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44 Comments
- redcolumbine, on 11/11/2009, -1/+22No wonder some innocent guppy got mutated into an enormous monster.
- emecks, on 11/12/2009, -0/+18Pffft, that's what golf balls ARE… Nessie's *****.
- makotech222, on 11/12/2009, -0/+16jesus christ, scientists are still wasting money trying to find this stupid hoax?
- Laminarcissus, on 11/12/2009, -1/+17Okay, I'll ask the question -- why do we make golf balls, something with maybe an 85 percent chance of at some point getting lost in nature, to release heavy metals and other toxins when they decompose?
- Miloboy5, on 11/12/2009, -1/+15"The best thing we can do is stop adding to the problem. Take care to keep your balls on the greens and fairways and don't hit balls into wild areas or bodies of water."
Wait.... I'm supposed to hit it onto the green?? That's what I've been doing wrong all these years! - dascientist1337, on 11/12/2009, -0/+14To play golf
- MacBookForMe, on 11/11/2009, -1/+14Golf balls have killed that LochNess lady monstar then
- Vaiper, on 11/12/2009, -0/+10He didn't say that. The article did.
- coloradowild, on 11/11/2009, -0/+8Way too funny! Very interesting article.
- exeprime, on 11/12/2009, -0/+6Seriously? The advice they give is "don't hit balls in the water or the wild"? How about making balls that are environment-friendly?
- Curufir, on 11/12/2009, -0/+5There are a few biologists investigating Loch Ness because it has a quite interesting ecology.
Unfortunately as soon as a biologist sets foot in that part of Scotland they're automatically going to be classed as nutters who are searching for Nessie. - Jaleho, on 11/12/2009, -0/+4"The sea was angry that day my friends... like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli..."
- miggyb, on 11/12/2009, -0/+4Troll harder.
- Anulith, on 11/12/2009, -0/+4Approximately 2 months in the future:
Scientists and locals work together to remove hundreds of thousands of golf balls from Loch Ness
2 Days Later:
Scientists have noticed a strange phenomenon occurring to the golf balls recovered from Loch Ness. The balls seem to be expanding, scientists are still trying to determine the exact nature of the phenomenon. They have requested that stores selling the recycled balls remove them from their shelves until further research can be done but say that there is no need for concern if you have already bought one.
The Next Day:
Scientists investigating the strange phenomenon occurring with the golf balls removed from Loch Ness have made a startling discovery. After sawing one in half to study, scientists were puzzled to find what appears to be an embryo of some sort. Initial attempts at identification have been inconclusive but samples have been sent for DNA testing.
The Next Week:
The Loch Ness "Golf Ball Eggs" continue to grow and scientists are still having trouble determining the species of the embryo growing inside. They are requesting that anyone who has one of the eggs should return it immediately.
One Month Later:
Death, destruction, and egg shells were all that were found at the laboratory studying the Loch Ness Eggs. Authorities are now searching for what some are calling "An army of baby Loch Ness Monsters." God help us all if they are allowed to grow any further. - tacojohn48, on 11/12/2009, -0/+3Perhaps we could make more green golf balls. They always have them when you go play putt-putt; maybe big golf courses could buy the green ones too.
- jerryudigg, on 11/12/2009, -0/+3Any Pro V1's?
- dynamitshikoku1, on 11/12/2009, -0/+3collect the balls, and resell them refurbished to ranges and golfers. There's some guy who swims everyday for golf balls and refurbishes them, he's has made quite a profit.
- pdrap, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2Maybe they're coming from here. Looks like a driving range here.
http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&q=Loch+Ness, ... - fotoman607, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2reminds me of this crazy guy: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/09/man- ...
- daeyeth, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2FTA: "Take care to keep your balls on the greens and fairways and don't hit balls into wild areas or bodies of water"
That's as impractical a solution as the collection process. As if Tiger didn't have enough on his shoulders with his potentially declining game, now he's got "killing the environment" in the back of his head if he plays bad - Terwa, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2They weren't quite on par with that one...
- askantik, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2Because we're awesome like that. This kind of super intelligent decision-making on our part can be found just about everywhere you look.
- Crimeodial, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2Holy crap you're an idiot. All the article is saying is it would be a good idea to make golf balls out of non toxic stuff, since they get lost in nature all the time. I'm sure knew that, but you just want to toll. Go jump in front of a bus.
- JoeParanoid, on 11/12/2009, -0/+2300,000 lost golf balls a year in America alone? And we even left them behind on the moon.
- miggyb, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1WTF wasn't my first reaction.
- EnderSaveUs, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1There's something very comforting yet disturbing to me about this article:
"We are planning to collaborate with environmentalists in America to conduct more tests...."
The comforting fact is that American scientists are still looked upon with good regard.
The disturbing fact is they called our scientists environmentalists (not bashing environmentalists... but environmental science and "environmentalism" are very different... the science may be motivated or influenced by environmentalism but they are very distinct). - BotaXero, on 11/12/2009, -1/+2I guess the Scottish can't miss the water hazard.
- dascientist1337, on 11/12/2009, -4/+5You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don't you just go HOME? That's your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!
- tacojohn48, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1I think these might be too deep to cheaply harvest.
- palehorse864, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1The Loch Ness monster was asked for comment.
"I'm a grim bloody fable!" - PowderedToasty, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1How come when people go out looking for "The Loch Ness Monster" they are looking for one animal? They need to be looking for a small population, and an environment that can support a small population, unless they really think one dinosaur has been hiding out alone for the past 60 million years.
- ddefranza, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1Exactly.
- palmer, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1Not without pictures.
- lcllam, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1PHARK THEM BONNIE NESSIE BEASTS, LADDIE!!!!!
Getting old... :( - hereticoftruth, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1Locals know Nessie's eggs have been used as golf balls since the beginning of the game. And they don't pay 100k for them either.
- tacojohn48, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1I was going to go with eggs, but that works too.
- meandnips, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1Golf and Nessie, two great Scottish inventions.
- sapphirecut, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1That's a lot of balls !
- KevinRowz, on 11/12/2009, -0/+1The only logical explanation is that the Nessie really likes golf.
- lalandica, on 11/12/2009, -0/+0wow... I guess skinny dipping in the lake off hole 9 was a bad idea then...
- tradeplumbing, on 11/12/2009, -0/+0So... the point of this article is to tell people not to suck at golf? >.>
- georgelulu, on 11/12/2009, -1/+1If Nessie didn't die with the dinosaurs, I'm sure we've finished the job par none.
- gfryesc, on 11/12/2009, -4/+1oh, so the eco-climate alarmists have pointed at a new 'threat' to validate their existence? sure, in the end only Obama will be allowed to golf. and gold he has, in 9 months more than Bush did in his first 2 years, not that Digg would run that as a front page story.
that's liberalism for you, the elite are exempt from the oppresion they exert on everyone else. - cor315, on 11/12/2009, -16/+1Lets ban one of the most popular sports of all time because laminarclssus says they're bad for the environment.
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