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7 Things That Only Make Sense When You're Drunk

omglists.com — Most of you have been there (and those of you too young to drink will soon find out for yourselves): you've had too much to drink and suddenly, drunk-logic takes hold of your mind. This is when you see start to see things in a different light and things that normally wouldn't make sense when you're sober suddenly seem like a totally good idea...

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  • Bukowsky, on 12/31/2007, -14/+7oh man.... I've done every single one of these things!
  • DarkItIs, on 12/31/2007, -2/+23Dugg for "Hugh Hefner and James Bond rolled up into one."
    • tidu, on 12/31/2007, -3/+11Dugg for using Seinfeld as proof in #6
  • fant0m, on 12/31/2007, -1/+123Drunk-dialing the ex: an amateur mistake.

    We've all been there.
    • tidu, on 12/31/2007, -2/+36no, we'd need a girlfriend first...
    • macweirdo42, on 12/31/2007, -3/+45You haven't drunk-dialed until you've drunk dialed a friend to ask for oral sex on a dare, but accidently ended up calling his parents' house and proceeded to ask his father for oral sex instead.
      • narcofiche, on 12/31/2007, -0/+73and then getting it.
        • parkermauney, on 12/31/2007, -29/+1In the anus
        • ComeOutSwingin, on 01/01/2008, -0/+22It was funny, then narco made it even funnier. And then you ***** it up!
    • jiveturkeyblues, on 12/31/2007, -1/+13i did it a couple of weeks ago. now she keeps calling me and sending me messages. what do i do?
      • mortigon, on 12/31/2007, -0/+30get drunk, the answer will come to you
        • macweirdo42, on 12/31/2007, -0/+31Ah, alcohol. The cause, and solution, to all of life's problems.
      • ionbattle, on 12/31/2007, -3/+8bang her, then tell her you hate her right afterwards...calls and text messages will cease.
        • voyvf, on 12/31/2007, -0/+12Hah. That would be "foreplay" with some of my ex's. For extra Evil Points™, after sex, make certain that you're in hearing distance of said ex, call up a random friend (if they're a good friend, they won't mind) and remark, "You're right. It wasn't as good as I remembered."

          Then, run. Quickly. Don't worry about putting all of your clothes on, just cover the hairy parts and haul ass.
      • renegade334, on 01/02/2008, -1/+1Step one: Don't ask people on digg for advice
    • getashovel, on 01/01/2008, -2/+1People on Digg have girlfriends?
  • Callsorputs, on 12/31/2007, -0/+94#8 Getting into a fight with someone for any reason at all. Guy looks at the clock above you and suddenly "What you lookin' at" And suddenly you feel like you've entered the octagon
    • samuraipizzacat, on 12/31/2007, -11/+2Indeed, nearly got in a fight with some random dude on Saturday night over a girl. Girl was pretty fine though. Would've been worth it.
    • AdamFromMyspace, on 12/31/2007, -0/+6Happens every ***** time I go downtown
    • malykii, on 12/31/2007, -0/+10I prefer the thunder dome... 2 man enter, 1 man leave!!!!
    • MattBD, on 12/31/2007, -0/+12The thing I don't get is when someone says "You looking at my bird?". How do you respond to that? There is no good answer.
      I reckon the best answer is to say "Yes, you're a very lucky man. Congratulations".
      • Urusai, on 12/31/2007, -1/+8I'd say "Yarr, ye be havin' a fine parrot, matey!" What, wrong bird?
      • thailand1972, on 01/01/2008, -0/+5In Manchester you can be sleeping at the back of the last bus home, and some drunk will wake you up and say "you THINKING about my bird?"
    • comeandtakeit, on 12/31/2007, -5/+10That happened to me once... the bars closed and everybody spilled out into the street at once... thats when this guy yells at me from across the street... "Hey you look like that guy from that movie!" (I was told later) all I heard was, "Hey you look like..." and it was on.
      His mates jumped in with my mates; and we threw each other around until the cops showed up... to watch.
      Anywho... everybody got punched, nobody cared.

    • Matsky, on 01/01/2008, -2/+1A
  • xyzunit, on 12/31/2007, -0/+179Dugg for the list being on one page.
  • Scogras, on 12/31/2007, -3/+37Personally, I think this list is far too short.
  • SeethisPass, on 12/31/2007, -1/+39Face it.
    It's New Years Eve.
    Some of you are going to throw down until you throw up, anyway.
    So, uh, how IS the ex?
    Cheers!
  • badassninja, on 12/31/2007, -20/+11I knew there was a reason why I've never been drunk.
    • obelisky, on 12/31/2007, -8/+23because you have no friends.
      • wilcox1010, on 12/31/2007, -9/+2what he said ^ Loser.
      • idslite, on 12/31/2007, -1/+8Yeah... You don't need friends to get drunk lol.
    • wilcox1010, on 12/31/2007, -4/+4Yeah, get some friends ya jerk.
    • macweirdo42, on 12/31/2007, -3/+13If you ever want to get anywhere in life, you've got to be willing to make a complete and total ass of yourself. Sometimes, you've got to take chances, and if you fail, that's exactly what's gonna happen. You have to have the courage to be able to take those chances and face failure, even if it does mean looking like a complete and total ass. This is one of the most important things you'll ever learn. Now, I'm not saying you need alcohol to learn it, but it certainly helps.
    • badassninja, on 12/31/2007, -5/+6There's a good chance that I have more friends then you do. My friends just don't get wasted.
    • 5555, on 12/31/2007, -0/+6See here's the thing: choosing not to drink because it's not something you're interested in? That's cool because it's your choice. Coming into a drinking discussion and acting holier than thou because you choose not to drink? That's not cool because you're trying to impose your choice on others.
      • badassninja, on 01/01/2008, -3/+2No, do what ever the hell you want. But I personally don't want to find myself doing those things on that list plus a large number of other things you find yourself doing when your drunk. I'm not a live your life on the edge kind of guy. If you choose to be then more power to you.
  • bralynn, on 12/31/2007, -19/+4I think this guy does all of the above things:
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=eBGIQ7ZuuiU
    • tidu, on 12/31/2007, -1/+13i know that address... eBGIQ7ZuuiU! nice try, bud.
    • samuraipizzacat, on 12/31/2007, -0/+11This is honestly like the 10th rickroll I've seen today.
    • rdoger6424, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1wow. nostalgia
  • Regulator980, on 12/31/2007, -3/+15Repost: This is why you don't get drunk

    http://www.dr.dk/p3/monkey_old/stablinger.asp
    • tidu, on 12/31/2007, -1/+18no, that's why you get drunk with chill people who won't ***** with you
    • banditt442, on 12/31/2007, -1/+2the best one is the dude on the couch in the bathroom.
    • AdrewMc3, on 01/01/2008, -0/+4Why do white people do this? I mean seriously it's only white people that do this.
      P.S. I am white
      • Mike89, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1Black people have done enough manual labour in their lifetime?
      • MalDON, on 01/01/2008, -0/+2Because most white guys are stuck-up arrogant asshats.
    • touch0ph, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1Err, some of these look like they were staged. Still funny though.
  • Iwantawii, on 12/31/2007, -0/+44I'm going to call this my New Year's checklist ~,^
  • Themauvestorm3, on 12/31/2007, -14/+7Fake. PBR never makes sense
    • benedictkenny, on 12/31/2007, -1/+4You obviously don't know enough skinheads, or have seen Blue Velvet.
      • Skab, on 12/31/2007, -0/+2PABST BLUE RIBBON the drink of monroe MI!
  • nico623, on 12/31/2007, -1/+46Dugg for PBR !!!
    • malykii, on 12/31/2007, -1/+7pabst blue ribbon on my mind!
    • keyboardduder, on 12/31/2007, -1/+4Newcastle FTW
    • macweirdo42, on 12/31/2007, -0/+15For some reason, I'm drawn to ***** beer, even when I'm sober. If someone says a beer is *****, I instantly know I'm gonna love it. Kinda disturbing, really.
      • SiNN4R, on 12/31/2007, -0/+11Try out steel reserve. If that doesn't break your craving for ***** beer nothing will.
      • thestocker, on 12/31/2007, -6/+1Try guinness double stout.
    • diggsahole, on 12/31/2007, -1/+15...buried for calling it ***** beer.
    • DefianceOhioFan, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1The Fest ftw :D
    • aduzik, on 01/02/2008, -0/+2PBR is the best of the ***** beers. Even now I'll order it from time to time. And there's a great little dive bar here that has it on tap. $1 draws all week long, how can I lose?
  • Waskonator, on 12/31/2007, -2/+27They left out "Telling your wife to 'Get *****'."
    I don't know if its common but.... I've done it.
  • mortigon, on 12/31/2007, -4/+43I spent last New Years Eve at a house party... the whole night was spent walking around drunk, giving people high fives...

    Can't wait to do it all again tonight.
    • idslite, on 12/31/2007, -3/+6For some reason that doesn't seem fun to me... What do I know? I'm only 19... Lol.
      • mortigon, on 12/31/2007, -1/+12When you're sober it does seem pretty dumb, but when you're drunk for some reason it's funny as hell.
        • banditt442, on 12/31/2007, -7/+0no, its dumb either way.
        • TaylorSmythe, on 12/31/2007, -0/+9No way Banditt, apparently you've never had a drunk "MEET EVERYONE" session. It's hilarious.
        • away8907, on 12/31/2007, -1/+1Agreed. Especially if it could be a fun sober time (old friends/whatever). Then it is extra Win.
        • Mike89, on 01/01/2008, -0/+2A drunk guy high fived me last night (at a rock festival), said I was getting close to the "Ten thousandth guy.. though I've double banged a few people, they're like NOO NOT YOU AGAIN"
  • Nougat, on 12/31/2007, -0/+18It's cracked.com without the page breaks!
    • WilliamDavis, on 12/31/2007, -1/+2And also without a reliable hosting arrangement.
  • alucardx, on 12/31/2007, -1/+4this is hilarious.. guilty of all the above.
  • trevorjez, on 12/31/2007, -0/+28taco bell...
    • Hinph, on 12/31/2007, -4/+5Naaa, Del Taco. Open 24 hours.
      • idslite, on 12/31/2007, -2/+5I don't think we have: Del Taco in Michigan :(
      • KMartSheriff, on 01/01/2008, -0/+3TACO TUESDAY!!
      • dealseeker, on 01/01/2008, -0/+2The only place you can get a taco with a side of cheeseburgers with a side of fries with a side of burritos at 2 am.
  • wolvyne, on 12/31/2007, -1/+9Dugg for PBR!
  • wilcox1010, on 12/31/2007, -1/+0I can't wait till tonight! Texas mickey of rum!
  • aguynamedjoe36, on 12/31/2007, -0/+37Singing. Somehow I feel more athletic too, more nimble, spry if you will. Mostly in regard to hurdling things.
    • dotlizard, on 12/31/2007, -0/+2ahh, singing (or as my friends and family refer to this stage of my drunkenness: "karaoke mode").
  • wilcox1010, on 12/31/2007, -1/+5I can't wait to get drunk tonight!
  • KenSPT, on 12/31/2007, -5/+20The solution, get stoned ...
    • Iwantawii, on 12/31/2007, -0/+5Can we think of 7 things that only make sense when you're stoned?
      • TheRascalKing, on 12/31/2007, -0/+111. Eating Peeps
        2. Giggling
        3-7. Eating Peeps and giggling.
      • SiNN4R, on 12/31/2007, -0/+4Wasabi flavored funyuns.
    • GuacamoleSan, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1Quantum Field Theory, String Theory, Aqua Teen Hunger Force
  • Slimem88, on 12/31/2007, -0/+28You know what a lot of people (including myself) think makes sense when they're drunk? Money. "I can afford that! No problem!"

    You wake up the next morning and realize you are now a hundred and fifty dollars poorer than you were a mere 12 hours previous. Alcohol = "Black Amex."
    • AdamFromMyspace, on 12/31/2007, -1/+5Totally agreed. Now I find myself rationalizing going down to the bars because once I'm drunk, it won't bother me that I'm poor and shouldn't be spending my money on alcohol. Talk about ***** up logic.
    • macweirdo42, on 12/31/2007, -0/+8I try to hide my wallet before drinking in order to avoid that very catastrophe. You'd think it'd make more sense to have my friends hide it, but by the time I get to the point where I start spending money stupidly, I'm usually too drunk to remember where I hid it (though usually it's just sitting on the coffee table).
  • mcfly1204, on 12/31/2007, -3/+46Should be titled "7 Most Cliche Things That Only Make Sense When You're Drunk."

    I would have to add:
    -driving
    -breaking things, bottles, patio fruniture, VCR's
    -stealing, especially from strangers
    -smoking 40+ cigarettes
    -giving your phone number to people as if you may hang out sometime, especially people from high school
  • Humpasaur, on 12/31/2007, -7/+3Wise timing, this was a good chuckle yo peace on it
  • skews13, on 12/31/2007, -1/+9#9 i'll be alright. i can still drive
  • matthewdestroys, on 12/31/2007, -1/+5PBR = dugg.
  • insanemike, on 12/31/2007, -3/+16This just in: Digg is now those "cute" emails that your relatives send you that they find so hilarious!!!! (Send money to Nigeria.)
  • banido, on 12/31/2007, -2/+4Ze beer goggles...zey...zey work !
    * hic *
    • idslite, on 12/31/2007, -1/+2Enough with zey goggles already, oh crap....
  • keyboardduder, on 12/31/2007, -0/+2#8- "Whats number 9?"
    • eyesmell, on 01/01/2008, -0/+7Dunno, but i assume #10 is profit...
  • RamRodBuzzCock, on 12/31/2007, -2/+1Dugg for Puck = Moon Over My Hammy
  • venicerocco, on 12/31/2007, -2/+7#8 Saying yes to cocaine.
    • cmdrNacho, on 12/31/2007, -0/+4Saying yest to just about anything
      • thomashauk, on 01/01/2008, -0/+4Somehow the typo made it more correct...
    • GuacamoleSan, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1Cocaines a helluva drug
      -rick james
  • thewump, on 12/31/2007, -1/+5Sadly "Driving Really Fast" should be on there.
  • pseudologue, on 12/31/2007, -6/+3What the ***** *****! Those things makes sense now! Are you saying I'm drunk now, bitch ass?!
    Oh, yeah... I am.
    Peace out, girl scouts. Have a good New Year's Eve party without getting arrested or maimed.
  • dgreichert, on 12/31/2007, -3/+1Finally a list that was worth reading.
  • jiveturkeyblues, on 12/31/2007, -0/+5i know it's a dumb list and all but..gosh i do all of those things so much that i just had to dig it.

    ew i eat some nasty crap when i'm drunk.
  • MattBD, on 12/31/2007, -0/+3I have never eaten a donner kebab sober. It's something that simply doesn't appeal when you're sober, but once you're drunk it just seems like the food of the gods.
    • macweirdo42, on 12/31/2007, -0/+1Are you freakin' kidding me? That stuff is the food of the gods sober... Which means that if I were drunk... Dear God... *runs out to buy a doner kebab and a bottle of whiskey*
    • venicerocco, on 12/31/2007, -1/+4Funny how every drunk guy in their 20s and 30s in England knows where you can get "THE BEST" donner, mate.... My theory is that it's a surrogate vagina for those who haven't pulled.
      • MattBD, on 12/31/2007, -0/+1Well, as long as they don't get chilli sauce with it - makes your eyes water just thinking about it!
  • EnP24, on 12/31/2007, -0/+2dugg because i will do all of these through the course of tonight
  • skypeGoat, on 12/31/2007, -1/+18. Across the Universe-The Movie
    • c0n724ll10n, on 12/31/2007, -1/+0Across the Universe-The Video Game
  • merripen, on 12/31/2007, -0/+4Also, expressionist paintings. Man, I just can't jive that ***** sober!
  • AWooWoo, on 12/31/2007, -1/+2I like Pabst

    but the best buy is High Gravity Hurricane in a 24oz. can 8.1% for pocket change
    $1.15
  • ThatsPopetastic, on 12/31/2007, -1/+3I'm in Korea, and I've already done most of these things last night, haha.
  • petebert, on 12/31/2007, -0/+7"You ever been to a Denny's during the day? It's downright depressing, isn't it?" this guy must be pretty upper crust where does he get his breakfast? bet he calls it a garage
    • SLockhart, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1Yeah I hear the Denny's in the US are mostly run down but in Canada most of them are new clean modern restaurants that offer a decent meal. Plus I used to manage one so I feel the need to defend them for some reason. i know the steaks at the one I managed are top quality.
  • bigtizzle, on 12/31/2007, -0/+7I drunk e-mailed an ex the other night. Worst. Mistake. Ever.
    • bullox, on 01/01/2008, -0/+1I dunno, I drunk texted a chick that I haven't really even talked to that much besides got her number, now I probably blew it.
  • cbob27410, on 12/31/2007, -3/+9The picture of PBR next to the words "crapy beer" must be a mistake.
  • wilf_brim, on 12/31/2007, -0/+2There is a phone that is supposed to prevent drunk dialing. The LG4100 was supposed to be released in the US, but I don't think it ever was. It has a built in brethalyzer. You can program the phone to not allow outgoing calls to ex gfs, or ex spouses, bosses, take out pizza joints, whatever. http://www.news.com/8301-10784_3-6088879-7.html
    Oddly, that is the only think in this list that I'm not guilty of. I don't want to talk to them sober, why in hell would I want to talk to them when I'm drunk. (Although my last ex does. Reminds me to turn off phone tonight and tomorrow)
    • cindya, on 12/31/2007, -0/+1Every male I know gets drunk and pees on things. I'm sure I would if I could...
  • CaviMike, on 12/31/2007, -0/+3I really hope I'm not 'that guy' with the idiotic drunk stories.
  • dupswapdrop, on 12/31/2007, -0/+3Remember to say "you all just watch this!" just before you do it!
  • akatherder, on 12/31/2007, -0/+8Last New Years Eve I learned that you should never drunk dial your ex from the bathroom and let her know which bar you are at. Specifically when your wife is with you.
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