103 Comments
- inactive, on 07/15/2008, -2/+93Tip #1: Be Chuck Liddell
- Nick2008, on 07/16/2008, -0/+29I like Bas Rutten's tips: http://youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y
- Egress99, on 07/16/2008, -2/+28Tip #17: Whip out your jake and piss on him whilst singing the theme song to Charles in Charge.
- inactive, on 07/16/2008, -0/+26I run a club in London's West End and my advice would be:
1. Find a doorman, it's their job to calm stuff down, they're trained in situation management, and they're sobber.
2. Remember that just coz you've had a few pints...it don't make you ***** He Man
3. Doesn't matter how hard you think you are, there is always somebody harder that you are ( and it's not always apparent who that is )
4. Be very wary of little people, there more trouble than the big uns, and far more lethal.
5. Don't argue with door staff.. ever.
6. Try and think before you act.
7. If anyone ever threatens you with a bottle of champagne...run like *****, because champagne bottle are designed not to break and a fight between your head and a champagne bottle will end your life. Period. Believe me, I've seen it happen.
8. After working for ten years in venues, I have more respect for the guy that has the balls to walk away, so make sure that's you. - timethief, on 10/30/2008, -2/+28Think first - then walk away.
- gfxgeek, on 11/13/2008, -0/+26Tip # 1 Put the whole list on one page so you dont get annoyed having to click for every tip
- adjustafresh, on 07/16/2008, -0/+20Tip #44 - separate content onto as many pages as possible to boost click-throughs and ad impressions... oh wait - wrong article... that's "Douchey McSpammy's Tips on How to Build a ***** Website".
- buffalowolf, on 07/16/2008, -1/+17Tip #2 Be chuck Lidell
or be a russian
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceq9K6k0EEA - DaviDTC, on 07/16/2008, -2/+17Tip #4: Hope Rampage is still locked up.
- Tomboys, on 07/15/2008, -2/+17Finally something useful on digg.
- InfamousAtheist, on 07/16/2008, -0/+13I couldn't agree more... if the opportunity presents itself, GTFO.
I've seen some really serious injuries happen during bar fights. One guy I saw went down after the first punch, and probably took 12 or 15 more shots to the head before it got broken up. He was twitching.
Yes, the memory is disturbing. - inactive, on 07/15/2008, -1/+12Tip #2: See tip #1
- inactive, on 07/16/2008, -2/+12Make sure you have a weapon and run like mad out the door, because the ***** usually carries a gun.
- CaseyB, on 07/16/2008, -0/+9Buried for worst content to ad ratio EVER. 10 pages, each with 30 words of text in a tiny box surrounded by utter crap.
- Spire3660, on 07/16/2008, -1/+10Ive been a bartender, a bouncer and a bachelor party entertainment bodyguard. Ive walked away from so many fights its not even funny. I hate fighting, it retarded and can get mortal amazingly fast. Chuck's right, avoid bar fighting at all costs, cause you may just run into a person like me who has no compunction about gouging your eye out if you attack me. I consider all fights a mortal threat and act accordingly. There is no such thing as a fair fight.
- screamingjoker, on 07/16/2008, -0/+9there was a guy at my college who threw a punch in a bar, the intended recipient ducked and the puncher hit a girl in the side of her face breaking the bones around her eye socket. Since she was obviously doing nothing wrong, and received a wallop for no reason, the guy got 10 years! for Assault. I think he did 5 with 5 probie. Rule number 1 should be: Take it Outside, if you involve innocents you will be charged as an assailant.
- louiebaur, on 07/15/2008, -3/+12yea you pretty much have to be chuck to pull these tips off. Chuck is bad ass!
- hollywoodphony, on 07/15/2008, -9/+18I'm not sure how sincere the "don't get into a bar fight" advice is. It seems like he's more interested in protecting his ass from the inevitable lawsuits he'll be served with by the families of all the diggers who decided to take his advice and be toughguys and are now on respirators in the "legally braindead" ward.
- blogosphear, on 07/16/2008, -0/+9YOU SAY THAT ABOUT MY WIFE?
IM SORRY SIR BUT NOW IM GONNA HAVE TO BREAK YOUR LEG - Spire3660, on 07/16/2008, -0/+89 times out of 10 you can walk out of a bar fight easily. Its the morons who let themselves get butthurt by their opponents words that usually is the catalyst for a fight. Pride is expensive and often fatal. Nothing 'honorable' about being killed or disfigured over some petty words. Its also important to remember that if you are backed into a corner with no reasonable escape, and are in fear of your mortal life, murder by self defense becomes an option very quickly. Just remember that door swings both ways.
- Pricebreak, on 07/16/2008, -0/+6Don't forget to drink plenty of beer to numb the pain of getting hit, then duck and cover because you will be too drunk to actually get any good shots in.
- angrycat, on 07/16/2008, -0/+6Just whip your dick out and start furiously masturbating.
- ngmcs8203, on 07/16/2008, -0/+6This still my all time favorite one...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXix0ygCVk0 - Coffeedemon, on 07/16/2008, -0/+6da danga dang dang
- pauleric, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5I can't decide: digg you down because you're disgusting, or digg up because I can't stop laughing? And what does that say about me?
- Wakkyweed, on 07/16/2008, -1/+6Funny, he didn't list the "nutshot" anywhere in there! It's #1 on my list.
- BOFH2, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5tips for going to the bar:
1. If you do not have enough money to pay for the cover and get as drunk as you want - Go home
2. If you are pissed off - Stay home
3. If one of your friends is pissed off - take him home
4. If someone is talking crap - get a bouncer and indicate that you would like it if the other guy left - most people will shut up if they are approached and asked to settle down. If they don't, let the bounce and his friends take care of it.
5. Be a frickin human being, be courteous.
6. If your wife or gf is showing a lot of skin people will stare - not saying it is right - but I can tell you fighting everyone because of that is ridiculous. - Negligence, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5I dodged that ***** like the matrix
- nublet, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5or you can be like bas rutten: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3K-mrlYG7Y
- axisdelasal, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5BAM BAM BAM!
- ProfessorLX, on 07/16/2008, -2/+7tip # 50 dont be rampage, cops will get ya
- jecahn, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5It's Nico Bellic!
- Walcherina, on 07/16/2008, -0/+5"Looky looky what we got here."
- Sol1, on 07/16/2008, -0/+4Absolutely, even when you're trying to just defend yourself things can go horribly wrong.
I was at a pool hall a few years back. Some drunk douchebag stumbled out and jumped in his truck, peeling out in reverse and almost hit a guy. The pedestrian played it pretty cool, but did say something to the effect of "Hey dude, watch the ***** out, you almost ran me over!" This set the driver off who got out of his car and started running his mouth. Really long story short, the kid walked away into the bar, but the driver hadn't had enough and followed him. Kid left the bar and was walking up the sidewalk saying he didn't want trouble. Driver grabbed him. Kid spun around and punched him once in the jaw.
Driver: 40ish, 6' 2", 220 lbs
Kid: 21 or 22, 5' 9", 150 lbs soaking wet
The kid knocked him out on his feet. The older guy's muscles seized and he fell and cracked his head on the pavement, blood coming out of his ears, and died 2 days later.
While eventually cleared, the kid spent time in jail until they hashed out the details, let alone the fact that he has to live the rest of his life knowing that, albeit it was in self defense, another man's family no longer has him around. - Skyhoper, on 07/16/2008, -0/+4Tip #2: Don't fight Chuck Liddell
- briLo, on 07/16/2008, -0/+4Best advice ever on number two:
""I have friends who still say, "Hey, that guy's looking at me funny." So? I got a Mohawk and a tattoo on the side of my head. Yeah, they're looking at me funny. It's OK. That's alright. There's no reason to fight them over it."" - inactive, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3No.. It was a girl.
I'm telling you man champagne bottle are ***** lethal, especially magnums because of the weight. They DO NOT BREAK!
FTR anything loose in a club is a weapon in a fight situation... anything. - jezsik, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3Steriod abusing bruisers have a, um, small target. The throat shot is more effective. I'm surprised he didn't mention anything about using your elbows rather than your fists.
- Greengoo, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3Best one is "punch the throat". Couldn't agree more. Nothing takes the fight out of you like not being able to breathe.
- PFinn, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3i love chuck liddell, but honestly those tips sucked... i realize he is probably trying to avoid lawsuits and that he really doesnt want to urge people to fight, but why would you title an article "Chuck Liddell's bar-fighting tips" if the only specific fighting related tips he gives are hit the guy in the throat and stand against a wall..... what does 'you gotta have the right timing and hit the guy in the right spot for a knockout punch' even mean?
- InfamousAtheist, on 07/16/2008, -2/+5My philosophy (for the non-MMA fighter): Arm yourself. Bottles might be bad, as Chuck says in the article... but chairs work nicely.
- Risingashes, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3Meh, likely better off without him.
- sculptedguns, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3Take your advice, and now you 2 armed *****. Awesome.
- Coffeedemon, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3Yeah and when the bouncers break it up and see you initiated things by sucker punching someone theres a good chance that they're going out the front and you're going out the back with the staff... and maybe into traction later that evening.
- acontorer, on 07/16/2008, -0/+3The problem with tips like these is if they convince you that you know something. Consider that you may be confronting someone who has trained hundreds of hours in a boxing ring or martial arts school or military boot camp. Assume that the person you are facing may be a MUCH better fighter than you. Avoid the fight.
Also, even if you win a fight, you likely end up hurt, you disrupt everyone's evening, and you could end up arrested. Avoid the fight. - inactive, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2Tough is when your 10 yrs behind bars for manslaughter cos of a stupid idea mate.
- ahhell, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2Good job *****. That is called assault. The other guy needs to instigate then you can defend yourself.
- alexforcefive, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2Chuck stole the liver punch thing from bas anyway
- Merendino, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2@ #7.... very ***** true.
- mjsteinbaugh, on 07/16/2008, -0/+2Agreed. I hate visiting sites set up like this.
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