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The 10 Drunk People You Don't Want To Meet At The Bar

sloshspot.com — These 10 social trainwrecks ensure your night out is anything but dull. The 10 people you don't want to meet at the bar make you feel that much better about yourself. Maybe you're being paid $11 an hour and wrote a bad check to the liquor store so that you have enough Popov for the weekend, but hey, at least you aren't one of these douchetastic...

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  • daebat, on 07/14/2008, -5/+44i definitely hate the guy that steals your last cig.
    • DeskFlyer, on 07/14/2008, -1/+18Never EVER give away your last cigarette!
    • Prescottonian, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4Depends who you are bumming to. Hell, I would give the shirt on my back to some friends if they asked for it. There is defiantly some karma because I have been out too.
    • tallulahvulture, on 07/15/2008, -1/+2yeah especially in london, they're ***** expensive
    • kledus, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Made this mistake to many times, can't help that im a generous person when im drunk.
    • STARTSOMETHING, on 07/15/2008, -2/+1Is that a guy or girl on the right?

      http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2395/2522959518_cfc ...
    • donkz, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3It's not a good manner to ask for a cig and actually take it if it's someone's last one. Never take last one!
    • sh4rk, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1One of my good freinds would bum at least 3-4 smokes out of every pack I had for like a year. Then the othernight we were drinking and I asked for a smoke and it was his last one, I had to make a big deal just for him to give it to me. Seriously If your gonna bum smokes all the time you gotta return the favor FFS!
    • mightymax38, on 07/15/2008, -0/+0yeah, i always turn down the last cig if i try to bum one of my buds and that happens. you do get brownie points for not taking it. I don't buy cigs i bum them off my friends and treat everybody to pizza when we're hungry at 1 AM. i get to stay a social smoker and repay for the mooching lolz.
  • NeoHomer, on 07/14/2008, -15/+310?? There ain't one that I would want to meet.
    • Slash0, on 07/14/2008, -2/+11Maybe you should just stay home, then.
  • HuskyPuzzle, on 07/14/2008, -1/+46That little blonde hussie looks like she's got a bad attitude.
    • rtcrooks, on 07/14/2008, -3/+20The kind of attitude that can only fixed by [misogynistic sexual cliche].
      • Cheesasaurus, on 07/15/2008, -2/+15Oh I'd [misogynistic sexual cliche] with her for [accepted duration of activity].
      • scaliacheese, on 07/15/2008, -2/+9[Accepted duration of activity]? Yeah, right! It would take [below average duration of activity] for you to [complete misogynistic sexual cliche], and that's if you don't [euphamism for premature completion of misogynistic sexual cliche] first!
      • andrewtheart, on 07/15/2008, -1/+12What's with usernames with "cheese" in them???
      • Acglaphotis, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6Cheese is awesome.
      • rtcrooks, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4who doesn't like cheese?
      • DeskFlyer, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2I'm from Wisconsin dude, you gotta problem with cheese????
    • lolmax, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4id tell her to grow some ***** and get back to me
      • Akaricloud, on 07/15/2008, -0/+8At which point she'd slap you and you'd go home to some porn.
      • Fullvinyl, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7Yeah, but he'd still end up with more ***** (at least on the screen) than if he'd picked up that little skank.
    • tallulahvulture, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7she does not know how to apply bronzer.
    • staystellar, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1just buy her a drink, perhaps it will loosen her up. haha
  • PointOfNoReturn, on 07/14/2008, -8/+3the glasses...ohhh they are so cool [NOT].. hope that i never meet one of them
    • ukoa, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1I'm sure you have nothing to worry about.
    • mhummel, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4Hey, when you're cool, the sun shine on you twenty-four hours a day.
  • AmyVernon, on 07/14/2008, -2/+5ha! well played.
  • dave122, on 07/14/2008, -1/+110This forgot the worst offender of all.

    bachelorette parties.

    god I hate them, get out of my bar with your inflatable penises and obnoxiousness, no I will not give you a dollar for a blow pop. No we don't want to go to the next bar over with you. And no I'm not an ***** because I could care less that your fat friend is getting married, I just want you to get the hell out of here so I can drink in peace.

    /rant
    • lolmax, on 07/15/2008, -7/+2this post not available.
    • sdub74, on 07/15/2008, -9/+10I don't know about you bro, but I go to the bar to pick up girls. And bachelorette parties are easy pickings my friend.

      Why else would you go somewhere to pay $5 for a beer when you can pick up a 6 pack for $10?
      • nocash23, on 07/15/2008, -8/+6dugg down because only jocks and douche bag frat guys say "bro". tool.
      • darny, on 07/15/2008, -0/+8I call *****. Too many in the wolfpack.
      • x0mb13, on 07/15/2008, -2/+3nocash23, really? those are your thoughts? your insight on identity speaks more about you than "jocks" and "douche bag frat guys"...bro.
      • centran, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2agree with darny.
        Ever heard the concept of a wingman? You need someone to distract the other girls because they protect each other.You would be lucky to get a phone number from a girl in a bachelorette party.

        To top it all off; the latest thing is to bring the mom's out. The ultra protectors. There is only one way to pull a girl with a mom around. That is if the mom is recently divorced. But then you might have to deal with the mom hitting on you.
      • nocash23, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1 what exactly does it say x0mb13? what would you say my "insight on identity" says about me? good job stating a half thought out response that goes nowhere and cowers away from actually making a point. oh and the bro at the end.... priceless. you really got me.
    • Funpolice2050, on 07/15/2008, -4/+3You must be the divorced socially inept guy.
      • dave122, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5if by divorced and socially inept you mean I like going out with my friends and girlfriend to have some drinks and a good time and not be annoyed by a bunch of dumb bitches... then yeah.
    • PhrosTT, on 07/15/2008, -0/+33No... bachelorette parties suck.

      They will all pretend to be ***** and grind all over you. They will do shots with you and act completely slutty... but the minute you single one out and hit on her they get all uppity.

      The whole pack moves in and attacks you ... "we're all going home together.! this is a girls night!! blah blah bla"
  • rtcrooks, on 07/14/2008, -2/+21I think the photos got switched for "girl that thinks everyone is hitting on her" and "fat girl with high self esteem". Love the blue Marti Gras beads hottie!
  • Klak, on 07/14/2008, -12/+7if you know the bartender you deserve to be in line first.
    • electricwaffles, on 07/14/2008, -1/+2That doesn't make him less annoying.
    • cryslewis, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3 You know a few bartenders, huh? Don't feel bad everyone has their annoying moments, you're not alone.
  • diggboss, on 07/14/2008, -4/+10i might be the 11th, you are warned
    • starsarebent, on 07/14/2008, -2/+18What's #11? The guy who is the self-proclaimed digg boss and tells stories about WoW because he has nothing else to talk about? ;-)
  • sukmydigg, on 07/14/2008, -3/+54How can you forget the fat girl with all the hot friends who wants to leave and take them with her because a bar-full of free whiskey wouldn't even get you or your friends faded enough to put it in her mouth?
    • rtcrooks, on 07/14/2008, -1/+14Valid.
    • AlaskaLoneWolf, on 07/14/2008, -1/+7Amen.
    • jrburkh, on 07/15/2008, -0/+9Fat/ugly/older/married/etc. - there's one in every bunch, destined to ruin your fun because everyone is having it and she's not.
      • fireburner23, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Hopefully she qualifies in the MILF/DILF/WILF category then that isn't so bad.
    • OtterStratton, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6D.U.F.F.

      Designated Ugly Fat Friend
  • mikesbaker, on 07/14/2008, -1/+16What about the guy who puts his drink on your tab without you knowing and leaves before you are settle up and find out about the misdeed?
    • xptoast, on 07/15/2008, -2/+2Hm...that is actually quite funny...unless it is done to you. Good thing I don't get a tab and only drink the soda and water. Me and being drunk are not good friends..crazy things happen and ruin peoples night including mine. Everyone likes different states of mind. Woo!! Let's party!!!
  • DeskFlyer, on 07/14/2008, -3/+101I used to be a bar manager for awhile so I have a few of my own I'd like to share:

    You don't want to be:

    -The guy sitting next to you who feels compelled to elbow you every time he begins a new sentence
    -The guy sitting next to you who talks directly into your ear
    -The guy who won't shut the ***** up (can be combined with the two above)
    -The "Look at all the tattoos I got" guy.
    -The guy who walks in from a round of bar-hopping, orders one drink, promptly vomits all over the place and wonders why he got cut off
    -The guy who begs for another drink 10 minutes after last call.
    -The guy who lounges in the only stall in the bathroom just to talk on his cell phone (always on a busy night)
    -The guy who constantly asks you to change the channel on the TV
    -The guy who can't read the dress code on the sign right outside the ***** door

    Man, I just realized how many pet peeves I've developed over the years. I'll shut up now, I'm starting to sound like the third dude on my own list. ;)
    • gordeaoux, on 07/15/2008, -1/+9also:
      -The guy next to you who is so drunk it gets YOU cut off
    • xptoast, on 07/15/2008, -0/+10Your alright pal. (Waits for the fun thread...) I enjoy hearing what people like and dislike and honestly those things should bug everyone with half a brain. I just want to have a good time and maybe talk to a few interesting people if the mood strikes me as well as laugh at all the stuck up people and the others that were on that list we just read. I absolutely dislike the women that think they are the *****. If you tell me your bf is meeting you then he never ends up there when I can clearly see he is not there then you are one heck of a bitch when all I wanted was to be friendly and see where things go. Never can have too many friends or nice people to chat with when you are done being silent.

      Women need to learn this:

      We all aren't ass-hats
      We all don't want to hit on you
      We all don't have massive problems we want to complain to you about
      We all are not complete crazy fools

      Some of us just want to be human and have a bit of fun and if things get hit off well see where it leads. Not all of us are out for a piece of tail. Although tail isn't bad...as long as you don't have anything and you yourself are not full of problems like the men you don't want to find.
      • cryslewis, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3xptoast, i think i love you.
      • AngelX, on 07/15/2008, -2/+2Okay, great, I'm all up for a friendly conversation, but when you spend half the night having a "friendly chat" with a female, then she excuses herself to take a phone call from her boyfriend (or something along those lines) she is then automatically called a "cocktease" or a bitch.

        Maybe you're different, and that's great, but the MAJORITY of guys don't have lengthy conversations with drunk chicks at bars to "make friends". Just keep that in mind next time you get your panties in a twist over a girl who gives you the "I have a boyfriend" line.
      • xptoast, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Two weekends ago I talked to a nice girl after getting bitched at by a girl that said, "I'm engaged, don't ***** talk to me." and the girl was quite nice. Then she said she was there with her bf and introduced me to him and he was quite nice too. Then we all had a good time dancing and chatting about crap and dancing with a bunch of other people. Then later I asked if they wanted to go out with me and my girl sometime and so now I have two new friends that are down to earth and not completely insane. That is what is good about being friendly. I would like to chat with a girl...not for the whole night. That is not why I am out but it is partially why. I like to have a good mixed up night of: music, dancing, chatting with people, walking around, enjoying the environment, watching crazies do funny things, etc. Not all night of just one thing though cause that is intensely boring.
  • Jared80KA, on 07/15/2008, -8/+2#11 - Your mom.
  • NathanMahdavi, on 07/15/2008, -8/+3“Excuse me”, you say. She looks you up and down, gives a disgusted look and claims, “I have a boyfriend!” Relax bitch, I just asked if you could move your fat ass out of the way because I have to take a ***** and you’re blocking the bathroom door.
  • borez, on 07/15/2008, -2/+27The guy on coke ( when you're not )
    • PabloIV, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4You're getting dugg down because coke heads are always good for a fun time.
      • borez, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4Drinks a drug, cokes a drug. No difference to me really.
      • notwizt, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1A bike is a vehicle, an M1 Abrams is a vehicle. No difference to me really.
    • wampalord, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2They don't have a good bathroom to do coke in
  • antileet, on 07/15/2008, -3/+7Where's Lindsay Lohan?
  • lolmax, on 07/15/2008, -1/+44a possible runner up would be "drunk birthday girl and friends". She can barely talk, falls over, hugs everyone in the bar, knocks over her drink, tells people its her birthday every 5 minutes and generally acts like the queen of france.

    hey friends of birthday girl...she already looks like ***** and is stumbling everywhere, wtf are you doing buying her yet another shot?

    p.s. you're still ugly, even on your birthday
    • jrburkh, on 07/15/2008, -4/+5Come on, why all the hostility? Nobody wants to be from France.
      • xptoast, on 07/15/2008, -2/+2That was just an awesome comment. Nice play.
    • saltydawkins, on 07/15/2008, -1/+10It's birthday girl's birthday, she gets a pass on the annoyance list. Birthday girl's friends though... they have got some explaining to do.
      Seriously ladies NO ONE appreciates you buying her that last shot of Goldschlagger. The busboy doesn't because he knows who's going to have to clean up the gold-flecked mess in the ladies room. The bartender doesn't, but he sortta has it out for the busboy so he'll sell it to you anyway. The other patrons in the bar don't, but there's not a ***** of a lot they can do about it. Your designated driver/taxi driver certainly doesn't because the only thing more difficult to clean gold flecks and curly fries off of than a public restroom is the velveteen upholstery in the back of the yellow Caprice you'll be riding in later. No man in the bar does because your friend went from "hey, she's kinda cute. I'll buy her a birthday round and maybe get her number" to "holy hell! Who would tattoo asparagus onto their butt and what kind of girl would show it off on purpose?" Any man that came with you doesn't because he's pretty sure he's going to have to haul her up to her fourth floor walk-up, escape a sloppy attempt at a kiss, and put her to bed.
      But most of all, Birthday Girl doesn't. She'll drink it - mostly because she's already drunk - but when the "funny" stories start surfacing (usually around four the next afternoon) she'll secretly want to kill you when she finds out what havoc that last shot caused.
      We've all been Birthday Girl. Why put your friends through it too? Stop perpetuating the disaster!
  • scaliacheese, on 07/15/2008, -0/+11That was an extremely bitchy list from a girl who is clearly full of herself. I think I'm in love.
  • Rikkochet, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4Who exactly is left off this list? You have people who want to talk to other people and people who want to be left alone.
    Author sounds like a spoiled *****.
  • Ilyanep, on 07/15/2008, -3/+5Alright no that was a stupid comment I just put up. --Removed--
    • somestranger26, on 07/15/2008, -0/+6You -can- delete your comments now.
  • BlackJackJester, on 07/15/2008, -1/+84I recommend being the wingman of a black guy. He'll go for the chunky girl, leaving the hot friend for you! (racism blah blah orange soda fried chicken)
    • rtcrooks, on 07/15/2008, -2/+18You racist genius!
    • PabloIV, on 07/15/2008, -2/+23I never thought this was a trend but I frequently go out with a black friend of mine, and this happens really quite often.

    • Vito82, on 07/15/2008, -8/+1Juat Flat out Racist, even if you do try to make light of it man.
      • BlackJackJester, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2That was the point....but sometimes stereotypes are true. My black roommate has voices his preference for larger girls (while I cannot substantiate this claim, it is still true).
      • cryslewis, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2BlackJack speaks the truth gentlemen, i have an adopted black brother and a number of black male friends and they all voice the same preference.
    • miggie, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Black guys like big boobs and a butt. But can someone explain the orange soda thing to me. I'm black and I never heard of it until Harald and Kumor
      • BlackJackJester, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Check out Undercover Brother.
      • ran24, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Isn't it grape soda/drink?
      • DeskFlyer, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1"Black guys like big boobs and a butt.'

        Black guys like fat women.* Fixed.
    • donkz, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3... i just pissed orange soda

      o_0
    • BedPost, on 07/15/2008, -1/+2Dude, come on, it's not orange soda, it's all about the purple drank.
    • Gudeldar, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Purple drink is definitely not the same thing as grape soda.
  • wannapiece, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4YES! I made it to the list, they must know me well to put me at #8
  • jeffinfremont, on 07/15/2008, -2/+3How about the occasional pack of idiots who feel it necessary to give drinking night a theme? Is this due to their incredible need for attention, or their discomfort about not having a reason to go drinking (which is *****, you drink to get drunk)?

    For example, I was at my favorite bar watching the ballgame and chatting it up with the bartender, and in walks this whole boatload of jokers dressed up like Payne Stewart. They all had the plaid sweaters, and leggings, and the hat. They filled up the bar for about a half hour while they had a drink and destroyed the ambiance, then thankfully left, probably on to irritate the staff and regulars of the next bar down the street.
  • PabloIV, on 07/15/2008, -1/+2mirror?
  • GorfTron, on 07/15/2008, -2/+21I hate -
    The too cool guy from Kazakhstan with the sparkly shirt that dances insane.
    The too smart guy that reads a novel at the end of the bar. Pfft! Reading in a bar...
    The 'just got off work' guy in some kind of uniform like it makes him special.
    The girls who act too good to be picked up only to go home an use a vibrator.
    • siobhankeogh, on 07/15/2008, -6/+2those girls would rather use a vibrator and get off than go home with some drunken idiot who doesn't know what he's doing, fyi.
      • GorfTron, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5Now there is some logic "Lets go to a bar tonight. I am so sick of being hit on by drunk idiots!"
    • donkz, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1You probably need to change bars. I agree with you, but if you see those kinds of people... change bars!
    • chugatussin, on 07/15/2008, -0/+0Reading a novel in a barÉ Where do you liveÉ
  • TheBuzzKiller, on 07/15/2008, -1/+7OLAY, OLAY OLAY!!! GRUNT GRUNT .... OLAY, OLAY OLAY...

    the drunken soccer douchebags that shout at the top of their lungs every time the batter slam-dunks the pigskin.
    • JakeyG14, on 07/15/2008, -4/+2OLE (accented "e") you ***** moron; OLAY is an anti-aging moisturiser.
      • TheBuzzKiller, on 07/15/2008, -2/+9Sorry for not spelling a sound I heard correctly. I hope you will forgive me.

        And I think it's called an "accent aigu" or an "acute accent" you ***** moron.

        But at least you know your skin products.
      • JakeyG14, on 07/15/2008, -2/+1http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/accented

        Definition 4...I was using the right word, 'tard.

        Also, you quite obviously searched the net for your "general knowledge" seeing as you named the correct type of accent, when before you were oblivious to an accent being used.

        ps FYI, I searched the net to confirm what I already knew so don't try to twist that.
  • aluxe, on 07/15/2008, -0/+22"You noticed him checking you out a trip to the restroom to share lip-gloss with your friend ago."

    Is that a sentence...?
    • iJessicaRabbit, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2lol I was trying to figure that one out too
  • darny, on 07/15/2008, -2/+6best list in a long time.
  • HookmasterCH47, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7I hate laughing at these posts and then realizing that I actually have fit a couple of the categories... ***** me.
  • krisscofield, on 07/15/2008, -1/+14Where's the "Ridiculously Loud Out-of-Place Gaggle of Frat Boys"?
    • thelock65, on 07/15/2008, -0/+3im right ***** here, ready to fight anyone who pisses me or my ''bros'' off
    • tuffguy, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1jaegar bombs, jaegar bombs, jaegar bombs! i ***** shower in that *****, bro.
  • BehnoodMarvazi, on 07/15/2008, -8/+4I don't think most digg users go to bars.
  • SnuKs, on 07/15/2008, -1/+25Um how can you forget these guys http://i76.photobucket.com/albums/j12/paulguynj/gu ... ?!
  • Fixthemedia, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Cool how they link to the source.
  • Mossman85, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1411. Your wife with another man.
  • Croecop, on 07/15/2008, -1/+3I'm pretty sure I am all of those
  • secondfiddle, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1The moron with broken english yelling at the band to play Bob Seger, don't look him in the eye.
  • PhrosTT, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2definitely been the bartenders friend way too many times.... altho i try to not be a douche about it.

    actually i just end up paying more than regular customers since i always have to tip so damn much.
  • staystellar, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2the huge sweaty guy that asks for hugs... ewwwwwww.........
  • spankr, on 07/15/2008, -0/+7Does anyone proofread anymore? WTF is "You noticed him checking you out a trip to the restroom to share lip-gloss with your friend ago."?!?
    • Hawesome, on 07/15/2008, -3/+0It means as if she was saying "You noticed him checking her out awhile ago" - It's called creative writing you DOUCHE BAG
      • BonersMilloy, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4Ummmm, no i'm sure even the writer of the article would acknowledge that its just a grammar mistake.
      • spankr, on 07/29/2008, -0/+1Uh, yeah - "creative" - not in the artistic sense, but rather in the "I just created a whole new set of rules for the English language" kind of way...

  • juliaperesypko, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1haa.. nice)))
  • justinx0r, on 07/15/2008, -4/+2They should widen the fat girls with self esteem category to encompass all fat girls.
    • dshigure, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2I wonder which ranks higher: fat girl with self esteem, or digger with nothing better to do than to than to anonymously insult people for their weight.
  • K7Avenger, on 07/15/2008, -1/+1Every party has the girl that thinks every guy is into her. ***** bitch.
  • sapphire9488, on 07/15/2008, -0/+0Damn it, I hate #6! I always run in to them whenever I go out.

    Number 5s are funny... I always make fun of them, but are glad they actually feel so great about themselves. You know, the "I feel kinda bad for finding this humorous" laugh?
  • crossmr, on 07/15/2008, -1/+4if you don't want to meet drunk people, don't go to a bar...
    • rtcrooks, on 07/15/2008, -1/+3Your wisdom is beyond words.
    • dontsaycrikey, on 07/15/2008, -2/+0Wow. I have chills. I wish I had a ***** pen.
  • ghebert, on 07/15/2008, -0/+4Guilty of #8 here...
    • ch1x0r3r, on 07/15/2008, -0/+5Me too. As soon as I've got enough drinks in me, it's straight to the cheesy 80s tracks for me.
  • anarcurt, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Fake tan Jersey Guido's
  • novenator, on 07/15/2008, -0/+2Good article from a fellow drunk
  • basawyer, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Dugg for "asshat"
  • wooben, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1If you've never met one of the 10, you're one of them.

    Also, I'm not on the list.
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