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Excuse Me, Bartender? There’s a Piece of Ass In My Drink

divinecaroline.com — In the land of booze, there ’s no doubt that sex sells... But why do we combine drink names with sex? Here’s a list with 8 of the sexiest cocktails.

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  • sashapave, on 12/04/2007, -0/+15Let's not forget some of the classics, "Between the Sheets" (rum, cognac, passion fruit, lime), "Hairy Virgin" (rum, orange liqueur, apple juice). And for your kinky bastards, "The Kevorkian" (Jack Daniel's, Dr. Pepper).
    • MFallopian, on 12/04/2007, -0/+8But what would Dr. Kevorkian drink? The Zombie? The Paralyzer? Maybe just a Godfather. Straight up.
      • THATBUTTERFLY, on 12/04/2007, -5/+0TRUE..WE HAVE PERFUMES WITH SEX NAMES TOO.
  • waste49, on 12/04/2007, -0/+13On my next date, I'll be sure to ask my girl, "Would you like a Slow Comfortable Screw or a Fuzzy Dick?" Perhaps they go hand-in-hand...
    • trystero49, on 12/04/2007, -0/+10It says a lot if she chooses a Fuzzy Dick. FURRIES!!!!
    • 1aaaa, on 12/04/2007, -0/+3Dude, a TRUE furry would order a Fuzzy Navel.
    • ronaldinho, on 12/04/2007, -1/+1I think I will ask her whether she wants a screaming orgasm instead
  • wuxtry, on 12/04/2007, -1/+23"The Handjob (Jack Daniels and Squirt)" Classy...
  • MTessa, on 12/04/2007, -0/+15I used to think it was funny to say I'll have a "sex on the beach" or a "fuzzy navel" in college. I'm not sure I have the guts to say I'll have a "leg spreader." Although my guy next to me watching the Warriors game right now might hope I would ;)
  • GenghisCohen, on 12/04/2007, -0/+9Dugg for unique use of "Ass In My Drink"
    • wandatinasky, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1And what would a 'common' use of that be?
      • stignordas, on 12/04/2007, -1/+1Drink in my A...
      • thcobbs, on 12/04/2007, -1/+1When the boyfriend passes out in your drink after a few too many?
  • KatherineC, on 12/04/2007, -0/+10Sorry but this can't taste good. "Piece of Ass (Amaretto, Southern Comfort, sour mix)"
    • susumaria, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2oh sure, its like an amaretto sour without the 7-up. I guess sacrificing the fizz gets you a piece of ass, not a bad deal
  • socialdork, on 12/04/2007, -0/+6Hey that was pretty good. Glad to see we still have some of Digg in us even though there is a "lifestyle" section now.
  • JulieBrownfield, on 12/04/2007, -0/+14They give them great names because most of them taste horrible.
    • ElAssoWipo, on 12/04/2007, -1/+2Yeah, I was talking about this stuff yesterday with friends... Ever notice how all liquor is advertised as something fancy? Like it's somehow a high-class product? It's booze ffs. The very few people who would actually enjoy drinking straight hard liquor are either very productive alcoholics or homeless winos. That's why we have all these drinks: to hide the taste of liquor.
      • cyberwiz01, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1Straight hard liquor FTW!
      • scrimaxinc, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1What about scotch (cue Ron Burgundy)? I think it tastes pretty damn good by itself. If you buy cheap booze it all tastes like ass, but I think higher quality liquors often taste good by themselves.
  • allisdivine, on 12/04/2007, -1/+6I used to order 'surfers on acid' then I dated a surfer on acid, now the drink makes me sick!
  • tambird, on 12/04/2007, -0/+4Subtlety where art thou? Not in a bar with a bunch of drunks, I guess.
    • endoccupation, on 12/04/2007, -0/+0I think the refined just use the classic wine or something straight up.
  • kelseyisfine, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1the Dirty Martini is about as scandelous as my drinks get!
  • watersfine, on 12/04/2007, -1/+2I'll take Manhattan...
    • verkon, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1AHAHA! It's funny because Manhattan is a drink, but not sexy sounding! Ooohhh....
  • lailalu, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2squirt. anything that includes squirt just moved up my list of classic drink orders. Do bars keep that stuff stocked since 1974?
  • drunkulus, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2Booze yay!
  • ritita, on 12/04/2007, -3/+3this is a fun list, but i have never needed alcohol to induce a good screw
    • gracechendiggs, on 12/04/2007, -0/+4cause you a ho
    • thcobbs, on 12/04/2007, -0/+3Cause you gotta get laid to have induced a good screw?
  • rumplestiltz, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1i don't know about the taste of those drinks but that writer had me laughing out loud.
  • meandnips, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2Really funny article, especially the sex on the beach part! I think I'll pass on the Piece of Ass though, I'd feel a dirty old cougar ordering that!
    • thcobbs, on 12/04/2007, -2/+1That's fine.... just grab a kitten and a video camera.

      You'll get no complaints from me...
  • marymad, on 12/04/2007, -0/+4come on. everyone knows that leg spreader is champagne, not beer.
    • stignordas, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2A bottle of your finest Leg Spreader please.
  • tssfan1, on 12/04/2007, -0/+3It's called Budweiser
    • rumplestiltz, on 12/04/2007, -2/+0simple but enough of it does the trick. A good game of flip cup or power hour helps
  • driedyam, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1Awesome!
  • discodave12, on 12/04/2007, -6/+0I wish I'd taken the time to write "I much prefer Extra Virgin Olive Oil, or as the dirty, drunk, whore Rachel Ray likes to say, EVOO." HAHAHA, LOL, I hope Rachel Ray reads this too!
    • CraigJ, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1She can be a bit annoying being all bubbly all the time, however I don't think your description applies. Maybe you were thinking of Paris Hilton?
  • thredden, on 12/04/2007, -1/+5For you pot-head Diggers...(is that everyone?)

    Dirty Bongwater:
    2 count Captain morgans
    1 count Blue Curacao
    1 count Razmatazz or Chambord
    1 count Vodka
    splash sour
    splash sprite

    i swear it looks just like bongwater
  • CraigJ, on 12/04/2007, -2/+1Tequila FTW
  • brese1200, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1Dugg for awesome title.
  • gracechendiggs, on 12/04/2007, -0/+0ewww....bars will do anything to sell another cocktail.
  • SteveTheSultan, on 12/04/2007, -5/+1Mirror:
    http://cachejunkies.com/index.aspx?UL=http://www.d ...
    • drunkulus, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1Worst mirror ever, doesn't even get you to page 2 of the article
    • waste49, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1mirror? or wacked out fun-house mirror? for ***** sake!
  • simile, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1I thought this would be about a bartender getting a little behind in his work...
  • Hobbes24, on 12/04/2007, -2/+1mirror mirror on the wall...
    • Hobbes24, on 12/04/2007, -1/+1ah, didn't see steve post...pretty n00bish...
  • banmaster, on 12/04/2007, -0/+3Is the 'Butt ***** Cowboy' on the list?
  • Zuggy, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2Ever had a Buck-Futter?
    • AnarkeIncarnate, on 12/04/2007, -0/+2They should make a drink called "Brokeback Mountain Dew"
  • AManOfLOP33, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1These descriptions are mesmerizing
  • sgtpppr, on 12/04/2007, -0/+3I'm not sure 'Sex on the Beach' is an innuendo...that would mean sex is implied.
  • mburr428, on 12/04/2007, -0/+1Try this one: Cum in a Tub 1/2 oz Vodka, 1/2 oz sour apple schnapps, pour in a shot glass. With a straw a single drop of milk.
  • mburr428, on 12/04/2007, -2/+0oops, I meant add a single drop of milk
  • rallen71366, on 12/04/2007, -0/+0Brandy, she's pretty sexy alright!
  • the999, on 12/05/2007, -2/+2Excuse me site admin, put the whole list on one page. We know that when we view 8 pages, we view 8 different ads. We're not stupid.
    ***** is TACKY.
  • lolo2007, on 03/05/2008, -0/+0I used to think it was funny to say I'll have a "sex on the beach" or a "fuzzy navel" in college. I'm not sure I have the guts to say I'll have a "leg spreader." Although my guy next to me watching the Warriors game right now might hope I would ;)
    http://download.paramegsoft.com/
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