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175 Comments
- APHughes, on 10/12/2007, -8/+376Q: why do mommy and daddy sleep in the same bed?
A: because they are poor - GawtMilk, on 10/12/2007, -7/+223Follow her next time she goes "shopping".
- wphj, on 10/12/2007, -11/+217Scrubs:
Carla: Turk, I want to keep my last name when we get married.
Turk: Sure honey, we'll just have one of those modern marriages where the couple doesn't love each other. - NtroP, on 10/12/2007, -5/+94I've been married over 20 years. My wife was my best friend before we got married and still is my best friend. I'd honestly rather hang out and do fun stuff with my her than any other one of my friends. We've raised 2 great kids and have a mostly traditional marriage (except I'm a chef, the kitchen is *mine*, if you know what I mean).
We sleep in the same room, but in separate beds. I much prefer to not have to fight her for the blankets and she likes not having to worry about me waking up every time she tosses and turns. When I lay down, I wake up the next morning and am in the same position. She can't do that, she's all over the bed. I like it cold when I go to bed. She prefers to be toasty warm, so she has a heap of blankets (including an electric one) and a small heater while I have a comforter and a fan.
If one of us is feeling ill (or congested, gassy, restless, whatever) we move to the guest room and can get a good night's sleep without having to worry about making the other sick or keeping the other up all night with coughing or blowing our noses, etc. I works great. The greatest gift you can get is a truly good night's sleep! (Head is a close second, though.)
We are totally in love with each other and don't need the constant "reassurance" of sex that so many couples seem to crave. Sure, we enjoy sex and "meet each other" in the bedroom (or living room, or kitchen, or bathroom, ... isn't it great when the kids have moved out?) whenever we can, but when it comes to actually sleeping, we each have, and like, our own space. Even in hotels we try to get a room with 2 queen beds instead of one king (unless that's the only room with a hot-tub). It works for us.
I think the most important part is that couples love each other enough to be totally honest about what they need and want, and work out an arrangement that satisfies both. I mean, after all, if you had your best friend as a room mate, that's what you'd do, right? I'm just lucky enough to have married my best friend. - Lixie, on 10/12/2007, -11/+96Maybe she doesn't appreciate your Dutch Oven fascination.
- SlackerCSB, on 10/12/2007, -12/+89Try showering a little more dude.
- Duositex, on 10/12/2007, -26/+77What the hell is this crap? Don't people genuinely love each other anymore?
- MainframeF4, on 10/12/2007, -4/+49Viagra stocks are dropping as you digg.
- mrmdc, on 10/12/2007, -12/+52people really say 'nookie' ?
- negativefx, on 10/12/2007, -12/+43@gawtmilk: HAHAHAHAHAHA
@mrmdc: yes, people do still say 'nookie'...the same ones who don't share a bed with their woman. - negativefx, on 10/12/2007, -48/+77@jrock: separate beds huh? isn't it about time that you just admit you're gay and your marriage is a cover up?
- spidoman, on 10/12/2007, -6/+33I totally think for the first years (read decades) of marriage couples would hopefully be sleeping together, but lots of good marriages turn into really really good friendships after a couple of decades, and a good night sleep may be more important than proving that you are comfortable with your partner. There are lots of ways to show that you care and love each other, not a lot of different ways to get a good night sleep. I don't see anything too awful about it as long as they find another way to show intimacy and both people are fine with the switch.
- Chompy, on 10/12/2007, -6/+30My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms, and it's awesome. I snore like a freight train and get up alot, and she tosses and pokes me when I snore. We're both sleeping much better this way.
I tend to think all the guys making smarmy comments aren't in a situation where sleeping in the same bed with someone is an issue. If you were, you'd know. - bluejet, on 10/12/2007, -2/+25Sometimes Mom's basement doesn't seem like a bad idea...
Mom! Hotpockets! - diggduggjoe, on 10/12/2007, -6/+28Yeah, she'll be old!
- Maarek, on 10/12/2007, -10/+29Me and my wife sleep in seperate rooms but there is no couple that love each other more. I personally like having my own space and so does she.
Sometimes love just doesn't fit into ye olde framework. - olivr, on 10/12/2007, -18/+37My wife is the first woman I've been with that is GLAD when we don't have to share the same bed. All other girlfriends go teary-eyed if not spending night together after nookie.
- davecor, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19I snore... my wife LIKES it! I guess I'm her white-noise machine or something. She never wakes me or pokes me in the ribs.
I know I'm one LUCKY bastard to have her. - betterth, on 10/12/2007, -9/+27Lol yeah, my girlfriend doesn't like being in the same bed with me because I snore. So either I'll stop or we'll not be sleeping together much. Which is totally cool, because as much as I like sharing my bed, I like to take up 90% of a queen on my own.
- MainframeF4, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19This also means guys will start pimping our their beds. Rise up LCD's,built-in 360's and under pillow subwoofers. Actually this is not such a bad idea after all.
- skyfire1, on 10/12/2007, -8/+25If you don't enjoy more sex in the morning, then get as many beds as you can.
- ScottMaximus1, on 10/12/2007, -2/+19"I like to take up 90% of a queen on my own."
I'm sure you do - NoData, on 10/12/2007, -3/+18my, you're quite an extremist in your commitment to moderation.
- davecor, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17She stays late at work.... and takes late-night calls from her boss... and she wants to put a door between her and you when she talks to him.
Anyone else see a problem brewing here? - thumperings, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15holy crap look at the size of that guy's feet on that page!
- nixonrichard, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15My wife and I sleep in the same bed but with separate comforters so we disturb each other less. I put a 42" LCD at the foot of my side of the bed (we have a larger 50" plasma in the room so it's not like I'm hogging the TV) to play Xbox. Everything was fine until gears of war came out. I keep it pretty quiet, but she got a little disturbed because sometimes I would wake her up with a quiet "***** yeah!" and she would turn over to see me putting a chainsaw through a guy.
- enjoymarcus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15I love my girlfriend, but I love sleeping alone more. I thought I was just a strange loner . . at least now I'm no longer strange.
- azurechaos, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15yes, some do. maybe we're the lucky ones, but we do fine sleeping together in the same bed. and we love each other. it just works. not to mention i LIKE sleeping in the same bed as her.
- bdurkin, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15mom's basement doesn't count dude.....J/K
- NoSuchAgency, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14"holy crap look at the size of that guy's feet on that page!"
No wonder his wife wants a separate bed... - NtroP, on 10/12/2007, -2/+14Your wife called. She says she loves you - she doesn't like the snoring.
- thumperings, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12 DiggDuggJoe "The downside would be much less sex. Morning sex is nice and being together facilitates that."
not if she sleeps above you in a hammock you control with pulleys like I do. - blujaded, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13It has nothing to do with love - it's all about sleep. Being a mommy, it was my job to get up at all hours of the night and walk around like a zombie during the day. I have earned the right to a good night's sleep. I shouldn't have to toss and turn for hours listening to him snore only to be poked in the back at 2:30 in the morning a quickie that puts him right back to sleep while I lie there wide awake.
Having said that, I don't think I could give up cuddling with my man on a regular basis. I'll take his occasional out of town trips, call them blessings, and be thankful when he comes home and I have someone there to share my heart and my bed! - Tacobake, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12Yeah my ex did the ear plug thing. She said they were quite confortable. I always said the noise was the cats but turns out it was me.
- theratdotus, on 10/12/2007, -13/+24when i get married i wanna sleep in a separate house with a separate woman.
- Uruviel, on 10/12/2007, -4/+15I for one can't imagine sleeping in a different bed then my girlfriend. When she's not there I look forward to the moments she's laying next to me again. But maybe it's all different in 2015.
- 2gig, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12I think at the beginning of a relationship it's all matching jammies and throw pillows.
But 20 years in, you realize sleep is not romantic, it's a bodily function. I don't poop with my wife, and while I "sleep" with her on a daily basis, I don't sleep with her either. She works a regular shift, I work third shift. It just works out easier, particularly when I get up in what you people call the middle of the night. As in the NYT article, we sleep (and "sleep") together on weekends.
When I'm unconcious, I really don't care. And as one poster said, it's true.. over the years the bed has fewer (none) throw pillows and other crap. I just need a kegerator now.
Also, we don't use the same spoon when eating soup, but I think that may be sign of trouble. - cphuntington97, on 10/12/2007, -3/+14When I tell potential partners that I want this, they always seem strongly put off.
As with everything else in life, I am looking for a balance of alone time and together time; a balance of socializing and solitude: everything in moderation, including moderation itself. - gatewalker, on 10/12/2007, -6/+16Nope, not always. I have a relative whose wife used to make him sleep in a different bed, in another room, every night.
Two kids, and that was it.
They did this for years, before she left him for a married man. (A man who I think is still married - just not to her).
Who's needs TV, when you have this kind of family drama going on around you?....
In all honesty, that relative of mine in question, I don't think I've ever seen him happier than he is now! - versapak, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11How is it any sign of the breakdown of the family?
My wife and I sleep in separate rooms, because we keep very different sleep schedules. I only sleep 4-5 hours a night, while she needs her 8-9, not to mention I do tend to snore.
We function just fine as a family. We have 4 kids, and we spend plenty of quality time together. We all eat dinner at the table together, and we spend time doing activities with each other in the evenings and on weekends.
As far as intimacy goes, sleeping isn't really a part of it, and it is not like we are not allowed in each others rooms.
By ensuring that we are both able to sleep the way that best suits us, we are able to more enjoy the times we get to spend together awake. - NtroP, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11I'm not sure why there'd be "much less sex". First, the bedroom isn't the only place to have sex. Second, there is nothing precluding you or your partner from slipping quietly in bed and initiating morning sex (and if you really love her you will have brushed your teeth first :-)
See my post above. In my opinion, getting a great night's sleep is one of the great gifts in life. The occasional "surprise visit" is nice, but doesn't offset the times when you accidently roll over and smack her in the head or she has to fight to get the blankets back.
In theory, I like to be woken up to gentle sex as much as the next person. In practice (after more than 20 years of marriage) I've found that I have a full bladder, bad breath, and the need to really let a good one rip first thing in the morning. These tend to be buzz-kills - for both of us.
The romantic notions of waking up next to your sweetheart and making sweet love to her first thing in the morning tend to be limited to the movies and newlyweds who a) can't get enough of each other and b) are afraid that if they don't act like they can't get enough of each other at every opportunity that there must be something wrong with their relationship. It is at the point that the relationship gets mature enough that lovers can truly be honest with each other that "the honeymoon is over" and that's when real sex and the real relationship can start to truly blossom. - sergeantmudd, on 10/12/2007, -19/+28Yep, you can't having a loving marriage when you sleep in separate beds. You also can't have a committed relationship without marriage, nor raise normal children if you are gay couple. All these things have been proven.
- scoreloot, on 10/12/2007, -6/+15My wife and I have slept in the same bed for many years, having two seperate rooms would be a smack in my belief of marriage, and sleeping in two seperate beds in the same room is too ozzie and harriet for me. I can understand others doing, i have known a few who do, but my wife and I are passionate, not just in love. This has not subsided in the 11 years of marriage. Good on others who do, just not for me,
- pathy, on 10/12/2007, -5/+14I don't see what the problem is.
If I ever get married, I'm planning to 'love' my spouse in as many places other than the bed room as possible!
Seriously - If you love each other, then what's the problem in wanting your own space when you're sleeping? Sure, it's nice to cuddle, but there's time for that before you're sleeping, and when you can do things with each other, other than roll over and hit in the face accidentaly. - Lathir, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11@NtroP:
I completely understand where you're coming from.
My partner and I sleep in separate rooms due to our sleep partners and habits. We're both fairly light sleepers, but I toss and turn, and he snores. We have an excellent relationship, we still have tons of sex, and we're very happy together. But sleeping in our separate rooms works out well for us, as I get up at 5:30am for work, he gets up at 8am for school. Where i'm in bed at 10pm, and he doesn't go until about 2am, we'd just be waking each other up constantly and not getting any sleep.
And for those saying that it's not healthy, or that we have problems in our relationship, maybe consider that not everybody needs to be sleeping in the same bed to have a HAPPY, sex filled, very satisfying monogamous relationship. Think outside the box for a change. - jvanaken, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11I understand about the snoring - earplugs are a necessity for me. Find some good foam ones, and try it out. Beats sleeping on the couch.
- PoodleMomma, on 10/12/2007, -5/+14I have to admit that my husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now and do not sleep together. We did not co-habitate prior to marriage, so his snoring cut the honey-moon phase short. We tried for at least six months and I just couldn't take it. That does not invalidate that we are compatible companions however. All this time the last one up takes the sofa. It would be nice to have our own bed rooms though so no one has to take the sofa. I have told a few people, as it is a little embarrassing (don't want people to assume there are problems). He however is very insecure about it, and no there is not extra-curricular activity going on. I know for the both of us it creates embarrassment, but more for him since he cannot control the snoring "he has the problem." Middle class all the way, I guess I'll know when we move up the class ladder--when we can afford to add on seperate bedrooms.
- katyggls, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8I don't know why people assume that a couple sleeping in different beds means they have intimacy problems. Up until about 75 years ago, it was commonplace, at least for middle and upper class couples to have separate bedrooms. When they were tired and just wanted to sleep they slept apart. And when they wanted action, they visited one another's space. I imagine the same kind of thing happens in homes today where the couple have different bedrooms. If you think about it, it could add an exciting new dimension to sex. How often can a man say he made a "booty call" on his own wife? ;-)
- gostars, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8In other news, the divorce rate is not expected to get any better.
- Scoresheet, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10you are wrong.
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