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151 Comments
- dave122, on 07/14/2008, -1/+112This forgot the worst offender of all.
bachelorette parties.
god I hate them, get out of my bar with your inflatable penises and obnoxiousness, no I will not give you a dollar for a blow pop. No we don't want to go to the next bar over with you. And no I'm not an ***** because I could care less that your fat friend is getting married, I just want you to get the hell out of here so I can drink in peace.
/rant - DeskFlyer, on 07/14/2008, -3/+103I used to be a bar manager for awhile so I have a few of my own I'd like to share:
You don't want to be:
-The guy sitting next to you who feels compelled to elbow you every time he begins a new sentence
-The guy sitting next to you who talks directly into your ear
-The guy who won't shut the ***** up (can be combined with the two above)
-The "Look at all the tattoos I got" guy.
-The guy who walks in from a round of bar-hopping, orders one drink, promptly vomits all over the place and wonders why he got cut off
-The guy who begs for another drink 10 minutes after last call.
-The guy who lounges in the only stall in the bathroom just to talk on his cell phone (always on a busy night)
-The guy who constantly asks you to change the channel on the TV
-The guy who can't read the dress code on the sign right outside the ***** door
Man, I just realized how many pet peeves I've developed over the years. I'll shut up now, I'm starting to sound like the third dude on my own list. ;) - BlackJackJester, on 07/15/2008, -1/+85I recommend being the wingman of a black guy. He'll go for the chunky girl, leaving the hot friend for you! (racism blah blah orange soda fried chicken)
- inactive, on 12/07/2008, -3/+54How can you forget the fat girl with all the hot friends who wants to leave and take them with her because a bar-full of free whiskey wouldn't even get you or your friends faded enough to put it in her mouth?
- lolmax, on 07/15/2008, -1/+46a possible runner up would be "drunk birthday girl and friends". She can barely talk, falls over, hugs everyone in the bar, knocks over her drink, tells people its her birthday every 5 minutes and generally acts like the queen of france.
hey friends of birthday girl...she already looks like ***** and is stumbling everywhere, wtf are you doing buying her yet another shot?
p.s. you're still ugly, even on your birthday - HuskyPuzzle, on 07/14/2008, -1/+46That little blonde hussie looks like she's got a bad attitude.
- daebat, on 07/14/2008, -5/+45i definitely hate the guy that steals your last cig.
- PhrosTT, on 07/15/2008, -0/+33No... bachelorette parties suck.
They will all pretend to be ***** and grind all over you. They will do shots with you and act completely slutty... but the minute you single one out and hit on her they get all uppity.
The whole pack moves in and attacks you ... "we're all going home together.! this is a girls night!! blah blah bla" - borez, on 07/15/2008, -2/+29The guy on coke ( when you're not )
- SnuKs, on 07/15/2008, -1/+28Um how can you forget these guys http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/paulguynj/gu ... ?!
- aluxe, on 07/15/2008, -0/+24"You noticed him checking you out a trip to the restroom to share lip-gloss with your friend ago."
Is that a sentence...? - PabloIV, on 07/15/2008, -2/+23I never thought this was a trend but I frequently go out with a black friend of mine, and this happens really quite often.
- rtcrooks, on 07/14/2008, -2/+21I think the photos got switched for "girl that thinks everyone is hitting on her" and "fat girl with high self esteem". Love the blue Marti Gras beads hottie!
- DeskFlyer, on 07/14/2008, -1/+20Never EVER give away your last cigarette!
- GorfTron, on 07/15/2008, -2/+21I hate -
The too cool guy from Kazakhstan with the sparkly shirt that dances insane.
The too smart guy that reads a novel at the end of the bar. Pfft! Reading in a bar...
The 'just got off work' guy in some kind of uniform like it makes him special.
The girls who act too good to be picked up only to go home an use a vibrator. - Iwantawii, on 07/15/2008, -1/+19they just want to DANCE
- inactive, on 07/14/2008, -2/+19What's #11? The guy who is the self-proclaimed digg boss and tells stories about WoW because he has nothing else to talk about? ;-)
- rtcrooks, on 07/14/2008, -3/+20The kind of attitude that can only fixed by [misogynistic sexual cliche].
- rtcrooks, on 07/15/2008, -2/+17You racist genius!
- Mossman85, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1511. Your wife with another man.
- inactive, on 07/14/2008, -1/+16What about the guy who puts his drink on your tab without you knowing and leaves before you are settle up and find out about the misdeed?
- krisscofield, on 07/15/2008, -1/+15Where's the "Ridiculously Loud Out-of-Place Gaggle of Frat Boys"?
- Cheesasaurus, on 07/15/2008, -2/+15Oh I'd [misogynistic sexual cliche] with her for [accepted duration of activity].
- rtcrooks, on 07/14/2008, -1/+14Valid.
- andrewtheart, on 07/15/2008, -1/+14What's with usernames with "cheese" in them???
- scaliacheese, on 07/15/2008, -0/+11That was an extremely bitchy list from a girl who is clearly full of herself. I think I'm in love.
- xptoast, on 07/15/2008, -0/+10Your alright pal. (Waits for the fun thread...) I enjoy hearing what people like and dislike and honestly those things should bug everyone with half a brain. I just want to have a good time and maybe talk to a few interesting people if the mood strikes me as well as laugh at all the stuck up people and the others that were on that list we just read. I absolutely dislike the women that think they are the *****. If you tell me your bf is meeting you then he never ends up there when I can clearly see he is not there then you are one heck of a bitch when all I wanted was to be friendly and see where things go. Never can have too many friends or nice people to chat with when you are done being silent.
Women need to learn this:
We all aren't ass-hats
We all don't want to hit on you
We all don't have massive problems we want to complain to you about
We all are not complete crazy fools
Some of us just want to be human and have a bit of fun and if things get hit off well see where it leads. Not all of us are out for a piece of tail. Although tail isn't bad...as long as you don't have anything and you yourself are not full of problems like the men you don't want to find. - iJessicaRabbit, on 07/15/2008, -0/+10rehab?
- saltydawkins, on 07/15/2008, -1/+10It's birthday girl's birthday, she gets a pass on the annoyance list. Birthday girl's friends though... they have got some explaining to do.
Seriously ladies NO ONE appreciates you buying her that last shot of Goldschlagger. The busboy doesn't because he knows who's going to have to clean up the gold-flecked mess in the ladies room. The bartender doesn't, but he sortta has it out for the busboy so he'll sell it to you anyway. The other patrons in the bar don't, but there's not a ***** of a lot they can do about it. Your designated driver/taxi driver certainly doesn't because the only thing more difficult to clean gold flecks and curly fries off of than a public restroom is the velveteen upholstery in the back of the yellow Caprice you'll be riding in later. No man in the bar does because your friend went from "hey, she's kinda cute. I'll buy her a birthday round and maybe get her number" to "holy hell! Who would tattoo asparagus onto their butt and what kind of girl would show it off on purpose?" Any man that came with you doesn't because he's pretty sure he's going to have to haul her up to her fourth floor walk-up, escape a sloppy attempt at a kiss, and put her to bed.
But most of all, Birthday Girl doesn't. She'll drink it - mostly because she's already drunk - but when the "funny" stories start surfacing (usually around four the next afternoon) she'll secretly want to kill you when she finds out what havoc that last shot caused.
We've all been Birthday Girl. Why put your friends through it too? Stop perpetuating the disaster! - Akaricloud, on 07/15/2008, -0/+9At which point she'd slap you and you'd go home to some porn.
- Slash0, on 07/14/2008, -2/+11Maybe you should just stay home, then.
- gordeaoux, on 07/15/2008, -1/+10also:
-The guy next to you who is so drunk it gets YOU cut off - jrburkh, on 07/15/2008, -0/+8Fat/ugly/older/married/etc. - there's one in every bunch, destined to ruin your fun because everyone is having it and she's not.
- tallulahvulture, on 07/15/2008, -0/+8she does not know how to apply bronzer.
- Fullvinyl, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7Yeah, but he'd still end up with more ***** (at least on the screen) than if he'd picked up that little skank.
- HookmasterCH47, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7I hate laughing at these posts and then realizing that I actually have fit a couple of the categories... ***** me.
- MikeyMoose, on 01/30/2009, -0/+7Does anyone proofread anymore? WTF is "You noticed him checking you out a trip to the restroom to share lip-gloss with your friend ago."?!?
- scaliacheese, on 07/15/2008, -2/+9[Accepted duration of activity]? Yeah, right! It would take [below average duration of activity] for you to [complete misogynistic sexual cliche], and that's if you don't [euphamism for premature completion of misogynistic sexual cliche] first!
- TheBuzzKiller, on 07/15/2008, -2/+9Sorry for not spelling a sound I heard correctly. I hope you will forgive me.
And I think it's called an "accent aigu" or an "acute accent" you ***** moron.
But at least you know your skin products. - Acglaphotis, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7Cheese is awesome.
- darny, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7I call *****. Too many in the wolfpack.
- dave122, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6if by divorced and socially inept you mean I like going out with my friends and girlfriend to have some drinks and a good time and not be annoyed by a bunch of dumb bitches... then yeah.
- somestranger26, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6You -can- delete your comments now.
- AlaskaLoneWolf, on 07/14/2008, -1/+7Amen.
- inactive, on 07/14/2008, -4/+10i might be the 11th, you are warned
- OtterStratton, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6D.U.F.F.
Designated Ugly Fat Friend - GorfTron, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5Now there is some logic "Lets go to a bar tonight. I am so sick of being hit on by drunk idiots!"
- TheBuzzKiller, on 07/15/2008, -1/+6OLAY, OLAY OLAY!!! GRUNT GRUNT .... OLAY, OLAY OLAY...
the drunken soccer douchebags that shout at the top of their lungs every time the batter slam-dunks the pigskin. - rtcrooks, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5who doesn't like cheese?
- ghebert, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5Guilty of #8 here...
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