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An alarm clock that should never be built

crave.cnet.com — Having difficulty waking? You just lack the motivation to get out of bed and shut the alarm off. Perhaps this alarm clock will do the trick. When you don't answer the alarm the "Tyrant" will randomly place telephone calls to the people in your cell's phonebook!

Who dugg this? Made popular Jul 7, 2008

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85 Comments

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  • redundant, on 07/06/2008, -2/+122This thing wouldn't make me lose sleep, just friends.
  • inactive, on 07/06/2008, -1/+99This really makes me glad that I have no friends.
  • psykiv, on 07/07/2008, -1/+65A Russian Roulette alarm clock would be sweet. Take too long to wake up and you may not ever end up waking up. The fun part is: you don't know how many times you can hit the snooze button! maybe once? Maybe twice? Maybe 7 times? Only one way to find out!!
  • jester55, on 07/06/2008, -2/+62it would be alot more effective if you had 911 programmed in there. Kind of like russian roulette.
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -1/+48Why not make an alarm with the off switch in the bathroom?
  • l800LEMMINGS, on 07/06/2008, -1/+26the supposed fear of losing friends, although this is a geek product, geeks don't have friends making it virtually pointless because you'd just be calling geek businesses that fill up your phone to make you feel important that theres numbers in your phone
  • aussieNickuss, on 07/07/2008, -0/+22You could spend your time creating devices to aid the handicapped, or inventing a cheap and honest way to feed poor people, but no, you chose to sit here on digg and post a useless comment.
  • Aitese, on 07/07/2008, -0/+20I'm sorry...were you bitching when Nintendo and Sega first released consoles? Did you cry a river when the DVD was invented? Some things in life are created for the mere amusement of others...get a grip.
  • GeorgeStone2, on 07/07/2008, -3/+21I'm pretty sure shotguns already exist.
  • aceslick911, on 07/07/2008, -0/+18genius!

    shotgun patent!
  • mohsenxp, on 07/07/2008, -0/+17Dude the problem isn't turning the alarm off. I do that just fine. The problem is then NOT going straight back to sleep!
    They need an alarm clock that squirts you with water or something.
    I've even tried putting my alarm across the room, but in my dazed dream state, I get up turn it off and go back to sleep, often without having any recollection of what I had done.
  • qwertydvorak, on 07/07/2008, -0/+14"and this would wake you up how?"

    when someone drives over to your house, kicks in your door, and punches you in your face you tend to wake up.
  • RockMuncher, on 07/07/2008, -1/+15If you really have trouble waking up, try buying an alarm clock designed for the deaf. Those little bastards use vibrations to shake you awake (and off the bed).
    There is nothing more disturbing than crashing at a friends house and waking up to a pillow earthquake. Very effective though.
  • GrandBreton, on 07/06/2008, -1/+14Well, it would work if it were a mandatory item. But anyone who willingfully installs this is just asking to piss off their contacts.
  • BalooUrsidae, on 07/06/2008, -3/+16This clock immediately replaces that clock that runs away from the nightstand when it goes off as the world's most insidious clock.
  • superpezgeek2, on 07/07/2008, -0/+11In college I rigged an RC car to drive off my dresser and onto my face every morning. It worked for about a week until I started dodging it. Then I thought about setting it up so the car would drive into a glass of water, which would have its contents poured onto my face. But I realized that it would probably work too well, and hey, at 8 am, sleep is more important than chemistry.
  • webkami, on 07/07/2008, -3/+14A geek with saved password?

    Come on, tell the truth. You are John McCain....
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -3/+14The ideal alarm clock should operate in stages, IMO. The first stage should be a relatively quiet double-beep every 30 seconds for three minutes. The second stage should be a persistent beeping for two minutes tied into a remote that opens the curtains. The third stage should be one of those metal bell-and-striker alarms like they used to use to dismiss classes at the end of the period in school and a couple of xenon strobes popping at 10 second intervals. The fourth stage should add an air horn/air raid siren. I've often speculated that if a fifth stage is required it might be best to have a system of burning rubber to work on the olfactory nerves because auditory and visual cues obviously aren't doing anything.
  • ricksite, on 07/07/2008, -0/+11Finally someone has invented a product that wakes the inventors up so they can get an early start on their work.
  • bagboyrebel, on 07/07/2008, -0/+11Everyone hear that? From now on we are only allowed to invent things that help handicapped or poor people.
  • seabass341, on 07/06/2008, -2/+12and this would wake you up how?
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -0/+10What about a shotgun/alarm clock hybrid?
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -1/+9It should have a speaker and mic and you should be able to hear your friends say "hello, what?".
  • timusca, on 07/07/2008, -0/+8And now you're on Digg? Hot damn, send me your resume.
  • Aitese, on 07/07/2008, -1/+8Wouldn't it just be better and less disruptive to your friends (unless they live with you) if the alarm started randomly turning on household appliances and setting the TV and stereo volumes to 10 (or 11 if you're into Spinal Tap) if you don't answer the initial beeps?
  • somedirtbag, on 07/07/2008, -0/+7Load it with a blank...*snooze* *BANG* AAAAHHH!!!
  • 89greener, on 07/07/2008, -0/+6I visualized you and your friends as Power Rangers. That and I would punch you on days I didn't have to wake when you did.
  • skaspud, on 07/07/2008, -1/+7sonic boom one?!
    i want one!
  • letherial, on 07/07/2008, -2/+8almost got the right idea...a better idea would be for it to call your boss to tell them your not waking up :)
  • asnider, on 07/07/2008, -0/+5The pissed off friends calling you back 5 minutes later to tell you to go ***** yourself?
  • prisoner24601, on 07/07/2008, -0/+5Actually as someone who really HATED his alarm clock for many years, I finally got myself one that starts by playing a CD. Then I mixed my own CD where the first song is soothing classical, the second is normal pop, then after a few songs I'm almost at thrash metal. Then I took Audacity (great freeware audio editor if you've never messed with it) and basically did a "fade in" over the whole thing.

    Now I set the alarm for 10 minutes before I really need to get up. If I'm well-rested it'll get me up pretty quickly. If I'm wiped out, it will still get me up within 10 minutes.

    The main thing is I've NEVER had to get that horrible "jarred into consciousness" feeling (which is always annoying, but truly awful when you are REALLY tired and it hits you when you are in deep REM...) when I've woken up since.
  • ZachSka87, on 07/07/2008, -0/+5Are you in the habit of going back to sleep after taking a very short shower in the morning?
  • freecris, on 07/07/2008, -5/+9I'm a geek.
    I only have 3 numbers on my phonebook: parents, CC pin, digg password.
  • Grungitude, on 07/07/2008, -0/+4Lol.. I'm deaf in my left ear, and hearing impaired in my right, I bought one of those Sonic Bomb alarms from thinkgeek, it's got the bed shaker, and the volume of the alarm goes up to 113 decibels. Anytime a friend decides to crash here, they always make sure I just use the shaker.
  • Dracusis, on 07/07/2008, -1/+5The first rule of Digg is: Never talk about Digg.
    The second rule of Digg is...
  • Andrwmorph, on 07/07/2008, -0/+4This would suck for people with only one friend.
  • inactive, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3you know, I think about this idea everyday. also I applied this idea with the protagonist from The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, if everybody thought like the atustic kid.

    if you want something done to help the environment or unfortunate people, then do it your self. the rest of the world is busy keeping the planet running.

    nothing gets handed to you, grow up. everybody can't be smart like you. nobody has the time to analyze all the data that goes through your head.

    long rant, I know. If you happen to be a daydreamer and avid reader like me, you'd understand ;)
  • vballplayer, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3Your fifth stage would not reliably work. Smell does not work when you are asleep, see this study

    http://sleepdisorders.about.com/cs/sleepdestroyers ...

    So never count on the smell of smoke waking you up during a fire.
  • Supervention, on 07/07/2008, -1/+4lol. ...well, it'd be the one alarm clock guaranteed to wake me up. or not. =P
  • s0nicfreak, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3and someone else did 5 days ago...

    http://digg.com/gadgets/Tyrant_alarm_clock_dials_y ...
  • nightterror, on 07/07/2008, -0/+3If you did have friends, you wouldn't have them after the first morning you sleep in.
  • ConfirmedCynic, on 07/07/2008, -2/+4Pull the plug. Back to sleep.
  • mohsenxp, on 07/07/2008, -1/+3turning the alarm off isn't a problem. Its turning it off and STAYING awake thats the problem. I find it all too easy to just go back to sleep.
  • psaffire, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2They need an alarm clock that shocks you a little... and increases the shock as we get used to being shocked.

    Yes, I make perfect sense.
  • mk47k, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2You speak for all of us here at Digg.
  • tcpip4lyfe, on 07/07/2008, -2/+4I think a bash script that will start writing 0's to your laptop at 6:05 unless canceled would be a better way to get people out of bed.
  • conchur, on 07/07/2008, -2/+4Why piss other people off because you can't wake up? Why not just incorporate spikes? mechanically assisted baseball bat?
  • TrevorBelmont, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2YOU could have spent THIS time at a homeless shelter or searching through dumpsters for discarded babies but instead you pissed in my ear.
    Good luck with your crusade! (PRO TIP: The dragons are wind mills)
  • digifuzz, on 07/07/2008, -3/+5Re: increasing shock value......I can see it now....

    ALARM: You were adopted.
    ALARM: The guy your girl brings to bed when you're not here wakes up before I do.
    ALARM: About that cake.....
  • miquonranger031, on 07/07/2008, -0/+2what? it's true.
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