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109 Comments
- TheCollective00, on 11/06/2009, -5/+105I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with 'the girls' a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, 'just some friends from work, you don't know them'. I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her. Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my golf clubs so I could get a good view of the whole street when she arrived home from a night out with 'the girls'. When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, crouching behind my golf clubs, that I noticed a hairline crack where the grip meets the graphite shaft on my 3-wood.
Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the pro-shop where I bought it? - SeamusMcCloud, on 11/06/2009, -0/+61you may not know it, but you have a SERIOUS PROBLEM on your hands.
that crack on your 3 wood means you probably have an unorthodox swing. I'd go into the shop and have someone take a look at that. you don't want these situations to keep happening you know - Floobins, on 11/06/2009, -0/+53I just picked up a 4 month old baby and tossed him out of the window, as per your command. What is my next move, sensei?
- phpld, on 11/06/2009, -1/+33I did Taekwondo for years, and it ended with me getting kicked in the balls so hard I just laid on the floor and sweat bullets for 45 minutes while people hung out and told me I was going to be okay. I've never set foot in that place since then, and I have been okay ever since. I also got punched in the spinal cord, and knocked out of the air when trying to do a jump spinning crescent kick. It was the school's owner that got me on that one, and my mid back was bad for a few years after that.
I have since taken up ballroom dancing. Instead of "opponents" I have beautiful women that want to dance with me. Much better setup! - angrytortilla, on 11/06/2009, -1/+29All the advice you need if you're being attacked: kick the balls and do not stop. Add some eye-gouging for good measure.
- tejini, on 11/06/2009, -0/+25To be fair to karate, and to most martial arts taught in the US, the tournament style they teach today in the YMCA and beyond is nothing like the karate actual samurais learned or even what they actually teach in some the schools in Japan/Asia still.
Many martial arts are simply used and taught for ceremonial or structured tournament purposes, as a result not to many people are taught how to kill and maim with these techniques anymore.
Ex. Ōyama Masutatsu http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mas_Oyama - tomjunlee, on 11/06/2009, -1/+26JUDO FTW.
The fact is... you're probably sitting down right now. Sitting down is a sign of laziness. GET UP GET UP AND THROW SOMEONE. - ZaZ2137, on 11/06/2009, -1/+21I dunno how long is the crack?
Also, riveting tale good sir. - edebolt, on 11/06/2009, -0/+18great idea for an article but terrible execution. Isn't Lyoto Machida Karate style setting the bar in MMA?
Feng Shui, Tai Chi are martial arts. That would make a good movie scene. "I am going to ***** you up by rearranging your living room harmonics. You want some of that? well do you?" - Android22, on 11/06/2009, -0/+17i still like the tried and true stab 'em in their sleep technique
- phpld, on 11/06/2009, -0/+14May not be a crack at all. Ask your wife to take her panties back off, and polish the shaft a bit. This story may have a happy ending. Before you know it, you'll be swinging that wood around like a real pro.
- dha07030, on 11/06/2009, -1/+14Get wrist controller then pull out your gun.
- fxu1989, on 11/06/2009, -1/+13Get naked.
- Goldin, on 11/06/2009, -0/+12This opinion piece was extremely limited given the sheer quantity of martial art styles out there.
Being someone who practiced Taekwondo for many years, you can add that to the "Karate" category. It's all about tournaments and very little about self-defense. It seems that individual instructors and schools are the ones who would instruct in self-defense techniques, like those learned in Hapkido.
And yes, the number 1 technique to defending yourself is learning not to do stupid things, like get drunk and look for barfights. - ptoomey, on 11/06/2009, -0/+11And that boys and girls (mostly boys) is why we wear cups when free-sparring.
- Julian88888888, on 11/06/2009, -0/+11Macbeth found out that there are some negative consequences to that...
- fxu1989, on 11/06/2009, -0/+11very gripping story, bro.
- JQP123, on 11/06/2009, -2/+12Krav Maga - Practical self defense minus the mysticism and other BS.
- DanaG, on 11/06/2009, -0/+9Gone-fu.
The art of not being there when trouble starts. - ZaZ2137, on 11/06/2009, -2/+10Or, you could get a concealed carry license and a small handgun......or not get into fights.
- DarkGerbil, on 11/06/2009, -3/+11I can't believe karate was the first one on the list. Punch from the hips? Nobody ***** does that in karate if they aren't doing a kata. Hitting with the toes? Unless you're point sparring and need range you don't hit with your goddamn toes, and if anybody decent at karate DID hit with their toes it would still be enough to knock you the ***** out. Finally, if we're inside your guard and want you to die, an elbow strike is a pretty good ***** choice.
***** like this annoys me. They take the exaggerated basics taught to the eight year old kids and pretend it encompasses the entire martial art.
[/end-rage] - skinny01, on 11/06/2009, -0/+7Do you write for the enzyte commercials?
- Gndoab, on 11/06/2009, -0/+7He has a karate background, but he also has a black belt in BJJ (which takes 15 years or so), and does muy thai.
The only time that the karate really shines through is his ability to control distance. - opticwind, on 11/06/2009, -0/+7I came to Japan to learn the language and improve a lot of my fighting styles, and in the past years have dabbled in quite a few. I'm no expert at any of them (wing tsu is my only real art) but I can tell you what I've seen from many of the meetups.
1. Karate- Effective, and they throw punches like nobody else. But recently, like a few others on this list, the practicality of it has been diminished for sake of easy training and traditionalism.
2. Judo- Ok, it's very very effective on a tatami mat, but the art teaches you to take others down and you're supposed to go with them. I'd hate to fight a judo expert on concrete but I know he'd get pretty roughed up too.
3. Ninjutsu- My cross-training teacher is (I forgot the Japanese) a high apprentice and has been studying since he was 13 (27 now). He said that it's effective when you don't think of it like the movie version of ninjas...he's never used a sword and kunai were for prying things open, not for throwing. This guy was an utter ***** though. He had a pretty good trick...anytime, anywhere, you could ask him to shut his eyes and tell you how many people were in the room, just from the sound. Even as new people came in and others left. Sparring with him was just asking to have your self-esteem destroyed though.
4. Capoeria - I did this for a few weeks...this is the ultimate cross training assist. By itself, it's ultimately useless, but you will build an incredible leg energy, and your agility can sky rocket.
Like Bruce Lee said, everyone has their own style of martial arts. Learn from 1 style, take what works for you, leave the rest, move to the next. - Fleshbeast, on 11/06/2009, -0/+7For those who haven't seen it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2REG3-Wb5gM
- Jaime2000, on 11/06/2009, -0/+7A rousing tale, old chap.
- kelpdip, on 11/06/2009, -1/+7I threw the person that was typing this comment.
- chuckDontSurf, on 11/06/2009, -0/+6Holy ***** I can't stop laughing at that comment.
- damendred, on 11/06/2009, -0/+5Truth, also GSP has a Karate base, but doesn't display it as overtly as Machida.
I assume they were referring to the McDojos that teach those no-gaurd from-the-hip kata's that will end up getting you face punched. - kaosethema, on 11/06/2009, -1/+5gun style
- icndvl, on 11/06/2009, -0/+4It's not the martial art it's the practitioner.
- Sideshowslob, on 11/06/2009, -2/+6I liked the part where they threw the paint.
- branndon, on 11/06/2009, -1/+5Someone should have told Lyoto Machida that Karate blows. Might have saved him the embarrassment of being the UFC Light Heavy Weight champ.
/s I know he has an awkward stance and is hard to hit, but he is a Karate master and it's served him well. - Gndoab, on 11/06/2009, -0/+4although to be honest, feeling someone's joint extending beyond the normal range and hearing the person screaming as you do so would probably be pretty traumatizing. that's why most people that have fought for fun for long periods of time don't like to do it for real.
- daliminator, on 11/06/2009, -0/+4@WiseGuy1020
Don't know how many real fights you've been in, but if you're any good you shouldn't be on the ground. - falstaff, on 11/06/2009, -0/+4http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=85716 ...
Tae Kwon Do seems to work. - Ferago, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3BJJ focuses on ground submissions right?
Well in a real fight I doubt you want to be crawling around on the floor, seems like a good way to get stomped. - imarockerbaby, on 11/06/2009, -1/+4shaq fu. all that's necessary
- Gndoab, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3hence why I said boxing, wrestling, and BJJ.
if you are in a fight with more than one person, then the best defense is to run.
in a fight with one person, you hit them in the face/stomach to stun them, take them down with the wrestling skills, and then submit them with the BJJ. - sloppyjoes7, on 11/06/2009, -1/+4Where is Tae Kwon Do? I studied Karate and Judo, primarily, and it's similar to TKD. However, TKD uses almost no arms/elbows whatsoever, unlike Karate. It has no grappling or throws. It's pretty worthless, even though it's the world's largest martial art.
Any useful martial art needs to teach more. Arms, legs, throws, and ground fighting. At my school, they taught Karate and Judo. That's a good combination. - irfanmp, on 11/06/2009, -1/+4Hamster Style: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQrHsrKIspM
- silver26, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3man that was intense.
- ElysianGold, on 11/06/2009, -2/+5Are you serious? Do you even know what aikido is? Its sole purpose is to wreak absolute havoc on your joints, it's a very effective fighting style.
- javidpk, on 11/06/2009, -2/+5I know KUNG FU:)
- ungus, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3FTA: "If that list is any sort of clue, by the time you become an advanced ninjutsu martial artist you’ll be able to spear-fight an army of attackers from the back of your invisible exploding horse while using the stars to find your way to Burger King."
Dugg.
Sweet Jesus, I wish I could digg even harder just for that line. - MuffinPatrol, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3This was actually a pretty funny list, just was hoping it was a little longer.
- czarcasm, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3Show me
- Ymeg, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3the downside is, unless you train in Israel, it is unlikely that you are going to learn everything or have an expert teaching you.
- richlw, on 11/06/2009, -0/+3read him his rights: NO ONE CARES!
Twitter police...serious business - JigoroKano, on 11/06/2009, -0/+2That's awesome man. It always kills me when I see TKD people with their hands down at their hips.
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