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- warnerrr, on 10/12/2007, -0/+23Yes, I know, this HAS been submitted a couple of previous times, but neither successfully made front page, and this is definitely a great list, so I hope it gets dugg so everyone can laugh aloud to their favorite cliche.
- Flummoxer, on 10/12/2007, -1/+22@sleepy2k16onaim
Nah, I'll just block you instead. - kakwakas, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15^ The entire page typed out in case the page gets hit by the digg effect (so you scrollers-by know without expanding the whole thing). Please don't digg him above/below -5.
- Managore, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11It's also kind of fun to expand/contract/expand/contract his comment and watch the web browser sidebar move around... Maybe I need to get out more
- Psykaze, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11Pure hillarious genius!
- consonance, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12@sleepy2k16onaim
I'm going to call your mom and tell her to restrict your computer privileges until after dinner. - rockforever, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10I have to say reading that list, Earthbound comes to mind. Because it breaks almost NONE of those rules. Just another reason why that game is SOOO great.
- miggz06, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Did anyone else read the entire list or is just me who doesnt have a life?
- Methodius, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8It came as almost a sort of welcome relief when people started bitching about that in KOTOR.
I waltzed into the guy's apartment, grabbed the Gammorean Battle-Axe that inexplicably fit into the fanny pack sitting on the floor, along with about 100 credits, was waltzing out, when the guy started yelling and I got a Dark Side shift. And I was thinking, wow, I never really thought of this as theft before.
You play these console rpgs for years and years, and then one day it hits you: This is other people's stuff your picking up. This is stealing. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7this is the best:
And no matter how big that big-ass sword is, you won't stand out in a crowd. Nobody ever crosses the street to avoid you or seems to be especially shocked or alarmed when a heavily armed gang bursts into their house during dinner, rummages through their posessions, and demands to know if they've seen a black-caped man. People can get used to anything, apparently. - Aceanuu, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7I'm definitely joining this "block the tards" club here...
Yeah, I've still got this favorited on my old 98 laptop... its old, but still brilliant. - JimMayJr, on 08/06/2009, -1/+6Hilarious, and so true. I think the goal for a game developer should be to make a game that never once falls under any of these clichés. I'm going to start checking this list often while writing the stories for games I design.
- CasualNinja, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5This list makes me want to go back and play FF7 again!
- spiffyfitz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5The person who wrote this forgot to mention The Law of Inevitable Slime Monsters.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6seems like he wrote it for ff7
"There's always a fire dungeon, an ice dungeon, a sewer maze, a misty forest, a derelict ghost ship, a mine, a glowing crystal maze, an ancient temple full of traps, a magic floating castle, and a technological dungeon."
all there (except floating magic castle)
"Single Parent Rule" yep
""No! My beloved peasant village!"" roger that
The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God (Cloud Rule)- nuff said
oh and block sleepy2k, we dont want people spamming digg - Daveecee, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Wow, after reading the first eight I found... Eight that apply to Chrono Trigger.
Whatever, still an awesome game. - Wuffles, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Ah RPG clichés, where would we be now without you? :'D
- decipherd, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion... Xbox 360?
- NSMike, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Hey! Who leaked the plotline guide to Final Fantasy?! Square won't be happy about this...
- RJNavarrete, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Damn, I love me some Chrono Trigger. :] This list is awesome. I'm actually bored enough to read through the whole thing.
- muka3d, on 10/12/2007, -0/+324. Capitalism Is A Harsh Mistress
Once you sell something to a shopkeeper, he instantly sells it to somebody else and you will never see the item again no matter what. - kakwakas, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3I like how most of these are named after Squenix games/characters. The KINGS of cliche RPG's.
- DJCult, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3God damn I hate you, sleepy. I do love this list, however. I'm going to play Final Fantasy Adventure RIGHT NOW.
- mbthompson, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I almost don't want to read this since I'm afraid one of the games I play is going to be on it. Maybe ignorance is bliss in this situation.
- NSMike, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2It's a generalization, not really about any specific game. Kind-of a list of common happenstances or circumstances in all RPGs.
- anotherjeff, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2i think number 37 would be the biggest cliche in any rpg.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+4Good list, pretty funny. But the title should have added "Japanese RPGs". Most of these don't apply in Western RPGs.
- Rodahue, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Just amazing. Nothing else.
- slogan, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1@camilos
This is true for both of the Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic games too. - mrRB, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1http://www.lawsofanime.com/
- Urusai, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3"Garrett's Principle" -- Cool, a Thief fan.
Console RPGs FTL. - capiCrimm, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2@rockforever
agreed. Earthbound is the greatest game in the world. However, I'm personally straining to apply the rules to it. Maybe a quarter of the rules apply?
... goes off to find Earthbound ROM. - nundeeram, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2A rule they may have left out:
The Hoarding Rule:
During the course of your quest, you will receive a number of items in large quantities. You will end up using only a few of those items, thinking you will always need them at a later time, and end the game with a massive supply of items that you saved for a battle that never came. - jus1haz2, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2OMFG! Thats it im making a myspace, adding this fag and putting a flash redirect to goatse in his comments...!!! He has been spamming digg for the las 3 hours under diffrent un!
- rafakiwi, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2There is one RPG that doesn't fall under the most of this rules; The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion
- LadyJ27, on 02/21/2008, -0/+1Good point. But she was in love with him at the time, even though that love eventually matured into a sisterly-type love.
Nice catch regardless - duality, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1This one is my favorite:
"All legends are 100% accurate. All rumors are entirely factual. All prophecies will come true, and not just someday but almost immediately."
Then there's this little gem:
"Defeating a dungeon's boss creature will frequently cause the dungeon to collapse, which is nonsensical but does make for thrilling escape scenes."
Ironically, the easiest and most realistic way of doing this would be to make the boss explode in a spectacular shockwave or inferno when it dies, but I've never seen a game where the developers managed to think of this. I guess it would trigger various other rules about survival and general luck.
However, this one is a little strange:
"If any character in the game ever meets any other character standing alone at night looking at the moon, those two will eventually fall in love."
The first thing I thought of was the scene with Squall and Quistis near the beginning of FF8. However, they may not have been able to see the moon from where they were standing, so it might not violate this rule. - daGUY, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1#14 is genius:
"Let's not mince words: you're a thief. You can walk into just about anybody's house like the door wasn't even locked. You just barge right in and start looking for stuff. Anything you can find that's not nailed down is yours to keep. You will often walk into perfect strangers' houses, lift their precious artifacts, and then chat with them like you were old neighbors as you head back out with their family heirlooms under your arm. Unfortunately, this never works in stores."
Completely 100% true! - Kwipper, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Please tell me there is a list like this for Anime. I need to come up with things to bitch about it.
- njaeanna, on 10/12/2007, -2/+3LOL, I recognised a few of these, good stuff.
- theHuman, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I love the fact that this topic was so important it required a 192-entry long list to be fully realized.
- JrGhoull, on 10/12/2007, -4/+4granted its a PC not console game...but if anyone wants to play an absolutely terrifc PC rpg, try "fallout 2" it took me literally a year or 2 to beat the game simply because i enjoyed all the various repeatable mini quests so much, and actually started a new game a couple of times, simply to replay all the missions that i had already completed.
- Jesusfreaks, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0SWEET!!!!!
- superlolz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Lol, it's a good read, nice 1:33AM bed time story. :D
- danielsan1701, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1I liked it better the first time... when it was called Kingdom of Loathing
- Guru, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Funny stuff.
- jwecker, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1The site was referring to console games, but I also couldn't help but think of some amazing RPGs that hit almost none of the cliches. Nethack and Slashem, baby.
- JayCruz, on 10/12/2007, -6/+2#102 Perversity Rule... It made me giggle.
- DarkPilot, on 10/12/2007, -6/+1That list, though a little old is still funny.
And if you liked those, you may also like "925 Things Mr. Whelch is no longer allowed to do in an RPG": http://theglen.livejournal.com/16735.html - eN1X, on 10/12/2007, -9/+2When I first read this, I thought it said GLITCHES.
I clicked on the link and found out that it says CLICHES.....then the suck came. -
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