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More 'Filthy' Games to Drive Fox News Crazy

wired.com — Column from Lore Sj öberg pointing out the inherent depravity of several other video games to Fox News in an attempt to become as famous as Cooper Lawrence. Enjoy.

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  • tfstone, on 01/30/2008, -3/+14Funny read.
  • assasin, on 01/30/2008, -22/+3Duke Nukem Forever - "Given that you can't boycott it yet, I suggest you pre-order it now so you can not pick it up when it gets released, although if there's a Democrat in the White House it will probably be included in school lunches along with the skim milk."
  • daxsymbiont, on 01/30/2008, -30/+1in reality right wings are more genuinely 'leftists' but they try to be right wings. opposite with leftists, they are usually rough persons that try to be soft, hence leftists.

    people usually sought what they don't have, a 'phychological' leftist will seek nationalism, conservatism etc. to not lose himself, a conservative 'psychologically', the opposite, something softer to not be stuck in being conservative.
    • ankit249, on 01/30/2008, -14/+0in reality right wings are more genuinely 'leftists' but they try to be right wings. opposite with leftists, they are usually rough persons that try to be soft, hence leftists.
    • rand0mm0nkey, on 01/30/2008, -0/+12what? what?
    • SuperVepr308, on 01/30/2008, -0/+12Pass the bong and that might make some sense to us...
    • Terr01, on 01/30/2008, -1/+5Eeeeew.

      Here's an attempted paraphrase: "People join the party of what they want to be rather than what they are."

      For some reason, however, I find myself interpreting the use of "leftist" instead of "liberal" to be a slur.
  • Spero, on 01/30/2008, -0/+23Boohbah Wiggle and Giggle sounds like the name of a nudie bar I once happened upon
  • Myst3r1o, on 01/30/2008, -7/+1lol... pretty fun. Super Mario Galaxy is even on the list. lmao - What's next... I wonder.
  • derflan, on 01/30/2008, -0/+4huh... i thought i was the only one who noticed the crotch thing....
  • drsmith3, on 01/30/2008, -24/+1People look into things too much. The ESRB is not going to give something an E rating if there are "explicit sex scenes."
    • reaper527, on 01/30/2008, -0/+32you are aware that the wired story was a satire, right?
    • altgeeky1, on 01/30/2008, -1/+3>The ESRB is not going to give something an E rating if there are "explicit sex scenes."

      You are correct, but you just tried to EXPLAIN things in 17 words... and THAT is why you will lose.

      To win, you must think like Fox News: the position you advocate is GOOD and the other side is EVIL.
      Therefore if you must distort the truth or lie.. it's OK because of the ultimate 'good' your lie helped bring about.
      (*cough* Fox news video cues to 'smoking gun' wmd finds... *cough)

      Keep your sound bite to 6 or 7 words, and SENSATIONALIZE.... or you'll start sounding like a sedition pushing, terror-sympathetic ENGINEER.
    • Niallgriff, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1I thought that was what the "E" stood for...
    • bagboyrebel, on 01/31/2008, -1/+1BUT THEN WHY WASNT MASS EFFECT RATED A!!!!?
  • karltonDance, on 01/30/2008, -0/+13Good to see that Lore Sjöberg is still writing
    • MacEnvy, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6Yeah, it's nice to see some of the humor that I've been missing since Bruching Shuttlecocks went the way of the dodo.
    • papastout, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1I'd personally like to see a /~jeffK rant on the matter. (-:
  • BryanG412, on 01/30/2008, -2/+1dugg for the words boobahh wiggle and giggle
  • killdashnine, on 01/30/2008, -0/+9"Naked homosexual monkeys." LOL.

    I think that all newscasts should have a "mature audiences only" label. Video games are the least of our worries.
  • wire02, on 01/30/2008, -0/+5But if we didnt come from naked homosexual monkeys then where did we come from?
    • Exbzurg, on 01/30/2008, -0/+11 squirrel-monkey and half frog-fish having butt sex.
    • vibrokatana, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Well, if your questioning where you came from then you need a vacation to the psychiatric ward or a nice long talk with your parents.
    • Terr01, on 01/30/2008, -1/+5Something half-man, half-bear, and half-pig.
    • Philbert, on 01/30/2008, -1/+3Ask the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
    • Harbinger67, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Retarded fish-frogs.
    • papastout, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Xenu
    • GrantTheGr8, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Naked homosexual deities?
  • facelessplebe, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6You really have to love Lore. I miss the brunching Shuttlecocks.
  • bloominoctober, on 01/30/2008, -0/+30Dugg for the following line alone (though the whole thing was a great and funny read):

    "Please have casual sex in alleyways while doing lines of ecstasy with a liberal arts major."
    • papastout, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1I laugh out loud at that line in the article and in your post.
  • zheisey, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1good article
  • SuperVepr308, on 01/30/2008, -2/+3I haven't played Mass Effect (COD:4 is my poison now) so I was wondering if the sex scene I keep hearing about is that bad. Is it really graphic or something? There was a pretty wild one in Darkwatch if you happened to have played it (good game) but nothing was really made out of it.
    • daborg, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1No.
    • petebot, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3That was a game I kept thinking of getting, but never did. The sex scene in Mass Effect is really not that bad. It's more like a foreplay scene. It's pretty PG-13 ...
      • SuperVepr308, on 01/30/2008, -0/+2You can obviously get Darkwatch for pennies now so I would say you couldn't lose by giving it a try. A Western/Vampire FPS sounded pretty weird to me but the story is actually pretty good. Thinking back, it is a little "Bioshocky" in a small way since you can go to the dark side a little if you want.
        • petebot, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1Thanks for the info. Is it compatible with the 360? I got rid of my Xbox.

          I don't understand why you got dugg down...I'll put you back in the black.
    • LaughingMan11, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1The sex scene is basically on par with prime time television, if even that. You get no control over the scene, so this is not anything like Hot Coffee... it's a cutscene that you can unlock.
    • tjanssen85, on 02/19/2008, -0/+0This is a link to the complete scene (omitting prior dialogue): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pvj6D3HnN_s
      Honestly after all the controversy this scene generated, you'd think there would be penetration or a money shot or something.
  • delphython, on 01/30/2008, -0/+15in all seriousness, somebody should send them a few Japanese hentai games. some of those could make a grown man cry
    • markperia, on 01/30/2008, -0/+8of joy
    • Niallgriff, on 01/30/2008, -0/+10If it doesn't make you cry, it will certainly change the way you view tentacles.
  • chadu, on 01/30/2008, -0/+5Metroid Prime 3 should be on that list too... a girl in a heavy bondage suit with a grappler who performs Screw Attacks? OMG!
  • iMike360, on 01/30/2008, -1/+3I bet if you emailed this to them they would believe it and run a story about it.
  • iMike360, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1I bet if you email this to them they would believe it and run a story about the horrors of videos games and how they are a doorway to ISD fueled, Satanic, kinky sex.
  • ReinMasamuri, on 01/30/2008, -13/+2So, why is Fox getting the heat for this crap just because of one of it's reporters? (Martha MacCallum)
    Did we jump on the New York Times for the Jayson Blair debacle? No, we jumped on Jayson as we should have and THAT was hundreds of stories, not just one.
    But just because it's Fox news, it has to be Fox New's ignorance, Fox New's cluelessness.
    P.S. MSNBC has more blatant falsehoods than Fox News ever thought to report, yet we ignore them. At least Fox News has people on from the other side almost every time. For instance, while Martha may have been overpowering, they still had Geoff Keighley there to defend it. MSNBC would have just reported it as "fact" and went on.
    • directive0, on 01/30/2008, -3/+1You know, just cause they aren't the worst doesn't mean you should get all butt hurt about it.
      • ReinMasamuri, on 01/30/2008, -2/+3I'm not butt hurt, I'm enjoying the double standard here.
    • ReinMasamuri, on 01/30/2008, -2/+3I'd also like to throw out there: way to ignore the subject of the comment.
    • LaughingMan11, on 01/30/2008, -0/+6The problem with Fox is that they create the illusion of "fair and balanced" by treating every issue like there are two sides to it. Issues may be intensely complex, but they'll treat it like theres two sides so they can get a yelling match. On the other hand, in cases like this, they'll bring one guy like Geoff into the discussion so they can demonize him like they did, while the facts are obviously on Geoff's side, you don't get that from the way Fox is presenting it.

      Don't kid yourself that Fox doesn't have an obvious bias just because they present two people yelling at each other with opposite points of view. Fox is the worst at spinning opinion and relying on analysis instead of actual reporting. Fox does the least amount of reporting, but the most amount of analysis and opinion that *tastes* like reporting.
    • Vlatro, on 02/04/2008, -0/+1OK guys, here's the fact: All media sensationalizes, stretches truth and has at it's root some bias. Fox news is guilty, as is the NY Times, and MSNBC is right up there with Scientology and the Flat Earth Society in regards to their perception of reality. It's all editorialized to pander to one group or another. I would take any news broadcast as seriously as I take the Wired article. Every major media company tries to portray it's self as unbiased, but anyone with half a brain and a pulse can tell speculation from fact. Some tips for all the would-be skeptics out there:

      • Graphs, Statistics and Polls are never representative of the data. They are used to illustrate data in a way that ties into the more intresting story.
      • Headlines are made to get your attention, not summarize the facts. Their a selling point that helps gain ad revenue.
      • Sensationalism sells to a much larger market than raw data. People will sooner pay for a story that draws them in emotionally (be it for better or worse) than they will for pure, scientific objectivity.
      • Media Wars are great for business. By polarizing viewers and the readership, people feel like their a part of the more rational side, the people who "Really now what's happening". Their not one of the "Sheep". That's a good feeling reinforced ever time you turn on the TV or buy a newspaper. They'd rather split the market and get half the people to buy into it every day than have the entire market as casual customers.

      It's all marketing, done to benifit a business. There's nothing wrong with that. If you believe any of them would sell you a lie, you're only fooling yourself. Everyone's guilty.
      • Vlatro, on 02/04/2008, -0/+1*EDIT- Last line was supposed to say "Wouldn't". Sorry for any confusion.
  • somedorkygamer, on 01/30/2008, -3/+1fox is retarded
  • fani, on 01/30/2008, -2/+3Cooper Lawrence is famous ? I consider her a bitch. Shes not famous here.
    • Philbert, on 01/30/2008, -1/+2famous isn't always a good thing.
      • Valleye, on 01/30/2008, -1/+1OJ is famous.
      • fani, on 01/30/2008, -1/+2There is a word for that - infamous.
        Famous is well known in a good way.
        But,,,,, Cooper Lawrence is well just a.....Bitch
        • petebot, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1infamous? like more than famous? This El guapo must be a major star in Mexico!
      • amoirae, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Famous women from history: Lucrezia Borgia, Elizabeth Bathtory, Eva Braun, Typhoid Mary, Tokyo Rose, Mata Hari, Ann Coulter, Michelle Malkin...

        Fame doesn't detract from being a monster with estrogen.
  • staxofmax, on 01/30/2008, -0/+3I miss the Brunching Shuttlecocks.
  • yujie, on 01/30/2008, -1/+4Wheres Heroin Hero?
  • juicebag, on 01/30/2008, -7/+2UR MR GAY
  • stafax, on 01/30/2008, -7/+1this article just wasn't funny
  • papastout, on 01/31/2008, -0/+5Oh man, I would almost call this NSFW for all the outbursts of laughter that came from my little cube whilre reading this (on my lunch break, ahem).

    I might add that any game from Blues Clues endorses beastiality. Take that Fox!
  • astevens54, on 01/31/2008, -0/+3FOX new is no longer a reputable news source...
  • AvangionQ, on 01/31/2008, -1/+1This seems like too much of a joke, even for FOXnews to air -- what I need to see a video of any of this ...
  • Vash3001, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1How about Sexy Beach or Virtual Jenna?
    >_>
  • Recockilous, on 01/31/2008, -1/+4Hello

    I have never been able to get it.
    Why on heavens earth does most Americans go totally anal as soon as anything sexual is hinted in any medium?
    How many TV-murders have been seen by the average American 6-year old? No American cares.
    You can by an AK-47 at 7-Eleven - no American cares.
    But if a woman shows a nip on TV....
    All hell breaks loose!
    American double-standards and hypocrisy reaches new heights every day!
    /Recockilous
  • smokedvw, on 01/31/2008, -2/+0Rock Band

    I hardly need to explain the epidemic deviancy behind rock 'n' roll music. The Guitar Hero games were bad enough, but adding drums to the equation means that if you give this to your child, you may as well include a note saying, "Please have casual sex in alleyways while doing lines of ecstasy with a liberal arts major." In addition, you can play it while naked.
    ----------------

    Wow i dont know what kind of kids your raising but if allowing your kids to play drums leads to "Please have casual sex in alleyways while doing lines of ecstasy with a liberal arts major." I hope you dont have children.
    • trizzlelv, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1This moron obviously didn't get the joke. Someone wanna fill him in?
  • capstone22, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1Sick of fox news! http://www.banfoxnews.com
  • yrtsiger, on 02/18/2008, -0/+0that was amazing
  • tjanssen85, on 02/19/2008, -0/+0Based on the Fox News controversy generator, I have determined that the entire Elder Scrolls series be banned from the shelves. It allows the user to commit heinous crimes: break into homes, steal from innocent people, mutilate animals and eat their alchemically altered remains, and murder people then strip their bodies to be left naked in public places. It is a horrible atrocity that it the ERSB only gave it a Teen rating!
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