What is Digg?55 Comments
- NuttyAvatar, on 12/02/2008, -0/+10I know which one i wanna ride ;)
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -1/+9The ***** is all this about?
- jitterbits, on 12/02/2008, -0/+8WTF just happened?
- haikuFU, on 12/02/2008, -0/+7(Host Intro)
Let's meet contestant #1
He's a schitzophrenic serial killer clown
Who says women love his sexy smile.
Let's find out if his charm will work on Joann.
Joann, what's your question?
(Joann Maria Guare)
Contestant #1, I believe first impressions last forever,
So let's say you were to come over to my parents' house
And have dinner with me and my family.
Tell me what you'd do to make that first impression really stay.
(Johan Marcus Guy)
Let's see, hmm, well I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux, ha!
But I doubt it.
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your mama in the eye and tell her ***** you!
Hurry up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghetti,
I'd pinch her lumpy ass and tell her get the food ready!
Your dad would probably start trippin and get me pissed
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his ***** lips!
It's dinner time, we're hearin' grace from your mother
I pull a 40 out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister, I'll tell you this
You know for only 13 she got some big *****!
After that, your dad would try to jump again
And only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin!
After your mom does the dishes and the silverwear,
I'd dry ***** her till I nut in my underwear!!!! - jgzman, on 12/02/2008, -0/+7I don't know, but I think it was the most subtlety epic thing I've ever seen.
- 1longtime, on 12/02/2008, -0/+6Dunno, but hopefully these trolls are setting up a good punchline or I expect a full refund.
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -2/+7Ma'am, have we met?
I'm a bicycle enthusiast stretching some twenty years back. I originally owned a BMX bike, but i've traded that one up over the years for a three-seat bike that I ride alone.
I hope you get this message, there are people who care still out there, Joann.
Yours,
Johan Marcus Guy - jitterbits, on 12/02/2008, -0/+5I'd like to pose the possibly wacky theory that this is all the work of some insane author whose initials are likely JMG.
- Jdshald, on 12/02/2008, -0/+4dugg for the bitch cruiser bike
lol didn't expect that one - inactive, on 12/02/2008, -1/+5Nice to meet you Johan,
Your story of rags to riches has given me renewed vigor in this car and motorcycle world, you know, you seem like a really great person. People take the world too seriously nowadays. With "asteroids" that are going to kill us, but you know what I say? SO WHAT? if we get killed by something, we'll be dead so we won't know that we got killed.
What do you think? Am I alone? - cyvek, on 12/02/2008, -0/+3as jitter said, they both have the same initials...
and they both use parentheses to explain their acronyms....
and they both have a single profile picture...
need i go on? - hoveman, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2Didn't RTFA, but living in Chicago, there are way to many morons that ride fixed gear that shouldn't be. These are for riding on tracks, not freaking heavy traffic roadways. They can't ever slow down as they don't have any brakes and try to unsuccessfully skid stop, wipe out on corners when they have to keep pedaling and hit their toes on the front wheel, and often don't wear helmets. Stupid.
- blinker265, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2people have way too much spare time
- ChromaVita, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2Wait, so that means the chick is available now? DIBS!
- rayefrenzy, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2That bike with a ladder is a tall bike for WUSSES.
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -1/+3Alone? Ha-ha LOL (laughing with great loudness)
Hardly, I've thought the very same thing. I suppose it's hard to find raging intellectuals like us anymore, and imagine! Us here, in two pair.
Like socks descended from heaven... this truly is a miracle, Joann, that we understand each other so. You know, I won't lie to you though, I prayed for this.
I woke up last night, and I prayed, I said "God, help me find someone who won't steal my car, or use me to get pregnant, or use me to buy a ticket to Mexico, or attempt to kill me after learning that I didn't actually write Harry Potter. I know that we've never really seen eye to eye -- you have eyes, right? -- but if you could do this for me, i'll be willing to diversify my portfolio more responsibly and cut down on the robitussin"
That's what I said Joann, and here you are.
Like a little angel in the December snow. - bonk2k, on 12/02/2008, -1/+3Probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen one person do with digg comments.
- bonk2k, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2Something truly bizarre and truly amazing are happening right now. I usually hate it when people screenshot stuff on digg and submit it, but digg needs to see this.
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -1/+3I wish I could answer for everyone, Joann, I really do.
All I know is why I hurt, and maybe you'll find some solace in that.
I hurt because it makes me realize i'm not dead, the pain keeps me relevant, alive even, so that I can hold onto the memories that I cherish for such brief seconds.
I've always been afraid to love, walking up to those I care about and having them strike me down, like a dying dog wanting to be put out of it's misery.
I was looking for my euthanasia, Joann. But now i've found something so much better. I've found you.
Can it really be true? The horrors of my life have all but repeated themselves time and time again in front of me, in the mockery I call my life, but it seems as thought at last the clouds have parted way just enough to let me peer into the perfection of the heavens above. - Rivetgeek, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2flipping off....it's flipping.
- jackasher, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2the cardboard bike?
- jackasher, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2Is this really trolling? They aren't really inciting anyone or inviting comments...it's like a public conversation that shouldn't be public.
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -1/+3It can't be, Johan, but I see now that you're a burning star, looking to serve the greater good, and bringing beauty to our world through your good efforts.
I'd be lying if I told you I didn't want you here with me, but I understand your decision. For what it's worth, know that you can remember me as I will you, and in our darkest moments, the flame of your presence will be able to warm my heart.
I feel like we've never gotten to know each other, yet we've known each other forever, and in this tiny window of our souls, i'll be able to keep you forever.
But maybe forever isn't long enough..
Yours,
Joann Marla Guare - gregdigg, on 12/02/2008, -0/+2like people who comment on digg. oops!
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -1/+3You're right Joann, both time and place no longer matter, only our acceptance of our new life will ever matter.
But i'm afraid -- but not of life anymore Joann, not of life! -- I'm afraid I signed up for the Coast Guard three days ago, and they'd have me going out to Miami Friday.
I'm so sorry, Joann.
I promise to think of you, I really do.
I don't know what to say, so i'll just say goodbye.
Goodbye Joann,
Johan Marcus Guy - inactive, on 12/02/2008, -5/+6I wish I could find a man that was responsible enough to pay his taxes, yet spontaneous enough to appreciate wacky bicycle design.
It always seems like it's one or the other.
With sadness from the very essence of my soul,
Joann Marla Guare - sanguinekane, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1I love freak bikes...
- SawButter, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Wanna go for a ride ?
- CK20XX, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Hm...
Bike 1.) Looks like a bike Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem would use.
Bike 2.) I did not want to learn a new definition for the word "ride"...
Bike 3.) There's no excuse for being unable to bicycle at that age.
Bike 4.) What happens if one of the tires goes flat?
Bike 5.) I'd like to see two rams ride this bike.
Bike 6.) Solid Snake would love this bike.
Bike 7.) Looks useful for helping divorced couples work out their problems.
Bike 8.) "So remember, if the women don't find ya handsome, they should at least find ya handy." Or footy in this case, perhaps...
Bike 9.) I wonder if this bike would catch fire if you rode too fast...
Bike 10.) The most important thing to remember about climbing ladders on wheels: never do it. - minnasouljah, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Who needs bikes when you have pimped out segways!
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -2/+3OMG (Oh My Lord), Johan, your story has touched me so deeply.
I've been crying for the last three minutes, because I realize how hard it's been for both of us, living as best we can off of the vague desperation and loneliness in our lives.
When my last lover left me some ten months and three days ago, he called me obsessive. In reality, I think he just wanted to hurt me.
Tell me why do we hurt, Johan? Why do we hurt other people? - Impressa, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Add a Comment — No HTML please. Comments are editable for 5 min.
- hugopolsky, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1If I could bite the tires of those bikes, I'd put them in my room and tell them stories.
- inactive, on 12/02/2008, -2/+3Johan, don't think that you're less-than, you've never been incomplete for a single moment in your life. You've been a lost soul. A lost soul that's been wandering so long it's mistaken it's path with that of escape.
It's time for us to come together now, and now on, our unity will have mattered more than the errors in your life or mine, it will be the unspoken message of truth that will purge all of our sins.
We were never lost, we just hadn't a place to go, until now.. - xPhasm, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Anybody else think Garrys Mod when they saw the picture?
- MojaveOnline, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Nice pictures. I took a pic of a triple-decker bike here:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/rgourley/29771722/ - beartamer, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1I've seen such bikes on some sort of weird bikes party =)
There are some pics: http://fotki.yandex.ru/users/beartamer/view/85942/ - hepj, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/bik/930246640.h ...
I'm not sure what's more insane about that bike ... riding in a circle or the price tag. - diggtochina, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1i see those ladder bikes all over chicago. first i want to know what their problem is and then i want to know... whats their ***** problem??
- Featherlake, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Adding a bike I saw when I was on my travels in Ghana:
http://jeremytucker.blogspot.com/2008/03/what-type ... - bocce, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1I like that wooden bike--awesome work!
That skywalker bike can kill you; if I'm not mistaken, I believe powerlines are 15 feet high, but then some are attached to roofs so if you ain't careful, you're bike won't be the only thing smokin'. - petebot, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1No, he's rocking the devil horns.
- nobleexperiment, on 12/02/2008, -0/+1Where's the Tour De France Bike Devil in this list?
If he's not here, He probrably was omitted because of his awesomeness to declare victory over all tall and wooden bikes you see on any critical mass rides on gizmodo.
http://blog.makezine.com/archive/2007/03/100_squar ... - locthebloke, on 12/02/2008, -0/+0"You're gonna try to ride it all day long, but you're going to fail 'cause it's Wild Wacky Action Bike."
- fenderjazz, on 12/02/2008, -1/+1Why not just make a seat with a hole for your junk?
- mecharabbit, on 12/02/2008, -2/+2Actually, men should never ride any bicycle. If you like to use your penis, that is.
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/04/health/nutrition ... -
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