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Catcalling -- Creepy or a Compliment?

cnn.com — "For me, anyone who interrupts my personal space to objectify me or make me feel uncomfortable or threatened is harassing me," says Holly. But Jessica says: "Yeah, it's objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn't have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I'd think, 'Boy I must really be getting old and dumpy'".

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  • sakuranyc, on 05/15/2008, -8/+15Thank you, CNN.
    • Devilboy666, on 05/15/2008, -6/+11Y halo thar!

      http://digg.com/users/sakuranyc
      • Square47, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4I gotta admit....that made me laugh.
    • HeDiggMe, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2HELLOOOOOOOOOO KEISHA.....HEY BABY why don't you come shake that jelly over this way
    • kernel16, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1HAI THAR SWEET CHEEKS!!!

      Is digg going to be on HollaBackNYC.blogspot.com now?
    • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1I can't say I haven't cat called.... I'm just going to say I haven't done it on Digg... Recently
  • neems25, on 05/15/2008, -18/+49"Yeah, it's objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn't have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I'd think, 'Boy I must really be getting old and dumpy'".

    ....Slut
    • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -12/+6This constant double standard is why the number of sex offenders is increasing rather than decreasing.

      It's just observational hypothesis, but I'll argue it over a beer. Preferably, at a bar with a window so we can watch tight top, breast enhanced, mini-skirt thong wearing NICE BY DEFAULT women walking by.
    • Charun, on 05/15/2008, -1/+17So when her looks go she will lose all self worth.
      • joe122370, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2duh
      • MWeather, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1Self worth? I don't think she's going to be worth much to anyone once her looks go.
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4No, she'll just stop considering herself physically attractive, which is a natural occurrence. Our species has a period of greatest and most effective fertility; once we go passed that point, our natural psychological desire decreases to match. Not that crazy.
  • spiggot123, on 05/15/2008, -10/+3HAHAHA!!! funny! good post, dude...
  • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -7/+30I vote for Creepy.
    • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -4/+14Considering most of the cat-calls are made to impress the people of those around the one making them, yeah, it's pretty damn creepy.

      And if done in a one-on-one situation? Even creepier.
    • swimmin00, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2I vote for creepy... but in a good way!
    • fefu, on 05/15/2008, -5/+9Yes, creepy. It's not a compliment - especially when you're not even trying to get noticed. I look like a frumpy librarian most of the time and still get annoying guys getting all up in my face. I mean, get the ***** away from me! I'm walking to get somewhere, and I'm not going to smile for you! I don't have to smile at you! Mind your own ***** business and get the ***** away from me, you creep!

      Ok, I feel better now...
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4You're right, let's all deny our base animal tendencies! Let's pretend we're not just animals here to procreate. That'll make everything better.
      • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Honestly... As a guy... I get why some men don't get it. I mean, if I was walking down the street and a couple of girls were standing off the side of the road and said something along the lines of "hey baby, why don't you come over here and shake that ass" I wouldn't... But that would make me smile inside.
    • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4The thing i don't think that guys get about cat calling is that women are trained by their parents, society, etc. to see men that they do not know as a potential threat. And when just simply walking around a random stranger makes a point of calling attention to you, and pointing you out of the crowd it can create a situation where the woman may not feel safe because she's been singled out of the crowd. So the natural instinct is to go on the defensive wether it's saying something rude back, or ignoring it and walking away. And I think that guys just don't understand that because they aren't taught to view women they don't know as a threat.
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1This is the first logical argument against cat-calling I've read here so far.
  • unrealJEDI, on 05/15/2008, -14/+41Wear loose sweats and a hat = end of cat calls

    Getting cat calls by men is a jackass move, but it's also stupid that women don't expect men to at least stare when wearing revealing clothes
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -8/+17Women wanna wear shirts with phrases on them so they can accuse you of looking at their *****.
    • MicheleFloyd, on 05/15/2008, -6/+18So it's loose sweats and hats or "revealing clothes"? Why must it be two extremes?? We need to get rid of this mentality that a woman is either a slut or a prude. Besides, women dress for other women, not for strange men on the street.
      • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -4/+7I WEAR MAKE-UP FOR ME LOLZ
      • burketo, on 05/15/2008, -5/+11"women dress for other women"

        giggidy giggidy!
      • Largent, on 05/15/2008, -7/+4Your sir are an idiot. While I agree that there should be a balance if you think that women are out there dressed like whores for a reason other than getting attention you have obviously never met a woman.

        Then again some of the most attractive women I know don't feel the need to dress slutty, and probably still get called at, much more respectable imo
      • thetinguy, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Holla Back NYC empowers New Yorkers to Holla Back at street harassers. Whether you're commuting, lunching, partying, dancing, walking, chilling, drinking, or sunning, you have the right to feel safe, confident, and sexy, without being the object of some turd's fantasy.

        What's the point of being sexy if you aren't trying to be someone's fantasy???
        • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1buried for "holla back".
        • zeabu, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1What's the need to "feel sexy"? I can't see the difference between the need to "feel sexy" and the need for attention.
          Above that, there are a lot of girls that don't know the difference between sexy and slutty. Wearing a short that's smaller than my belt, com'on, have some dignity.
    • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -0/+12Oh if that only worked...
      It doesn't, btw. Honestly it generally doesn't matter what you're wearing. While wearing something extremely revealing might make it happen more often, it will happen with fair regularity even if you're modestly dressed.
    • WallyAnti, on 05/15/2008, -8/+5I often wonder why a woman is blameless for objectifying herself by putting so much emphasis on the objects of the catcaller's affection. I think it's a game insecure women play to get more attention. I play the game because, hey, whether I win or loose I still get to see *****.
      • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4I like how people are just digging you down instead of showing you that you're wrong. They can't. Women go entirely out of their way to be seen and say "What the hell are you looking at?!" and you're an "evil oppressive man" if you call them on it.
        • WallyAnti, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1Thanks, I too believe it's just a knee jerk response. If women would dress in a way that's more comfortable they wouldn't have to worry about all this crap. They are, however, human and are compelled to act in kind with societal standards, which state that they should accentuate certain features. They should break from the herd if happiness is their true aim. ***** I get stared at and called names but it's for being eccentric. I have little sympathy for people who suffer this treatment because they are just too pretty.

          If you really want to be equal in society I'm afraid you gals will have to grow some thicker skin. Equality means no special treatment.
    • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -3/+8I wish that worked, but unfortunately, the truth is that no matter what you wear, they'll catcall at you. It's not like they'll only whistle at the scantily dressed women. They'll whistle at anyone.
      • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -4/+1And you'll likely acknowledge it like the average weak-willed woman. If you ignore it then it loses its luster. Women often say "I shouldn't have to!" to ignoring it. Enjoy acting in principality and being displeased as a result.
    • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -1/+11I wish I could go to work in sweats but it doesn't work that way. I normally wear slacks and a button up shirt to work, and for lunch I've walked a couple of blocks a way to subway and had to deal with guys being rude with the cat calls and even pulling over and expecting me to get in their car. And I thought I was dressed like a librarian and not a street walker. You can put women in anything and men will feel the need to make jack asses of themselves.
    • haleym, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6No it doesn't - FTA:
      She's gotten catcalls just walking her parents' dog in baggy sweats. "I thought it was hysterical, like, 'Boy, doesn't take much to impress you, does it?' "
  • inbuninbu, on 05/15/2008, -3/+66Personally, I think catcalling is about as crude as you can get, but part of where the negative reaction comes from is a rather conflicted and confused part of our culture.

    Men are expected to make advances towards women, but are made to feel uncomfortable doing so. If it is welcome, all is fine and dandy, but when it isn't, you suddenly become a pig.

    Not surprising that some women feel conflicted about how to feel about catcalling. Even if it makes them feel good about themselves, it isn't politically correct for them to.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -4/+23You can compliment a woman's appearance without being lewd.
      • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -3/+12Not your call.

        Today, it is not what you MEAN that is (or is not) offensive, it is how it is perceived. What you said, how you said it, or how you meant it has absolutely NO bearing on whether or not it is offensive.


        • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -1/+15Big difference between "You're hot!" and "Nice *****!"
          • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -3/+10I agree. But again, in todays society it is the recipient who decides for you whether or not it is offensive. If YOU make a nice compliment, but SHE finds it offensive, then how you meant it has no bearing.
          • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3I'm sorry, but to some women both are offensive. Men are expected to be the one's who make the advances, but you can never know how conservative a woman is... Obviously "Nice *****" won't work on most women, but "You're Hot" can get iffy
        • MiddleOfNowhere, on 05/15/2008, -2/+7Many women will tell you "off the mike" that they are flattered when men show appreciation for their looks - although it should be slightly more subtle than humping her leg ... 8)
          This, however, will not keep said women from ignoring or even complaining about all forms of compliments, whistling etc. You are supposed to express she looks like a goddess, but in return expect to be treated as a Neanderthal thinking with his balls.
      • eryximachus, on 05/15/2008, -6/+8Catcalling is not necessarily lewd. It is a public exclamation of a man's sexual attraction to a woman.

        Honestly, you probably live in a suburban place where people don't catcall. I've lived in Brooklyn my whole life, and I'd say I've only very rarely heard lewd catcalling. The most common type is something like in Looney Toons - whistling.
        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Most other animals have mating calls or rituals of some kind. Humans have just overcomplicated this process.

          All species mate. With lots of partners. It's called survivalism. Get over yourselves; you're just glorified animals.
          • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -1/+6"Man is the only animal that blushes, or needs to." -- Mark Twain
        • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Where I live I don't think its that common, but when I over hear it it's never been much worse than "hey sexy", that usually gets the woman to smile... But that might just be because alot... ALOT of porn stars live around San Fernando CA.
      • mike17032, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Then you arnt doing it right.
    • MiddleOfNowhere, on 05/15/2008, -6/+6The New York filmmaker (age 49) referring to expressions of admiration as "street abuse" and calling her documentary "War Zone", just to be sure everyone gets the message ...
      Holly K., who has earned "a degree in women's studies and public policy" and informs the world that women (probably all of them) "don't like being talked to in this way" ...
      And the gallery of men who may or may not have crossed some imaginary harassment line, so they are presented in an online hall of shame ...
      Well. Wouldn't it be easier if the US simply made the Burqa or at least a veil mandatory for all women under the age of 70? That would also solve some problems with the Middle East. Because, you know - appeasement *can* do wonders.
      /sarcasm
    • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4The biggest thing about cat calling is it reeks of the whole don't talk to strangers thing that we're all taught from preschool. Their are situations where it's acceptable for meeting new people. But catcalls are not a polite form of introduction.
  • Llanowar, on 05/15/2008, -17/+11Women just need to lighten up and take it as a compliment.
    Not like a comment like that harms you. All they do is compliment you (though guys by nature aren't very good at that).
    So take it for what it is and don't make a big deal out of it.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -2/+12Well what if one of the construction workers is gay and as you're passing he shouts "sure would love to ***** that!", are you going to take that as a compliment?
      • GhostCow, on 05/15/2008, -1/+15Yes. Yes I would. And I'm a straight male.
        • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4I suppose it depends on the tone people use. It seems like most catcalls are made with the intention of being offensive and humoring their friends.
      • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -0/+6Sure. Just yell back at his buddies, "He's in construction so he watch you guys bend over all day," and let them take of the problem for me.
        • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4They'll joke about that all the way to the shower.
      • Llanowar, on 05/15/2008, -1/+9Yes I would take that as a compliment. I do so all the time.
        I'm quite feminine looking, so I'm pretty popular with the gays and get lewd comments thrown at me all the time.
        • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Considering your name is Dwight.......

          (dunno, it's hard to pick on people who won't even leave a name or gender)
      • burketo, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4the only reason i wouldn't take that as a compliment is because - politically incorrect as this may seem - i would think: "am i giving off gay vibes?" . if a woman told me i had a "nice ass" or something i would probably buy her a drink!
    • tomtom13, on 05/15/2008, -5/+2I'd beat him with a hammer
  • ladon86, on 05/15/2008, -12/+7Hey sugar!!! Why the sour face?!
  • alienunknown, on 05/15/2008, -11/+50It is creepy. I was walking down the street once and a girl was walking in front of me and some construction workers starting whistling at her and screaming out "show us your *****", and she told them that she was only 13 and they were sick ***** but they wouldn't stop. It was disgusting and she ran away crying. I told them to ***** off. She was also wearing long pants and a sweater so the whole "she was asking for it" ***** argument isn't at all valid (not that it ever is anyway).
    • wilhoitm, on 05/15/2008, -11/+6She must look a very old 13?
      • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -1/+7Where have you been? People are seriously ***** up now. Have you seen how people used to talk about that stephanie girl from lazytown? Besides, girls are more ***** up as well. They do anything they can to look older.
        • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -3/+4"Stupid spoiled whore....video playset....."
        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3Yeah, because older people have never been attracted to younger people before. What a crazy new concept.
          • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1People are being right out there with it now, though. "she's only 11? I'd STILL hit it!". I can't stand that *****.
          • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1You mean, people in this country in this era are being right out there with it now. My point was that this is not a new concept, nor are we anywhere near as open about it as, say, the ancient Greeks.

            Don't get me wrong, I'm not defending pedophilia. I'm merely saying that to be surprised that it is prevalent, and to think this is a recent trend, is naive.
    • LadyDub, on 05/15/2008, -3/+11Yeah, that's definately creepy and sick

      I don't mind the construction workers so much as long as it's from a distance and not vulgar. The moment you are close enough for me to read the "I want to smell your panties" look in your eyes is when it becomes creepy.
      • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -1/+7I have to admit, I find construction workers are generally the least offensive catcallers. They also STFU in a big, big hurry when you tell them that you could have just as easily have designed the building they're building and start spouting off potential code violations. :D
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -4/+2So it's better for guys to make mating calls when they're so far away they can't possibly be effective, but up close in person, when someone could potentially mate, it's disgusting and absurd. Gotcha, makes perfect sense.
      • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Thats fare, I don't think women should be offended as long as the guy doesn't get vulgar. Obviously "show us your *****" isn't a good way to get a womans attentions (excepting Mardi Gras), but saying to a woman that she looks sexy shouldn't get a guy anything worse than ignored (unless he keeps going).

        Women: Any thoughts?
    • tomtom13, on 05/15/2008, -0/+8But alot of that isn't men. Wrong as it it, some people are jsut assholes
    • nydwarf, on 05/16/2008, -0/+2Pics or it didn't happen.
  • Bromskloss, on 05/15/2008, -12/+6Overreacting, are we? And building a career on it.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -4/+3The "sticks and stones" phrase was dropped a long time ago.
      • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -2/+6I think now it goes something like, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words will let me sue your sorry ass into the poor house."
        • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1That's funny and depressing at the same time.
  • gryphon50, on 05/15/2008, -7/+22the funny thing is, the only time it happens is when the guy doing it is with other guys. You will never be catcalled by one individual. It's pretty clear that it is only to impress others.
    • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3That's because half of them go home to jerk off to transvestite porn after work.

      Read 4cfhan, and tell me I'm wrong.

      Oh yeah, wait. I am wrong. Channers don't work. But they still love their transvestite porn.
    • MicheleFloyd, on 05/15/2008, -0/+11Not true. I've received catcalls from individuals on the street PLENTY of times.
    • s0nicfreak, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Individual black guys will do it.
    • MicheleFloyd, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1So true! That's who I thought of first.
  • thesbian12, on 05/15/2008, -10/+22Creepy. End of discussion. There should be no discussion. Creepy.
    • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -4/+11I don't know why there's a discussion either. It's always creepy. No matter what circumstances or where you are or what you're wearing. It's creepy.
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+6There's a discussion because you two are not the only people in the world. Crazy as it is, other people feel differently than you. Holy *****, did I just blow your mind?
        • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Looking over the comments, it would seem that there's a whole lot of people who think it's creepy no matter what. So no, it's not mind blowing that some people will continue to behave this way even though the vast majority dislikes it. Nothing about people surprises me.
          • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2You said nothing about vast majority. You said you don't believe there should be a discussion, and that it's _always_ creepy. I've read over the same set of comments that you have, and found plenty of people that _don't_ find it creepy. Therefor, a discussion is valid, contrary to what you said. My only point was that it's silly to speak for everyone like you felt you could.
          • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2I think it's creepy as well.
    • designerutah, on 05/15/2008, -4/+0It's also a compliment. Always. Yes, sometimes the girl getting the calls isn't dressed particularly hot. That's even more of a compliment. She earned the cat calls without even trying. Point is, it's not an either or discussion really. It may be creepy. Depends on the people involved. The key word is "may". Only if someone is creeped out is it creepy. If the girls likes it, invites it, and gains something from it (I know a few girls like this), and the guys enjoy it, how is that creepy? No one is creeped out. But it is always a compliment of some sort. Cat calls are a sign that someone (maybe even more than one) find you attractive.

      That said, the more lewd the catcall, I would say the more likely it is that someone will be creeped out.
  • MarrowMan, on 05/15/2008, -11/+5I have never done this to a woman, I was always taught to respect women, and besides, I'm good looking, so it's usually the other way around.
    • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -1/+5No, when women do it, it is a COMPLIMENT.
    • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3When women do it, it's even more disgusting. Because they by all rights should know better if they've ever been on the other end of it. This falls under the Chippendales Theory of Behavior.
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Or perhaps they've been on the other end of it, and don't mind a ***** sound someone made. It's so disgusting that humans would want to mate with each other. The horror.
        • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3Right. Because mating with random strangers is obviously the way to go. I mean so long as they're showing their interested, that should be the only thing that matters, right?

          /sarcasm
          • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Showing their interested what? Showing their interested faces? What of theirs were they showing?

            Other animals mate with strangers all the time. Humans mate with strangers all the time. Many (if not most) relationships are based solely on the ability to live together civilly enough to raise children. Most relationships don't accomplish even this, whether the people liked each other in the beginning or not. It is neither better nor worse to mate with strangers. The offspring will either go on to mate or not, which is the ultimate goal of any species, and this often has nothing to do with the quality of the parents' relationship.
        • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4(I really hope this comment goes in the right place..)

          Sorry, it was a typo. It was meant to be "interest". Anyway, though there is no doubt that it happens, but I think it is less common than you do. You keep looking at this through a lens of simple biological function, which ignores cultural and other realities. This makes me laugh since usually I'm the one doing that.

          However I will reiterate that there are an awful lot of people not at all interested in procreating.
          • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1"However I will reiterate that there are an awful lot of people not at all interested in procreating."

            A pity more of them aren't politicians.
          • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1That's funny, you keep looking at this through a lens of complex, artificial social complications. The ever-increasing social complexities are a natural consequence of an increasingly complex and superficial world. There are, of course, people who will not procreate. There are also people that cut off their sex organs. There are a lot of broken people who, for one reason or another, either won't or can't procreate. That still does not change the fact that the main function of most members of any species of any organism on this planet is to mate and procreate. For some species the need to procreate is so great that despite knowing they will die in the process, they will still mate. We just happen to complicate matters for ourselves.

            I'm not sure what your point is.
  • wilhoitm, on 05/15/2008, -7/+11What about the FAT women?
    • Jus7in, on 05/15/2008, -4/+8They're gross.
    • kent1146, on 05/15/2008, -5/+14Fat chicks need love too. They just gotta pay.



      ... come on, someone had to say it.
    • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -4/+5They get twice as many.
      • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4It averages out per-pound.

        But then have you seen 90% of the construction workers MAKING these cat-calls? Not exactly the pinnacle of beauty either.

        The ones that ARE attractive, are either happily married or gay.

        The ones making the cat-calls are the letches that your mother warned you you'd marry if you kept drinking and being slutty.
    • WayOfTheIronPaw, on 05/15/2008, -1/+6They will be respectfully ignored.
    • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2I've seen fat chicks get whistled at too. One of my friends is overweight and she still gets whistled at. It doesn't matter really.
    • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Jonny likes skinny girls,
      but he'd never turn down a fattie
  • xmod3, on 05/15/2008, -9/+6Would you lick my swizzle-stick?
    • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3I lol'd, maybe I was the only one who got the reference.
  • Jus7in, on 05/15/2008, -15/+13Girls pretty much get treated like they dress, and rightly so. In cases where they dress modestly and still get crap, however, guys need to ***** off.
    • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -5/+9I'll agree with you partially. Just because a woman dresses provocatively does NOT make it open season. Politeness is still required; however, when a woman DOES dress in that manner, she should drop the "oh, I'm SO offended" act.
      • DustinHill, on 05/15/2008, -2/+8Just because a woman is dressing "immodestly", and how exactly would you define that by the way, does not mean that she was doing so to attract any sort of attention towards herself. My lady runs around in shorts and a tank top most of the summer, not because she wants attention but because we live in the Southeast and it is freaking hot out in the summer. From what you are saying, if she got catcalled during the warm months, she should totally drop that phony "oh, I'm SO offended" act because she totally knew that some perv was going to make lewd remarks to her.
        • RealmDown, on 05/15/2008, -4/+3You mean she DIDN'T know that wearing skimpy clothing would invite public commentary, or you think she is entitled to the "oh, I'm SO offended" act ?
        • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -0/+4I don't think that a tank top and shorts really qualifies as "slutty" clothes in the summer. We are hot just as much as you guys are, but you males can at least take off your shirts to cool down.
        • ChromeGhost, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2yeah true, sometimes I'll take my shirt off to cool down
          but then I again I wouldnt be offended if a girl catcalled me :-p
    • newms32, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Yeah man those sluts in tank tops sure do get what they deserve
    • punx, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2Wow thanks for that wonderful insight, Mohammed. Maybe we should all just wear burqas. Dumbass.
  • LadyDub, on 05/15/2008, -7/+33I was walking into my work on Wednesday of this week and a man coming out of the building stared me down. I thought to myself, "Please don't turn around..." Sure enough, as soon as he was past me he turned completely around to watch me until I disappeared inside the building. How do I know this? The entire building is GLASS. Now I'm creeped out because I'm sure he's in there all the time.

    Now every time I see a scruffy older man at work I imagine him saying, "You're purdy, mmm hmmm." in his best Slingblade impression.

    FOR THE LOVE OF ALL WOMEN, DON'T BE CREEPY.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -6/+21I want to smell your panties.
    • pleasureismine, on 05/15/2008, -5/+7This comment is useless without pics!
    • mike17032, on 05/15/2008, -4/+7You smell perty. Can I taste your hair?
    • WallyAnti, on 05/15/2008, -5/+3Wow, you fault an old man for looking at you in what I would call a very discreet way. Yet you were so interested in being offended that you watched him on the reflection from the glass of your building. Why not just go about your business?

      • LadyDub, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5Staring, abruptly stopping, turning around, and staring again until someone is completely out of sight is creepy in my book. But maybe you're the guy that also thinks it's ok to call a woman "Sugartits" and slap her ass upon meeting her the first time. And I did go about my business- I didn't turn around and stare back, now did I?
        • WallyAnti, on 05/16/2008, -1/+2Hah, calling someone Sugartits is an entirely different ballgame from watching them after they've passed. I'm sure you've never done that to anyone though. Right? You've never taken a double take of someone who was badly injured, deformed, dresses funny, overly attractive, etc.


          What I mean by go about your business is to not let it affect you at all. But you expect men to act like pigs so you go out of your way to find evidence for it. Watching someone from the reflection in a mirror is about as offensive as looking at a pretty girls ass. Meaning neither one of you has done harm yet both are at fault. You are after all, both spying on each other. You got what you wanted, attention (btw looking for reasons to be offended is an insincere way of getting it) and he got what he wanted... masturbatory inspiration. Where's the harm?

          *****, I get stared at all the time, not because I'm pretty but because I'm eccentric. Should I be offended? I don't think so. It's their mental hang up not mine.

          Is being stared at such a huge price to pay for being attractive?
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -6/+13Or maybe he was thinking to himself, "My God, she's ugly as sin. I have never seen something so wretched. I didn't even know people's faces could look like that. I will never be sexually aroused again in my entire life. Thanks a lot, bitch."

      Or maybe you were the best looking woman he'd seen in his entire life, and he didn't want to forget such a beautiful visage.

      Or maybe he was just another mammal that wanted to procreate.

      Either way, does it really matter? Did you ever see that guy again? Did he do something terrible to you? Or did you just make a big deal out of something that led nowhere?

      We humans tend to take ourselves and our short lives way too seriously.
      • onestrawplz, on 05/15/2008, -2/+6it does matter. it's creepy as ***** to be leered at. if you stare for longer than necessary and make crude comments, it makes most women really uncomfortable.
        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+5Well as we've already learned here, some people find it creepy, some don't. Some people care, some people don't. The people who care seem worse off in this situation than those that don't mind. And since none of it has anything to do with the physical actions people take, the only thing at stake is someone's comfort. If there were a study that showed a high correlation of catcallers to rapists, then I might see catcalling as justifiably creepy. As it is, it's just an ineffective mating call.
          • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2The ones who mind more are probably those who got really sick of it a very long time ago.

      • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -1/+7Wow so men are no better than the basest of animal instincts? I thought you guys didn't like it when you are treated like stupid neanderthals?
        • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4Hmmm, read into that comment a bit too much?
          mediaphile didn't say we are or are not better than animal instinct, I believe he was just pointing out that what the womans idea of what's going on in his head, may not be what you think.

          As they say Men are from Mars, Women from Venus... That's only saying I can't understand your thought process, any more than you can understand mine.

          Men and Women are both (as a universal truth) guilty of declaring what the other sex (as a whole) is thinking, and we've all been wrong more often than you'd expect.
          • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3Look at these illogical digg downs. Women ARE on digg!
        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2"Wow so men are no better than the basest of animal instincts?"

          I never even came close to suggesting that, but if I had, I certainly wouldn't limit the scope to only males.

          "I thought you guys didn't like it when you are treated like stupid neanderthals?"

          Who said anything about being treated like stupid neanderthals? I don't know where you're getting this *****.
        • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3You keep saying that the cat calling crap is just animal instincts. I hear guys all the time complaining about media and society treating them like they are stupid animals etc. And I don't understand if they dislike that representation of men why do they keep doing things that make them look that way. And why people try to justify it by saying we're all just animals anyway.
    • designerutah, on 05/15/2008, -4/+0It's all in your reaction. Being creeped out (or any other emotion) to a non-physical act is a choice. You're responding to his staring at you and assuming the worst, and thereby being creeped out. Assume the best, "he just thinks I'm the prettiest woman he's ever seen and he wants to remember me." or "I remind him of his daughter who died three years ago. He's staring because he thinks he's seeing her, and it's taking some time to get through that emotion" and your response becomes different. It's your choice to become creeped out. Yes, many cat calls are nothing more than guys who you would probably consider to be losers trying a cheap and easy way to tell you that they're interested. So what? It only gets creepy if they follow you, or try to give you a phone number. Other than that, they're just expressing interest or desire. And you can choose to take it for nothing more than that. Creppiness gone!

      That's not to say that lewd cat calls aren't rude. They are. But that's not a factor of creepiness. (Are women that are "creeped out" by catcalls (even honest expressions of interest) afraid of men?) It's a factor of social politeness. Respond in kind. Share your disinterest. You get a, "Hey baby, give us a flash!" Respond with, "I don't flash guys that are crude and have more hair on their back than my german sheperd." And walk on. They've shown interest in a crude, childish way. You turned them down hard. No creepiness. Just total disinterest, and you may help them learn better manners.
    • chroko, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1This link seems appropriate:

      http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/Almost_raped

      Be afraid of all men!

      /sigh.
  • Startemus, on 05/15/2008, -15/+20Look, you women have an unfair amount of power against us men. You have the ability to train us to be exactly what you want us to be. The concept that guys can be too nice and therefore will be stuck in the friend zone is retarded. Many guys have found that being a jerk is an effective way to get the ladies which is also retarded. All most guys want is to get the ladies. It's up to women to change all of that...
    God knows you have the power.
    • Akairenn, on 05/15/2008, -7/+9They're never going to change. Thank Disney and the princess mindset for that.

      Ah, well, I'd rather stay home and make out with my Monroebot. The hell with civilization; you can all be enslaved by giant talking carrots.
    • newms32, on 05/15/2008, -5/+15You think all men are powerless just because you are. Stop whining like a pussy and change yourself, you'll be better off.
      • Startemus, on 05/15/2008, -10/+6Spoken like a jerk.
        • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -3/+5I've found that honesty does earn you the "jerk" label. I won't be telling you to change yourself, though, because i'm sure you aren't capable of it.
        • tomtom13, on 05/15/2008, -4/+2Spoken by someone who isn't a pussy.

          Bitch.
      • korvan504521, on 05/15/2008, -3/+10It's not that we have a problem changing, once you understand what women want its pretty simple. The problem is that women shouldn't complain about guys acting like cads when cads are the guys women like.
        • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -3/+4I really don't understand where this idea that women like men to treat them like crap and the men acting like assholes came from. I don't know anyone who actually goes for that type of guy. I know I don't as well, I'd rather have a smart, respectful guy rather than a jerk.
        • paperclipsNsoup, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2@fantasyflamz

          Unfortunately it is kinda true. Jerks get more pussy than the nice guy, on a very superficial level that IS what guys want. I've been the nice guy for years, and all my female friends would bitch about that jerk they were with. So I followed Lykis 101 (to an extent {It teaches you to be a jerk to get women to like you}) and there really is a difference in how women perceive you .

          The caveat to this is women don't usually stay with jerks, but nice guys tend to have long relationships. The problem is women (with many exceptions) go to the jerk first.
  • ortucis, on 05/15/2008, -4/+9Meeoowww... purr purr.. meeooww..

    Not the same thing?
    • ileftfark, on 05/15/2008, -0/+8I'm pretty sure that's how furries attract one another.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2It is if you're talking to Felicia.
  • ncredblstrength, on 05/15/2008, -12/+7Seriously. If this is the biggest problem in your life, you're doing OK. Is this really thesis material? Is this even news? FOX news maybe... but CNN? I agree that it is creepy. A creepy compliment.
    • trickygrin, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1dude, i know someone who did her thesis on whether people blog to get attention... anything goes.
  • Sasquatcho, on 05/15/2008, -6/+28Women never go after the nice guy. If that was the case, I would have had beautiful women swarming me in high school.

    I wouldn't mind being cat called by women from time to time.
    • MicheleFloyd, on 05/15/2008, -3/+5I notice the men who DON'T try to get my attention. It's nothing to do with who I perceive as nice.
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+1Eh, you notice all the guys, including the ones that try to get attention. You just _prefer_ the guys that don't try to get your attention.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -3/+8Are you REALLY a nice guy or a nervous person that won't voice his opinions or pursue a girl at all? Did you TRY to get girls around you? Most people claiming to be "nice guys" are already so frustrated that they've become assholes. I was a nice guy then i was a "nice guy" and now i'm openly a rude douche.
      • Sasquatcho, on 05/15/2008, -0/+5Definitely not nervous. My 'favorite' quote from this hot girl in highschool was, "I wish the other guys could be like you"... I took that opportunity to ask her out on a date. I was rejected because she was more interested in the ass hole that was currently treating her like *****.
        • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1That's the way some women are. A decade from now, after 50 black eyes or so, she'll come back around with an entirely new attitude.
    • mysterioushouse, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3Are you a nice guy or a Nice Guy? Google it if you have to, but women know the difference and they respond accordingly.
    • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2I've never known any girl that actually goes for the assholes. Everyone I know would rather have a nice guy and does for boyfriends. I mean, high school is different b/c everyone's so stupid and immature and most relationships aren't real anyways, but in the real word, the middle of college and beyond, you don't see that.
      • Sasquatcho, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1yeah, I met the beautiful woman I married at the end of high school, so all my dating experience stems from that point and before. I'm sure woman post high school no longer see the attraction to the cool guy who is also an incredible *****. My previous statement was a bit to generalized. I need to stop posting comments when getting home after working third shift. I think sleep deprivation may be killing me slowly.
    • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3By nice guy do you mean a guy who does stuff for women and then expects sexual favors in return? Or a nice guy who doesn't expect anything for when he does something nice?
  • bjornski, on 05/15/2008, -2/+13"Hey guys, watch this....HEY BABY! SHAKE THAT ASS OVER HERE!"

    "Whoa, Earl. Your penis is huge. Can I lift it for you?"
  • newms32, on 05/15/2008, -18/+12It's creepy but honestly any woman who finds it extraordinarily offensive is probably an uptight bitch. Be happy you're desired and quit getting mad at meaningless crap.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -2/+6You just KNOW there is a fat girl nearby that sees what goes on and feels jealous.
  • samby, on 05/15/2008, -7/+4You know, this stuff is so retarded, like racism, that if you didn't actually SEE someone doing it you'd probably never even think of it yourself.
  • sagat, on 05/15/2008, -2/+10I can never get my head around the black guys here in NY catcalling 300 pound women, while a slender hottie slips by unnoticed.
  • jasdf, on 05/15/2008, -9/+5To be honest, I've never knew this type of behavior existed.
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2Welcome to society. There are people here.
  • gnimsh, on 05/15/2008, -12/+10I honestly find it absolutely disgusting and disrespectful when men do this to women. I look at women as they pass by, but rarely do I ever actually turn around to see them as they walk behind me. I think they notice these things and I would rather not be that guy. I think they have to expect men to look, but anything else is uncalled for.
    What REALLY gets me is when I'm out with my girlfriend and guys will honk at her (even when we're together) or when she's out on her own. I just find it so disrespectful and I hate that they treat her that way, but the real kicker is that she is actually flattered by it and has told me that she likes it! How bad have things gotten when the guy hates it but the girl doesn't??
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -5/+4Some girlfriend YOU have..
    • mike17032, on 05/15/2008, -5/+5You love the ***** dont you?
    • joe122370, on 05/15/2008, -4/+4YOU'RE JEALOUS OF THE ATTENTION SHE GETS
    • stk198323, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2The problem is the fact that you feel insecure! If not you wouldn't mind the attention that your girlfriend receive. When a guy looks at my girlfriend when we're walking, I just think about how he must be saying: that guy is really lucky to have such a nice girl.

      If your girl love's you she won't cheat on you so why do you feel so threatened by guy looking her way or saying she's looking good?
      • gnimsh, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1I didn't say I felt threatened, I said I find it disrespectful.
  • CressCrowbits, on 05/15/2008, -5/+16"Yeah, it's objectifying and all, but you know, if I walked down the street and didn't have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I'd think, 'Boy, I must really be getting old and dumpy,' " she said.

    Congratulations. You now believe you are simply an object.
    • joe122370, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2SHE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT MAKES SENSE
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3But humans _are_ just objects; we're simply glorified mammals.
      • sbader, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2Even Darwin didn't believe that.
        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -0/+2I'm not exactly sure what the relevance of that is. Was Darwin an authority on what species are to be considered animals?
  • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -5/+9"but you know, if I walked down the street and didn't have men looking me up and down and catcalling, I'd think, 'Boy I must really be getting old and dumpy"

    You know, it's a sad, sad thing when people are dependent on the validation of others for their own sense of self worth. Apparently, she's only attractive if random men whistle at her on the street. That says WAY more about her than it does for the men allegedly catcalling her.
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3For a social species, the acceptance of others is very important, especially when acceptance or lack thereof increases or decreases the likelihood of procreation. Simple survivalism. I'm not sure why this is surprising or appalling to anyone.
      • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4While this is true in an abstract sense, it doesn't generally work out so well when you plug in all the variables of real life. Also, not everyone is interested in procreating, and surely that's not the first thought in people's minds unless they're really desperate to have kids. Last I checked, desperation wasn't attractive, either.

        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Which part doesn't work out so well? The part about social species being interested in acceptance? Or the part about social acceptance affecting procreation? Or the part about procreation being a part of survivalism?

          Nobody said anything about desperation. Most of what humans do is an effort to keep ourselves or others alive, and to create new life (notable exceptions being things designed to keep us from being bored while we are alive, of which sex is a common choice).
          • bronxelf, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3The problem is that you're trying to say that A=C, which would be true, abstractly. . But it's not as simple as that. You're staying there's a direct line- boom- a, b, c. And in abstract, this may be so. However it overlooks culture and socialization and works strictly on a purely biological model. People in the real world do not process information this way.

            As an example- we do not know one another. This is the first time I am speaking with you. What you think about my appearance is not known to me until you express it, and therefore has no effect on me at all. However, if you choose to express it, you now have variables: are you making a positive or negative statement- even more appropriate, do we even agree on what a positive or negative statement *is*? How is this expression presented and under what circumstances? Is the expression welcome at all? Is your expression of (insert here) positive not only in what is being said, but in what manner it is said, and the circumstances under which it is said?

            My point is that people do not operate purely on a biological level. There are many variables to this that you are not considering.

            However I agree that humans act almost exclusively in their own self-interest (and that's not meant as a derogatory statement. I mean it clinically.)
          • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Everything you just said has nothing to do with my initial assertions. You are responding to conclusions I did not draw.

            My points, again, in order:

            Social animals need acceptance

            The level of social acceptance has an effect on the likelihood of procreation

            Procreation is a survivalist trait
  • Sh0rtcake, on 05/15/2008, -15/+11@startemus: we have an unfair advantage because we were severely limited and oppressed until the 70s, you prick. it's just in the last couple decades that women have had a great advantage, and rightly so if i may add. yea it's unfair when some women get their way just because they're women, but men get unfair rights all the time because they're men. black people get unfair rights too because they can play the race card, but nobody tends to say that because they'll get yelled at and be called 'racist.' (and yes, i say BLACK people. i also say WHITE people because it's just as right to say 'african-american' than it is to call myself a euopean-american. and i am WHITE, yo). anyway..

    i remember a while back a group of women took part in a little experiment where they reversed the roles.. a group of women stationed themselves alongside a road and made cat-calls towards men. the men were later interviewed and they said it really gave them a new perspective.. and they actually felt a bit threatened because it made them visible to the public and singled them out. i'm glad that there is an over-all respect for women these days, but i still think there's a while to go until men and women realize the vitality of treating each other as true equals.
  • justinil, on 05/15/2008, -3/+32The only thing this article makes me want to do is run outside and start screaming to girls "*whistle* You seem like you have a really nice personality!" and "I get the feeling you have a great sense of humor and are wonderful with kids! woooo!"
  • MicheleFloyd, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3If you want to know what it's like to be famous, be a woman in a short skirt with high heels. - Thom Yorke
  • diablo2032, on 05/15/2008, -4/+9Enjoy it while you can ladies....
  • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -6/+13The one thing that no one ever seems to take into account is the fact that there is an inverse relationship between caller and callee. If the person being complimented finds the caller attractive, then the cat call isn't seen as creepy. If the caller is not their type, then it could turn into a controversial event. Sad that we can't just honestly tell other people that we find them attractive without worrying about how they'll take it. The world would be happier if we could just be honest about that.
    • dynelol, on 05/15/2008, -3/+1***** 'em then. They don't deserve to know.
    • pleasureismine, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4And then we can all have massive orgies.
    • Risingashes, on 05/15/2008, -5/+4You have no idea what 'inverse relationship' means- please stick to words and phrases you understand.
      • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3That doesn't make his point any less valid. Please stick to productive argument instead of logical fallacies.
        http://www.nizkor.org/features/fallacies/
      • VinceNoir, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Like a bunch of people reading a column about "o my gawd that ugly loser just whistled at me!" are going to care about the mathematical definition. Stick to the science columns if you're so inflexible that you can't incorrectly apply such terms to other areas where they have no value.
  • uma22, on 05/15/2008, -13/+1If you want try some new style then click this link: http://www.reebokhexride.com/?um=01 because its relation of your fitness, health, and your sports life.
  • Envark, on 05/15/2008, -2/+15I usually just masturbate in silence when an attractive female walks by me.
  • billyfalconer, on 05/15/2008, -0/+9Not a mention in the article or comments here about women catcalling at men. It happens.
    • mike17032, on 05/15/2008, -0/+3Not to anyone using this site.
    • Memitim, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1No need to write an article about it. On the rare occasion when it happens we brag about it to everyone that we meet over the following three week period. I wish I had her problem.
      • zeabu, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1Try a warm-blood country. I've did my move a few years ago, and the difference is, where I'm born, girls feel almost insulted of any form of attention that is not a purple bill. Not every girl ofcourse. Where I live now both Spanish as Latin-American women often do the catcalling.
        If she's goodlooking, I smile, I say thanks, If they're fat and ugly, I still see it as a compliment. I've been here in bars that they slap my butt, I don't like that, but 2 minutes after I've forgotten that already.
        It's not something I have to brag about, because I've seen girls do that with my mate too.

        People are slaughtered and raped all over the world, yet some girls have to whine about a man looking at her, and in some cases giving stupid comments. Get over it!
  • insonh, on 05/15/2008, -7/+5this is why European woman are far superior to American women
    American woman are far more trouble than they are worth
    European women are much more comfortable with complements then women here
    here they dress sexy but say "I'm not dressing sexy for you so don't look"

    silly
    • zeabu, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1There is no difference between the US and Europe. There's only a difference between north and south.
  • mike17032, on 05/15/2008, -0/+13I find it better to complement their outfit or hair or something like that, most women (espically those you dont know) seem a lot more comfortable with that kind of thing than you saying something about their ***** or ass.

    "Nice shoes, wanna *****?" is my favorite line.
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+3It's truly the mark of a superficial society when compliments to one's clothes or the dead cells growing out of one's body (hair) are more valid than compliments to one's body.
      • raeshao, on 05/15/2008, -0/+1Yeah, because yelling "nice ass!" to a stranger isn't a crass move. How are compliments about ones body any less superficial? At least complimenting them on the other "superficial" items shows that you're into how they present themselves.
        • mediaphile, on 05/16/2008, -0/+1I never said cat-calling wasn't crass. It most surely is. But at the root of it is one animal's sexual interest in another. We are our bodies--everything else is just crap we dress ourselves up in. The word itself came from the words super and facies, or above (outside) faces (form). The very origin of the word means things we cover our skin with.
  • Haroshia, on 05/15/2008, -2/+14"I hate being objectified...um but does this makeup show off my eyes, and do you think this halter top shows off my fake *****? Is my ass cute in this skirt? OK seriously though yeah I can't believe that guy looked at me."

    I have heard many variations of this conversation MANY times.
  • modex, on 05/15/2008, -11/+2Stop acting like you don't like it ya stupid *****.

    Now sit on my face!
  • bowserkid, on 05/15/2008, -0/+12Catcalls =/= compliments

    A guy compliments me when I'm walking by, talking to him, whatever, FINE. We can still have common courtesy.

    Catcalls full of sexual innuendo or leering stares that burn through me, however, are NOT welcome. I didn't get dressed and walk out of the house so that I could be your dreamgirl.

    And believe it or not, not every girl dresses attractively for the sake of men. We do it to know that we look nice for ourselves. Ugh, and catcalls are equally distributed to revealing outfits and non-revealing outfits so there goes that argument.
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -5/+6Look nice for ourselves. Right. Because if you were the lone survivor of a plane crash on a deserted island, you would give a ***** about your appearance.

      Style is for other people. Period.
      • bowserkid, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3It's a debatable point, but many people do dress for themselves. I imagine if you were on a deserted island you'd stop caring about a lot of things but that doesn't disprove the fact that people in society sometimes dress for themselves.
        • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+4I love that term, "debatable". So meaningless.

          Anyway, you have basically reinforced my point. Without society, there is no concept of dressing for one's self. Without society, there is no dress but for survival. Anything outside of survival is, by necessity, superficial.
          • bowserkid, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Do you ever get lonely playing with your strawmen?
          • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1I don't believe I made a straw man logical fallacy. You agreed that one would lose the interest to be visually appealing if one were isolated on an island. You then added that some people, when a part of society, dress for themselves. This, besides merely reasserting the same point as the initial post while adding nothing new or any evidence to support it, does not refute my point.

            I never distorted your point and then attempted to refute that instead of your actual assertion, which would be the straw man fallacy you mention. But sure, throw fancy words around like you actually know what they mean.
        • designerutah, on 05/15/2008, -1/+2And your dress, walk, attitude, and smell aren't full of sexual innuendo? It works both ways. You say you dress for yourself. And you may even believe it. But truth is, way down deep, you dress to be accepted and validated. Stop denying it, and you'll find self honesty it very useful. Looking good is in small part about feeling good about yourself, but the motivator for that is primarily about being accepted and having your worth validated. Don't believe me? Dress up. Take 2 hours and really make yourself look great. Modest, but great. Then spend 8 hours alone, just working or relaxing. Now, try that same activity and dress when you're out in the world. In which activity did your clothes really make you feel good about yourself?
      • mmmarita, on 05/16/2008, -1/+0Er. No one said style is not for other people. What was said is that us ladies don't don't always dress for you gentleman. If anything, girls dress the way they do for other girls.

        How else do you explain Sex and the City? Women were running around, trying to emmulate Sarah Jessica Parker. Meanwhile, men everywhere cried as their girlfriends looked more and more like trannies.
  • toshibu, on 05/15/2008, -5/+6If the guy whistling is pretty, it's a compliment, if he ain't it's creepy. Some sense of justice you have there, American women...
    • fefu, on 05/15/2008, -2/+5It's always creepy. A guy can just smile or nod his head hello if he passes a woman he thinks is pretty, and if she doesn't return it, he can go along his merry way and LEAVE HER ALONE. The reason women don't like your catcalling is not because you're ugly, it's because it's just creepy. In fact, I find it more creepy when handsome guys catcall - for the ugly ones, it's sort of sad and pathetic, but if you're handsome, it makes you one of the worst kind of jerks.
      • zeabu, on 05/17/2008, -0/+1Most girls consider an "hello" also catcalling, or at least they feel equal insulted.
    • fantasyflamz, on 05/15/2008, -3/+2No matter who is doing the whistling, it's always creepy.
  • Avolin, on 05/15/2008, -1/+7Street harassment is not a compliment, regardless of the caller's gender. It gives the caller a power trip, and brings about a self-conscious response in the victim. I'm also pretty sure they teach people not to talk to strangers by pre-school. Seriously folks, you don't know what kind of person is attached to that nice looking behind you're shouting at.
    • designerutah, on 05/15/2008, -1/+0Depends what you mean by compliment. I think it fits the definition. It may ALSO be creepy, but that doesn't remove the appreciation behind the catcall.
  • jennicamorel, on 05/15/2008, -3/+5compliment! it's an ego boost and a power trip. I always smile and wink
    • punx, on 05/15/2008, -1/+4Jenni, you are going to get buried with this comment for a while by every Femi-Nazi and emo guy on Digg. I agree with you, it's a compliment, and the ones that complain the loudest are the ones that it doesn't happen to anyway, so I don't get it. So I dugg you up.
      • jnava121, on 05/15/2008, -1/+3haha yeah lots of emo "non conformist" i hate myself *brushes long strand of hair out of face* dudes on digg..... i
        • punx, on 05/15/2008, -1/+1Yeah, in a perfect world, men wouldn't act like girls and girls wouldn't act like bitches.
  • gkiltz, on 05/15/2008, -3/+0Depends so much on the situation!
    You behave differently in a bar than in an office!
    Example for men: If a football coach slaps you on the ass as he sends you in the game, that's acceptable! If the boss does it before sending you out before an unfriendly review board, that's not acceptable!
    Keep that sort of behavior in the clubs and bars where it belongs and you're OK! The wome who really object never go to bars!
  • kernel16, on 05/15/2008, -4/+3Majoring in women studies is that the new art major? I suppose I can pass with high marks by sprinkling my papers with "patriarchy" on them.
  • atomicrobot, on 05/15/2008, -2/+7Face it: The entire purpose of our race is survival, which boils down to reproduction. Everything we do, ultimately, is about reproducing. You can try to justify human behavior as enlightened as much as you like, but it's hogwash.

    Women dress attractively to be attractive so that they can snag the best mate. Whether or not it is a conscious thing, it is a fact. Now as a woman, you can tell yourself that you're dressing nice to feel good about yourself. Why do you feel good about yourself when you look attractive? Because you know that you are potentially attracting a good mate.

    This is hard-wired in us. It isn't going away. So you can come up with all the feminist crap you like, but ultimately we men and women exist solely to get hot for each other.
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2I agree, but would argue that many things are done for other purposes than personal procreation. Things are also done to continue one's own survival, to ensure the survival of others, and to forestall boredom.
  • portia7896, on 05/15/2008, -2/+5So I have spoken to many people concerning the issue of catcalling and have taken many different inputs. The two responses I received that have always stayed with me were both from men. One of the men I hold some respect for and the other one I hold absolutely no respect for and look at him as a misogynistic jerk. The first fellow said to me, "Well, if it truly bothers you, you should be happy because it means you are very attractive and get it often enough to be bothersome." The other fellow said, "Shut up, you know you like it or you wouldn't dress the way you do." Now, obviously, the latter comment pissed me off to no extent and someone who responds like that there is no debating with because they are so blind to anything that isn't in their on thought process due their incredible ignorance. Any attempt at debating would simply be an incredible waste of time and energy. The first fellow's response shocked me. I've tried to look at it as he was trying to give me a compliment, but it's very hard to view it as that. In my mind, it still sounds as though I should be taking the catcalling as a compliment as opposed to the discomfort it causes. I also feel that both men were just looking at my physical appearance by those remarks (which of course, the the second one always only did). I didn't get my masters and apply to law schools to be view as a doll.

    The truth is...it's not a compliment. Maybe when I was 15 and dumb it was. But when I'm leaving my employer's office, dressed in my professional digs, I don't need men screaming at me what I consider to be derogatory remarks on my physical appearance. First off, if I'm am wearing what someone else considers a "skimpy outfit", most likely it's because it's a hot day and I want to be comfortable. So the argument that, "Well the way you dress invites the catcalls" doesn't apply. In fact, anything I'm wearing I wear because it's what I am comfortable in. The only person I dress to impress is the one I sleep next to every night.

    Catcalling is an incredibly embarrassing, annoying and sometimes a little scary occurrence. Not being able to walk a few block without having numerous people hollering at me what they think about how I look or what I'm wearing is completely unacceptable and quite frankly is a huge invasion of personal space. It's incredibly nerve racking and unsettling when men follow you trying to convince you to let them give you a ride or even if they are simply observing or remarking whatever. I have actually had to flag down cops a few times to give me a ride to my desired destination because someone was bothering me so much. That's unacceptable.

    The unfortunate thing is that there are women who appreciate and enjoy these appalling catcalls. These women are the enablers. The woman in the article who said if she didn't receive the catcalls she would feel old and whatever...that's just sad. If I didn't receive the catcalls, I would feel comfortable walking, which is a right everyone should be able to have.
    • mediaphile, on 05/15/2008, -2/+6Well they certainly weren't complimenting you on your eloquence or brevity.
      • portia7896, on 05/15/2008, -4/+1Ha...I'm going to go ahead and take that as a compliment.
  • liuite, on 05/15/2008, -2/+2you should not be catcalling unless the female is in heat
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