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The Onion Explains the Inner Workings of Science [PIC]

theonion.com — As amateurs, most of the time we don't fully understand a science article we are reading but the newspapers sure do make it easier for us with their pretty pictures and dumbed down explanations. Leave it to the Onion satirize bad science for the masses.

Who dugg this? Made popular Dec 13, 2008

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  • Chebsi, on 12/12/2008, -2/+263STAND BACK EVERYONE!

    I'M ABOUT TO DO SCIENCE!
  • username7410, on 12/12/2008, -5/+126Dugg for "Isotopes?"
  • Propapanda, on 12/13/2008, -0/+97The sad part is you were wearing that shirt yesterday.
  • tombbox, on 12/13/2008, -7/+94STAND BACK EVERYONE!

    HES ABOUT TO DO SCIENCE!
  • TSK05, on 12/13/2008, -1/+80http://www.iter.org/pics/ITER_col.jpg
  • Carver520, on 12/12/2008, -1/+721. Isotopes
    2. ???
    3. SCIENCE!
  • Mawds, on 12/13/2008, -11/+71...............…………..„--~~""”¯¯¯””~~-„……………………………………...........
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    …………..|::::::::::::::::::::::::::/’;;;;;;;;;/::::::::::::::::::|…THERE'S GONNA BE SCIENCE
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  • fritsthestud, on 12/12/2008, -5/+52Dugg for sounds of thunder.
  • wastelander, on 12/13/2008, -0/+43and the day before.
  • ElWaffleGrande, on 12/13/2008, -2/+42Science, it works bitches.
  • IAmTheGuy, on 12/13/2008, -0/+33From the article
    http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_as ...
  • RadInfinitum, on 12/13/2008, -0/+29I'm not sure, but I believe it has something to do with science.
  • GorfTron, on 12/13/2008, -3/+28If something goes wrong with Science, monsters come out or you get super powers.
  • Rally603, on 12/13/2008, -0/+24Thanks Ollie.
  • WaterBullet, on 12/13/2008, -1/+22I'm Sciencing as fast as I can!
  • inactive, on 12/12/2008, -4/+25Lies! This is a non-unified theory! It only explains Physics. Where's my Biology machine?!
  • spect3r, on 12/13/2008, -1/+21Amazingly, this also explains how the internet works.
  • Powerfan5000, on 12/12/2008, -1/+20There is a flaw in the rigor.
  • Valyn, on 12/13/2008, -0/+19Except that's a different time of day. The tiny man has moved.
  • jetcombo15, on 12/13/2008, -0/+18Hey! It's the same one from the picture!
  • CalcProgrammer1, on 12/13/2008, -1/+16Well, it was a series of tubes...
  • hamobu, on 12/13/2008, -1/+16Scientist 1: Oh noes! The science thing has gone awry in some predictable way and we are facing the end of the universe in fifteen minutes
    Scientist 2: Have you tried "reversing the polarity"
    Scientist 1: Yes we did and no effect
    Scientist 2: That means that someone should go into the narrow tube thingy underneath the plasma flow and realign the dilithium crystals. But it takes 14 minutes to do that and gamma radiation will kill anyone in 13 minutes.
    Scientist 1: I will go! It is my love of science that made me build this machine and that put us all in this predicament. I guess the lesson here is that scientific knowledge can be dangerous. That silly old priest tried to warn me but I would not listen.
    Scientist 2: Good luck then. If you excuse us, the rest of us have to start running on foot to outrun the nuclear explosion that will result if you succeed.
  • Chjoma10, on 12/13/2008, -1/+15The Onion never fails to teach me something interesting
  • inactive, on 12/13/2008, -0/+13*****, wtf is that
  • youannoyme, on 12/13/2008, -1/+14Psh. You're science is nothing but applied Chemistry. And that is of course nothing but applied Physics. And I'm not going to say a word about math because I just realized I almost recapped an XKCD comic...
  • coondog35, on 12/12/2008, -1/+13Dugg for Tokamak
  • RadInfinitum, on 12/13/2008, -1/+12Could you dumb it down a shade?
  • exspasticcomics, on 12/13/2008, -0/+8bring in more science stuff & increase the flash gordon noise!
  • oo7evan, on 12/12/2008, -1/+9You're thinking too hard. Just nod and agree that science is good. It's what most people do.
  • neftaly, on 12/13/2008, -1/+8It's funny because you're a moron...
  • toshimonkey, on 12/13/2008, -1/+8Where are the test-tubes and calculus?
  • Brallit, on 12/13/2008, -0/+7FTA:
    "The scientists seemed to believe that correct math was what would help make the science thing go."
  • deathfix, on 12/13/2008, -0/+6It's so simple! That is EXACTLY the reason I'm majoring in Chemistry.
  • AManWithNoName, on 12/13/2008, -0/+6http://i37.tinypic.com/4toig4.jpg
  • marconius, on 12/13/2008, -9/+15The funny part is I'm actually wearing that shirt today.
  • inactive, on 12/13/2008, -0/+6It's a fusion reactor.
  • Ibox, on 12/13/2008, -0/+5It's Science!
  • dreid1987, on 12/13/2008, -0/+5Why would you ever want to bury The Onion?
  • GoldenChaos, on 12/13/2008, -1/+6sup dawg i herd u leik digg so we put some digg in ur digg, so u can digg while u digg!!
  • RedHeadedFreak, on 12/13/2008, -0/+5Sarah Palin joke LOL.
  • Autodidaddict, on 12/13/2008, -0/+5Buried for the dschmink
  • Prototek, on 12/13/2008, -0/+5Math is just applied logic.
  • Sornos, on 12/13/2008, -0/+5I'm glad I'm not the only one to recognize an experimental fusion reactor. Hopefully it'll make a lot of science.
  • jtbell04, on 12/13/2008, -0/+4Total protonic reversal.
  • RadInfinitum, on 12/13/2008, -0/+4Who?
  • fjsferreira, on 12/13/2008, -1/+5Onion staff for the Physics Nobel Prize!
  • spepin, on 12/13/2008, -1/+5So THAT'S how it happens.

    The more you know!
  • AgentMull, on 12/13/2008, -0/+4I was severely disappointed when I didn't see any hyperbolas in that machine.
  • Phawkes, on 12/13/2008, -0/+4I cannot apologize profusely enough. Please take this drawing of a spider as payment

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/25980521@N07/31041777 ...
  • STBAT25, on 12/13/2008, -0/+4God...I think.
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