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Tomato Genetically Modified To Be More Expensive

theonion.com — Geneticists at the California Institute of Technology announced Monday that they have developed a tomato with a 31 percent larger price tag than a typical specimen of the vine-ripened fruit.

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  • dtele, on 05/19/2008, -1/+15Thats progress for you !
  • SeaweedWater, on 05/19/2008, -0/+25Finally, Tomacco!!
  • mciampa1214, on 05/19/2008, -2/+9Dear California Institute of Technology,

    You're doing it wrong.
  • AmishRefugee, on 05/19/2008, -2/+38Digg needs to develop some kind of visual warning that a specific headline is a The Onion article, every day or two I double-take reading the headlines and get really confused for about 4 seconds D:
    • Bhima, on 05/19/2008, -2/+13That is whole point
      • str3ama, on 05/19/2008, -1/+6well you could look at the url and find the words onion in it.
      • stormspire, on 05/19/2008, -0/+1Well it would be nice to know before clicking. It is kinda hard to see the digg link url from RSS.
    • makkaveli19, on 05/19/2008, -0/+1i'm in the same boat as you. i was thinking what the ***** it was supposed to mean.
    • Duositex, on 05/19/2008, -2/+2What they need is a filter for stories from specific URLS so I can get this crap off my digg.
    • invinciblechunk, on 05/19/2008, -1/+4They do. It's called the Comedy section. It's where stories from sites like The Onion and BBSpot belong.

      Any other section, I bury as inaccurate.
    • BradMW, on 05/19/2008, -2/+7It's called using your brain and thinking a bit. Everyone has a brain, just some are more expensive than others.
    • mithrasinvictus, on 05/19/2008, -0/+1How often have you done a double-take and found out is is not from the onion?
    • Katana314, on 05/19/2008, -0/+1Sigh...
      Believe whatever news seems reasonable to you. You should do no less in a world where we get fed all this stuff.
      Dangit, I sound like a hippy now, don't I?
    • Daedelus, on 05/19/2008, -0/+3Well I don't know about you, but on my screen it shows the host name of whatever site is right underneath the headline. It's pretty much been that way for as long as I can remember.
    • JohnnySoftware, on 06/19/2008, -0/+1Just "Bury" it as "Inaccurate". The Digg user interface already supports this.
  • Deodrus, on 05/19/2008, -1/+4hahaha ! I actually read the article without reading the headline or seeing The Onion logo. I read it twice because it made no sense. I was looking for a reason as to why the tomatoes had increased in price. Ah, you got me.
  • sailadayaway, on 05/19/2008, -0/+13Finally all my investments in genetic research has paid off!!
  • JLecker, on 05/19/2008, -1/+3Just think, with this knowledge, we can start making milk, water, or even oil more expensive! Imagine the possibilities!
    • curseoflou, on 05/19/2008, -2/+1look at what u did. now the emo kids are cutting themselves.
  • chkdg8, on 05/19/2008, -4/+1Nothing can stop you from growing your own food. This is part of a bigger plan.
    • str3ama, on 05/19/2008, -0/+3that's all good and well so long as you live somewhere that's warm all 12 months. It's kinda hard to have a garden when there's 12 inches of snow on the ground.
      • positron, on 05/19/2008, -0/+1Ever heard of pickling, preserves, jarring...?
  • str3ama, on 05/19/2008, -1/+1tomato profiteering..now that's a new one.
  • SgtSchizoid, on 05/19/2008, -0/+0Only if it wipes out misquitos too. NOT MY BLOOD!
  • fLUx1337, on 05/19/2008, -0/+11I feel sorry for people who have no idea what the onion is....

    I scratch my head until I realize, god knows what they are thinking while they are reading the article!
  • rahulkolasseri, on 05/19/2008, -7/+1Yeah, because all we need is a more expensive tomato while people are starving because of rising food prices.Really people? THIS is what we need?
    • lacronicus, on 05/19/2008, -0/+2Protip: don't believe everything you read on the internet.
      This actually brings up a good point, though. What if it was the New York Times, NBC, or some big website like that? Does that mean that their stories are inherently more credible than those of The Onion? Certainly, most of us know by now that the Onion is lying outright, but the others can just as easily post lies and deceit, and we take it as fact just because we read it.
      • fuzzynyanko, on 05/19/2008, -0/+131% more expensive... If I get 31% more tomato, well, I guess the genetic modification would be a weird thing to look at. Anyways, if you have a 31% more expensive tomato, but if it's larger or uses less things to grow it, it could very well help the food crisis. On another note: The Onion always catches me off guard.
  • edebolt, on 05/19/2008, -1/+5The sorry thing is a lot of people will be reading the story and thinking wow I knew it and i told you so before the rug gets pulled out underneath their reality distortion field. What percentage of readers dugg it and still don't know it was an onion story? Digg is sometimes like a compass on crazy pills.
  • ooloncolluphid, on 05/19/2008, -0/+4please, please put a "...possibly inaccurate..." warning.
    that would be truly hilarious.
  • spankaccount, on 05/19/2008, -0/+2CalTech Rocks.
  • xylix, on 05/19/2008, -7/+2I second the call for some kind of label to specify a link is satire. The Onion IS NOT NEWS. Why on earth do people continue posting Onion links on digg (under news)? Buried for being silly and misleading.
  • Scuzbucket, on 05/19/2008, -0/+0What has this world come to?
  • ttam, on 05/19/2008, -0/+2I know this is an Onion article, but GM foods really are more expensive to produce than your typical non-organic.
  • emenex, on 05/19/2008, -1/+0I love how it says in the last sentence that It will wipe out four species of lady bugs. Attack of the killer tomatoes!
  • ithejosh, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1The Onion never fails to make me laugh...
  • GRTWHT, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Just one request: if you post an onion article, post it under humor, where it belongs.
  • snohman, on 05/21/2008, -0/+1bigger is not better in this case...
  • JacknJill7, on 05/21/2008, -0/+0The unscrupulous development of a tomato that wipes out 4 species of ladybugs is also a firm indicator of the 4% of shoppers it will lose as most of us don't eat many tomatoes anyway! I propose that a Ladybug tax be added to compensate for such a loss at the rate of 4 times the 31% increase, hence 121% of $1.72 which would cause such a backlash in supermarkets that the demand for these 'ladykiller' tomatoes would suffer a plunge in sales thereby saving the four species of ladybugs it had cited for destruction. ::)
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