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CUT THE CRAP:Cincinnati could kill birds that poop on Bengals fans at games

news.cincinnati.com — Operators of Paul Brown Stadium want permission from the city to shoot birds that have been pooping on Bengals fans. At the request of Eric Brown, managing director of the county-owned stadium, city officials are looking into the legal issues surrounding possibly shooting the birds.

Who dugg this? Made popular Sep 28, 2007

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  • writh3n, on 10/10/2007, -5/+62Chad Johnson for MVP if he can pull out a pistol and shoot down a bird for his end zone celebration.
  • deleeter, on 10/10/2007, -2/+52send michael vick in there
  • bitmanx, on 10/10/2007, -2/+51Nice, can't wait for a dead bird to fall into my nacho cheese...
  • BarbaraKolbe, on 10/10/2007, -10/+57How can I *not* digg a story that has crap, Cincinnati and Bengals in the title! ;-)
  • johneyoung, on 10/10/2007, -3/+48They should just tazer them instead.
  • inactive, on 10/10/2007, -5/+47Three words: BB Gun Day
  • insomniac8400, on 10/10/2007, -7/+42Legal issues? Nice to know somehow our laws protect the rights of birds to ***** on us.
  • donte, on 10/10/2007, -5/+35Why not? There are enough laws to protect politicians and law enforcement that ***** on us. Why not the birds?
  • nemesiscw, on 10/10/2007, -0/+28From what I've been told, in Seattle, they used trained birds of prey to scrae off the birds at their stadiums.
  • razrielle, on 10/10/2007, -0/+23O'RLY?
  • laddr, on 10/10/2007, -5/+27Who Dey!
  • bundwallah, on 10/10/2007, -2/+24I can almost hear Triumph now......

    The Bengals are a great team...............


    FOR ME TO POOP ON!!!!!!!
  • satx, on 10/10/2007, -2/+24Don't tase me, crow.
  • krets, on 10/10/2007, -0/+20Birds were born with a desire to poop! It's not a choice it's genetics!
  • akatherder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+19Those must be sea hawks. It would hardly be safe to turn a bunch of Bengal tigers loose.
  • Error601, on 10/10/2007, -2/+18Inaccurate: "birds" being used instead of "flying rat infestation."
  • MadKennyP, on 10/10/2007, -0/+16Note to self: DO NOT order the chicken tenders.
  • drachemorder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+15You'll shoot your eye out, kid.
  • faroff, on 10/10/2007, -2/+17This is discrimination at its worst. Everyone ***** on Bengal fans, why do they have a problem when birds do it?
  • scuzzman, on 10/10/2007, -7/+21"The team makes millions of dollars in revenue each year and I am sure they could come up with some sane idea for ridding the stadium of the bird problem without killing the offending creatures."
    Well, Mr. Bird Whisperer, why don't you just go ask them to leave?
  • krets, on 10/10/2007, -0/+14Triumph the Insult Comic Pigeon?
  • inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+15I like the fake owls idea
  • lazerus9, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13The birds are crapping on the fans now, later it will be the Bengal's crapping on the fans like they do every year!
  • signal15, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Fake owls only work for a short period of time, and then the birds get wise to it. A better solution would be to get real owls, or hawks. :)
  • drachemorder, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15Have you ever tried reasoning with a pigeon?
  • mstoneburner, on 10/10/2007, -2/+14Whoever told you life was fair lied to you.
  • Eihcet, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12At amusment parks and such they have 'prickly' coverings over horizontal surfaces to minimize spots for the birds to hang out. Seems to work there, and article says they are looking into it, seems easier than shooting them.
  • MattB123, on 10/10/2007, -0/+12That's probably one of the better ideas. Cities introduce hawks and falcons to do this in downtown areas too. But maybe these guys don't want to introduce any animal that might be the opposing team's mascot.
  • pintomp3, on 10/10/2007, -0/+11free wings!
  • akatherder, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10There has to be a tie-in with WKRP in Cincinnati and the "flying" turkeys.
  • krets, on 10/10/2007, -2/+12Pigeons are far from an endangered species. Pigeons are the avian equivalent of cockroaches.
  • zeejay, on 10/10/2007, -2/+11In related news, a recent exit poll revealed that two-thirds of fans found being ***** on to be the highlight of the Bengals-watching experience.
  • inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10at least you tried...
  • thcobbs, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9Vanquished.... the DEAD Insult Comic Pigeon.
  • jrizzo, on 10/10/2007, -2/+103 hawks could have fun policing an entire stadium, as opposed to 1000 disease infested pigeons. We could give some bald eagles some baseball hats and say if they poop on you, its a free hotdog!


    EDIT: ***** spell check...hotdog is one word in my book. like website or datafile.
  • inactive, on 10/10/2007, -1/+9I wasn't aware Owls and Hawks didn't ***** either
  • ryodoan, on 10/10/2007, -2/+10Reminds me of a quote:
    For every critter you dont eat, I am going to eat two.

    Or something like that...
  • MattB123, on 10/10/2007, -2/+10Easier, maybe (highly debatable). As much fun? Definitely not.
  • oldhick, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7WTF? I hope that was a joke. Didn't make much sense...
  • oldhick, on 10/10/2007, -3/+10How does fair relate to a pigeon? Like they're going to be real offended by it with their incredible intellects. Is it fair when other animals eat pigeons?
  • doktorrocket, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7I suspect they'd shoot them during the 98% of the time that the stadium is unoccupied.
  • Ndiggnation, on 10/10/2007, -2/+9Well, if you live in any decent sized city, you can at least take comfort in the fact that it's doubtful that pigeons are anywhere close to being endangered..
  • zombiedepot, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Once, but he pulled out a knife.
  • Ghstfce, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6They should also start shooting the people that get drunk and piss on the floor/toilet seats in the men's bathroom too. But they should torture that one sick F that always seems to make cave drawings on the stall walls with feces.
  • MisterRik, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Just get a falconer out there. You fly a hawk, the birds vanish. Rubbish dumps on the coast use the same system to stop seagulls removing trash and polluting the surrounding area and it is very successful. You don't need the bird flying all the time, just regularly.
  • scoot2006, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Doesn't seem like they need sharpshooters for that. I'm a Bengals fan, but *****. Last two games have been painful to watch.
  • pintomp3, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6senator craig might like that.
  • scuzzman, on 10/10/2007, -0/+5Onomatopoeia
  • krets, on 10/10/2007, -7/+12Because it's fun?
  • trer, on 10/10/2007, -3/+8Football and Guns. How American.
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