What is Digg?Sponsored by Double Your Dating
The "Bad Boy Way" To Meet Women Online view!
doubleyourdating.com - You don't have to be a bad boy to succeed with the ladies - but here's a lesson ANY GUY can use...
49 Comments
- Nobi-Wan, on 10/12/2007, -1/+286Instead of linking to a blog that references yet another website here is the direct source.
http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3156357 - ngmcs8203, on 10/12/2007, -2/+71WARNING: Blog spam!
Thank god we all know to look through comments for direct links these days. - rivercityjessie, on 10/12/2007, -3/+66
10. Germany Hates Videogames
First Dead Rising wasn't allowed to be published there, then Gears of War, and now the Hasselhof-loving nation is drafting up legislation that would impose jail time for playing certain games. Even worse, the makers of Crysis are probably going to flee the country so they can continue making their damn games. Which is why Germany remains a glorious rainbow happyland completely free of violence and social problems where the streets are paved with chocolate-covered gold. Yeah.
9. Kutaragi Thinks PS3 is Too Cheap
It was just one more quote for the enormous heap of insanity that poured out of Kutaragi's mouth this last year, but it was the one most likely to make rational human beings blow a circuit. Apparently it's not enough that we should want to "work more hours to buy one." We should have had to pick up second and third jobs, or maybe sell some organs. You don't really need two of all that stuff. For an eyeball, kidney, and testicle combo-deal you might just be playing Resistance tonight.
"Is it not nonsense to compare the charge for dinner at the company cafeteria with dinner at a fine restaurant?" I think I remember hearing almost that same line a few years ago. Except they were trying to sell Atari Jaguars by comparing them to filet mignon. Yeah, it went over like a fart in church back then, too.
8. Legislation to Have ESRB Actually Play Games
Like a ridiculous game of legislative whack-a-mole, HR 5912, affectionately referred to as the "Truth in Video Game Rating Act," just kept popping its damn head up. Ideally, the act would force third-party agencies (like the ESRB) to fully complete a game before a rating can be awarded. It almost sounds kind-of-sort-of-possibly-maybe-reasonable on the surface, but you tell me how they're supposed to play an open-ended game like say, Oblivion, or perish the thought, an MMO "to completion." Opportunistic senator Sam Brownback, most recently caught pushing the thing, talks about games like they need to be rewound when you're done. So far we've been lucky enough to see it repeatedly smacked down, but so long as we're cursed with legislators so fundamentally ignorant of the medium (and so eager to look like they're doing something about the latest, greatest scapegoat since D&D) it may be a while before we've seen the act's empty, bloodied head for the last time.
7. Fox Says PSP Leads to Porn, Bomb Assembly
Everything is wired these days. At this point it'd probably be faster to list off the household appliances that are actually incapable of accessing the internet. I'm pretty sure my toilet can't, but I saw a few in Japan that looked about one step away from becoming self aware and taking over the country in a bloody, rose-scented coup. And that's all fine. But when you take a video game console (which, like it or not, are still firmly categorized as children's toys in the minds of some elderly bastards who won't die fast enough) and stick a web browser in it, well, you'd better duck, because the ***** is about to fly. Have you seen this netterweb thing? There's porn on there! Violence! Hate! Sexual predators! Sweet hemorrhaging Christ, won't someone think of the children?
Like, you know, maybe their parents? People like the mother in the report who vehemently declares that "If it's supposed to be made for kids then you shouldn't be able to get access to this stuff!" Which ignores the inconvenient fact that the evil thing isn't made just for kids, and that they wouldn't be able to get access to anything if she could be bothered to learn how to set the parental controls. Which is an option the report eventually pays lip service to without actually explaining, while also trivializing it as "not nearly as important" as fostering a child's self esteem. Aww!
6. 3DRealms Plans Duke Nukem Forever 2
No, you didn't miss the release of the original, persistently nonexistent Duke Nukem Forever, though that was the first thing that went through my head, too. Duke Nukem Forever, in case you were born sometime after it was first announced (it's totally possible that such individuals are old enough to be reading this now,) was the victim of a convoluted series of events that eventually culminated in Wired News creating the "Vaporware Lifetime Achievement Award" for it just so the game would stop topping its vaporware awards list every damn year. 3D Realms CEO Scott Miller nevertheless announced that they plan on a making sequel, no doubt to arrive at some point immediately preceding the heat death of the universe.
5. E3 Cancelled
Early reports of the event's death turned out to be slightly exaggerated, but E3 2007 definitely won't be the same insane nonsense we've come to love and/or dread each year. Call it a tragedy, a relief, a sign that the industry is growing up, or that it might be on the rocks. The one thing we can agree on is that it was one hell of a surprise. Personally, I chose to call it an early birthday present. Maybe someone will miss the annual joy of stepping over sweaty fatbeards buried under mountains of shwag, passed-out on way to having pictures taken standing next to vacuous women in hotpants. I like to think that all the time and money blown on explosions, skydivers, sex and loot might be better spent on making videogames that don't suck.
4. Wii Straps Recalled
We've been throwing game controllers since about two seconds after we first got our hands on one, but for some reason slippery idiots flinging Wiimotes through their plasma screens became one of the big stories of the holiday season. To hear mainstream news reports, delivered with the kind of gravity that should be reserved for an Ebola outbreak, Wii controllers are part of an insidious oriental plot to murder your children with toys. One Fox outlet even included some images from our Wiinjuries feature, noting that they were "apparently" a parody. If these guys pass for journalists then I hereby abdicate any claim to the title. "Guy who plays videogames and writes about them" carries a lot more respectability at this point.
3. Sony Caught Trying to Be Cool
The worst part is that we have to clarify which time. The bubble-wrapped bus stations? The PSP graffiti art gracing our cities? Nah, we were talking about the time that Sony decided to hire marketing firm Zipatoni to produce a fictitious blog showcasing the trials and tribulations of a couple of adult-age gamers as they labored to convince their friend's mom to buy him a PSP for Christmas. Chock full of painfully awkward slang, the whole thing peaked with a horrendously embarrassing hip-hop video that as much as we'd like to we just can't un-watch.
It was one of the most horrifically transparent examples of the art, and once outed by Penny Arcade the entire internet cut the damn thing into little pieces, burned them, stomped them, stirred them in the dirt, and then burned the dirt. Unfortunately, guerrilla marketers are like cockroaches. If you catch one, you know there are hundreds more hiding in the walls...
2. Subway Guy Blames Nintendo for His Obesity
Professional weight loser Jered Fogel offered an explanation for his previous fat bastardry, claiming that the true cause wasn't just that he ate too much junk food, but that he ate too much junk food while he was playing too much Nintendo. "I usually had one hand on the controller and one in a bag of chips." His parents ineffectually tried to halt his swelling, not by wresting the chips from his pudgy little fingers, but by restricting his videogame time. Fortunately for his future career as a former fat guy, it didn't work.
Far be it from me to suggest that his weight gain had anything to do with his lack of self control or his parents' lack of fortitude and foresight. After all, if there's one thing we've learned this year it's that we shouldn't have to worry about personal accountability when we have those evil bastard videogames driving us relentlessly toward all seven deadly sins simultaneously. At least I'll finally be able to sleep soundly at night knowing that it wasn't my fault when I killed that hooker while eating a variety pack of stolen Doritos.
1. Nintendo... Wii?
It was one of those defining moments in history. The kind of thing you'll always remember, like where you were when the Challenger blew up, on 9/11, or when Kennedy was shot. Where were you when you first heard the "Revolution" was going to be called "Wii?" EIC Sam Kennedy was flying back from a press event and couldn't be convinced that we weren't pulling some kind of joke on him that morning when we called with the news. Hell, we half suspected that Nintendo themselves were making a gag at our expense. Right up to their E3 press conference we fully expected Miyamoto to come down a slide screaming "Wheeeeeeeee!" before Reggie would run across the stage making pistol fingers at the audience while shouting "You got punked!"
Even now we still can't help but feel that Nintendo is secretly laughing at us every time we say it. And somehow, that's better than the alternative: that until someone makes a bit of software that'll check product names in the language of every country they'll be exported to, we'll just have to go on living in a world where the Japanese keep naming their computers with cute words we've made up for our dicks. - TaeK, on 10/12/2007, -0/+43EDIT: "Funniest thing I've seen on 1UP in a long while."
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+33I hate click through digg *****.
"HAY GUYS LOOK AT THIS < click here >"
next page
"HAY GUYS LOOK AT THIS < click here >" - CanadianGeese, on 10/12/2007, -7/+29I think Sony's entire E3 press conference should be squeezed into that list.
One of the biggest shocks for me was the first time I saw that $600 price tag. Or what about those giant enemy crabs, missing tech specs, real time weapon change, or "Riiiiidge Raaacer"? - ngmcs8203, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15I don't know what was funnier... the Duke Nukem Forever 2 reference or that image and this line... "Hell, we half suspected that Nintendo themselves were making a gag at our expense. Right up to their E3 press conference we fully expected Miyamoto to come down a slide screaming "Wheeeeeeeee!" before Reggie would run across the stage making pistol fingers at the audience while shouting "You got punked!""
- feaks, on 10/12/2007, -6/+20direct link to the 1UP article : http://www.1up.com/do/feature?cId=3156357
- Muncher, on 10/12/2007, -5/+19I still don't like the name, but I've become numb to how stupid it is. It doesn't send chills down my spine anymore.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -5/+19The Wii will never stop being a terrible name. People simply stopped giving a ***** about it, and it's no longer worth complaining about because it will never be changed anyway.
- Rocketbird, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13I farted in church once. I was 8. It slipped. It made a really high-pitched squeal.
- h0ward, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10dugg for Brian Fellows
- spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11Shrug. I found it very interesting to hear about the data bus pathways and BDROM specs. I'm not joking at all. Games are serious business.
I hate Sony for their DRM and other various shenanigans, but they know how to host a tech convention keynote better than anyone else in the industry.
p.s., I dugg up VeganG for calling me a powerpoint nerd :D - Aaronichi, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10Dugg down blog spam
Dugg up original content - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10"We'll just have to go on living in a world where the Japanese keep naming their computers with cute words we've made up for our dicks."
Comedy gold, Jerry! - KnockoutNerd, on 10/12/2007, -4/+13i remember where i was when i found out the revolution was now the wii i was in school and on digg and i yelled COME ON NINTENDO but now it grew on me
- Barr08, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10Joystiq is blocked at work, could someone list them?
Thanks - VeganG, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11@spyrochaete
Pie charts are fascinating? Are you some kind of Powerpoint nerd? - pronouncable, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8No, they didn't. It's of the Revolution getting named the Wii.
- finnishgeek, on 10/12/2007, -6/+14"4. Wii Straps Recalled"
Umm.. the Wii straps were never recalled. Nintendo set up a voluntary Wii strap replacement program. - pronouncable, on 10/12/2007, -3/+10Consoles != Games.
- 3dom, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4The fake Sony blog/fiasco referred to in the article in the article is now mirrored at www.alliwantforxmasisapspflog.com
Be sure to check out the embedded "hip-hop" video. I'm pretty sure I've never seen piss poor marketing as bad as this before. - jedikd, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6Funny stuff, but from 1up, not joystiq. Marked as inaccurate
- joshposh, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3It should be forbidden on digg to link to the source via a blog... this damn blog has more ads than content!
- mweflen, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Blog spammers should be buried in real spam and have to eat their way out.
- faz9, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3No. They compared the announcement of the name "wii" to 9/11
- dmsean, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5you were looking at the wii and yelled "come on nintendo"
hehe - fnaqzna, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Blog spam. No digg.
- pevensen, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3I wish people would stop linking to blogs!
- ByteGuerilla, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5haha. I don't know about you guys, but I think spyrochaete is being sarcastic. At least I hope he is. If not, then I don't know what E3 stream he was watching -_-
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4It needs Lik-sang being closed down by Sony on there
- avengerx12, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2"And somehow, that's better than the alternative: that until someone makes a bit of software that'll check product names in the language of every country they'll be exported to, we'll just have to go on living in a world where the Japanese keep naming their computers with cute words we've made up for our dicks."
And I thought I was the only one that noticed this. I'm still laughing at the last line, I'm glad I read the whole thing. - julienbh, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3"Funniest thing I've seen on Joystiq in a long while"
Maybe it's because it's not from Joystiq??? - IHaveIssues, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2That Mario pic is pretty funny.
- cheez, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2brian fellows, brian fellows, brian fellows
safari planet! - kai05yang, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1my vote goes here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pJElsNaC6yQ
- adml_shake, on 10/12/2007, -1/+21 and 9 should be switch, or 9 should have been higher anyway. Out of that whole list the ps3 is to cheap thing was the biggest jaw dropper for me.
- starquake, on 10/12/2007, -3/+4Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
- MadNuke, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2"the Japanese keep naming their computers with cute words we've made up for our dicks"
...
ROTFLMFAO. - burstaneurysm, on 10/12/2007, -3/+4"Yeah, it went over like a fart in church back then, too." I love that phrase.
- GutshotJimmy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Alright, Ron Jeremy posing as Mario was a ***** brilliant photo (summing up "7. Fox Says PSP Leads to Porn, Bomb Assembly")
- howrare, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2original site was taken down, mirror here:
http://consumerist.com:8045/pspflog/www.alliwantforxmasisapsp.com/blog/default.html - lingyai, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Wii is clearly a brilliant choice for the name. How many play on words are there for the name, like a million. Revolution was a name an adult would use will trying to be cool.
- mikeazorin, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2What is the link to the fake sony blog?
- caddyalan, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2I think the name Wii is meant to further establish the system's audience. It might be a subtle way of saying "not for hardcore gamers." Maybe.
- everhope, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1I loved number 9 when it said: "For an eyeball, kidney, and testicle combo-deal you might just be playing Resistance tonight." Number 9 was probably one of my favorites.
- SAOSiN, on 10/12/2007, -4/+3http://www.1up.com/media?id=3162271
lol - spyrochaete, on 10/12/2007, -16/+6One thing Sony does consistently well is their E3 keynote. I cringe when I watch Microsoft's marketing-laden honeydripping, and Nintendo's is passable. Sony, however, always gets right down to nitty gritty with in-depth technical details of their upcoming hardware. I downloaded all 3 companies' E3 keynotes but Sony's was the only one I could stomach for the entire 2 hours. It was really fascinating stuff, as always.
Here's a torrent to their E3 2006 press conference, though I don't know how well seeded it will be anymore:
http://torrentspy.com/torrent/730399/GM_Realm_E3_2006_Sony_Press_Conference_HDTV_1280x720
© Digg Inc. 2009
— Content created and posted by Digg users is