50 Comments
- keyme, on 05/15/2008, -0/+21Wow, thank you science. I had no idea.
- Jordan117, on 05/15/2008, -0/+14Once again, The Onion has predicted this story years before it actually happened.
"Teen Sex Linked To Drugs And Alcohol, Reports Center For Figuring Out Really Obvious Things"
BOSTON—A definitive causal relationship exists between drug and alcohol use and teen sex, the Center For Figuring Out Really Obvious Things reported Monday.
The four-year, $3.5 million study, which examined the substance-abuse and sexual habits of more than 2,500 American teens, is regarded as one of the most "no-duh"-inducing in the center's history.
"Our exhaustive research clearly confirms that U.S. youths between the ages of 13 and 18 who drink and/or use drugs are more likely to be sexually active," said Dr. Gerald Eckersley, director of the Boston-based organization. "This may be our most significant finding since the landmark 1978 study that found a link between habitual chocolate consumption and weight gain."
Read the rest of the story here: http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38603 - rlray216, on 05/15/2008, -1/+14Who would have thought? Seriously thought - it's not just young adults who do this. Older adults also use alcohol to increase their chances of getting laid.
- gumby05, on 05/15/2008, -1/+11So Jack Daniels is the secret to getting Steven Seagal to take a dump on my head!
And to think that all this time I thought it was Jim Beam. - snagra, on 05/15/2008, -0/+11Oh, but only if it would work every time.
- KaiUno, on 05/15/2008, -1/+8Or, in case they are married, to make it more enjoyable. (Or perhaps to not remember the next day.)
- kentloset, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9That´s only because you get far less picky while drinking. Have a bottle of Jack and suddenly you´re standing there with a segal on your head having a dump while making out with a statue!
- olafcore, on 05/15/2008, -1/+8science confirms why i hate my ex-girlfriend these days
- GeorgeStone2, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6It works 63% of the time, every time.
- Abomonog, on 05/15/2008, -1/+7The only time that science ever embarrasses me is when they do a study on the obvious.
- GDOG5, on 05/15/2008, -1/+6Actually, I would of thought drinking alcohol increases the chance of having a fun night, and hooking up is just part of having a fun night.
- AzureRise, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5Scientists wasting their times on these studies need to get fired. Or denied pay until they create something productive.
- mos6507, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Correction: "a quarter of females intentionally drink alcohol to allow themselves to enjoy sex without being distracted by guilt or other phobias."
- insomniacal, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Study Confirms Most Studies Confirm the Obvious: http://seedlings.wordpress.com/1990/01/01/study-co ...
- NanoStuff, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5"a quarter of females intentionally drink alcohol to increase their chances of sex"
If you're a female and have to artificially increase your chances of getting sex... I don't know how to finish this sentence. - tubaros, on 05/15/2008, -5/+9duplicate AND boring
- Tayls, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Research has also shown that some males enjoy getting blowjobs. Excellent work, science team.
- xtinamo, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Too bad they couldn't do a study on wether or not drinking beer makes you pee more.
- irgeorge, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3If you're going to be a grammar nazi, at least do it with conviction and bile! That's how it's supposed to be done.
- karel747, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Man... there are a lot of grad students out there who have run *****-out of ideas, if these are the things they research.
- EvilLordBanana, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2uh DUUUUUUUUUUUUUH!
- iguanapunk, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4Drinking makes me flacid.
- jasdf, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Too bad I don't drink.
- luckyguy2000, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3thats why you clicked on it? :-D dugg!
- goerg, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3isnt this what does science most? confirming the obvious?
- greatgatsbyII, on 05/15/2008, -4/+5No ***** Sherlock.
- inactive, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1* adults. not just young adults.
- GeorgeStone2, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Whiskey dick is disturbing.
- Selenica, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Next Story! Science looks to confirm why scientists don't get laid!
- synyster, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Science Confirm the Obvious this article is full of *****
- snagra, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1I like those odds.
- firewound, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1This is what happens when your colleagues are already doing "relevant" studies and it's the night before your report is due!
- irgeorge, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2...and prostate checks.
- GOVStooge, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1You should see a doctor.
- luckyguy2000, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1i bet there is such a study.
- bemenaker, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1You're not supposed to like those????? :)
- pizzaface200, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1....than said female should not be having sex period.
- karel747, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1A lot of times these "studies" are conducted by grad students, eager to get their hands on a shiny new Masters or PhD. They've just run out of ideas, so they scrape by with these idiotic topics.
- visionaryIX, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Dugg for the title.
- Rexxy, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2would of thought = would have thought = would've thought. sounds the same I know, common mistake. sorry.
- reisrocks, on 05/15/2008, -9/+10duplicated article. Buried.
- inactive, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Sorry about that mate. I was drunk.
- mydave, on 08/12/2008, -0/+0hmmmmmmmmm. I think it not works always.
http://search.ashtech.info/science - inactive, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2Some, drink to get drunk.
- aussieNickuss, on 05/15/2008, -2/+5unnecessary comma
- 0x000005, on 05/15/2008, -1/+0The summary is misleading. The implication is that the main purpose of young people drinking is to increase their chances of having sex. However, the article states that 1/3 (or less) of them drink for that reason.
I suppose it's strictly true -- "science confirms that [some] young people drink to increase their chances of having sex". As far as blanket generalizations go, the more accurate conclusion would be that young people do not drink to hook up.
Kevin - chrgrose, on 05/15/2008, -4/+2http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/hol ...
- mciampa1214, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1Necessary capitalization of the first letter in a sentence.
- frisk415, on 05/15/2008, -6/+1It was pretty cool, pretty chill. It wasn't bad. It was good but not great. You know. It was kind of ok.



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