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Report: Planes Just As Afraid Of John Madden

theonion.com — The Federal Aviation Administration stated Wednesday that, according to all available evidence, airplanes are just as afraid of carrying sportscaster John Madden as he is of traveling on them.

Who dugg this? Made popular Nov 27, 2008

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  • woodyinthehoody, on 11/27/2008, -2/+34"To win in football, you have to score more points than the other team!"
  • SemiSarcastic, on 11/27/2008, -0/+24John Madden: SO YOU SEE HERE I'M IN THE AIRPLANE AND WE'RE ABOUT TO TAKE OFF BECAUSE WE'RE GOING TO GO SOMEWHERE! SEE YOU GOT THE PILOT HERE (circles once) THE STEWARDESS (circles three times) AND THE CO-PILOT. THE CO-PILOT: NOW THERE IS A GUY THAT WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO CO-PILOT A PLANE...HE DOES IT! I'M MEAN THAT'S WHAT HE DOES FOR A LIVING! AND I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE Y-Y-YOU KNOW JUST TALKIN' AND TELLING PEOPLE THAT ACE IS THE PLACE FOR THE HELPFUL HARDWARE MAN AND THAT'S THE LOW DOWN...BOOM!
  • AmyVernon, on 11/27/2008, -1/+24See, I would have believed this wasn't the Onion.
  • pitchblack16, on 11/27/2008, -4/+21John Madden, the most obvious play by play man in sports, yes John we know the receiver caught the ball.
  • apoupada, on 11/27/2008, -1/+16What does he care, he the most successful sports video game franchise out there!
  • DickyT83, on 11/27/2008, -1/+15BOOM
  • nick2, on 11/27/2008, -0/+10Here's a guy....
  • Deveak, on 11/27/2008, -1/+9Tough actin Tinactin!
    I feel sad now, I shouldn't remember that.....:(
  • superterrorizer, on 11/27/2008, -0/+7Now you see: When a plane hits the ground unintentionally, that's a plane crash.
  • robbiedo, on 11/27/2008, -0/+7I watched a mid 1990' NFL playoff game on NFL network recently, and Madden was on the broadcast team. He was absolutely fantastic back in the day.

    Let's face it, Madden is getting on in years, and is not nearly as sharp as he once was. However, I still enjoy having him being part of the whole NFL "Theater." Someday,he won't be there, and he will be missed.
  • lebondarken, on 11/27/2008, -0/+5Yes, but I do digg it. :)
  • BZKyle, on 11/27/2008, -0/+5Obligatory: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XBW7ysPcbT0
  • Jerky1312, on 11/28/2008, -0/+5"The last team to win in the season, are usually the Superbowl champs."
  • Greatn3ss, on 11/28/2008, -0/+4Someone get this man some goddamn internets!
  • WillWork4Food, on 11/27/2008, -2/+5Have YOU ever tried to get the smell of a Turducken fart out of YOUR upholstery?

    You'd be afraid too!
  • Junior612, on 11/27/2008, -2/+5Planes, trains, and plantains: The story of John Madden
  • Unriggable, on 11/27/2008, -1/+4well the 51 people who dugg it like the onion, so stop bitching. if you dont like it, dont visit it. its a pretty simple procedure.
  • Dumbfood, on 11/27/2008, -2/+5yes, ***** the union
  • DirtyVicar, on 11/27/2008, -0/+3Who's the comedian who referred to John Madden as John Candy's dad?
  • MalachiConstant, on 11/27/2008, -0/+3There are some second graders out there that know to put an N before OT to emphasize a point of using the word "not".

    That said, I humbly disagree and found the article not only funny, but without spelling errors T-OO.
  • swass, on 11/28/2008, -0/+3Comment of the week! Still giggling.

    /golf clap
  • Xizor227, on 11/28/2008, -0/+2He's big. and he's strong, and he's fast BOOM.... WHACK
  • inactive, on 11/27/2008, -0/+2I see the joke you're trying to make, but if he stepped on a plane, it didn't self destruct.
  • electricwaffles, on 11/28/2008, -0/+2Actually, his obvious comments wouldn't be a problem IF he was the play-by-plan man -- because that's their job: to describe the play for those who aren't watching/paying attention. But he's supposed to be the color commentator, and his color comments are just black and white retarded.
  • inactive, on 11/28/2008, -0/+2http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_138p6uzhUk

    No explanations needed.
  • u8myfoood, on 11/28/2008, -0/+2I thought this was real at first.... -_-

    BTW great ad placement on the page:
    http://server6.theimagehosting.com/image.php?img=J ... best ad placement
  • DickyT83, on 11/27/2008, -1/+3lol that was good.
  • aaronized, on 11/27/2008, -0/+1BOOM! TOUGH ACTIN' TINACTIN!
  • RaGE78, on 11/27/2008, -0/+1amazing
  • theremixtrack, on 11/27/2008, -3/+4John Madden stepped on a plane then BOOM, it self-destructed.
  • Gr1nch, on 11/27/2008, -0/+1tuff actin' tinactin!

    boom athletes foot is gone!

    thanks john!
  • cadebbie, on 11/27/2008, -0/+1Funny. This made me smile.
  • Adrian540, on 11/28/2008, -0/+1hahaha cause he's FAT.
  • replaysMike, on 11/28/2008, -0/+1fat jokes - always classy.
  • Xizor227, on 11/28/2008, -0/+1Am I the only one who really doesn't find him funny?
  • socomoddjob, on 11/28/2008, -0/+1John ate Pat Summerall for dinner.
  • ratchetbg, on 11/28/2008, -0/+1Isn't everyone a little scared of this man?
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  • pelousegazon, on 02/16/2009, -0/+0Beschreibung:
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  • inactive, on 11/30/2008, -0/+0Few things frighten me as much as the thought of the bathroom in John Madden's bus.
  • mrroarke, on 11/28/2008, -2/+2Is there some way to block just Onion articles? I'd hate to exclude the "Comedy" category (with stuff that's actually funny) just to keep this unfunny ***** off of the front page.
  • xGeneric, on 11/27/2008, -1/+1Another good Frank Impression of Madden

    http://www.ebaumsworld.com/audio/play/43001/

    "Madden is so ridiculous he can drive a guy to drink and that explains Pat Summerall's problem"
  • mrdude4290, on 11/27/2008, -0/+0and thats tha- that's gon that's gonn that's gonna be a touchdown
  • Dweed, on 11/27/2008, -0/+0xGeneric: buried for ebaum.
  • Phydu7, on 11/27/2008, -4/+3In Soviet Russia, you not afraid of plane. Plane afraid of YOU!
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