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Semen Recipe Book [WTF???]

blogs.chicagoreader.com — "Semen is not only nutritious, but it also has a wonderful texture and amazing cooking properties. Like fine wine and cheeses, the taste of semen is complex and dynamic. Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants." You're not gonna believe this...

Who dugg this? Made popular Nov 22, 2008

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385 Comments

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  • ileftfark, on 11/22/2008, -0/+825"Inexpensive to produce..." ? My ***** Internet bill is almost $50 a month.
  • Kronich, on 11/22/2008, -3/+412I dugg it but I'm too scared to click on the link
  • linkmandx, on 11/22/2008, -1/+355"The taste of semen is complex and dynamic."

    Every girl I have ever met clearly do not understand this concept.
  • inactive, on 11/22/2008, -1/+284Here's a reviewer:
    "I've been using semen in place of cooking oil for a number of years now, and it has been wonderful. On my 21st birthday, my parents sent a guy dressed as Big Bird to my apartment with a card and a balloon. That incident led to some VERY heavy drinking and a trip to the ER, where I learned that I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and a host of other medical issues. I did some online research and found some data on cooking with semen, and it seemed like it was worth a try. I have to admit, I had spent quite a bit of time thinking about eating semen previously, but never really got into it (other than a couple of quick 'glory-hole' incidents in college). Once I realized my life was on the line, my cum-guzzling era began. My cholesterol & blood pressure are down, my hair has become fuller - my life is good, and it's because of cum.

    I highly recommend this book to everyone. Cum-eating is certainly considered very much taboo in our society, but my hope is that books like this will lead to a day when we can ll go to a vending machine and buy a bag of cummi bears.

    I am proud to be a cum eater - I'm eating goo while I type this.
    ***
    I make my own cum jerky, cum mayonnaise and cum ice cream! These are not in this book, but they are delicious! I eat my own cum, my neighbor's cum and even my dog's cum. I must admit, my arm does get tired jacking us all off, but it helps to keep my biceps in shape.
    ***
    That's the other upside of semen consumption - the fun of getting it! Every time I get hungry, I jack off and blow a load into some tupperware.

    It feels good, and tastes GRRRRRRREAT. "

    Rofl, oh god I'm at a loss of words.
  • YodaJones, on 11/22/2008, -1/+234The recipe said to beat the eggs.
  • GregIsLegend, on 11/22/2008, -0/+214Everyone just shut the ***** up for a second...

    We must unite to perpetuate this rumor.
  • MidnightRIder77, on 11/22/2008, -2/+164Reminds me of:

    http://bash.org/?50891
  • newbill123, on 11/22/2008, -1/+1551. Take public domain recipes.
    2. Find and replace "egg white" with "semen"
    3. ???
    4. Profit.

    Step 3 is obviously "promote on digg"
  • sixbox, on 11/22/2008, -0/+117I followed the "this one" link and started reading the "reviews." Holy ***** hilarious.

    http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

  • sockpuppets, on 11/22/2008, -6/+120It's a cookbook for sailors, isn't it?
  • daxter241, on 11/22/2008, -1/+108"Cum & Get it"?.......lol wow
  • joep323, on 11/22/2008, -8/+114I couldn't stop laughing at this review on the site. Priceless

    Reviewer:
    "I bought this book the second I heard about it. I had been shooting my scrotal milk into all of my friends dishes without them knowing for years, since I got this all have been requesting my brew in their food.
    Still, I don't think I'm ok with my mom eating my gonad glazed goodies but she says it tastes pretty good.
    Also makes for easy transition from breast milk to solid food for babies. Plus they're still used to the nipple so they do most of the work. "
    A++
  • diggmeyoubitch, on 11/22/2008, -3/+94You're doing it wrong.
  • Lucifugerising, on 11/22/2008, -1/+90makes sure to round off the edges of the book, you wouldn't want her to deflate
  • YodaJones, on 11/22/2008, -6/+85Got Semen?
  • phrozen209, on 11/22/2008, -2/+80comment on http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212
    "Can sperm in taco make babby in girl stomach if she eats?"
  • inactive, on 11/22/2008, -25/+101. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ It’s a trap!
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . . ._________/
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ : : : :::: :::: :: : : : : :º ‘-, . . /. . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . . . . . . .,-‘ :: : : :::: :::: :::: :::: : : :o : ‘-, . . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . . . . . ,-‘ :: ::: :: : : :: :::: :::: :: : : : : :O ‘-, . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . . . .,-‘ : :: :: :: :: :: : : : : : , : : :º :::: :::: ::’; . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . . .,-‘ / / : :: :: :: :: : : :::: :::-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ; . . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . . /,-‘,’ :: : : : : : : : : :: :: :: : ‘-, ;; ;; ;; ;; ;; ;;| . . . . . . .
    . . . . . . . /,’,-‘ :: :: :: :: :: :: :: : ::_,-~~,_’-, ;; ;; ;; ;; | . . . . . . .
    . . . . . _/ :,’ :/ :: :: :: : : :: :: _,-‘/ : ,-‘;’-‘’’’’~-, ;; ;; ;;,’ . . . . . . . .
    . . . ,-‘ / : : : : : : ,-‘’’ : : :,--‘’ :|| /,-‘-‘--‘’’__,’’’ ;; ;,-‘ . . . . . . . .
    . . . :/,, : : : _,-‘ --,,_ : : : ||/ /,-‘-‘x### :: ;;/ . . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . / /---‘’’’ : # : : : : : | | : (O##º : :/ /-‘’ . . . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . /,’____ : : ‘-# : , : : : : ‘-,___,-‘,-`-,, . . . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . ‘ ) : : : :’’’’--,,--,,,,,,¯ :: ::--,,_’’-,,’’’¯ :’- :’-, . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . .) : : : : : : ,, : ‘’’’~~~~’ :: :: :: :’’’’’¯ :: ,-‘ :,/ . . . . . . . . .
    . . . . .,/ /|| | :/ / : : : : : : : ,’-, :: :: :: :: ::,--‘’ :,-‘ . . . . . . . .
    . . . . .’| |/ ‘/ / :: :_--,, : , | )’; :: :: :: :,-‘’ : ,-‘ : : : , . . . . . . .
    . . . ./¯ :| | : |/ :: ::----, :/ :|/ :: :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : ‘’-,,_ . . . .
    . . ..| : : :/ ‘’-(, :: :: :: ‘’’’’~,,,,,’’ :: ,-‘’ : :,-‘ : : : : : : : : :,-‘’’ . . . .
    . ,-‘ : : : | : : ‘’) : : :¯’’’’~-,: : ,--‘’’ : :,-‘’ : : : : : : : : : ,-‘ :¯’’’’’-,_ .
    ./ : : : : :’-, :: | :: :: :: _,,-‘’’’¯ : ,--‘’ : : : : : : : : : : : / : : : : : : :’’-,
    / : : : : : -, :¯’’’’’’’’’’’¯ : : _,,-~’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : :| : : : : : : : : :
    : : : : : : :¯’’~~~~~~’’’ : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : :


  • Carver520, on 11/22/2008, -2/+77Semen is inexpensive to produce and is commonly available in many, if not most, homes and restaurants.

    Tyler Durden was *the* guerilla terrorist in the food service industry... as for the cream of mushroom soup, well...
  • sjbdallas, on 11/22/2008, -4/+71I don't know about you guys, but if the recipe calls for anything more than a tablespoon, it would take me a week to come up with that particular ingredient.
  • JDFrancis, on 11/22/2008, -2/+66"Mmm... I can't quite place it, but I've had this taste in my mouth before." --Your Mom after a bite of Pie a la Choad
  • NeoSporin, on 11/22/2008, -1/+60"Can sperm in taco make babby in girl stomach if she eats?"
  • cl2yp71c, on 11/22/2008, -2/+60I'm sure your food bill is larger.

    Why not kill two birds with one stone?
  • budgeysmuggler, on 11/22/2008, -1/+54so who ordered the 'creme of sum yung guy' ?
  • DextaRussell, on 11/22/2008, -2/+54Cockmeat Sandwich?
  • Sublex, on 11/22/2008, -1/+53idon'twanttoknowidon'twanttoknow
  • KloroFormd, on 11/22/2008, -3/+54Hi there, what's your name?

    EDIT: Oh wait, you're a male? Nevermind.
  • Aurabolt, on 11/22/2008, -2/+53I know which one that is without even clicking on it... damn I'm pathetic
  • shondell, on 11/22/2008, -2/+49Sometimes you come across a comment on Digg and when you read it you know that the comment is perfect. From the spelling to the punctuation, everything, the comment couldnt be any better. This is one of those comments.

    Thank You ileftfark
  • sirbeta, on 11/22/2008, -0/+46After so many reviews of that book say things like "My neighbors couldn't guess the secret ingredient!" - I have to admit, I'm feeling less tempted to eat others' cooking.
  • sidewinderaim9x, on 11/22/2008, -1/+47While John's mom and dad were having sex in their bedroom, he runs into the bedroom. The parents are completely surprised.
    "Mommy, what were you and daddy doing?"
    "Oh we're just baking a cake..."
    "But this doesn't taste like frosting."
  • Lucifugerising, on 11/22/2008, -1/+46Cum again?
  • MiniCooper2007, on 11/22/2008, -0/+39Feels good, man.
  • doublefelix, on 11/22/2008, -0/+38"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"
  • MidnightRIder77, on 11/22/2008, -0/+37It tastes BETTER!
  • noahgelman, on 11/22/2008, -0/+35I read more of the reviews, and they're hysterically funny
  • shondell, on 11/22/2008, -0/+34A review of the book

    "I bought this book the second I heard about it. I had been shooting my scrotal milk into all of my friends dishes without them knowing for years, since I got this all have been requesting my brew in their food.
    Still, I don't think I'm ok with my mom eating my gonad glazed goodies but she says it tastes pretty good.
    Also makes for easy transition from breast milk to solid food for babies. Plus they're still used to the nipple so they do most of the work.
    A++"
  • TheAnimist, on 11/22/2008, -0/+33The author's response to this review:

    "Wow Ronnie! Thanks for such an overwhelmingly positive review. You are a true inspiration to the rest of us. Keep on cooking!

    - Fotie

    P.S. Do you know of any FDA reports related to the health claims in your review?"
  • KingGorilla, on 11/22/2008, -0/+32not the meat
  • bingo000, on 11/22/2008, -1/+32I know what to buy my girlfriend for xmas this year.
  • thirty6chambers, on 11/22/2008, -2/+32umm.. how many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
    depends on how hard you throw them.
  • Zaxcomp, on 11/22/2008, -0/+30No no he meant the island of dairy products right next to the bay of bread.
  • Lucifugerising, on 11/22/2008, -0/+29No it cums from an animal.
  • themastersb, on 11/22/2008, -1/+30"How is babby formed. How girl get pragnant."
  • Greyscale88, on 11/22/2008, -0/+29Hahahahaha oh jeez, the picture in that article cannot be a coincidence.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c0 ...
  • ryananger, on 11/22/2008, -0/+28We still have our youth.
  • TConundrum, on 11/22/2008, -0/+28SHAMWOW!
  • BTConan, on 11/22/2008, -2/+30OK seriously what the *****? Am I missing something here or do people actually do this?

    I'm so confused right now.
  • BrianD2, on 11/22/2008, -1/+28Ahaha wtf? look at this dude bsingle's comment history
  • GawtMilk, on 11/22/2008, -0/+26Disgusting? Just look at the rave reviews!

    http://www.lulu.com/content/4956212

    "Brilliant book! The kids LOVE the recipes. Fantastic!"

    "I highly recommend this book to everyone. Cum-eating is certainly considered very much taboo in our society, but my hope is that books like this will lead to a day when we can ll go to a vending machine and buy a bag of cummi bears."

    "There are so many uses to cum. I think this book is going to inspire me to write my own book: "Cum, It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore" and the follow-up: "Got Jiz?". And finally: "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus: Who Cares, Let's All Eat Cum!""
  • sockpuppets, on 11/22/2008, -2/+28Try my baby batter waffles!
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