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134 Comments
- Pete0430, on 01/04/2009, -1/+130"Good night mommy"
"Cheap Cialis and Viagra, shipped today!" - GTQ21, on 01/04/2009, -1/+110I know they are trying to be helpful but WTF...
- schrankage, on 01/04/2009, -0/+81whisky tango foxtrot
- borez, on 01/04/2009, -0/+78That's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.
- mrgarci1, on 01/05/2009, -1/+57Wouldn't it just be easier to fight a virtual war and leave the real parents at home?
"Let's just settle this border dispute over a game of Red Alert" - Mpwns, on 01/04/2009, -4/+50Yvan eht Nioj.
- Ysabetwordsmith, on 01/05/2009, -0/+38That's horrifying. Chatbots are no substitute for a caring adult -- if a parent is not available, another relative should be, or a close family friend, or at least some kind of teacher or guide.
- snaglepuss, on 01/05/2009, -0/+34A mixture of sick, twisted & creepy all rolled into one.
InB4 skynet. - JeffLongoria, on 01/05/2009, -0/+33I thought FOR SURE this was the Onion this time.
- doublefelix, on 01/05/2009, -0/+32I love my cold, heartless, replacement parents!
- sweeneyowns, on 01/05/2009, -2/+32The military wants to get its sticky fingers in every aspect of its members lives. I bet some jackass major thought this up in order to save internet bandwith so the general can surf his unblocked internet easier. honestly, its all about money it costs to talk on the phone, or the ridiculous amount of money the military spends contracting crappy software.
- STBAT25, on 01/05/2009, -0/+27Will the Department of Defense also pay for the psychiatry bills these children will need?
- edocronian, on 01/05/2009, -0/+23This is effing stupid. Either make robots to fight the wars so the parents arent deployed, or research WAYS OF NOT GOING TO WAR IN THE FIRST PLACE.
I prefer the latter solution. - hwy9nightkid, on 01/05/2009, -0/+22"The U.S. Department of Defense is looking to develop virtual parents to comfort children when moms and dads on active duty aren't available to talk."
How cruel would it be, your talking to this thing, when your real parent is dead. Creepy. - johndi, on 01/05/2009, -0/+21When I saw the headline I was thinking this just has to be the type of pie in the sky idea that comes out of DARPA. Sure there are plenty of great minds there, but sometimes you just have to tell them that their ideas won't work in practice because people aren't machines.
Unfortunately it appears that this is not a DARPA project waiting to be shot down as a great idea in theory but it would unethical to do this to children. It looks like the work of jackass officers who think that families join the military as a whole and become DOD property to order do with what they please. I saw how the military treated my friends' families when I was in. It was pretty bad. Their wives would get calls at four in the morning ordering them to come to meetings. Never mind that they were civilians and not subject to orders by these clowns. There was always an implied threat that the soldier's career would suffer if the spouse didn't comply. Because of the idiots who come up with these ideas like these I promised myself I would not have a family until I was 100% civilian again. Stories like this one make me glad I kept that promise. - GarrettGrimsley, on 01/05/2009, -0/+19"You promised no rushing"
- GovernmentsGun, on 01/05/2009, -1/+17Whats the difference? The military likes to make robots out of it's people, why not entertain their kids with the same?
- Ghoztt, on 01/05/2009, -0/+16Don't worry. The chat bots will be completely politically correct.
Big Brother Loves You.
Now take your pills. - GuacamoleSan, on 01/05/2009, -0/+15"I always felt like the left behind child!"
"Error, restate last sentence"
"There you go, always treating me like that!"
"Error in line 45 of central algorithm cannot compute."
"OF COURSE YOU CANT COMPUTE YOU HAVE NO SOUL"
"Required definition of 'soul'" - inactive, on 01/05/2009, -1/+16Strange, I suddenly want to join the Navy
- boredco, on 01/05/2009, -0/+15Hmmm. A cheaper, lower-tech solution to the problem of missing parents is to not invade Iraq
- twiztidsinz, on 01/05/2009, -0/+13Less chatbots, more Fembots.
- XeRoX2k2, on 01/05/2009, -0/+13hello [insert name of child]
press 1 if you have a problem with your sibling
press 2 if you had a problem at school
press 3 if you injured yourself
press 4 if you would like a virtual hug - Cerialthriller, on 01/05/2009, -2/+12whats horrifying is that people ***** have kids and then go away and leave them for months or years at a time. Either start a family or join the military doing both is just wrong
- KarlH, on 01/05/2009, -1/+10http://www-ai.ijs.si/eliza-cgi-bin/eliza_script
You: ga-ga
Eliza: Please go on.
You: da-da
Eliza: Please go on.
You: gooo
Eliza: Please go on.
You: WAAAH
Eliza: Please go on. - RevChris2, on 01/05/2009, -0/+9You know that they wont
- justjoehere, on 01/05/2009, -0/+8Everyone, within the military it is a well known fact that deployments cause many problems within the family system (parent-parent relationships, parent-child relationships, etc...). Deployments in war time are even worse. Well I don't agree with this idea at all, it is one of those good intentions and road to hell scenarios. In any event, I think they are trying to find ways to eliminate stress within deployed families. They are focusing on children because children want to believe they are talking to their parent, do not have a lot of specific history to get in the way of a successful chatbot session (Turing issue), and their emotional needs are more basic than an adults.
That being said, it is absolutely arrogant to think that a chatbot can fulfill the emotional needs of children. They could do more harm than good. It would be better if they hired psychologists to role play as parents. At the end of the day this idea is morally wrong, ethically bankrupt, and our service members deserve better. - AnGryTreE, on 01/05/2009, -0/+7Dave Jr. I think you should just take a stress tab and put down that stupid teddy bear.
- JackSchittt, on 01/05/2009, -0/+7Shouldn't we be sending the robots to fight and keeping the parents at home instead of the other way around?
- ahhell, on 01/05/2009, -0/+6The virtual psychiatrist will take care of that.
- thcobbs, on 01/05/2009, -0/+6Wait... did you just mix 1984 and Equilibrium?
Dude.. damn. That just ain't right. - shalb, on 01/05/2009, -0/+6Seriously, WTF?
- inactive, on 01/05/2009, -0/+6Gotta love that catchy chorus!
- twiztidsinz, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5But war = money.......
- millerftw, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5It is really getting harder to tell if its the onion or not skimming over articles on digg.
- Benno, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5That worked on Eminiar VII.
- honestpen, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5Is this a joke?
- Fhwqhgads, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5Now now. We can't be looking for logical solutions.
- brainflakes, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5What a horrible idea!
- Chompy, on 01/05/2009, -0/+5I think I'll go with scariest, myself.
Followed by creepiest. - GuacamoleSan, on 01/05/2009, -0/+4You should work for the DOD
- coyote1284, on 01/05/2009, -0/+4"Would you like to play a game?"
Tactical Thermal Nuclear War! - coyote1284, on 01/05/2009, -0/+4I. am. in. the. Air. Force. and. I. am. getting. a. kick. out. of. your. comment.
Ha. ha. ha. - Nauree, on 01/05/2009, -0/+4a/s/l?
- bunki8, on 01/05/2009, -1/+5Read the SBIR - The article is completely misleading : http://www.dodtechmatch.com/DOD/Opportunities/SBIR ...
Basically they want to create personal pre-recorded videos of the parent that will be played when the kid says "goodnight" or something similar. They are NOT looking to replace the parent with huge AI.... - zuiquan, on 01/05/2009, -0/+4OK, a pillow case with the parent's picture--fine. A teddy bear with a voice recording of the parent--fine. Chat bots to be a fake parent--come the ***** on. How about we stop sending people on ridiculous 18 month long combat tours to the ***** of the world?
- johndi, on 01/05/2009, -0/+4This is from your link. Below is the part where they say they are looking to have an AI be a virtual parent. Informationweek got it right.
"We are seeking development of a tool which can be used to help families (especially, children) cope with deployments by providing a means to have simple verbal interactions with loved ones for re-assurance, support, affection, and generic discussion when phone and internet conversations are not possible. The application should incorporate an AI that allows for flexibility in language comprehension to give the illusion of a natural (but simple) interaction. The current solicitation is not aiming to build entertainment, but a highly accurate and advanced simulation platform." - Cerialthriller, on 01/05/2009, -1/+5what is the point of having a kid if you are never going to see him. One of my best friends didn't really get to know his father until he was around 14 or 15 because he was away in japan or germany or on a submarine somewhere. Missed his first steps, first words, first day of school, first little league game, well all of them for that matter. Really whats the point?
- Wopasaurus, on 01/05/2009, -0/+3Smarter Child FTL.
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