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16 pearls of cheeseburger wisdom

chicagotribune.com — In six months of chronicling hamburgers in Chicago, I've stuffed nearly 60 different ones down my gullet. My cholesterol stayed low, but psychic damage was done. Here are my takeaways.

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  • Awwzm, on 11/05/2009, -0/+27Cheeseburger with a fried egg and bacon. The breakfast of champions.
  • TSCheredar, on 11/05/2009, -0/+24I think most Burgers suffer from being over dressed. Good advice here.
  • Rain12913, on 11/05/2009, -2/+19This list is more like "One Single Person's Burger Preferences". Much of this is complete crap.
  • DirtPile, on 11/05/2009, -0/+13It's for the Chicagoland area.
  • tinkafoo, on 11/05/2009, -0/+12Most bacon doesn't have enough bacon.
  • Lefts, on 11/05/2009, -0/+9You can take my mustard away from my cold, dead hands.
  • rwbrinso, on 11/05/2009, -1/+10Fried doughnut bun FTW.
  • notquitegone, on 11/05/2009, -1/+9WTF did ketchup ever do to you!?
    I can't believe I just read this comment.
  • mandarin, on 11/05/2009, -0/+8You actually got paid to eat hamburgers for 6 months???
  • enantiodromia, on 11/05/2009, -3/+10"In six months of chronicling hamburgers in Chicago, I've stuffed nearly 60 different ones down my gullet"

    He must be awesome at eating; his writing is atrocious.
  • Velocity14, on 11/05/2009, -0/+7wtf... Lettuce and tomato just get in the way? Hardly! Crisp, fresh lettuce and a nice, ripe tomato are perfect for a hamburger. I might be alone on this, but since when did eating a hamburger have to be the most greasy, unhealthy thing you devour? Plus, the most important and delicious add on was missing: avocado. With a li'l bit o' salt and pepper.
  • TheCollective00, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5I live in Las Vegas, and therefore am well versed with the awesomeness of In-N-Out. But I spent a summer in Indianapolis a few years back and miss the hell out of Steak 'n Shake. I also miss White Castle, but those things kept me awake at night with indigestion.
  • myempyrean, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5This article sealed what I'm having for dinner ... (hambugers, not ***** or dick... I felt if I left it open ended I would have gotten bad responses)
  • DrMilkdad, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5We were just trying to have a cheeseburger picnic and it got all ***** UP!
  • denimhead, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5can you has creativity?
  • DirtPile, on 11/05/2009, -0/+5It's Steak 'n' Shake, and I helped!
  • blankoblanko, on 11/06/2009, -0/+4There are only two rules to cheeseburgers:

    IN and OUT
  • StevieJanowski, on 11/05/2009, -1/+5I was wondering what to have for lunch...Burger Bar it is Hubert Keller you better make a good burger
  • Dodobutt222, on 11/05/2009, -0/+4Steak 'n Shake > Culvers in every respect

    P.S. White Castle isn't nationwide? 0.0
  • DirtPile, on 11/05/2009, -0/+4FIX IT!
  • saikyan, on 11/05/2009, -0/+4***** THING SUCKS!
  • homer524, on 11/05/2009, -0/+4Somehow, none of these manage to use enough bacon.
  • bbhill, on 11/05/2009, -0/+4why the hate on lettuce and tomatoes? :(
  • Dodobutt222, on 11/05/2009, -1/+4I LOVE KETCHUP
  • Mysticcal, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2Chicago Tribune should buy me a burger after the ad revenue I generated for them through all those 1pic/page
  • Gumbos, on 11/05/2009, -1/+3Ketchup is great for fries, but keep it the hell away from my burger. Mayo and mustard please.
  • ogre2112, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2Disagree, Feta alone on a good patty is awesome. Definitely should be tried.
  • saikyan, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2I see what you did there.
  • GusterBear, on 11/06/2009, -1/+3Keep all condiments off, and dip as needed.

    BBQ Sauce for the win.
  • Orbital101, on 11/05/2009, -1/+3I came.
  • jc7012, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2dugg for truth.
  • GusterBear, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2I wish American cheese would just go out of existence. Sharp cheddar, thank you.
  • smashblu, on 11/05/2009, -1/+3The Luther!
  • WhoDoneIt, on 11/05/2009, -1/+3Hey, look, you ran out of all your periods in your sentence because you used them all up after the word "lunch".
  • cyborgcommando0, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2Here's a pearl of cheeseburger wisdom: Have a California In-N-Out burger and measure all other burgers by its tasty glory
  • rocknog, on 11/05/2009, -0/+2You are not alone - while there are some burgers I prefer without lettuce and tomato (the Jucy Lucy comes to mind, in most instances, both ingredients only enhance the flavor.
  • copypastry, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1personal preferences:

    patty cooked to medium - medium well
    aged cheddar melted onto the patty
    small bit of mayo on the bun.
    small! bit of dijon mustard. no neon yellow.
    nice juicy tomato slice with a bit of salt on it
    shredded onions.
    and obviously, bacon.

    Your mileage may vary considerably.

    Fried egg is nice once in a while, a runny yolk seeping into the patty is delicious.


    PS FRIES DONE IN DUCK FAT OR CHICKEN FAT ARE AMAZING.
  • smashingmonkey, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1Personally, I think they distract from the flavor and textural experience of a burger made with exceptional beef. But for an everyday burger, they're fine.
  • TheBigBad, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1how is that related?
  • knifesideleft, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1Blue Cheese dressing is amazing on a mushroom swiss burger. I agree that straight up blue cheese is a little too much though.
  • CaptainNoPants, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1Not on the east coast. 5 guys is our In and Out
  • JonnyJ, on 11/05/2009, -5/+6That article was such a waste of time. I cringed when he mentioned avoiding blue cheese and feta, and then showed a photo of a burger with feta with the restaraunts name underneath.


    But I will give him credit for calling out the most atrocious of all condiments, ketchup.
  • inactive, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1In Sedalia Missouri, near the state fairgrounds is a place that serves (if they still call it that) a goober burger. Standard hamburger, but, when they flip it, they put a dab of peanut butter on it and let it melt into the burger. Then serve & top it like normal.
    Sounds gross, but it has an AWESOME flavor.
  • smashingmonkey, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1What we call American cheese is not cheese, although it is very American.
  • CaptainNoPants, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1Penis!
  • JKiddFan, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1greatest job ever...and in and out is def overrated (coming from a native Californian)
  • KahRahTay, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1nope, in north Texas the closest thing we have is Krystal's, and they pretty much suck.
  • andyroo316, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1How is it even wrong? It's doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, but it's correct English.
  • KahRahTay, on 11/06/2009, -0/+1hell ya, the best burgers come with avocado's and a little habanero salsa.
  • Egress99, on 11/09/2009, -0/+1Any story involving burgers will always get a digg. This is a truism of life.
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