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Some poor sucker reviews Cheeseburger-In-A-Can (+PICS)

forums.somethingawful.com — "As I am in Germany I just checked if there is a store carrying these products, and there really is a store just 5 minutes away. So, in my lunchbreak I'll check if they have the canned cheesburger, buy it and open it (and if they don't have them then I will order one). Then I alone will know the secrets what really is in there"

Bury
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  • Fixthemedia, on 01/31/2008, -16/+214and if you dont like the taste, you can just have sex with it.
    • RealmDown, on 01/31/2008, -2/+23Watch out for those aluminum edges. Sharp.
      • blindmelon1, on 01/31/2008, -1/+1Wat doe je als je gaat reizen door onherbergzaam gebied, maar niet zonder je dagelijkse dosis fastfood kunt?

        The "fastfood kunt" bit made me laugh! :)
    • leerayIG88, on 01/31/2008, -28/+4*fap* *fap* *fap*
    • MindStalker, on 01/31/2008, -6/+2The guy mentions at the end that its expensive but doesn't say the price. Anyone know?
      • sr3yas, on 01/31/2008, -2/+33.95 Euros
      • mabba18, on 01/31/2008, -0/+14You can see the price tag in one of the pics: €3.99
      • tgoose, on 01/31/2008, -0/+34 Euros
      • Tarnum, on 01/31/2008, -0/+8$5.86
      • mrASSMAN, on 01/31/2008, -0/+13Holy crap, for that price you might as well buy a real premium cheeseburger at a restaurant. (6 US dollars)
        • Pelapp, on 02/01/2008, -0/+4I don't think they have resturants, in the places this is supposed to be consumed.
      • Girlieq3, on 01/31/2008, -0/+25I don't see how 5 different prices come from 3.95 euros that it says on the can. Really not that difficult folks.
        • AngryAngryBrian, on 02/01/2008, -0/+38You have underestimated how quickly the dollar is fluctuating right now.
        • 1randomguy08, on 02/01/2008, -6/+2These are the same people who believe sept 11 was an inside job.
        • Tickitata, on 02/01/2008, -4/+012.0 euro!
      • EmileVictor, on 02/01/2008, -0/+6I rate this - he's right in saying that having something like this is really good if you're hiking. There's often nothing that you crave more than greasy crappy food when you're on a long hike.
      • GuyHitByTruck, on 02/01/2008, -1/+2I could buy 5 double cheeseburgers at McDonalds for that price! ($5.86 USD)
    • mygans, on 01/31/2008, -2/+10gawd......sorry Fixthemedia i cant read your comments with those zits....i am scrolling down...bye
      • Zephik, on 02/01/2008, -0/+5*turns off adblock*

        eww...

        *turns adblock back on*
    • moxley, on 01/31/2008, -9/+1I know you're kidding - but
      ...he's German living in Germany, and judging by the videos that come out of there he's gonna be ***** it before he even tastes it.
    • adooga, on 02/01/2008, -3/+2That's what she said.
    • Zephik, on 02/01/2008, -1/+2Looks like someone already did...
  • sjbdallas, on 01/31/2008, -5/+60I've eaten things that look worse.
    • Cyberdactyl, on 01/31/2008, -0/+16You mean the meals with 30 pound hams on either side of your head?
      • drpcken, on 01/31/2008, -0/+6I'm in Tennessee, average ham size here is about 70 lbs
    • maretten, on 01/31/2008, -9/+2I've seen sillier penises.
    • Matteos, on 01/31/2008, -3/+9Your mom?
    • drpcken, on 01/31/2008, -1/+2I'm intrigued by this concept, I'm not sure why. Been following it since the first digg appeared this this week.
    • drpcken, on 01/31/2008, -0/+5I had my tonsils taken out last Wednesday and haven't had any real food since. I would tear this up.
    • anogenic, on 02/01/2008, -1/+2It looks like great 2am digg surfing food.
    • quaxon, on 02/01/2008, -2/+5compared to what most german food looks like this canned cheeseburger is a glorious delight. i was close to heaving watching last weeks bourdain.
    • filefly, on 02/01/2008, -0/+7http://threefifths.net/dump/izcheezeburger.jpg
  • Privil3g3, on 01/31/2008, -25/+4i really expected it to look like the end result of 2girls1can...I scares me how normal the bun looks!
  • Climber3, on 01/31/2008, -15/+107That actually looks better to me than a McDonald's cheeseburger. At least the bun isn't all smashed down like my double cheeseburgers tend to be.
    • clintard, on 01/31/2008, -17/+38yet you STILL eat there?
    • tidu, on 01/31/2008, -31/+91"yet you STILL eat there?"

      I hate this anti-mcdonald's stuff. If you don't like it, don't eat there. if you like the taste of the food, eat there. We've been doing it for decades, almost a century, and we've been fine as long as you control yourself. You people think you're so special because you watched "Super-size me" and you got all the "inside info". Guess what, everyone else saw that movie too.
      • akkibaba, on 01/31/2008, -10/+41Climber3 criticized the mcdonalds double cheeseburger, so clintard asked him why he continues to eat there.

        Where's the elitism here?
        • sapo916, on 01/31/2008, -8/+6He said the bun is smashed and it looks better. He never said he doesn't like the food, he was only referring to to how it looks.
        • mdmadph, on 02/01/2008, -2/+1God names people pick on Digg are so ***** stupid sounding. (Mine is too unintelligible to be stupid.)
      • MindTrigger, on 01/31/2008, -10/+36What the hell are you talking about? Those of us who are older than 13 seconds ago remember back when Mc Donalds used to make fresh food and it tasted pretty damn good. The ***** you retards suck down now isn't even actually "cooked" on site, it's reheated. All their burgers are precooked frozen ***** patties that are nuked or steamed back to life for your eating pleasure. If you are actually paying to eat there, you should consider getting a lobotomy. How's that for elitism?
      • moush, on 02/01/2008, -2/+3mcdonalds is cool when you're a kid because they have kids meals in the shapes of houses, give toys, and have play places. Once you're old enough to have tasted decent food, you shouldn't eat at mcdonalds ever again.
      • Metal_Hurlant, on 02/01/2008, -2/+3[crocker]LEAVE RONALD ALONE!@!!!!![/crocker]

    • gravylookout, on 02/01/2008, -0/+24For some reason I Imagined it turning out in the shape of the can. Like cranberry sauce.
      • Fritzed, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1It would probably taste better if it held the shape of the can. Just like cranberry sauce.
    • arcooke, on 02/01/2008, -6/+10Wendy's > McDonalds
      • Fritzed, on 02/01/2008, -3/+1Oh, SNAP!
        You just got served (a cheap hamburger)
      • lintmonkey, on 02/01/2008, -2/+3grease = grease
      • MuletTheGreat, on 02/01/2008, -0/+2no,

        Wendy's Price >^10 McDonald's Price.

        Oh wait. Im in australia so our wendies only serve hotdogs and icecream. mybad.
      • ilves7, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1In and Out > Jack in the Box > Wendy's > Burger King > Mcdonalds... i'm not getting even started on taco bell and del taco in that list.
    • MuletTheGreat, on 02/01/2008, -0/+2I work at McDonalds and only have this to say:

      Meh.

  • 10scott10, on 01/31/2008, -14/+4the bun scares me.
    it is far too perfect to be natural.

    I prefer canned bacon though
    • kurosen, on 01/31/2008, -4/+35natural? oh i'm sorry, i didn't know hamburger buns could be grown....
      • jjb123, on 01/31/2008, -3/+3Um, wheat?
        • chiefbandit2200, on 01/31/2008, -1/+3Wheat =/= hamburger bun. Everything is made out of something natural (or made out of something that was made out of something natural, etc.), but that doesn't mean you can grow everything...
  • 10scott10, on 01/31/2008, -49/+246I can haz can Cheezberger
    • InSectWar, on 01/31/2008, -28/+323I haz can cheezberger?
      • corneliusJones, on 01/31/2008, -12/+27i logged in to digg you
        • elscorcho717, on 02/01/2008, -7/+3..and yet that's all you could come up with?
      • SLockhart, on 02/01/2008, -0/+4I opened the comments to say "I haz can cheezburger" would be much more clever. Good work.
    • Adma1, on 01/31/2008, -12/+95I HAZ CANBURGER!
    • STKD, on 01/31/2008, -13/+7*Insert burger/can joke here in during post production*
    • MindTrigger, on 01/31/2008, -5/+30Jesus, this place is looking more like YouTube comments every day....
      • Kloud, on 02/01/2008, -2/+6The average age of Diggers is getting younger.
    • HAKdragon, on 01/31/2008, -2/+14Do not want!
    • GenericJoshman, on 02/01/2008, -4/+2Obligatory.
    • Fritzed, on 02/01/2008, -6/+1Request to be buried.
    • PathDaemon, on 02/01/2008, -2/+1He haz canned cheezburger?
    • ElbertF, on 02/01/2008, -0/+5You're all wrong. It's:

      CAN HAZ CHEESBURGER.
      • anarchyx34, on 02/01/2008, -0/+2WRONG. I HAZ CAN CHEESBURGER.... think about it for a sec.... Funny huh?
  • andywebb95, on 01/31/2008, -2/+91Looks less horrible than I thought it would.
    But I still wouldn't eat it.
    • domokunt, on 01/31/2008, -1/+24Soggy bun for the lose
      • supermanred, on 01/31/2008, -1/+28Unless you toast it a bit after boiling on your campfire, this would be good when out in the wilderness.

        Hell, if it keeps long (no mention of article when the best before date was) I would throw a few into a survival kit....

        Day 10: Everyone else is out of food. We're having cheeseburgers... in a can.
        • Metatron197, on 01/31/2008, -1/+1I wouldn't they would add a lot of extra weight
          • RexMaxus, on 01/31/2008, -0/+9Yes, but they also add a lot of extra bragging rights.
        • wellyuk, on 01/31/2008, -4/+2If you were out in the wilderness, a can of cheeseburger would probably be close to the last thing you'd want in your survival kit. The nutritional value of that can of burger must be close to nil.
        • inbred, on 02/01/2008, -0/+3Not a smart idea. You'll be the first one they choose to eat as they'll hope they could taste the cheeseburger goodness in your meat, which you can.
    • AmICoolNow, on 02/01/2008, -0/+11That's what she said.
  • StaticVector, on 01/31/2008, -21/+4I haz can Cheezberger: http://www.trekking-mahlzeiten.de/trekking-mahlzei ...
  • csfreakazoid, on 01/31/2008, -1/+13I would eat that if they shipped to the US
    • wapee, on 01/31/2008, -1/+191. Order a bunch of cheeseburger-in-can
      2. Resell to diggers in the US
      3. Profit!

      Just reply to make an order.
      • itsgotyou, on 01/31/2008, -0/+14i'll have the double canned royale. or is it the double royale can?
      • dpowre, on 01/31/2008, -2/+54you mean
        1. Order a bunch of cheeseburger-in-can
        2. Resell to diggers in the US
        3. ?????
        4. Profit!
        • wapee, on 01/31/2008, -3/+4I've seen it a couple of times before. So I thought it would be a nice thing to copy.
          What exactly is the difference?
    • genovais, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1Not for $5+
  • KYLIEISNEET0, on 01/31/2008, -17/+7NO NO NO.

    am i the only one who is seriously disturbed by the whole cheeseburger-in-a-can thing?
    its so messed up..
    • nepawoods, on 01/31/2008, -1/+35It's intended for backpackers and such. Not for everyday consumption.
      • snotrokit, on 01/31/2008, -15/+2Why the hell would ANYONE eat something that was not for "everyday" consumption?
        What, you eat one and your OK, eat 3 and you drop dead where you sat down and ate it?
        • Factionrider, on 01/31/2008, -0/+11Are powerbars and MREs (granted MREs are actually pretty good) food for every day consumption? No, they're intended for when you aren't in a situation where you can cook normally. Hiking, backpacking etc.
        • MindStalker, on 01/31/2008, -1/+6Trust me backpacking food is NEVER intended for everyday consumption. But honestly this isn't good backpacking food either, you don't want to be caught in the middle of nowhere with food poisoning.
        • nepawoods, on 02/01/2008, -0/+6"Why the hell would ANYONE eat something that was not for "everyday" consumption?"

          Because they need to eat, and the stuff that's meant for everyday consumption isn't available or practical in the given situation.
    • BabaRamDass, on 02/01/2008, -0/+5Says the great-grandson of the guy who ranted about individually-wrapped cheese slices...
  • Topher06, on 01/31/2008, -3/+34Hmm, got to love a burger with sponge in it.
    • DreKor, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Yeah, i was wondering exactly which part of that was the sponge. Maybe it was something left in the bottom of the can?
  • patrickxbateman, on 01/31/2008, -4/+9The bottom part of that bun looked mighty soggy. I'll pass.
    • FlyingSpaghetti, on 01/31/2008, -1/+20That's all the excess flavor that settled in the bottom of the can.
    • domokunt, on 01/31/2008, -1/+9Think of it: half burger half pudding!
      • asauterChicago, on 01/31/2008, -0/+10Burger pudding. That idea is full of win...
    • sapo916, on 01/31/2008, -0/+5His cooking method could be improved he even admitted that he flipped the can with only 2 mins left of cooking time.
  • Unclekoolaid, on 01/31/2008, -6/+22No worse then a Slider
  • plasticated, on 01/31/2008, -9/+7Ugh... somethingawful is the perfect site to host these pictures :)
    • PleaseJustDie, on 01/31/2008, -1/+7Somethingawful is a great site, gives me a few minutes of enjoyment at least once a week (photoshop phriday)
    • smacksaw, on 01/31/2008, -1/+15I'm just glad a SA Goon risked their life to eat this instead of a real person that matters. =O

      Just kidding Forum Goons. I love you all.
    • fartbuttes, on 02/01/2008, -0/+4heh yeah you might even say its SOMETHING AWFUL haha get it cause that's the name of the site? lmao i'm hilarious
  • GravityExNihilo, on 01/31/2008, -11/+6It's hilarious that you actually cook this in a frying pan, like you would a hamburger patty.
    • LeRenard, on 01/31/2008, -2/+23As opposed tooo... cooking it in the fridge?
    • clintard, on 01/31/2008, -2/+15I'm pretty sure he boiled it there genious.
      • ghunt, on 01/31/2008, -10/+3It said on the can you can either boil it or fry it,l earn to spell before you try to insult someone d-bag.
        • tradwolley, on 01/31/2008, -0/+17Does anyone else find this comment ironic?
      • smacksaw, on 01/31/2008, -1/+6It's "genius" you genious?
    • TecK415, on 01/31/2008, -1/+1I Think what he is saying is that it takes the same amount of time as it would to cook a fresh ***** burger. Why would you eat a soggy burger when you could just make one in the same amount of time?
      • jon02129, on 02/01/2008, -0/+3This canburger is for camping and amazing adventured and such where you wouldn't have some raw meat and burger condiments with you.
    • GravityExNihilo, on 02/01/2008, -1/+1I guess I was a bit too subtle in my joke, oh well.
  • mightydavefish, on 01/31/2008, -3/+140Hats off to the bravery of this intrepid culinary adventurer!
    • doctechnical, on 01/31/2008, -3/+26Agreed. You are a braver man than I, Honk.
      Now awaiting a report on how the other end of the digestive tract responds.
  • matthewkg, on 01/31/2008, -4/+43...I'm lovin' it.
  • soulknowledge, on 01/31/2008, -2/+17I bet Darwin would have never predicted the evolution of the Spamburger
    • supermanred, on 01/31/2008, -0/+3No, this one is definitely intelligent design. Designed by Germans or Swiss I think... cheesburger in a can does not come about by random genetic variation.
  • AriaStar, on 01/31/2008, -18/+22Because MrBabyMan is one of the whiners crying about not getting to control Digg, I'm burying this as lame.
  • dogstar0125, on 01/31/2008, -41/+5Am I the only one here thinking "Who gives a flying ***** about this?"
    • corneliusJones, on 01/31/2008, -4/+29yes.
    • greenlight2001, on 01/31/2008, -3/+12No, I'm sure there are other non-adventurous asshats like yourself out there.
      • dorkslayer, on 01/31/2008, -2/+3You think eating canned food makes you adventurous? You must lead the most boring life imaginable.
        • greenlight2001, on 02/01/2008, -5/+2Nah, your mom keeps me entertained.
    • Maciula, on 01/31/2008, -7/+6If you really didn't give a ***** about this, then I'm sure that you wouldn't even bother to make a comment.
    • PleaseJustDie, on 01/31/2008, -3/+10yes
  • jjb123, on 01/31/2008, -5/+2Mirror please?
  • mrsims82, on 01/31/2008, -6/+1sites down already....
  • hansk, on 01/31/2008, -0/+9its better than i imagined, i figured it would have been a slimy gross half liquid mash
  • misterpurple, on 01/31/2008, -6/+3http://www.duggmirror.com
  • saberforce, on 01/31/2008, -1/+5It got a mention here too...
    http://www.wisebread.com/blergh-could-you-eat-thes ...
    Although I'd rather do the cheeseburger than the Pork Brains in Milk Gravy. Yikes.
  • snotrokit, on 01/31/2008, -9/+1Some poor sucker has a crappy server.
    down after 220 diggs.
  • zoxx, on 01/31/2008, -0/+88For some reason my favorite part of this is that the guy had a candle lit in the background. Keepin' it classy.
  • scooterMX, on 01/31/2008, -1/+12I had one of these in Italy. It's not so much that the taste is bad, it's just that every part of it tastes the same as the other parts. Plus, the 'texture' is something between wet dough and putty.
    • MiamiRox, on 02/01/2008, -0/+2I'm almost sure that if you stuck it in a toaster oven (not a toaster, not a microwave) that it would fix the sogginess.
  • rubbers0ul, on 01/31/2008, -1/+19yet another reason to love SA goons...
  • RatherDashing, on 01/31/2008, -0/+13frozen white castle hamburgers FTW
    /god-damn-delicious
    • paintpro, on 01/31/2008, -0/+2Damnit. Now I have to go to the store...brb
    • gaucho4, on 02/02/2008, -0/+1Now I need to catch a flight back to Michigan to get fresh White Castles! No White Castle restaurants where I'm living now. :(
  • Gromdul, on 01/31/2008, -0/+4Is it any worse than a cheeseburger out of a vending mahine?
    • gaucho4, on 02/02/2008, -0/+1Ugh, brings back memories of all the late nights I've been pulling at work.
  • diggbk, on 01/31/2008, -0/+2read the ingredients list, there is a lot more than just beef in that patty.
    • supermanred, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Can anyone translate this?

      • enclaved, on 01/31/2008, -0/+4lesen Sie die Bestandteile verzeichnen, dort sind viel mehr als gerade Rindfleisch in diesem Pastetchen.
    • Tarnum, on 01/31/2008, -1/+5Preservatives. Preservatives. Coloring agent. Flavor enhancer. Preservatives. Taste enhancer. Anti-coagulation agent. Preservatives. Anti-vomiting agent. More Preservatives. Starch. Argentinian beef.
  • leerayIG88, on 01/31/2008, -2/+3The hamburger looks .... I can't explain it.
  • JonTheGoose, on 01/31/2008, -0/+30Please, I've eaten cheeseburgers out of vending machines before. That looks ***** DELICIOUS!!
  • Typhoon2009, on 01/31/2008, -3/+1Did we just kill the SA server?
  • cmoreland, on 01/31/2008, -11/+1Sorry Digg, FARK.com had this one first.

    /burying ensues...
  • Crath, on 01/31/2008, -0/+15http://www.canned-bacon.com/
  • Twenty5, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1doesn't look THAT bad tho
  • Loki00000, on 01/31/2008, -1/+4Meh, ill stick with rouge spaghetti myself.
  • hoco, on 01/31/2008, -9/+7This Can Haz Cheezburger
  • HCviolence, on 01/31/2008, -0/+31This is so great Ebaum's World is already stealing it
  • Julz, on 01/31/2008, -6/+2gizmodo has a story and pic's of the canned cheeseburger:
    http://gizmodo.com/350091/cheeseburger-in-a-can-is ...
    • Boor, on 01/31/2008, -0/+5Thats an advertisement picture. Definitely not what the hamburger actually looks like.
  • slwrochild, on 01/31/2008, -1/+13Anyone ever eat MRE's? Pretty sure it can't be worse than that.
    • chenyu768, on 01/31/2008, -0/+5the new 1s arent bad especially the spat and meat balls
    • centran, on 01/31/2008, -0/+5I ate some of the new MRE's when I was helping some of my Aunt's family clean up after Katrina. They have ones with a built in heat pack to cook the food.
      They are not bad at all. Pretty damn good. I never had the old ones but I understand those where horrible. The new ones... pretty good.
    • Nekiruhs, on 01/31/2008, -0/+4What are you talking about? Some of the MRE's I've eaten were pretty good(Chicken Alfredo, and the ones that have the vitamin shakes are good too). Anyway, this doesn't look that bad. And seeing as its for campers, it makes sense.
    • atbnet, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1My sister in the navy got me some MREs once, this was just a few years after Iraq I, because I wanted to join the army when I was old enough. I was pretty fascinated by the chemical cooker, but they weren't that good. Especially the Mars bar I had that kind of disintegrated when I opened it.
    • anaesthetica, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1I went down to Quantico and had an MRE for lunch. It was Penne with Bolognese Sauce. Not too bad actually. I'd say it's just as good as any Chef Boyardee dinner taste-wise, and probably healthier as well.
    • spmyke, on 02/01/2008, -0/+1The vegetarian MRE was the absolute worst. The only reason any of us ever snatched one of those up was because it came with the best dessert, like a cookie or a cupcake, whereas the other flavors just came with a peppermint or a piece of chocolate.

      But, this was about four years ago. Before the new ones, I think.
  • Chassit, on 01/31/2008, -1/+2That thing looked ***** disgusting.
  • uziko, on 01/31/2008, -0/+9It actually looks kind of tasty.
  • mortigon, on 01/31/2008, -3/+14"Then, after the can farted on my hand while opening, you finally see:"

    Ha, fart.
  • socomoddjob, on 01/31/2008, -0/+1Id eat it, somebody send me one.
    • MuletTheGreat, on 02/01/2008, -1/+1***** off. Feed yourself ya mooch.
  • Leg0z, on 01/31/2008, -6/+1On this day... I'm so proud to say that I am a goon. My stairs in my house are well protected.
    • Papajohn56, on 01/31/2008, -2/+1you should kill yourself for ever being proud to be a fat slob greasy goon
  • yowzer73, on 01/31/2008, -2/+10A friend of mine has an ongoing series of stuff like this. He asks his fans to send him stuff, and he'll eat it. He does it on video though so you can actually get the sense of what the food is like (both good and bad...very bad).

    http://benchilada.livejournal.com/tag/so+you+don't ...
  • JustinSaunders, on 01/31/2008, -1/+1I barfed a bit in my mouth when I read the title.
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