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Zero Punctuation: F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate watch!

escapistmagazine.com — Zero Punctuation's latest installment, F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate.

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  • gmasterc, on 11/28/2007, -3/+20It is close to noon and Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw has released another of his prized reviews on The Escapist... Always a laugh!
    • swiftekho, on 11/29/2007, -0/+4Croshaw is going to be the back page writer for PCGamer now :D
    • themastersb, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1There's another FEAR expansion?
      • SkippyDoorknob, on 11/29/2007, -0/+3Nope, he made up the whole thing just so that he could make this video review.
  • meez, on 11/28/2007, -1/+10I must admit I was scared when it didn't show up at 5:00, luckily my weekly dosage of Yahtzee was only 15 minutes late.
  • dontaskagain, on 11/28/2007, -3/+33http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=6XSpPIBvjN4
    ZP rip off - Art of Thief review mentioned at the end
    • dontaskagain, on 11/28/2007, -0/+1*Theft
    • BenKenobi88, on 11/28/2007, -3/+6Mentioned at the end? That's what the whole video's about...it's Yahtzee's game...it's a parody.
      • dontaskagain, on 11/28/2007, -0/+42nd to last frame on the F.E.A.R review, Read it
        • BenKenobi88, on 11/29/2007, -1/+1Ah, I thought you were referring to the Youtube link when saying that...I haven't actually seen this new one yet, as I don't have sound at work here.
      • RudeAndReckless, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1haha gotta love Yahtzee

  • slegg, on 11/28/2007, -1/+88"I'm running down a corridor when the lights come down and then I'm in another different corridor, only now there's a blurry filter on my vision and I can hear what sounds like a moose being strangled in a tin bath"

    Seriously, how does he come up with these lines. Another week of waiting lies ahead of me :(
    • Unlgued, on 11/29/2007, -1/+1I just about cried laughing right there.
    • JointVenture, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1it probably takes a lot of hard work, rewrites, and PRACTICE.
    • Aldrenean, on 11/29/2007, -0/+9"Maybe you could play it while you hang around the labyrinth with Theseus because you're obviously a nonexistent creature of myth."
      That one killed me. XD
    • themastersb, on 11/29/2007, -0/+3I love Haocrtrioorn games
    • DarkSamus, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1regular square meals :D
  • aur0ra, on 11/28/2007, -0/+4I knew the the game was going to get pummeled! Although I couldn't shake the feeling that Mr Crosshaw actually liked it a bit since his intonation a verbal insults weren't as mean and ***** as they were about let's say Jericho.
  • Topher06, on 11/28/2007, -1/+20Another spot on review. I wonder if any of the game developer's out there watch his reviews and, well, you know, get a clue.
    • Idgit, on 11/28/2007, -0/+32Considering how he was invited to Valve last week, you know that some developers are definitely watching. Whether or not they are actually listening to what hes saying is another thing entirely.
      • VivaLaUndead, on 11/29/2007, -1/+2of course Valve is in the 1% of developers that he has anything descent to say about.
  • mu0p, on 11/28/2007, -0/+26Just to be fair, this was made without the original developer, monolith. Sierra still owns the IP and wanted to squeeze just a little more cash out of the franchise. Monolith is releasing total sequel next year under a different name because Sierra owns FEAR. FEAR was and is one of the more entertaining and scary shooters out there, and I can't wait for the next installment. They released FEAR multiplayer for free, and there's a ton a servers...google FEAR combat.
    • mythicflux, on 11/28/2007, -0/+2I believe the name of the sequel is Project Origin.
  • Crath, on 11/28/2007, -2/+7I need to watch more reviews by this guy...
  • zetamilk, on 11/28/2007, -0/+73He needs to do Assassins Creed.
    • emomakesmecry, on 11/28/2007, -7/+8Oh boy, I can't wait to hear what scathing commentary he would have for that terrible disappointment of a game. :)
    • ihate2reg4u, on 11/28/2007, -0/+19Preferably in the style of his review for Clive Barker's Jericho, Jade Raymond presents a Jade Raymond production of a Jade Raymond game Jade Raymond's Jade Raymond's Assassin's Creed by Jade Raymond.
    • tektalk, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1We should email him enough about that until he does, and for anyone who wants to do just that :
      yahtzee@fullyramblomatic.com
  • pagancollective, on 11/28/2007, -0/+44I wish he had a show - this quality writing would mean that it'd be one show about video games that I would actually watch.

    G4, instead of trying to cater to the X-TREME teen market, try hiring a writing staff that's more like this, less like that of X-Play.
    • kevizzy37, on 11/28/2007, -2/+7I think if G4 made Kevin Pereira and Olivia Munn continue hosting AOTS, made Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb in charge of janitorial duties and had Yahtzee Croshaw take over X-Play, they would see a tenfold increase in ratings.
      • revenge7, on 11/29/2007, -0/+8Or, they could just make it into TechTV again.
      • popfrogs, on 11/29/2007, -0/+7Damn you totally nailed it there. Also Layla Kaley (or whatever) should just stand there while water pours down the front of her shirt on every single episode. I don't want to hear her voice, ever.
    • obliviousfool, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1G4 has these heavyweight advertisers that, you know, have to sell games. They can only be so mean.
  • kevizzy37, on 11/28/2007, -1/+9I am really glad he is back from his "odyssey from the heartland of gaming" to give a rave review of F.E.A.R. Perseus Mandate.
    "I heartily recommend Perseus Mandate" - Zero Punctuation
  • ExodusC, on 11/28/2007, -24/+1***** him, I thought his reviews were supposed to be "honest" and "realistic."

    I think he's a moron for even suggesting F.E.A.R. has poor graphics.
    • BenKenobi88, on 11/28/2007, -3/+3We've found someone who cares about F.E.A.R.? Wow...
    • wabbiteh, on 11/28/2007, -0/+10He didn't say there were poor graphics, he said that once you strip away the graphics, it's a simplistic game - which he realized when he had to play the game on low settings.
    • mythicflux, on 11/28/2007, -0/+2I've seen F.E.A.R. played on a Radeon 9800 Pro. Trust me it can have incredibly ***** graphics and still be played. And considering he mentioned not being in a good financial when he played it I can see him using really sub par components.
    • DarkSamus, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1i think it's safe to spell fear without the goddamn dots@#%$#@%
  • Christbait, on 11/28/2007, -2/+6He's spot on. F.E.A.R is ***** boring with only minimal enjoyment and average graphics, but damn, it is one hell of an atmospheric game.
  • ElbridgeGerry, on 11/28/2007, -3/+9This review was the dog's bollocks.
  • sonicjosh, on 11/28/2007, -0/+30I wonder how Call of Duty 4 would go over with Yahtzee.
    • moskaudancer, on 11/28/2007, -0/+6I'd like very much to see that review.
    • SPARTACVS, on 11/28/2007, -4/+3If he was going to do it, I think he would've done it weeks ago. Not enough negative points to the game for it to be an ACTUAL review for him.
      • RobotLeAwesome, on 11/29/2007, -5/+2His reviews are based on Australian release dates, asshat.
  • hendrixlives64, on 11/28/2007, -0/+18it actually helps to have a reviewer who's harsh on the games when they make valid points and are ***** funny at the same time.
  • Shadowfox99, on 11/28/2007, -10/+2I want him 2 review Super Smash Bros Brawl when it comes out
    • lowmagnet, on 11/29/2007, -0/+3"to" is one more letter than "2", fer chrissakes.
      • MonkeyFit, on 11/29/2007, -0/+3And "for" is the same number of letters as "fer".
  • vjeko, on 11/28/2007, -6/+3Is there any game he likes?
    • Shadowfox99, on 11/28/2007, -0/+20portal...watch the orange box review
      • credence, on 11/28/2007, -0/+4Also the Paper Mario series, apparently.
    • kufu91, on 11/29/2007, -0/+8psychonauts
      • graeh, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1He doesn't just like it - he injures people who don't.
  • chubbstar, on 11/28/2007, -3/+6I hope Yahtzee rips Assassin's Creed apart some day.
  • dilibau, on 11/28/2007, -0/+4Altho I'm a big fan of the initial FEAR (which was indeed one of the masterpieces of its time when it came out) I must admit that the first expansion (Extraction Point) was a big disappointment and that Perseus Mandate is definitely the ***** expansion in the franchise. It doesn't even have a decent logic, not to mention gameplay
  • mongoloidplease, on 11/28/2007, -2/+3One of the worst games I've ever played. I remember loving the original and playing it on my geforce 6600. I played this a week after I played crysis on an 8800GT and in my mind it felt like I was playing the original half life, or maybe deus ex. Seems we've come a long way in the past two years. If you have any good memories of the original like I did I suggest you don't ruin them by playing this. Didn't really like this review until I heard the Butterfingers song at the end.
  • SilverBack101, on 11/29/2007, -1/+15Dugg for the Ghostbusters theme song. I danced.
  • mtallen, on 11/29/2007, -0/+7Every Dev I know watches his reviews and loves them. As soon as this one hit the air it went around Monolith pretty quickly, most do get sent out on the day, but as this one was Lith centric it got around very fast. And even though he is reviewing one of the VUG expansions, he really does focus on the original FEAR quite a bit. Plus he gave props to Condemned so I'm happy :)
  • novask, on 11/29/2007, -0/+2Am I the only one waiting for his Crysis and UT3 reviews? I mean, I sure hope there will be some but I'm starting to lose hope.
  • smirkypants, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1Not Yahtzee's best work. Maybe he was interrupted by the woman and the pate that he brought back with him. I mean it was fun, but it wasn't as good as his review of Halo3 or Tomb Raider.
  • rhinopig, on 11/29/2007, -0/+14Somewhat unrelated, but this made me laugh (from his trip to america here: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/print/265 ... )

    Sunday, November 18, 2007, 6:43 p.m.
    Seattle Airport Departure Lounge

    I've given Americans a lot of ***** throughout Zero Punctuation, with phrases like "cheeseburger-inhaling Yank" being thrown around and my personal image of the gun-toting cretin who unironically gargles words like "liberty" until they lose all meaning. But now I think I've undergone a change of perspective. I've eaten at some very fancy restaurants worlds away from cheeseburgers. I've rubbed shoulders with some lovely, mild-mannered people as they fired round after round into juddering paper targets. Maybe this isn't the kind of bitter snideness I'm known for, but I really think my cynicism for the United States has tempered somewhat.

    Sunday, November 18, 2007, 6:48 p.m.
    Seattle Airport Departure Lounge Burger King

    "Medium," "Large" and "King Size"? What the ***** is that? How the ***** can "Medium" be the smallest? Do you even know what the word "Medium" means? This is why you're all so fat, you bunch of road sign-shooting Yankee pillocks.
  • iakupo, on 11/29/2007, -1/+1Dugg for Butterfingers at the end, great Australian HipHop
  • OpCzar, on 11/29/2007, -0/+2Why hasn't he done Call of Duty 4, yet?
  • chokeaduck, on 11/29/2007, -0/+1I seriously want to know how this guy does this every week, and they are always good, and usually spot on. Seriously.
  • xenoploid, on 11/30/2007, -0/+1This was ok, but there are much better ones. Here are all the videos: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/edit ...
    Orange Box, Psychonauts and Console Rundown are good.
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