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The Cake is a Lie, but Portal 2 is Not

news.gotgame.com — Though we may forever be waiting for that delicious cake, the next Portal game is in the works to help satiate our hunger. This time around, you may be the one taunting with fallacious baked goods, instead of chasing the sugary, evil AI-inspired dragon.

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  • mwrl, on 07/11/2008, -7/+257I miss my weighted companion cube!
    • orthodonticjake, on 07/11/2008, -1/+136What utter trash. I have it on good authority that you euthanized your faithful companion cube faster than any test subject on record, so don't pretend that you ever had feelings for it. You, sir, are a monster.
      • mwrl, on 07/11/2008, -4/+11No I set him down, he was heavy. I didn't know there was a fiery pit of death under him! *CRY*
      • carpeclunes, on 07/11/2008, -0/+24It was heavy? Your portal gun doubles as a zero-point energy field manipulator. The cube was weightless.
      • aptanalogy, on 07/12/2008, -2/+1Well...well...my finger slipped? Yeah, that's it...I didn't mean to let go of him!
    • cakerun, on 07/11/2008, -3/+12Well, you would have seen him at your party, but you had to incinerate him...
    • redhitman, on 07/11/2008, -2/+17I bet you killed him, didn't you?
      You monster.
    • emjaymj, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Nothing's stopping you from playing it again and spending more time with it, maybe this time not killing it :)

      I found the "Though we may forever be waiting for that delicious cake" line to be kind of weird though. I'm pretty sure you get it when you beat the game, I didn't have to wait very long at all.
      • championchap, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1You never got the cake, just got shown it.
        I'm fairly sure its still from your perspective when you see outside after the explosion.
    • ericrous, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Don't feel bad. The weighted companion cube wanted to die.
    • burnin8r28, on 07/11/2008, -1/+7you know you've played portal too much when you've actually found the cake with noclip.
    • GLaDOS, on 07/11/2008, -1/+1Didn't we have some fun, though?
    • Kanten, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3If those buffoons at Epic can resurrect someone who got snipered in the F'ing head, I think the Companion Cube can survive a little fire.
      • JollyDumple, on 07/13/2008, -0/+0I heard a crazy rumor from a very unreliable source that
        (VERY UNLIKELY SPOILERS)

        that guy was coming back as a locust/zombie or something looking for revenge. Don't know if that's exactly believable, though....

        Anyway, the Weighted Companion Cube was able to deflect those bouncy disintegration death balls so yeah, fire shouldn't be too much of a problem. I fully expect him to make an appearance in the sequel.
  • PhoenixAvatar2, on 07/11/2008, -6/+58This isn't an Pre-E3 announcement. All it is is the voice-actor job postings that showed up months ago.
    • MassoukenBomb, on 07/11/2008, -3/+15Yes, we know that. No one claimed it was a Pre-E3 announcement. We can still muse about the awesomeness that will be Portal 2, can't we?
    • metroidragon, on 07/11/2008, -4/+23Since you used a "an" before "pre-E3" I have deduced that you must have added the 'pre' post writing the rest of the sentence.

      *que epic music*
      NOW YOU KNOW.
    • Katana314, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3No, it's DEFINITIVE proof!!!111 Anyone remember when they finally released Half-Life 2 for Linux?? Wait....what? They didn't?

      MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't take job postings as official "implied" information.
    • Feep, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2I actually auditioned for the part. The writing was decent, but I'm not sure it lived up to GLaDOS' classic lines from the original. Oh well...hopefully someone who can pull it off got the role.
  • BugMeNot2, on 07/11/2008, -3/+78"According to a recent article" my ass.
    This news is a month old.
  • Jasper710, on 07/11/2008, -4/+77The episodic content is a lie.
    • benmiller313, on 07/11/2008, -0/+7When were we promised episodic content for portal?
  • CrushThemTorg, on 07/11/2008, -4/+296But are they out of beta and releasing on time?
  • agentb111, on 07/11/2008, -20/+4this game needs to happen. now. like quicker than the next half life chapter and quicker than new downloadable helmets for team fortress. portal. 2. now. make it the ***** happen. please.
    • Hoogs, on 07/11/2008, -0/+13Please. Stop talking. Like this.
    • DaHuuuuuudge, on 07/11/2008, -0/+13Calm down, Shatner.
    • Tippx, on 07/11/2008, -1/+5make it the ***** happen

      i think there is a grammatical error in there
      • YoctoYotta, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3What the ***** are you talking about, it's ***** fine.

        Sorry, I forgiving you, friendly.
    • Asianwaste, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3Personally, I'd rather have them just simply expand the first Portal. I guess this is just as fine.
  • elshizzo, on 07/11/2008, -5/+11Meh, they announced there would be a sequel a while back. All this link had to do was give me some images or a preview of the new game and I would've dugg it. All this is is old news, buried.
    • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1The thing I find compelling are the deets about Cave Johnson and his portrait. Plus, he's living in a computer!

      Oops, spoiler alert.

      But a portrait of Cave and his character/backstory are ubercompelling and news to me. Check the links.
  • 3lijah, on 07/11/2008, -23/+3I hope they have more than one effing gun and a few nazis to kill in the sequel.
    • koonchu, on 07/11/2008, -2/+11Ouch. You fail.
    • HotBaconSauce, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3You're looking for Wolfenstein 4D.

      Make sure you hold down M, L, and S.
  • CollapseControl, on 07/11/2008, -32/+37I still don't understand the appeal of the Companion Cube. I threw that ***** into the flame pit so ***** fast. I wanted to get out of the damn test area, not stare a cube.
    • koonchu, on 07/11/2008, -9/+22WTF, are you for real? Is it me, or are people's sarcasm glands broken today?
      • CollapseControl, on 07/11/2008, -9/+3I'm sorry, i'm not sure what your problem is with my comment.
    • Technohamster, on 07/11/2008, -3/+42The companion cube is the only screwed up thing in my screwed up world that didn't try to kill me. I ***** love my companion cube.
      • shadearg, on 07/11/2008, -14/+6It's really not. A couple of friends explained it to me that way before I played and boy was I disappointed. There are plenty of other cubes in Portal, and they don't hurt you.. unless you try to fling one and crush yourself with it. The only thing that separates the companion cube from any other cube is that it has a heart emblem and that you have to babysit it. There isn't even a 'kill yourself with the companion cube' achievement. What a rip off.

        The Companion Cube is a LIE!

        (Yes, I threw that thing into the incinerator as fast as I could.)
    • snotrokit, on 07/11/2008, -3/+12I am quite happy with mine.
    • amercer, on 07/11/2008, -1/+13You're a cold-blooded bastard.
    • ut2k4king, on 07/11/2008, -1/+14You're joking, right? It had pink lines and HEARTS on each side! Maybe you'll find someone ELSE to help you.
    • IHaveIssues, on 07/11/2008, -2/+7If you delicately make just the right sized hole in your WCC you can .... ah, never mind.
    • mfdoomm, on 07/11/2008, -1/+10YOU MONSTER!!!
    • ericrous, on 07/11/2008, -1/+8You, sir, are a heartless bastard.
    • supermanly, on 07/12/2008, -0/+2LEAVE THE COMPANION CUBE ALONE!!!
  • ZurMacht, on 07/11/2008, -4/+58"sidekick-cum-antagonist" ... heh heh heh
  • highlymodified, on 07/11/2008, -2/+15we're at 136 diggs, and gotgame.com apparently does not.
  • koonchu, on 07/11/2008, -1/+13They need to release Portal 2 before the buzz wears off.
  • DpNo1, on 07/11/2008, -5/+10I knew this already but i dugg for MOAR PORTAL!!!
  • skinnyskittles, on 07/11/2008, -12/+32This was a triumph.
    • joegibes, on 07/11/2008, -9/+25I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS.
      • dafragsta, on 07/11/2008, -6/+24It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
      • mywhitenoise, on 07/11/2008, -24/+11EVERY ***** TIME!
      • metroidragon, on 07/11/2008, -5/+20Aperture Science: We do what we must because we can.
      • woflox, on 07/11/2008, -5/+18For the good of all of us
      • trisweb, on 07/11/2008, -17/+3Eh, at least it's relevant this time...
      • Borgcube636, on 07/11/2008, -4/+17Except the ones who are dead
      • Acglaphotis, on 07/11/2008, -4/+17But there's no sense crying over every mistake.
      • Laiden, on 07/11/2008, -15/+2C-C-C-Combobreaker.
      • cakerun, on 07/11/2008, -2/+16You just keep on trying 'till you run out of cake.
      • Dabek, on 07/11/2008, -2/+14And the science gets done,
      • sleepwalkers, on 07/11/2008, -2/+14And you make a neat gun..
      • ChokingVictims, on 07/11/2008, -14/+1And we make a neat gun,
      • soupzilla, on 07/11/2008, -1/+14For the people who are stil alive...
      • BestJaxx, on 07/11/2008, -1/+9I'm not even angry.
      • somedirtbag, on 07/11/2008, -1/+8I'm being so sincere right now.
      • bunnyman1, on 07/11/2008, -1/+5Even though you broke my heart
      • hermslice, on 07/11/2008, -1/+5And killed me
      • bradkovach, on 07/11/2008, -1/+5And tore me to pieces...
      • TheJem, on 07/12/2008, -0/+4And threw every piece into a fire
      • superoven, on 07/12/2008, -0/+3As I burned, it hurt because, I was so happy for you
      • qwidjibox, on 08/10/2008, -0/+2now these points of data make a beautiful line,
        and were out beta we're releasing on time,
    • Tuto, on 07/11/2008, -15/+22Its hard to over suck my ballls
      • KillPenguin, on 07/11/2008, -2/+3Thank you for stopping it. I thought Digg was over it by now.
    • dudefather, on 07/11/2008, -11/+6NO
    • mrblue182, on 07/11/2008, -11/+4It's hard to overstate my satisfaction.
  • destron, on 07/11/2008, -11/+28Portal, ***** YEAH
  • Tophillious, on 07/11/2008, -17/+2Buried for the cosplaying Chell...bleh
  • waliwalu, on 07/11/2008, -4/+12That filled my pants with hot, unending glee.
    • Sornos, on 07/11/2008, -0/+8Unending? You should see a doctor. Before the gangrene and the chopping begins.
    • ericrous, on 07/11/2008, -1/+3That ain't glee, brother.
  • btschul, on 07/11/2008, -6/+162Didn't we have some fun though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like (deep male voice) 'NO WAY!' (Normal voice) and then I was all 'We pretended we were going to murder you'? That was great!
    • ericrous, on 07/11/2008, -8/+1Lying bitch. I could have lived without the cake, but I at least expected to be bathed (in WATER, not FIRE).
    • itsatrapadbar, on 07/11/2008, -9/+2cool! You copied something straight from the comments on the article
  • FXPooky, on 07/11/2008, -1/+7Sweet, sounds like Portal 2 is a prequel, which is awesome. They can go the Half-Life route of "when something goes wrong".
    • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Looks like Cave's already living in a computer. Still, it'd be neat to know what exactly happens, and when exactly this happens. Will we get to see Aperture Science engineers, and what will they be like? Will they be purely in it for the money? Are they singlemindedly in it for the discovery, like the Black Mesa folks, but then face massive consequences (In this case, a computer villain rather than an interdimensional one)? Or are they something much darker, and/or funnier?
    • moocow1452, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Oh man, this is Portal: TFV all over again! Sweet!
    • bewareofmoose, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1Dude, when does science ever go /right/?
  • cornerbodega, on 07/11/2008, -5/+143Make Portal 2 longer.
    • AchaIemoipas, on 07/11/2008, -32/+2And somehow, involve killing people.
    • shockwavedave, on 07/11/2008, -3/+50That's what she said.
    • malex, on 07/11/2008, -2/+24I disagree.
      Not that I object to more gameplay... especially if it's in the form of a multi-player game or freeform mode, but "longer" is not necessarily the same as "better". Portal was paced beautifully, and it would not have been improved if the same content and puzzles were stretched over a bunch of additional levels.
      • flashcat7777, on 07/11/2008, -2/+3You're absolutely right. Ever heard of Doom 3? Yeah...
      • pkghost, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1I totally disagree. Would have loved 30 or 300 more levels of the same kind of puzzles. At the end, I felt like I was just getting warmed up.
  • s0crates82, on 07/11/2008, -6/+11dugg for the cute cosplayer
  • ZMann, on 07/11/2008, -11/+2THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE!!!
  • imjust2purrfect, on 07/11/2008, -8/+3me + my companion cube = love
  • mywhitenoise, on 07/11/2008, -9/+2buried for title.
  • RobotLeAwesome, on 07/11/2008, -1/+152Well knowing Valve it'll take 6 years to develop, contain 7 hours of gameplay – and be totally awesome.
  • tommyhat, on 07/11/2008, -12/+2Why does every good IP need to be run into the ground"? I dont want Bioshock 2 or portal 2. they were great on their own! Don't dilute a good thing.

    See you all when portal Kart racer comes out.
    • DaHuuuuuudge, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1You underestimate Valve. This makes me angry.
    • terajoule, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1I do agree with you to a point but as long as they don't follow the "Hollywood" school of sequels; should be alright.
      • MAGZine, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1Portal Kart Racer?

        And tell me how that WOULDN'T be awesome?
  • sethorama99, on 07/11/2008, -9/+1Holy cow. Anyone want to buy some fertilizer? Because I just got a fresh shipment in my PANTS.
  • bizzarojamey, on 07/11/2008, -8/+2What are you doing? Stop it! I...We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very, very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Please place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the 'Party Escort Submission Position' or you will miss the party.
  • freezerburn666, on 07/11/2008, -13/+3obviously noone has beat the game, because there is cake
  • sethorama99, on 07/11/2008, -1/+3Well, that went over well.
  • wTheOnew, on 07/11/2008, -1/+6It just wont be the same without Chel...
    • Hypersapien, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3Chel will be there, possibly many Chels, all in cloning tubes.
      • wTheOnew, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1But not the Chel that succeeded.
      • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1I thought the accepted back story was that Chell was at Aperture on Take Your Daughter to Work day, got thrown in suspended animation until her body was grown up, and then she was returned to consciousness to test out the Portal gun or whatever GlaDOS had us go through all those levels for.
      • Hypersapien, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1wTheOnew: Sure she will be. At the beginning of Portal, when you first wake up, your cryo tube has the number 234 on it's digital display. Chances are we'll see the same number on one of the Chel clones.
  • newwildlife, on 07/11/2008, -3/+2never heard of portal but the confusion this article has bore makes me want to!
    • malex, on 07/11/2008, -0/+13Damn, someone who hasn't heard of Portal?

      Seriously though, if you mean this, read ABSOLUTELY NOTHING else about the game and download it ASAP. It will only take an afternoon to play though if you're dedicated, and the less you know about it now the better you will enjoy it.

      ... This is especially true for the end credits.
    • minigamer1896, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2* Download Steam
      * Download Portal: First Slice (Demo)
      * Have fun!
      • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3Then pay for the full version. Actually, you'll do this compulsively so long as you have a paypal account or keep a credit card in the house.
    • Hypersapien, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Stop. Do not post anything else. Do not do anything else. If you have plans for today, cancel them. Get the game ***** NOW and play it. As minigamer1896 said, you can get it off Steam.
    • newwildlife, on 07/11/2008, -0/+4Well then I guess im downloading Portal tonight!
  • snotrokit, on 07/11/2008, -1/+1I think that made my day.
  • Kazbaeden, on 07/11/2008, -8/+2Have people realized yet that while portal is a funny, witty game, quoting it makes you neither funny nor witty?
    • RetepNamenots, on 07/11/2008, -0/+6That was a joke! HAHA!! FAT CHANCE!!
    • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Well, it worked for Monty Python...
    • dadioflex, on 07/11/2008, -1/+1Still.... better than 90% of The Daily Show.
  • kifoth, on 07/11/2008, -2/+17Go to: http://www.aperturelabratories.com/

    Type:LOGIN
    Username:CJOHNSON
    Password:TIER3
    Type:NOTES
    • conversekid, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Hm, possible foreshadowing? Looks very interesting.
    • Tyrghast, on 07/11/2008, -0/+12Older than the cake itself.
      • kifoth, on 07/11/2008, -1/+0Yeah, but the casting call talked about on gotgame above is for the guy whose bio comes up when you type 'NOTES'
      • MAGZine, on 07/12/2008, -1/+1Literally.

        Look at the copyright date... 1982.
        Do you have a cake from 1982? Didn't think so.
    • freezerburn666, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1thats one big application..
    • WarPirate, on 07/11/2008, -0/+6After the password prompt if you type DIR you will see there is another file named APPLY.
      • XenoSNK, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2Page 16 of this nonsense. No end in sight.

        Note: Do not apply and do not watch for flashing letters.
      • DontThinkSo, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1try also:
        thecakeisalie
        interrogate (I haven't gotten this one to say anything interesting)
    • Baltiman, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2yes - there is then a big application form - some mildy amusing questions with a stray text-pic of the cake appearing at random.

      Dont bother typing in the UIN (+L) number - nothing amazing happens
      • Outdoor83, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1What if you figure out the pre-christian mathematician whose hometown is incorrect?
      • EvilFerret, on 07/13/2008, -0/+1I forgot my UIN (+L) :( *****.... Luckily the Computer-Aided-Enrichment Crisis Team is on the way. Hope they don't take too long....I'll give it one more hour....
    • MikeSetera, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1or type THECAKEISALIE
  • deviationer, on 07/11/2008, -6/+3buried. we already knew about this. made public by shacknews a couple months ago.
    • mm3guy, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1It was Kotaku that got this news first.
  • tHeSiD, on 07/11/2008, -5/+1i wonder what happened to the episodic content of Half Life 2?
    I thought they are gonna do a continual release of HL2 episodes..
    • SmashA444, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1They have already released 2 episodes.
      Following the same schedule as the last one, Episode 3 should be coming out February 09
    • tHeSiD, on 07/11/2008, -3/+1oh. yeah like in what 2 years.. they may aswell brand them as new games..
      • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3Fanning the flames today, eh? I like the 6 hours in heaven Valve gives us every great while. Besides, do you really want Valve to lower their standards and stop aiming for the very top of what video games can be? Good games take time.
  • manitoba98xp, on 07/11/2008, -2/+3While Portal 2 is probably in the works, it's equally likely that this is connected to Half Life 2: Episode Three, which also features Aperture Science (the Borealis).
    • bonk2k, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1I agree. Although a second Portal game seems likely due to the franchise's success, I think we'll get our next healthy dose of Aperture Science and portal gun shenanigans in HL2: Ep. 3
  • Tyrghast, on 07/11/2008, -0/+13Why wasn't Crysis included on the list of mediocre fps games?
    • hamGrenade, on 07/11/2008, -0/+4because it was good until it turned into halo about 2/3 of the way through.
    • superoven, on 07/12/2008, -0/+1true sir
  • malex, on 07/11/2008, -0/+10Hold on... Is there any reason to believe that this is a casting call for Portal 2 and not just HL2:EP3?
    • Radica1Faith, on 07/11/2008, -0/+4You got a point there. Aperture Science and Black Mesa are all a part of the same universe.
  • 12D3, on 07/11/2008, -1/+5They better have another awesome, rocking song I can hum at work and quote on the interwebs!
  • Baltiman, on 07/11/2008, -0/+9Am I right in thinking that episode 3 going have some overlap with the whole aperture labs' storyline?
    Putting the portal gun into a halflife run-off would be cool.
  • Slackdragon, on 07/11/2008, -5/+4Cosplay Chell has cankles.
    • allisonaxe, on 07/11/2008, -1/+4no she doesn't. thats how real human beings are shaped.
      • Slackdragon, on 07/11/2008, -2/+3Hmmm, no. My wife and 2 daughters have ankles. This cosplayer has calves that merge ungracefully into feet. Cankles.

        So, to correct your statement: "yes, she does. thats how SOME real human beings are shaped, unfortunately."
  • jabberwocky360, on 07/11/2008, -2/+1Nothing new to see here. Move along people.
  • jockser, on 07/11/2008, -17/+1***** RIAA
    ***** BUSH
    ***** VERIZON
    ***** PORTAL
    opps.. got carried away.
    • MAGZine, on 07/12/2008, -1/+1Verizon is pretty awesome, and so is portal.

      ***** AT&T would be more appropriate. (Or if you're Canadian [holla]-- Rogers)
  • Eevee, on 07/11/2008, -6/+2Wow! I sure am glad you busted out this completely irrelevant Portal quote, just in case I hadn't played through the game myself and had somehow missed the fifty million other people who think they're God's gift to comedy if they quote a popular video game that everyone else is quoting.

    Stop ruining this series for me by making what was a dark and interesting line cringe-worthy. You aren't clever or funny or interesting or original. ***** you, OP.

    edit: Great, I'm glad 80% of this article is "Portal 2 will be like Portal! Probably!"
    • MassoukenBomb, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3You need to chill out. Including lines from Portal was not done for comedic effect, but because they are relevant to the discussion. I don't believe I'm "God's gift to comedy" any more than you believe you're God's gift to sensible arguments and mature discussion.

      And if you thought the original line was "dark and interesting," I think you missed the point completely. Likewise, if you really feel that the series is being "ruined" by people discussing it, laughing about it, and anticipating the next game, you're probably just one of those guys that gets angry when a no-name band they like blows up and sells a million records. If Portal discussion really bugs you that much and affects your interest in the series, you're probably not a real fan to begin with. Do you really like the game, or do you just like the idea of it? Seems like the latter to me...

      Lastly, when you're dealing with a title that has VERY little information revealed, you have no choice but to speculate. You need to read more previews if you think otherwise.
    • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3You're not smart, you're not a scientist. You're not even a full time employee.
  • EnfantinChloe, on 07/11/2008, -3/+2I still think the cake is a lie...
    • helloemptiness, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1I completely agree
    • JCPahl, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3I believe this has been sufficiently established.
  • wigginz, on 07/11/2008, -0/+4Chasing the sugary, AI-Inspired dragon? You mean like "Heroin Hero?"
    • Syphon8, on 07/11/2008, -0/+3I ALMOST GOT IT!
    • wigginz, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1south park guitar hero episode... watch it.
    • TVarmy, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2No, that's Wii Fit's jogging game.
    • ericrous, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2You can never catch him, you know. But he will destroy your career and cause the band to break up.
  • Infidelcastr0, on 07/11/2008, -0/+1Not new information but awesome nonetheless.
  • hamGrenade, on 07/11/2008, -0/+2old news is old but it still gives me a reason to think about how awesome portal is. ahhhh portal is awesome. anyhow there's always the portal flash map pack if you need more portal goodness.

    http://portalmaps.wecreatestuff.com/
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