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How To Drink at College... And Get Away With It

cr33pteam.com — So you want to get *****. Trouble is, the powertripping RA down the hall would like nothing more than to kick your ass out of the dorms forever. What can you do? This.

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  • michnuc, on 05/01/2008, -3/+78Having actually been an RA in a dorm I've naturally got some comments

    There are two types of RAs. There are those who are sticklers for the rules (and will hunt out offenders), and there are those who are there for the free housing and food. The sticklers will jump on any excuse to find out if you've been drinking, so there's no way around them, and you have to find someplace else to drink. The other ones will feel obligated to act when their ass is on the line. Meaning: if the whole hall knows, another RA knows, or it's obvious you're drinking, they will have to act. Otherwise, they might overlook somethings as long as you don't treat them like an idiot.

    Dead giveaways that you're drinking in your dorm room:
    1. Door - You normally always have your door open. Now you have it shut and people keep going in and out of your room. TIP: Limit number of people in room, limit their movement in and out, normally have your door at least 50% shut.

    2. Noise - Room with lots of noise and shut door. TIP: don't invite that loud girl who likes to be the center of attention. Keep the number of people low.

    3. Smell - Liquor, Beer and Vodka especially, are not hard to smell outside the door, down the hall or on your breath. TIP: Use sugary flavorful mixers for the hard stuff, skip the beer.

    4. Hiding alcohol + bottles - TIP: Don't you or your friends ever leave the room with a bottle/cup/can of alcohol, leave it in the room. Don't decorate your room with empty bottles, it can garner extra attention. Throw out empties in off-campus trash (not the hall trash can!). Try to really hide everything, and not make it look obvious.

    TL/DR sumup: Most RAs aren't dumb, don't treat them like they are, and don't give them an excuse to keep an eye on you. Wait to have real parties until you get off-campus and get a house/apartment, it's worth the wait.
    • spammishking, on 05/01/2008, -5/+12First of all the author is an idiot. "No warrant = no entrance. This is good standard operating procedure in all cases, since you don't know if the cops will try to plant some drugs or booze on you." I won't even go into this one....
      Second I too am a former RA, and I can say that it's not my job to run around and 'bust' students, it's just to keep students safe. If you come into the dorms drunk, but functioning then i don't care what you've been up to, but if you are being carried, and have vomit all over you, your own stupidity just created a problem. The biggest thing about not getting caught is simply not being stupid, I have better things to do then act like someones daddy.
      • Ajajadude, on 05/01/2008, -0/+5I don't think the author realizes the moment you've signed that on-campus housing contract odds are, depending on the college, you've signed away some of your basic rights.

        I had the same RA my first two years (he left for an internship my first year and randomly wound up my RA my second year) of college and he was one of those guys who turned a blind eye unless you stumbled up to him with a bottle of booze in your hand. If he didn't see the act being committed, he didn't care (my roomate would come in late at night high as a kite while my RA was sitting in our room playing Madden with me and didn't do anything more than roll his eyes).

        But, I've also had those RAs where they'll nail you to a wall if you so much as joked about drinking (if you were underage) and those are the ones that will actively seek out underage drinkers. Of course, they make me wonder if they're actually undercover cops and not students.
        • dinostabOMG, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1I wonder, though, if those agreements would hold up. If you rent an apartment, the proprietors don't have the right to come in whenever they want, regardless of the agreement. Why should dorms be any different? Other than costing a lot more for a closet you have to share with some douche, of course.
        • JoeMenthol, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0Many college housing contracts have a section that requires students to comply with "agents of the school," including RAs, Campus Police, etc. They generally also have sections relating to "Public Safety" and entrance into rooms under certain safety-related situations.

          So, for example, RA or Campus Police knock on your door and you refuse to answer because there's beer everywhere. If it's obvious you were in your room (like you were just yelling, "I love booooooze!"), you either get written up for non-compliance, or they key in if they judge someone in the room is at risk (can hear vomiting, someone is crying/screaming, etc.). Under certain circumstances that you agreed to when you signed the contract, you have given them permission to enter.

          Besides, your school's Housing department is not a court of law. They don't have to worry about due process, just evicting troublemakers.
      • Shuukyoku, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Yeah...which would hold up if you didn't live in the University's housing. And if the people busting in were cops instead of RA's. But I've had pretty much the same experience, you've either got the hardass or the cheapass, and at least cheapass can be bought. Often, ironically, with liquor.

        Of course, my first quarter I smoked my RA a blunt before I knew who he was, so he didn't really have much reason or inclination to mess with me.
    • Johntp, on 05/01/2008, -3/+4As a student who has gotten caught by RA's before. Not all RAs are like you. There are a lot who like to be hard asses.
      • Danktolker, on 05/01/2008, -0/+8Hence the "two types" of RAs as was described. I guess that entire explanation was hard to miss by someone who has been caught by an RA on more than one occasion.
    • trogdorBURN, on 05/01/2008, -0/+105. Clinking cans - This one always gives it away for them.
      6. Speaking loudly about alcohol - ERRR GIMME ANOTHER BREWSKI BRO!
      7. Ping-Pong Balls - Not hard to hear if they are having a rather heated game of pong.

      That's how I catch them and I really only bust them if they are jerks about it or being painfully obvious that they are drinking.
      • Ajajadude, on 05/01/2008, -5/+12Anyone who plays beer pong deserves to caught.
      • weeman43302, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1We got that down, I live in a suite and we have a common room and three doubles. You just go into one of the double rooms and set up a table, keep both doors closed and your set. No noise in the hallway and you never get caught.
      • Shuukyoku, on 05/01/2008, -0/+28. Uncontrollable vomiting. All I'm saying is that if you live in the dorms, keep the ***** to shoe level. Wait till you have a toilet you don't share with the floor before you force your head down it.
    • paintpro, on 05/01/2008, -1/+2I drank with my RA in my freshman dorm room. As long as we didn't get anyone hurt or make a mess he was cool.
    • Breticus07, on 05/01/2008, -0/+7That loud girl who has to be the center of attention... they annoy me to a point of no return
    • dagamer34, on 05/01/2008, -1/+2I hear a lot of people saying "Don't be stupid about it and you'll be ok".

      Problem I have with this is that the people who want to drink in a dorm weren't very smart to begin with and you have a better chance of winning the lottery than trying to remember to do this stuff WHILE you are drinking. Seriously, wait for a party or until you live off-campus.
      • zephyr42, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1I agree.... it's hard not to be stupid in the event of consumption.
    • mfratt, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Good tips, but not fool proof. I (and some friends) were caught twice with (quite large amounts of) liquor and beer on two separate occasions freshman year. The first time they smelt the hard liquor in the hallway (despite taking precautions such as towel under the door, window open, and fan blowing), the second time they smelt hookah (tobacco, not pot), came in to investigate, and found a good $100 worth of barely touched booze in the room. Both occasions involved the dumping of said booze and essentially a slap on the wrist.

      I think our problem was that someone or another was drinking something in the room pretty much every day for the entire year, so it was either inevitable that we would get busted, or we just got too lax. I mean, we chiefed just about every day in those rooms too, but taking the right precautions we were fine.
    • EdgarVerona, on 05/01/2008, -0/+5People would be surprised how many RAs that they think are hard-asses are actually just people who don't want to get kicked out of their job because they're caught not enforcing rules.

      I was an RA for 3 years, and every year I began with a private meeting with my residents: one where I told them this very fact in no uncertain terms. I, like most RAs, don't care if you drink. I don't care if you do drugs. What I do care about is being a resource when you need it, and keeping my job. If you can keep quiet enough so that no one knows what you're doing, I can look the other way and mind your privacy. If you're throwing a loud party next door and I'm going to get thrown out if another RA comes by and sees me ignoring it... well, I've got to do what I've got to do.

      The thing is, once people realize the previously stated point, things are pretty mellow. Everyone knows that if I (I being any given RA) actually report you that you probably gave me little choice, and they also know that I'm more interested in leaving you alone and letting you do whatever you want as long as it doesn't mean my ass.

      Hopefully this can be more helpful advice than the confrontational and unproductive advice given in the article.
    • Novion76, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2I'm an RA and personally, every time I encounter this kind of a situation the thought in my head is "aw god damn it"

      We don't look forward to this kind of stuff. Seriously, it's more work for us, and it's not something we enjoy, but it's something we have to do. If the policy says it, our job is on the line. It doesn't mean the policy reflect personal belief, but it's there for a reason. Personally, I could care less that you drink. That's your own choice.

      I tell my residents at the beginning of the year that I know some of them will drink. Do it off campus somewhere where I can't find you, and don't come stumbling home piss ass drunk, because otherwise I'll be forced to write you up. Not that hard of advice to follow.

      Of the people we catch, seriously, you asked for it. Usually it's loud noise that brings us to your door. The two times I've had incidents, I was just trying to warn residents ahead of time to keep it down so they don't get noise complaints. Just a courtesy thing. And then we hear you through the door. We hear you when you look through the peephole and say "Oh *****, RAs." We hear you when you are in your panic trying to hide your bottles. We verify the information you give us. If you lie, you only make things harder for yourself. Seriously, it's not the end of the world.

      If you're going to drink, be intelligent about it? Keep it small, or go somewhere else.
    • zephyr42, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1*Cheers to the awesome RA's we've all (hopefully) had in our college days!!*

      But really I used to smoke "hookah" with my RA all the time.... he didn't have much time to monitor the rest of the smokers in our building.
  • EarlOfLade, on 05/01/2008, -6/+55I don't understand the problem, where I come from, we could legally drink in what is similar to High school.
    When I started at the University, each Friday after lunch, we went down to the store on campus and got a case of 24 bottles of beer and took it back to our study hall were we started the "voerspiel" to the weekend, all 100% legally of course.

    So, the best answer to the question is: Move to a country with some sane drinking laws.
    • Johntp, on 05/01/2008, -1/+8Some of the laws here in the US make no sense!
      • Ockniel, on 05/01/2008, -12/+1some?
        • nreynolds, on 05/01/2008, -0/+23yes. some. i, personally, like the "murder is illegal" law. but that's just me.
        • arrjka, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1Yeah, just you.
        • Dundasbro, on 05/01/2008, -1/+5YAY FOR ANARCHY! I MUST LOOK SO COOL APPROVING OF ANARCY AND TEENAGE REBELLION! CHE GUAVERA WAS SO AWESOME, HE WAS COMMUNIST AND STOOD UP AGAINST THE MAN AND CORPORATISM! SEE, LOOK AT HIS FACE AS A LOGO ON MY SHIRT, ISNT THAT COOL!
        • santaliqueur, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1You expecting someone to agree with you and say "no you're right, ALL the laws make no sense"
        • skcoder, on 05/02/2008, -0/+0All the laws make sense if you take into perspective why they were made. A country is most prosperous if people work hard till death, pay taxes, and don't enjoy themselves. Hence, its essentially illegeal to drink and have sex until you're 18 or 21, its illegeal to smoke weed, and its illegeal to kill 'other tax payers.'

          "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
    • passedoutghost, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1That's the same here in Australia. *****, our uni even has a bar. Granted they don't serve anything harder hitting than beer during the day, but we've had several guys turn up to one of our legal philosophy classes and talk about the most enlightening stuff. Therefore beer = brain food.
  • bitterg, on 05/01/2008, -0/+14They key to a dorm party is to have it remain a small affair. If you get 15 people in your room, you are *****. You're asking to be busted and you deserve it.

    In my day, we drank shots in various rooms but did the partying outside. Helps when you go to school in Miami :)
  • akkibaba, on 05/01/2008, -1/+26I was an RA for two years. I made it clear to my residents that I wouldn't patrol the halls to bust any parties I saw, but if they made it very obvious that there was heavy drinking going on it would leave me with no choice but to act. This is because while I myself had no problems with college kids choosing to drink a few beers, my job was on the line. So we had a type of wink-wink arrangement where they kept the noise to a reasonable and I pretended not to hear anything.
    • castevens, on 05/01/2008, -2/+8I did the same thing, and they took advantage of it. Like you wouldn't believe. So I laid the smackdown (read: wrote a bunch of them up), and then became the most unpopular RA, they just don't realize that they left me with little choice.
      • DucoNihilum, on 05/01/2008, -9/+5Dick
        • giveer, on 05/01/2008, -0/+7why is he a dick? because some underage teenagers don't know how to drink without being dicks? I wouldn't put my job on the line for them either.. respect runs both ways, and being willing to bend the rules when everyone is being reasonable is more than fair, and very respectable to those -yes, kids- who know how to handle themselves.
        • DucoNihilum, on 05/01/2008, -3/+1Screwing with somebodys life because they're an adult who happens to be drinking is kind of a dick move.
          • castevens, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3It was a private school. They got a slap on the wrist and a letter sent home saying they got a slap on the wrist. The parents can decide whether or not their life is to be screwed with
          • Firehed, on 05/01/2008, -1/+2And flagrantly violating the rules and expecting other people to risk their jobs so that you can go on doing so is much more of a dick move. Get your drinking problem under control and you might be able to realize this. I'm not taking a side here, but most RAs are not there just to piss people off.
    • Ajajadude, on 05/01/2008, -0/+7One of my RAs would always tell us "As long as you're not humping the walls or something, I'm not going to check things out." He was a great RA.
  • asnider, on 05/01/2008, -12/+20Easy: go to college in Canada or Europe where the legal drinking age is generally much lower.
    • lazersailer, on 05/01/2008, -0/+6I don't know why you're being dugg down.... I go to UBC in Vancouver and RAs can't write kids up for drinking, only for being loud after quiet hours... So this seems pretty silly.
    • Flashman, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Or Australia - legal drinking age 18.
    • skcoder, on 05/02/2008, -0/+0Oh trust me, I would have if I'd known how much uni in Arizona sucks.
  • UltramegaOK, on 05/01/2008, -0/+9Go to a friend or coworkers house off campus. Problem solved.

    Remember to designate a driver or take the bus back to campus. :P
    • drafhk, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1... And don't let the cops come in. See item #7.
  • Zihuatanejo, on 05/01/2008, -3/+6But if you cover your peephole, how will you know if someone is waiting to ambush your with a sock full of pennies?
    • Johntp, on 05/01/2008, -0/+5Behold the scotch tape hinge.
    • floatingorb, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Good point about the *peephole* but I never look through them anyways...when the light is blocked, that's when the pneumatic gun is fired through it {if they wanted to get you're penny-sock; Hey,some might. You never know.}. Also, It's still a good idea to keep it covered because It might be possible to look through it from the backside with the right optics.
  • InTheBurbs, on 05/01/2008, -1/+47A guide to drinking in college? Is there really anyone out there who can't figure it out for themselves?
    Step 1: Get alcohol
    Step 2: Drink it somewhere you won't be discovered
    Simple
    • castevens, on 05/01/2008, -1/+29Step 3: ???
      Step 4: DRnUk
    • drafhk, on 05/01/2008, -3/+1It seems like common sense, doesn't it?
      But always remember: common sense isn't.
      • Firehed, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Especially after copious amounts of alcohol have been applied to the situation.
    • TheCaterpillar, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Thats rather tautological. I have a better plan for not getting caught drinking...
      Step 1: Get alcohol
      Step 2: drink it and don't get caught
      I never got caught every time I have adhered to those rules.
      When you are a freshman and don't know about all the parties or off campus people you either drink in your dorm room or outside somewhere, so you either risk getting caught by the police or by your RA.
  • Pyroteknik, on 05/01/2008, -1/+10State schools have to follow federal mandates about underage drinking and drug use. Solution: go to a hippie private school that only wants you to make good decisions while your RAs just remind you to recycle the cans from your empty 30-rack instead of trashing them.
    • sdub86, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1That's exactly what I did. WIN.
    • GTanaka, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1UC Berkeley may be a state school, but they don't give a sh*t about drinking. Thank you, Civil Rights Movement hippies of the 70s, I salute you.
    • thedb, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0Yup! Add Washington University in St. Louis to the list. As long as you don't get wasted and cause a scene, you're fine.
  • solarweasel, on 05/01/2008, -6/+10buried. this is stupid.
  • GOVStooge, on 05/01/2008, -4/+7Penny-lock the nosey ***** RA their room if they insist on involving themselves in your *****.

    • jmkiii, on 05/01/2008, -4/+2Step 1 *see above
      Step 2 Go to Jail
      Step 3 ????????
      Step 4 Profit!!
    • EdgarVerona, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Yeah, that's a good way to solve the problem... right. Blame the person who has to do their job when you start acting like an idiot. Here's a hint for you... though if I actually have to tell you this for you to know it, I don't know how long you'll be able to survive in college: when given the choice between helping someone have a good time and keeping their job, 100% of the population will choose keeping their job. If you push it to the point where it's going to be one or the other, what the ***** do you expect is going to happen?
      • GOVStooge, on 05/01/2008, -0/+17.5 years and 2 degrees later(BS and MS in Physics)... I think I did alright.
  • killbert24, on 05/01/2008, -21/+3Or, wait, here's a groundbreaking idea... don't drink!
    • Johntp, on 05/01/2008, -1/+17The problem is I'm a like a chocoholic, only with beer.
    • Lane, on 05/01/2008, -2/+9ooh ooh! were telling people what to do with their lives now? Go ***** yourself and die!
      • killbert24, on 05/01/2008, -3/+1Its just an option. A lot of people think they HAVE to drink while at college, but that isn't necessarily true.
      • TripcodeMel, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0***** those fascist pigs, right? Get over yourself.
    • Makaveli604, on 05/01/2008, -1/+11In college!

      You must be alot of fun.
  • JaredXM, on 05/01/2008, -0/+11A ton of people on my floor drink in their rooms. There's always empty cans in the recycling box. Never really a problem. Unfortunately our floor RA (lived on our floor, responsible for our floor) was a little too cool. Apparently he got busted drunk or something and he is no longer our RA.
    • EdgarVerona, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Aye, most RAs really don't want to bust people for anything. They have as much to fear of the draconian rules that most Residence Halls enforce as residents do.
  • ygarrard, on 05/01/2008, -8/+1I just queefed.
  • greenblob, on 05/01/2008, -1/+29"Numerous scientific studies have shown that if you haven't had your first beer by the age of 14, you are subjected to relentless taunting by your peers. If you haven't had your first serious case of alcohol poisoning by the age of 17, you will be rejected and shunned as a social outcast."

    This explains everything.
    • DeathJux, on 05/01/2008, -0/+13Are you doubting science?? It's SCIENCE!
    • MillionsLivio, on 05/01/2008, -0/+4Apparently I'm a social outcast then, and I'm on Digg -- ohhhh...
    • santaliqueur, on 05/01/2008, -1/+2Funny, I hadn't had my first beer until I was 22. I don't remember ANY taunting, nevermind relentless.
    • Balks, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1Wow... you seem to be talking out of your ass and must be a cheap drunk. I'm from wisconsin, a state known for alcohol, and even we aren't THAT bad. Yeah it happens, but that is a pretty big assumption on your part that it's a social crime to not be *****-faced drunk before you're 17. It's been my experiance that people actually respect people who choose NOT to drink before they turn 21. Don't start spewing random crap (then again this is digg so what ever) about the facts of alcohol/alcoholism. Damned city kids thinkin just because they have a digg account and have had a beer or two in their life they can pretend they know everything about drinking...
  • ramises, on 05/01/2008, -3/+7Or just go to college in Canada, where you're allowed to drink in the dorms...
    • AngeloM3, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1Who wants to live in Canada where the favorite past time is Moose Tipping.
      • mxmj, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Moose are actually very dangerous and HUGE if someone could tip a moose I would be thoroughly impressed.
  • swazo, on 05/01/2008, -1/+4Yeah, i just got out of residence in Canada. I was doing shots with my don; pretty much everyone on our floor drank even if we were 18.
    • schwab002, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1yeah I've seen 'RAs' at McGill help get kids drunk. One helped a 17 year old girl on the floor find an ID to borrow so that she could fully participate frosh week, which often involved heavy drinking in the center of campus and pub crawls.

      I've seen this kind of stuff in the US too, but its just much rarer, and most of the time people have to sneak around until they're 21 or move off campus.
      • swazo, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Yea McGill and Western are pretty sick but nothing beats a Laurier party :P
  • Makaveli604, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2They allow underage drinking in my University residence.
    They do not, however, allow communal sources, drinking games, or open alcohol in the hallways (just in rooms and lounges).

    Oh, a better guide would be how to smoke weed in res. We ended up going off campus or in a nearby forest which is a major hassle..
    • spammishking, on 05/01/2008, -0/+8dryer sheets in paper towl tube...blow out window....spray fabreeze or something
    • jcm267, on 05/01/2008, -0/+4Smoking weed inside isn't worth it, especially if your roommate doesn't like the idea. The pot smoking douches who did all the tricks like turn the private showers on and blow into the vent, or blow out the window, didn't fool anyone.

      Just go outside and smoke (I did it and my school was in the middle of a city). And if smoking pot is really that important to you, then live off campus.
      • Makaveli604, on 05/02/2008, -0/+1I didn't have a roommate, and even if I did, I smoked primarily in other peoples rooms once we got a vape.
    • KMye, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Smoking at school is much easier than drinking, because people don't generally get loud and stupid on weed alone.

      Digg can build a pot guide right here:

      1. 30% clove spliffs packed into clove filters are amazing. You can smoke them right in people's faces and the only people who figure out what's going on aren't people who are going to call you on it.

      2. Larger glass and plastic pieces fit very nicely into tennis racket cases. The bulbs look look like you've stuck a tennis ball or two in there.

      3. A towel under the door worked for 99.5% of my freshman year, with outrageously blatant smoking, but with a complicit RA and generally tolerant neighbors. That 0.5% (last week of school) can be good enough to ***** you out of your admission and scholarships, though. Not recommended for consistent use.
    • EdgarVerona, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Whatever you do, if you're going to tape the seams of your door shut before you do it to prevent the smell from getting into the hall, you're going to need two things:

      1) Make damn sure that the RA on your floor is cool. He's going to know that you're doing it, whether you think he knows or not... speaking as an RA, it's pretty obvious when someone's taped their door sealed. However, most RAs really don't care as long as they don't get busted for letting you do it.
      2) Make damn sure it's sealed tight. If a Resident Director or the RA not on your floor (You made sure your RA wasn't going to care first, right?) smells a whiff of it, you've got trouble coming.
      3) Have a way to hide direct evidence. Remember that most Residence Halls these days won't even handle marijuana internally. Every hall I've ever worked for had a strict "radio the police and let them handle it" policy... which is lame and stupid, but unavoidable. Once they've said "report to the police for X", if they hear that X is in an internal report and you didn't let the police handle it you're out of a job. So understand that if you get caught the police may be called, and you're going to need to be able to hide the evidence quick or else you could be charged with a crime. Dumb, I know, but true.
    • mxmj, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Last year i lived in a suite at a uni. At nearly all times of the day at least one of us was smoking (cigarettes, hooka, *other*) we got some weather-stripping and a squeegee type thing for the bottom of the door and sealed it off. We used tape, cardboard (a pizza box i think) and a fan to make an exhaust vent out of the window and put another fan in the vent facing into the room to keep the smoke from blowing into other rooms. We never got caught. We also threw semi legit parties (20ish people) we just kept the suite door locked at all times and partied in our rooms. It helped that we had the corner suite on the third floor right next to the stairwell though.
  • UIChicago, on 05/01/2008, -2/+3OR you could just walk in with a PBR, stick a knife in the side of it and chug it in the RA's face.
    • EdgarVerona, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Yeah, you're so cool. You also won't be getting your deposit back when they tell you to pack your bags.
  • Mahogany419, on 05/01/2008, -7/+4Step 1. Be 21 or you can't buy beer for that hot girl anyway and get laid.
  • digjam, on 05/01/2008, -8/+1BURIED..! Its LONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!
  • LukeBeaumont, on 05/01/2008, -1/+4Or you could go to an Australian university and legally drink at 18.
  • semeticstallion, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Ahh, the good old days.

    - Another super easy way to sneak in anything is putting it in a laundry bag. Stuff enough clothes between the bottles and you can pretty much sneak in as much as you can carry without making a sound (just make sure you can't see it from the outside obviously).

    - Also, if you're going to drink any night of the week in the dorms let it be Sunday. Pretty much everyone is trying to get work done on Sunday nights with their doors shut which makes you look less suspicious. Plus most RAs don't associate drinking with Sunday -- they're more on the lookout between Wed-Sat.

    - But the best bet (and safest) is just to meet some older students who have an apartment off campus that you can always go to have a beer with and DEFINITELY pay for the stuff (or at least 1/2) yourself. Not even the most condescending of-age student is going to complain about an underage kid who's paying for them to drink as well. You'll make plenty of friends this way as well.
  • whatthefu, on 05/01/2008, -2/+2When they lower the drinking age, this list will be irrelevant! It's not going to happen anytime soon though :(
  • spineaches, on 05/01/2008, -3/+2what a poorly written blog.
  • lpxxfaintxx2, on 05/01/2008, -1/+3Vodka + Gatoraide + Gatoraide bottle = foolproof. Tastes good too.
  • shellnet, on 05/01/2008, -3/+1spammisking, you say you are a former RA, but it sounds like you just can't let go (speaks in present tense)
    • spammishking, on 05/01/2008, -0/+7It's called a reply button dingleberry
  • downwiththeking, on 05/01/2008, -1/+24IM DRUNK RIGHT NOW YEAH WOOOOOOO
    • kutateli, on 05/01/2008, -0/+4teach me to be cool like you!
      • Ocelot13, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1well lets start with the birds and the bees....

        you see, when a man and a woman really love each other.....
  • gregish, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3seriously did anyone learn anything from this
    • MillionsLivio, on 05/01/2008, -1/+7No this is Digg, nobody reads the articles, we just complain about them and argue with each other on the topic.
    • DucoNihilum, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Seems like common sense for the most part to me.
  • 7levels, on 05/01/2008, -1/+4What about the guide to getting absolutely blazed?
    • kokoshka, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Window fan.
    • AngeloM3, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Oh thats easy....
      1-Towel under the door OR a little trick I learned... you can tape a piece of toilet paper just above the crack on the bottom of the door... then you can tell if the draft is coming into your room or blowing out. So the smell doesnt get into the hall
      2-Tube with dryer sheets stuffed in it
      3-Window fan
      4-Nag Champa insense
    • mxmj, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1I'm asuming you dont just mean the occasional bowl. Its not too hard you just need to pull some McGyveresqe stoner *****.
      Last year i lived in a suite at a uni. At nearly all times of the day at least one of us was smoking (cigarettes, hooka, blunts, bowls, etc we even had a Volcano for a while), 3 rooms down from the RA, and we never got caught.
      1 we got some weather-stripping to seal the cracks at the top and sides of the door
      2 we got a squeegee type draft blocking thing for the bottom of the door and sealed it off.
      3 We used tape, cardboard (a pizza box i think) and a fan to make an exhaust vent out of the window which was always going
      4 We put another fan in the air-vent, facing into the room, to keep the smoke from blowing through the air vent into other rooms.
      5 Never burn incense, its a dead giveaway and probably not *allowed* either. Use Fabreeze.
      6 Keep your suite door and personal room doors closed and locked all the time so that it never looks odd that your door is shut.
      The tube thing sort of works but not fool-proof as you still get the smoke coming off of the smoking device and as you get high you start forgetting to use it. You also need to replace the sheets fairly often.
      We also threw smallish parties (up to like 15 people) we just kept the suite door locked at all times and partied in our rooms. Make sure you take out the trash at night or in dark bags. It helped that we had the corner suite on the third floor right next to the stairwell though. If you have loser roomates or suitemates though, none of this will help, you will get ratted on.
  • akirakurosawa, on 05/01/2008, -6/+2why Drinking Too Much May Be Bad For You

    http://digg.com/comedy/Why_Drinking_Too_Much_is_Ba ...
  • twermund, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Man, you have to love the perfect irony that is the fact that this blog with avoiding getting caught by RAs gets to the front page to link to an all ready Dugg down site.
  • skeletorcares, on 05/01/2008, -0/+5my well earned drinking tip from college: close the door.

    when the RA waddles up, and finds you *****-faced, shirt-less, and with bottles everywhere, screaming at the dreamcast with the door open at 1am with the music blasting, usually they are gonna write you up. Just a tip.
    • EdgarVerona, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3Amen. Nine times out of ten, that's all you need to do. Close the door, and no one's going to bug you... unless you're making so much noise that someone complains... or unless you're making so much noise that someone less apt to give you a break (such as a hall director) might hear it. Like I've been saying elsewhere in here, the main rule of thumb is that most RAs will let you do what you want unless it means their ass. Once you make them choose between them getting busted or you, they'll always (as most people would) choose you instead. That's common sense.
      • skeletorcares, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1On a side note, i talked my way out of the write-up when I went to the hall supervisor. And Dreamcast, way to date myself.
    • AngeloM3, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Dreamcast? Who brings a Dreamcast to college anymore?
  • Krovvy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1All the RA's I know and heard of help with the drinking, marijuana growing, and distribution of drugs.
    • infekt, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2Agreed. IIRC, the party was usually in the RA's room...
  • cnot3, on 05/01/2008, -0/+6Drinking at college and getting away with it isn't a ***** science. Just drink if you want, you pansy.
  • BigCheezy, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Open door policy ftw, anyone? Or am I just really lucky?
  • qpPeteyqp, on 05/01/2008, -0/+4or just change your name to mclovin.
  • scairborn, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Step one, be of age and don't give a ***** about other under age.
  • DucoNihilum, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1There's a few problems here.

    EG
    3. Hide alcohol - Firstly, /most/ people, AFAIK, would never open the door hoping not to be caught with open alcohol. AFAIK the general policy is to hide the alcohol, and then open the door. They have no authority to search the room unless they see alcohol, however, if there's probable cause they'll legally search you.

    4. If you cover your peephole, how will you let people into your room? You know, those other people drinking? The peephole is necessary to see if there are RA's at the door or regular people.
  • TripcodeMel, on 05/01/2008, -6/+0The only way you can have a good time is with alcohol, right? What a bunch of ***** losers you guys are.
  • jcm267, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3How to drink in your dorms at a dry campus by jcm267.

    1) If you are underaged, find someone to buy alcohol for you.
    2) Give this person $600 to buy 30 handles of quality Skyy and Smirnoff vodka (amazing the price inflation in just a few short years)
    3) Bring this alcohol into the dorm on move-in day stored in rubbermaid bins. If you have a suspended ceiling, store it all up there. Don't tell people where you get your liquor from. Those who aren't idiots will figure it out anyways, but you still don't need to tell people.
    4) Get a blender, cranberry juice, KoolAid, drink mixers, ice cube trays, etc
    5) When you need more, bring bottles of alcohol purchased from ripoff liquor store that sells to minors into the dorm by just putting it into your backpack and going in during school hours (heavily trafficked, no suspicion, probably no bag checks). If there are bag checks, just don't go inside the dorms.
    6) Get more rubbermaid bins full of vodka during post-break move in periods after Thanksgiving, New Year's, and Spring Break

    This ***** really isn't hard. Besides, you can usually at least just go out to whatever establishments serve to underaged and I'm sure your college won't care.
    • saladdays, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1god, college must suck
    • mattlohkamp, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Yeah, it would if you could only live in dorms and the only booze you were allowed to drink was vodka from rubbermaid bins... or you could just, you know, not try to have parties in your patheticly small on-campus housing, and find a venue elsewhere...
      • jcm267, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Who said that I tried to throw parties in my dorm room?
  • uahgekido, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2True story: during freshmen orientation at my school, parents had to go through a similar orientation process. One of the first things they were warned is that we' d probably be around people who were legally allowed to have alcohol, and their was nothing the parents or the school could/would do about it. We'd have to be "responsible young adults".

    This idea was instilled further when our RA came in for the mandatory room inspections and merely commented that we "must drink a lot" when he saw our furniture made from beer cans. Beer was, after all, the only reason we passed Calculus 2 and 3.
    • jcm267, on 05/01/2008, -0/+7True story (related to the post directly above yours):

      The first weekend of my third year in college I woke up to my roommate sweeping water into the (private) bathroom. He told me that he had gone into the shower to wake himself up, and wound up passing out on the shower drain. The kids in the room directly below us hadn't moved in yet, so no one complained about the torrents of water dripping in. The room under that, and the rooms on our floor neighboring ours did find it odd to see water seeping in from under the door or (in the case of the room two floors below) through the ceiling. Someone obviously called the front desk to complain.

      I was blacked out and don't remember this, but an RA came to our room and knocked on my door and I (passed out) got up (luckily wearing my boxers) and walked through water that was up to my ankles to let him in. He said "Where's (your roommate)" and I grumpily said "in there. He's taking a shower" then went back to bed. The RA was nervous that he was dead or something, and called security. Before security arrived, the RA was kind enough to take the handle of vodka that was sitting in plain sight and put it in a bin under my bed. Security and the RA got into the bathroom and they found the roommate in the shower passed out. After they woke him up he put some clothes on, and then kept saying "I'm sorry" and "I'm an idiot" over and over as he (on his own accord) started sweeping the water towards the drain.

      Some time passed and I woke up (out of the blackout) to the RA and the roommate. As soon as I realized what happened I lost my buzz. After we banter about how ridiculous this all was my roommate decided to go apologize to the girls next door. They had towels all along the floor to block the water and some was still getting through. The girls were Freshmen and thought that since this was their first weekend in college and they already had a story, they couldn't be mad at him. They asked him "what the hell happened" and he raised his hands up in the air and said "I don't know!". When he did this his pants fell down... apparently he never put a belt on. And he wasn't wearing boxers either. When that happened I (from the other room over) heard hysterical laughter and then soon saw my roommate slowly walk back into our room with the broom.

      The only emotion stronger than his embarrassment at the time was probably the pride in knowing that he'd always have a drinking story that most people wouldn't be able to come close to matching.
      • mxmj, on 05/02/2008, -0/+1I've got a fairly decent story.
        My suite mates and I lived on the third floor freshman year We drank and smoked a lot. Around Halloween our school put up these anti-binge drinking displays on the quad and around the dorms. They consisted of an actual toilet and a 'puking scarecrow' with his/her head in the toilet.
        We decided we absolutely had to steal one. We got super high around 11pm or so and figured it was as good a time as any. My roommate and I walk out in front of the cafeteria to 'smoke a cig' and make sure there isn't anyone around or at the desk at the doors of the dorm. The coast seems to be clear so we make our move. He grabs the toilet and I snag the dummy and open the doors we made it past the RA's desk (he wasn't there), up 2 flights of stairs, down 3 hallways, and back into our room and immediately fall down laughing. After a few minutes my buddy decides he want the jeans the dummy was wearing so he starts to put them on (remember we are really high). When he has them about halfway up he realizes that they are tiny girl-jeans and laughing ensues. At that exact moment our RA walks in. We had forgotten to lock the door behind us.
        There is a toilet in the doorway, my roommate has girls jeans at his knees, beer cans are everywhere, the stuffing from the dummy is all over the floor, a sack of weed and a pipe on the desk, and a nasty ziploc-bag covering the smoke-detector. We are -obviously- ***** up.
        In his thick Malaysian accent he says, "We've been getting some reports of some smells on this floor, You guys don't know anything about that, do you? It smells like a skunk." We're all like Nah, thats not us (barely holding in laughter) and he says "You need to clean your room, and if your going to do anything do it off-campus . . . And get rid of that toilet." He walks out and never mentions it again. We crack up for about the next ten minutes.
        We took the toilet out to where we usually smoked cigarettes and used it as an ashtray for the next few months until it finally disappeared.
    • jcm267, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Meh. Correction. He actually said "I'm an idiot!" before his pants fell down.
      • mxmj, on 05/02/2008, -0/+1That line works sooooooooo much better.
  • ladysman217, on 05/01/2008, -2/+0*fap fap fap*
    • skcoder, on 05/02/2008, -0/+0Best comment of the thread right here.
  • Deadman, on 05/01/2008, -1/+1don't throw away your cans and bottles!! recycle them, ***** it if the RA says something
  • insanemike, on 05/01/2008, -0/+3Lot's of college-related stuff being posted tonight. Everyone's procrastinating for finals.
  • awesometastic1, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2turn 21??
  • dexedrine, on 05/01/2008, -0/+2I miss college......sigh
    • skcoder, on 05/02/2008, -0/+0College doesn't miss you, you freeloading 2.5 GPA slacker.
  • tulanian, on 05/01/2008, -0/+0Transfer to Tulane.
  • ibzz, on 05/01/2008, -2/+0235 diggs and the site died.buried!
  • TroHax, on 05/01/2008, -0/+1Site's dead. Buried.
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