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See the original image at gamesradar.com —

Before Lara Croft: Mediocre Game Babes You Might Remember

gamesradar.com — We of the proud gaming generation have endured countless hours of titillation long before Lara Croft stepped onto the scene. Many of us grew up in a time of Jessica Rabbit, Cheetara, and Smurfette, so our standards of arousal are pretty damned high. These are the in-game dames that made us all say “Maybe. But we’ll pass for now.”

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  • JustinHopewell, on 07/26/2008, -2/+16I got no problem with Meryl. I'd even let her take charge in the bedroom. Well, I probably wouldn't have a choice. Oh, man, this is sad.
    • Shogi, on 07/26/2008, -1/+5You aren't alone.
    • MacHarborGuy, on 07/26/2008, -2/+15i seem to remember Tomb Raider coming out BEFORE Metal Gear Solid.
      • MasterGrief, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Perhaps they mean video game women that come before Lara Croft in terms of importance? I'm not saying I think Lara Croft is the most important, but maybe the guys behind this list do.
      • MacHarborGuy, on 07/31/2008, -0/+1honestly, GamesRadar doesn't seem to be a very "girl gamer friendly" website, what with all of the female game character 4chan/deviantart image they plaster all over that place
    • tidu, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4what about that chick from Math Blaster?
    • Andrwmorph, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1Don't worry, we all played MGS4
  • michaelwong38, on 07/26/2008, -8/+1Smurfette giggle, yeah. Wilma Flintstone hubba hubba OH WAIT! What about Princess on Battle of the Planets, she was a hunny, gets my keyops going.
  • Shogi, on 07/26/2008, -4/+46I'd nail Meryl, pack Ms. Pacman, give Marian an angry dragon, cum in Gum, be Chell's companion cube, find Carmen Sandiego all night long, destroy Jennifer's playground, grand theft Kate's McReary, rabbit Jessica Rabbit, smurf Smurfette and stab Aeris with my sword....

    ....but I would not Cheet on Cheetara.
    • Shogi, on 07/26/2008, -3/+18Damn, I should've said "show Meryl my snake".
      • Jack8274, on 07/26/2008, -0/+10Don't you mean "show Meryl my solid snake"!
    • edenseager, on 07/26/2008, -2/+8How do you rabbit someone?
      • hermslice, on 07/26/2008, -1/+3if you have to have that explained you will never have the skillz needed to do it.
      • spoonchucks, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Well... When a man and a woman love eachother...
  • chaos7, on 07/26/2008, -1/+50this has a bad title. the real article is just mediocre game babes. they don't have to be before lara croft.
    • pdavda, on 07/26/2008, -1/+8Yeah, I was going to say how is Chell from Portal before Lara Croft?
    • MacHarborGuy, on 07/26/2008, -2/+5quote from the article "We of the proud gaming generation have endured countless hours of titillation long before Lara Croft stepped onto the scene."

      Kinda makes it seem like it would be pre-Lara, especially when that part is followed up by Pauline from Donkey Kong.
  • goldfenix, on 07/26/2008, -1/+5Gum from Jet Grind Radio? Pssh, how about Cube instead?

    http://hg101.classicgaming.gamespy.com/jetsetradio ...

    (Sorry, best picture I could find on short notice.)
    • keinestijl, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Exactly, and btw why is smelling like paint thinner a problem?
  • davidkeithjones, on 07/26/2008, -2/+5Princess Peach! Mediocre and ugly. Although, Mario would probably give her a good donkey punch anyway.
  • lenninct, on 07/26/2008, -2/+4what no Jill Valentine!!!!
  • ryan69969, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2Actually, I thought than in MGS4 Meryl had the best MoCap actor of all the female characters, and the voice performance (English) for Meryl was the best in the game (aside from Snake of course...perhaps Drebin too).
    • Andrwmorph, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1Best actor in MGS4: That crazy monkey think that hangs with Drebin.
  • Jovensenforcer, on 07/26/2008, -4/+1Smurfette really knows how to ***** too, but I'm sure you'd catch something from her even if you wrapped up.
  • PussInBoots, on 07/26/2008, -1/+6That hot woman from video game Sin, does anyone remember her?

    Edit: found her, http://images.google.com/images?q=Elexis%20Sinclai ...
    • MasterGrief, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Oh yeah, I remember seeing ads for the recent sequel of SiN on Steam a few years ago.
  • mrblue182, on 07/26/2008, -10/+4Portal and FF7 mediocre? I beg to differ.
    • Sethbacca, on 07/26/2008, -2/+5Did you not read the article or are you just retarded. He's not saying the games are mediocre, the gals within the games are being called mediocre.
  • MosaicM, on 07/26/2008, -6/+6They have chell from Portal but no Alyx from HL2? What the hell?

    Alyx is far more popular (as a character) and imho, far more hittable. ;)
    • KingFog, on 07/26/2008, -1/+7If Alyx is more "hittbale" then she ain't exactly more mediocre than Chell is she?
    • Gryphon09, on 07/26/2008, -1/+3Exactly.
      Less mediocre.
  • narcofiche, on 07/26/2008, -2/+8What about when you defeat Chun Li and pause it while she's upside down and in mid-air. I think that was the moment that I realized I'm a man.
  • obsolite, on 07/26/2008, -1/+7Jill of the Jungle? No?

    http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thum ...
    • Matic, on 07/26/2008, -2/+5One of the first games I've ever played on a computer.
    • ReptilynSamurai, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Hell yes! First game I ever saved up my allowance to buy the full version of. Ah the memories...
    • carpespasm, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1Hell yeah. Jill could really slide down a vine.
    • n4tune8, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1Oh man you brought back memories. I used to play this game on the school's computers. They were 386's I think. Yeah, I'm that old...
    • Andrwmorph, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1I just had a flashback of me being like 6 years old and playing that game. Damn.
  • ortucis, on 07/26/2008, -2/+12Mediocre babes after Lara Croft:

    1) Lara Croft




    - THE END -
  • christof53, on 07/26/2008, -1/+6Did anyone ever end up finding Carmen Sandiego? She's worse than waldo.
    Those two should date, and have a reality tv show about it.
  • icepick314, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1how about the Native American chick from Custard's Last Stand?

    the first Rated R game character?
  • GohanGVO, on 07/26/2008, -0/+27 out of 10 is above average. 5 is average.
  • kd420, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1First thing i thought of after reading the title.
  • Eze2k, on 07/26/2008, -3/+0aya brea,anyone?

    http://survivalhoror.gamesweb.sk/miss/gparasiteeve ...
  • willb285, on 07/26/2008, -0/+5***** YOU, I HAVEN'T FINISHED GTA IV YET. I don't care how little McReary means to the plot, don't you ever spoil anything about any game....TRIVIA??? GTFO.
    • MasterGrief, on 07/26/2008, -1/+1All it said was save the game! For all you know she just breaks up with you in a stupidly tearful way!
    • FutureEng, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4Actually after refusing you all those times before, she ambushes and rapes you. Normally this would be awesome, but... well... strap-ons.
  • radiopayola, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Don't agree with the content, but dugg for mention of aerith. FF7 was the only turn-based, story-driven, on-rails rpg that I've ever played and enjoyed (I almost liked Anachronox). She was a big part of it.
  • nycmac247, on 07/26/2008, -1/+1Girls with beards??

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7vItiMW7jGg
  • Tyrghast, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2Portal has nothing to do with feminism. You play a character who happens to be a woman, and your opponent is a robot (she has a woman's voice but as we all know, robots have no gender or feelings or mannerisms, they are only pure evil).
  • Dunge, on 07/26/2008, -1/+6Before Lara Craft? Most of these games got released after.
  • Dunge, on 07/26/2008, -6/+1Before Lara Craft? Most of these games got released after.
  • LuckyEMS, on 07/26/2008, -1/+12yeah i totally remember portal coming out before tomb raider
  • khoa1708, on 07/26/2008, -2/+3tifa > aerith
  • boredrph, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1cammy from streetfighter? Always like her ass after she won
  • Aros, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1That so wasn't a punch to the stomach.
  • aflaks, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1uh just so you know there's a kill scream coming up. kill screen.
  • Cockslap, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Smurf you! You're all a bunch of smurfing smurfholes. LEAVE SMURFETTE ALONE!
  • n8dude, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1*Ahem* I believe they forgot Alyx. (they put chell in there, why not alyx?)
  • jhart3, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1lara croft came before just about all of these except pauline from DK, maybe Aerith from ff7... buried as inaccurate ha, jk.
  • xjeffx, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Thanks for the ***** MGS4 spoiler.
  • beefclown, on 07/26/2008, -0/+0I love Tomb Rider.
  • LHHuynh, on 07/26/2008, -0/+0Does nobody remember Rynn from Drakan?
  • Darkswarm, on 07/26/2008, -1/+10Buried as inaccurate. Most series mentioned actually come AFTER Lara Croft.

    Donkey Kong: 1981
    Ms. Pac-Man: 1981
    Where in the World Is Carmen Sandiego?: 1985
    Double Dragon: 1987

    Tomb Raider: 1996

    Final Fantasy VII: 1997
    Metal Gear Solid: 1998
    Jet Set Radio: 2000
    Mercenaries: Playground of Destruction: 2005
    Portal: 2007
    Grand Theft Auto IV: 2008

    Also buried for the trivia section on Portal. We actually don't know anything about Chell, because with GLaDOS's emotions getting in the way, any information she provided in the game is dubious at best.
    • scotishstriker, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3it is the diggers fault not the website
    • xtremepizan, on 07/27/2008, -2/+1Seriously. You digg assholes never read anything
  • sisko2k5, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1how is this before croft?
  • Vegabondsx, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2The title is inaccurate.

    Plus, what's wrong with women who aren't all sexed up? Chell may not be a sex symbol, but does that make her a bad character? Why can't we have average women be heroines or characters, similar to men.
  • sleepbox, on 07/26/2008, -1/+1No Alyx Vance?! If they are going to throw the dates all off then at least include some hot chicks. Kate was also not the most attractive girlfriend in GTA4.
  • Matt2k, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1It's a stupid list, with stupid commentary, with spoilers thrown in for no good reason. Thank god we all know what video game characters boys who post on internets forums would sleep with. I'd bury this story twice if I could.
  • scotishstriker, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3wait.... where the hell is samis
  • antdude, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1Cate Archer?
  • NiGHTSChao, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1What the *****, how come Cate Archer isn't on this list?
  • heartsblood, on 07/27/2008, -0/+2No mention of the stripper from duke nukem 3d or the 'shower babe' from shadow warrior gets an automatic bury. You know damn well at least half of us tried to...'improve' the models in that lame level editor for theirs.
  • R75700, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1Sylvia from Kung Fu for the NES.

    http://www.courtwright.org/challenges/Pics/KungFu_ ...
  • 1timeuser, on 07/27/2008, -0/+1Roll from the Megaman Legend series. Grow some ***** *****.
    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/08/Roll ...
  • jiveturkeyblues, on 07/28/2008, -0/+1***** this *****. most of these are the intelligent, normal looking girls in video games. and, coincidentally, the only ones that're attractive at all.

    i hate digg sometimes.
  • chick4869, on 08/02/2008, -0/+0LOL no chun li ahhaha. but if you include chun li you would have to include all the other street fighter girls and then all the fighting game girls. okay you say no CHUN LI how about all the hotties in dead or alive. well the list does sday mediocre girls. all the girls seem fairly interesting i guess the list consists of females that are forgotten? i guess yeh forgotten females in gaming list that arent very hot but are semi attractive haha.
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