What is Digg?355 Comments
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -5/+406Screw that article.
look to the right of it.
http://www.thebachelorguy.com/field-guide-to-the-north-american-bikini.html - inactive, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2628. Whipping it out in church.
- kidendless, on 10/10/2007, -3/+237so there i was, in the trendiest bar in town, when BAM!, there she is. most beautiful chick i've ever seen. i stare at her for about a minute or so, letting her know what's up, then finally walked over to her, looked her up and down, and went HOLY *****! she giggled, and i was IN THERE! while regaling her about the chick i had nailed only 7 hours earlier, i "accidentally" (heh, you know what i mean) groped this chick over and over. after a little HARDCORE game, including having her rub my pimp-ass playboy medallion, it was back to her place. crazy broad went food shopping on the way over, and asked if i could help carry the groceries in. i told her that would be no problem, because luckily...i was rocking my zubaz. money in the bank, son.
INACCURATE! - Biskino, on 10/10/2007, -7/+2087 things women some women do that creep me out...
1-7 Go on and on and on (and on) about how much 'unwanted' male attention they get. - twrife, on 10/10/2007, -4/+151"Coming Off Like You've Never Seen a Real, Live Woman Before"
What if I haven't? :( - theshizzler, on 10/10/2007, -2/+147women just don't understand :(
and for that matter, neither do the police :( - davidleeroth, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1399. "I'm here for the gangbang..."
- mt066, on 10/10/2007, -1/+133"While talking to a family friend at a family function, he "accidentally" touched my left breast... four times. That's right: Four. Times."
Uhhhmmm....do a lot of guys actually do this? Or does she just have a really creepy uncle? - Nougat, on 10/10/2007, -12/+130One Thing Women Do That Makes Men Think They're a Pain in the Ass and a Tease:
Not cutting to the chase and getting freaky.
Seriously. Women: men want to have sex with you. Many men also have the utmost respect in your abilities, see you as competent peers, and think you're getting the short end of the stick as far as equal pay goes - *while also* wanting to have sex with you. The two are not mutually exclusive. Men also get really, really tired of having to beg and plead for sex. It makes us think there's something wrong with us, because surely, if there was nothing wrong with us, it wouldn't be such a hassle.
As always, when it comes to relationships and sex, women get everything they want, and men don't. Put out already. - inactive, on 10/10/2007, -13/+119God I hate these jaded bitch-rant articles.
- Jomwilli, on 10/10/2007, -3/+108Your LOOKS have a lot to do with whether you come off as a Pervert or just Flirting, unfortunately.
- manicallday, on 10/10/2007, -6/+90Whatever.... The Todd disapproves.
- jooaakim, on 10/10/2007, -5/+86especially when they dress in very low cut jeans or with a big cleavage...
what do they expect? - MiamiGuy, on 10/10/2007, -3/+71Last time I tried to be a gentleman and hold the door open for a woman I was barked at with "you just want to check out my ass". Hardly my intentions.
Let's face it if you're a man you're automatically a pervert to women. No need to compile a list. - Nougat, on 10/10/2007, -2/+61You must not be trying very hard. Here, I'll help:
Step 1: Go up to any guy you want to, and say, "Let's go *****."
Step 2: There are no other steps. - cmiller1, on 10/10/2007, -3/+60Giggity
- Blue_Eon, on 10/10/2007, -3/+60Jesus Christ, who does these things?
- TygerrTygerr, on 10/10/2007, -1/+57Man, articles like these are so stupid. Don't fondle someone's breasts and pretend it was an accident, who knew? Don't hack her head off and keep it in the freezer you say? Woah, is my face red.
It's just as well articles like these hinge on assuming their readership to be grossly incompetent dimwits, because they probably would have to be to get anything out of it. - Stopher, on 10/10/2007, -1/+57"1. Accidental Breast Touch Number 2: Accidental Breast Touch Number 1 will be written off as an accident - provided it doesn't linger - but ABT #2 means you're just trying to cop a feel."
So you get one free? =P - CDoug03, on 10/10/2007, -8/+58I can understand being creepy if your apartment is scattered with all kinds of magazines and videotapes like "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-***** Volume 8", "I Need Your *****", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My ***** Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black ***** and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave *****", "Girls Who Crave *****", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard *****".
But what is with the hate on Playboy? Playboy is more respectable than FHM, Maxim, or any girly magazine like Cosmo or YM. *****, my last girlfriend bought me a subscription to Playboy for Christmas. - CDoug03, on 10/10/2007, -19/+64digg me down
- monospaced, on 10/10/2007, -2/+45Especially when they have tight pants on with the word "juicy" printed across both butt cheeks. I'm gonna read it.
- footissimo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+44How long does it take before the ABT-ometer is reset?
- CavemanUK, on 10/10/2007, -3/+45You have to press the two reset buttons
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -2/+44If some family friend touched her breasts 4 times, then I demand to see pics of the offended breasts!
- inactive, on 10/10/2007, -13/+54this bitch really needs to GET OVER HERSELF.
- rabidg00se, on 10/10/2007, -5/+45Hang on, boys. Don't get all defensive - I'm not here to point fingers and call you all out as a slobbering, drooling, certified perverts. I'm just trying to open your eyes to some usually well-meant and harmless behaviors even the most well-intentioned guys sometimes do. Why? Because although I know you mean well, our perception outweighs your intent. And you don't want to be perceived as a pervert, creep or loser, do you? This is inside information, just for you.
1. Accidental Breast Touch Number 2:
Accidental Breast Touch Number 1 will be written off as an accident - provided it doesn't linger - but ABT #2 means you're just trying to cop a feel. And hope I will write it off as another "accident", or that my breast-based nerve cells and unsophisticated girl brain are not receptive to your stealthy, ninja-like boob brush. Rendering me oblivious while you get your jollies. Which isn't the case, perv.
This actually happened to me recently. While talking to a family friend at a family function, he "accidentally" touched my left breast... four times. That's right: Four. Times. Was he thinking because I didn't smack him into next Thursday that it was ok? (And the only reason I didn't was because my 17 year-old cousin was standing right there. Another sign of how unbelievably nervy and pervy this guy was.) The first one, like I said above, was written off as unintentional, a function of his enthusiastic storytelling. But after the third swipe I started to think: maybe my family needs some new friends. I know some of us cannot talk without using our hands (guilty), but remember that it might be best to keep things in close proximity when there are breasts around.
If you're looking to make a move, or gauge a girl's interest, a light touch on the shoulder or elbow is much sexier, and it won't get you labeled a degenerate.
2. Broadcasting Your Love of Playboy:
Examples: Having the Playboy logo proudly displayed anywhere on your car (or worse, on a shirt or around your neck), leaving your magazine collection sprawled out on the coffee table when you know I'm coming over, or having your computer's desktop be a shrine to the "Girls Next Door". I have no objection to you being a fan of the magazine, and hell, I like to look at pretty naked girls just as much as the next person, but how about stashing them in a drawer when you know I'll be around? Catching a peek of them in that drawer might even be a little bit sexy in my eyes - you never know. But always remember: Being surrounded by beautiful women makes a man look hot, but being surrounded by pictures of beautiful women who don't even know he exists, makes him look like a loser.
3. The Creepy Across-the-Bar Stare:
Every girl likes when a man notices her across a crowded bar, but eying me for longer than five seconds prior to striking up a conversation will just creep me out. Five seconds says you're gathering courage or the right opening line, but after six seconds it just tells me you're undressing me with your eyes, which is downright creepy. Think about it this way, boys: How many times have you had some drunk woman do this to you at a club? Sure, it can be a little ego-boosting at first, but you know damn well that after a certain amount of her staring without speaking, it gets a little weird. And you start checking to make sure your fly is up or if there beer dribbling down your chin. Maybe your man-meter says 10 seconds of staring at a woman lets her know you're interested, but the woman-meter says you'd better start taking before our clock ticks six.
4. Going to the Gym or Appearing in Public Wearing Anything Leopard/Cheetah Print, a Headband, or - Good Heavens - Those Dreaded Zubaz Pants From 1989:
You're a man. You are not allowed to own or wear these things unless you are an 80's porn star. (I'm not even going to get into the bushy mustache.) And porn stars aren't guys most women want to date. I've never looked at Ron Jeremy and thought: Mmmm, yummy. And men who try to look like him just make me sad. Men who don't have the sense to look around and realize they are the only ones wearing workout fashion from 20 years ago, make me sadder. Please, please don't be "that guy". And please, please don't come up and talk to me.
5. Bringing Up Your Sexual Escapades, or Asking About Mine, Within 24 Hours of Meeting Me:
Say you and I are having a nice first date dinner at a fancy restaurant. We've made the small talk, you've told me I look great (which is a must, by the way), and our drinks have just arrived. After taking a thoughtful sip of wine, you look deep into my eyes and say "So. Do you like it from behind or do you need to see the guy's face the whole time?"
Yes, I know by this point you guys are thinking about what sex with us would be like, and yes we're curious about you too. But you won't make it to dessert - let alone the bedroom - if you decide it should be one of our first conversations. Your best bet is to wait until we've had a few dates. but who knows, you may get lucky and I may bring it up myself sooner than you think. The key here, boys, is patience.
6. Offering to Come Home From the Grocery Store with Me to Carry and Put Away My Groceries:
Now guys, I realized that as a 5'3", 100lb woman barely able to push her overflowing cart down the grocery aisles, I look like I'm in desperate need of help. And you know what? I am. But grocery stores have staff to help me to my car, and there is absolutely no way some strange guy inviting himself into my home isn't going to come off as a weirdo. No matter how noble he thinks his intentions are. Instead, be the guy in line behind the creep, giving me an "I can't believe he said that either" look when this is all going on. That guy is my hero of the hour, he totally gets that there's a perv standing in-between us, he obviously sees the humor in this, and I like him already. As long as he doesn't offer to come home with me to put away my groceries.
7. Coming Off Like You've Never Seen a Real, Live Woman Before:
This is a classic case of a poorly executed compliment. Say you and I are standing in line next to each other at a coffee shop. You think I look gorgeous, so you look me up and down, then mutter "Wow." Although I get the point that you like how I look (which, I'm assuming, was your intention), I'm feeling around in my purse for my mace. Just in case your next line is something like, "I've seen pictures of pretty girls before, but never one in person." This is another situation where you want to be the guy in line behind the "Wow Guy", giving me a knowing look and maybe even a wink. I'm much more likely to give that guy my number in return.
What muttering some word of amazement also says to me is you don't have the social skills - or the man-stones - to actually give a girl a real compliment. Or, more chillingly, that, in your creepy little mind, you fail to realize that I am, in actuality, standing next to you, instead of just being a jpg on your computer screen, as would be the usual way you see women. - kent1146, on 10/10/2007, -3/+43If I could digg you up twice, I would.
God bless. - inactive, on 10/10/2007, -5/+44Yes! ACT (Accidental ***** Touch) is A-OK!
- cquilliam, on 10/10/2007, -0/+38Disapproval high five!
- rotarychainsaw, on 10/10/2007, -7/+45#8 - Be a male.
- cldibble, on 10/10/2007, -4/+42Hmmm.. This parallels the girls at the office who dress like a slut, leave more skin exposed than an operating table, and wonder why they get stared at. the same guy will stare at a monkey in a biker jacket, or anything else inappropriate.
- cloudyprison, on 10/10/2007, -3/+40I can understand once, maybe twice. The accidental when a hug is initiated, or assisting someone who has fallen over, but not four times. No way. I call perv.
- lkv87, on 10/10/2007, -4/+41...but the ABT is my only play :(
- LoneJeeper, on 10/10/2007, -12/+49for those firewall-afflicted
7 Things Some Guys Do That Make Women Think They're a Pervert
08/06/2007
Posted by TechChick
Hang on, boys. Don't get all defensive - I'm not here to point fingers and call you all out as a slobbering, drooling, certified perverts. I'm just trying to open your eyes to some usually well-meant and harmless behaviors even the most well-intentioned guys sometimes do. Why? Because although I know you mean well, our perception outweighs your intent. And you don't want to be perceived as a pervert, creep or loser, do you? This is inside information, just for you.
1. Accidental Breast Touch Number 2:
Accidental Breast Touch Number 1 will be written off as an accident - provided it doesn't linger - but ABT #2 means you're just trying to cop a feel. And hope I will write it off as another "accident", or that my breast-based nerve cells and unsophisticated girl brain are not receptive to your stealthy, ninja-like boob brush. Rendering me oblivious while you get your jollies. Which isn't the case, perv.
This actually happened to me recently. While talking to a family friend at a family function, he "accidentally" touched my left breast... four times. That's right: Four. Times. Was he thinking because I didn't smack him into next Thursday that it was ok? (And the only reason I didn't was because my 17 year-old cousin was standing right there. Another sign of how unbelievably nervy and pervy this guy was.) The first one, like I said above, was written off as unintentional, a function of his enthusiastic storytelling. But after the third swipe I started to think: maybe my family needs some new friends. I know some of us cannot talk without using our hands (guilty), but remember that it might be best to keep things in close proximity when there are breasts around.
If you're looking to make a move, or gauge a girl's interest, a light touch on the shoulder or elbow is much sexier, and it won't get you labeled a degenerate.
2. Broadcasting Your Love of Playboy:
Examples: Having the Playboy logo proudly displayed anywhere on your car (or worse, on a shirt or around your neck), leaving your magazine collection sprawled out on the coffee table when you know I'm coming over, or having your computer's desktop be a shrine to the "Girls Next Door". I have no objection to you being a fan of the magazine, and hell, I like to look at pretty naked girls just as much as the next person, but how about stashing them in a drawer when you know I'll be around? Catching a peek of them in that drawer might even be a little bit sexy in my eyes - you never know. But always remember: Being surrounded by beautiful women makes a man look hot, but being surrounded by pictures of beautiful women who don't even know he exists, makes him look like a loser.
3. The Creepy Across-the-Bar Stare:
Every girl likes when a man notices her across a crowded bar, but eying me for longer than five seconds prior to striking up a conversation will just creep me out. Five seconds says you're gathering courage or the right opening line, but after six seconds it just tells me you're undressing me with your eyes, which is downright creepy. Think about it this way, boys: How many times have you had some drunk woman do this to you at a club? Sure, it can be a little ego-boosting at first, but you know damn well that after a certain amount of her staring without speaking, it gets a little weird. And you start checking to make sure your fly is up or if there beer dribbling down your chin. Maybe your man-meter says 10 seconds of staring at a woman lets her know you're interested, but the woman-meter says you'd better start taking before our clock ticks six.
4. Going to the Gym or Appearing in Public Wearing Anything Leopard/Cheetah Print, a Headband, or - Good Heavens - Those Dreaded Zubaz Pants From 1989:
You're a man. You are not allowed to own or wear these things unless you are an 80's porn star. (I'm not even going to get into the bushy mustache.) And porn stars aren't guys most women want to date. I've never looked at Ron Jeremy and thought: Mmmm, yummy. And men who try to look like him just make me sad. Men who don't have the sense to look around and realize they are the only ones wearing workout fashion from 20 years ago, make me sadder. Please, please don't be "that guy". And please, please don't come up and talk to me.
5. Bringing Up Your Sexual Escapades, or Asking About Mine, Within 24 Hours of Meeting Me:
Say you and I are having a nice first date dinner at a fancy restaurant. We've made the small talk, you've told me I look great (which is a must, by the way), and our drinks have just arrived. After taking a thoughtful sip of wine, you look deep into my eyes and say "So. Do you like it from behind or do you need to see the guy's face the whole time?"
Yes, I know by this point you guys are thinking about what sex with us would be like, and yes we're curious about you too. But you won't make it to dessert - let alone the bedroom - if you decide it should be one of our first conversations. Your best bet is to wait until we've had a few dates. but who knows, you may get lucky and I may bring it up myself sooner than you think. The key here, boys, is patience.
6. Offering to Come Home From the Grocery Store with Me to Carry and Put Away My Groceries:
Now guys, I realized that as a 5'3", 100lb woman barely able to push her overflowing cart down the grocery aisles, I look like I'm in desperate need of help. And you know what? I am. But grocery stores have staff to help me to my car, and there is absolutely no way some strange guy inviting himself into my home isn't going to come off as a weirdo. No matter how noble he thinks his intentions are. Instead, be the guy in line behind the creep, giving me an "I can't believe he said that either" look when this is all going on. That guy is my hero of the hour, he totally gets that there's a perv standing in-between us, he obviously sees the humor in this, and I like him already. As long as he doesn't offer to come home with me to put away my groceries.
7. Coming Off Like You've Never Seen a Real, Live Woman Before:
This is a classic case of a poorly executed compliment. Say you and I are standing in line next to each other at a coffee shop. You think I look gorgeous, so you look me up and down, then mutter "Wow." Although I get the point that you like how I look (which, I'm assuming, was your intention), I'm feeling around in my purse for my mace. Just in case your next line is something like, "I've seen pictures of pretty girls before, but never one in person." This is another situation where you want to be the guy in line behind the "Wow Guy", giving me a knowing look and maybe even a wink. I'm much more likely to give that guy my number in return.
What muttering some word of amazement also says to me is you don't have the social skills - or the man-stones - to actually give a girl a real compliment. Or, more chillingly, that, in your creepy little mind, you fail to realize that I am, in actuality, standing next to you, instead of just being a jpg on your computer screen, as would be the usual way you see women. - zolaar, on 10/10/2007, -1/+37Totally.
What's the point of being an old man if you can't be a *dirty* old man? - CatalystGhost, on 10/10/2007, -1/+35No no no. It's just "disapproval five". Todd does not say "high" very often.
Reference-correction five! - drmangrum, on 10/10/2007, -3/+35If a girl stands too close to me *I* should back off? Honestly, what the *****? It's a vagina, not force field.
- lisaawesome, on 10/10/2007, -3/+34I'm trying to put out more but have so far been unsuccessful in my endeavors. Could you give me some tips on how to pick up a man for some sex?
- maffiou, on 10/10/2007, -4/+33Ask him... I don't know a man that can resist that...
- CourtesyFlush, on 10/10/2007, -0/+29"you just want to check out my ass"
"Oh, I already did that long ago. Now I'm just being nice." - serpanterra, on 10/10/2007, -2/+31I think it's an Uncle's job to be creepy
- UglieJosh, on 10/10/2007, -1/+28HOLY GROPING! You can get away with 4 times, without having the police called on you? The worst that will happen is an anonymous mention in an internet article?
If you'll excuse me, I have some people to go talk to. - Mavosa, on 10/10/2007, -8/+35What an uptight bitch. I'm sorry, but girls need to realize that not all guys are obsessed with you, or that you're that special. Yeah, guys are perverts, but so are girls, and there is no excuse for either sex. I would never bother with a woman like this, and I feel sorry for any guy who bothers with any girl like that. Its all so unrealistic.
But yeah, use common sense and think for yourself. - catala99, on 10/10/2007, -21/+46Could you please store your article for later viewing?
Then in 20 years you read it again.
I am sure you will think 'How stupid I was'. And you will be glad if a man ever looks at you. - pabster, on 10/10/2007, -6/+31The word of the day is legs...let's go over to my place and SPREAD THE ***** WORD!
And for the record, I love to touch breasts. - lordtyros, on 10/10/2007, -0/+25No no no. It's "The Todd." The Todd is never referred to as Todd Quinlan.
Get It Right Five! - drmangrum, on 10/10/2007, -2/+26As I like to say, you leave meat out eventually the dogs will come sniffing.
It's not that she doesn't want attention, she just doesn't want attention from you. - darny, on 10/10/2007, -3/+26>>>*****, my last girlfriend bought me a subscription to Playboy for Christmas.
so your perverted ass would leave her alone for 5 minutes - cloudyprison, on 10/10/2007, -1/+24So basically what she is saying is the first pervert hitting on her is annoying, but the second pervert in line is okay.
-
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