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12 Practical Steps for Learning to Go With the Flow

zenhabits.net — “Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don ’t resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” - Lao-Tzu

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  • ToeCracker, on 02/28/2008, -3/+18Great article - thanks Mu. A few home truths for me there.
  • deepakm, on 02/28/2008, -11/+1Great Article
  • Psichomofo, on 02/28/2008, -7/+18Damn Good Article, Gave it to my Girlfriend, she hasn't responded yet.
    • thatsmyaibo, on 02/28/2008, -1/+32And for a second there I was worried whether she responded or not. Thanks for letting me know.
    • chimeraM, on 02/28/2008, -4/+1I too was curious. Dugg.
    • subliminalurge, on 02/28/2008, -1/+16Keep us posted.
    • kjh9121, on 02/28/2008, -2/+2Did the same... she better read it because telling her these things hasn't been working...
    • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+6I'll send her over as soon as she's finished.
    • Shadowtheweak, on 02/28/2008, -0/+6Well I hope she responds soon, she has me worried sick!
    • rentmitchum, on 02/29/2008, -0/+6Someone submit a milk carton with her picture on it. We need to work together here, people.
    • mrgone, on 02/29/2008, -1/+1Great for those heavy flow days!
  • altec7, on 02/28/2008, -10/+2Very true. Sometimes things happen and you have to go with the flow.
    • mcphatty, on 02/28/2008, -0/+3wow, i'm glad you could sum up the entire article in two sentences.
  • nicklausdeyring, on 02/28/2008, -8/+2Yeah nice article, thanks
  • fireheadklepto, on 02/28/2008, -8/+513.) Stay regular.
  • woohhaa, on 02/28/2008, -11/+4I love Queens of the Stone Age, but I can't get use to their new album.
    • scallon, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2You know that is actually ever so slightly more relevant than some of the other comments I've read. Especially the dude who emailed it to his gf and has yet to hear back.
  • chrisinsocalif, on 02/28/2008, -10/+3Some Ex-Lax helped my flow problem.
  • gnslngr1919, on 02/28/2008, -4/+5Doesn't this seem to be over-thinking the whole "go with the flow" idea? It's kind of all in the name.
    • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2It takes some people a lot to get past the overthinking part.
      • sarixe, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2for some people, it's not that simple. i told my parents to go with the flow a few weeks ago, and they actually lashed out at me.
    • scallon, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1I'm pretty sure Zen Habits only exists to over think.
    • rentmitchum, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1Lao Tzu would have looked at these "zen instructions" and laughed. It's good advice, but to act like Lao Tzu would be backing this plan of action is silly. A plan of action goes against the way. Living in the Tao, a lot of the things on the list happen, but doing the things on the list consciously won't get you there. It's like the harder you try, the less you'll get there. That's why there's things like koans (like which came first the chicken or the egg?) to make you see the ridiculousness of trying so hard. You're already there, you just need to realize it.

      And yes I realize I just sound like a hippie or pothead to people who don't understand where I'm at. People where I'm at in my head will get what I said, but people who aren't won't, hence the futility of instructions or steps. It's like trying to tell a blind man about colors.
      • Kurlumbenus, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1And yet, you persist in trying. Let go of your need to educate, and you'll be a better teacher.
  • capshew, on 02/28/2008, -9/+17Smoke more weed. Done.
    • JavertHolmes, on 02/28/2008, -1/+4In order to go with Lao-Tzu's flow, you'd have to wait for the plant to self-ignite.
    • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+5The point is to be able to flow without the weed, in any situation, no matter what.
  • seeyounorth, on 02/28/2008, -9/+4I think I'll go hug a tree, oohhmmm.
    /sacasm
    Good Advice, actually.
  • PaulGriffin, on 02/28/2008, -2/+4Needs more baby calf feeding.
  • HouseofEl, on 02/28/2008, -8/+2Hey, I'm sorry but I enjoy being a bitter aggravated son of a bitch sometimes. I enjoy my hate...it makes me stronger.
    • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+3It gives you the illusion of strength, and an excuse to avoid actually becoming stronger.
    • jgzman, on 02/29/2008, -0/+3Yes, good, my young apprentice. Your hate makes you strong. Now, strike down Kurlumbenus with your anger, and your journey twords the dark side will be complete!
      • Kurlumbenus, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1if you strike me down i shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
  • appletoapple, on 02/28/2008, -4/+4Bong rips and Black Box Chardonnay have always worked well for me.
  • nico623, on 02/28/2008, -8/+2Queens of the Stone Age ftw...the music video for "go with the flow" is sick.
  • ProjectGSX, on 02/28/2008, -3/+2Thanks for posting this. I now have a lot of great ways to help me come to appreciate things like warrantless wiretapping and showing my receipt to the tools at Home Depot. Im goin with the flow, man!
    • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2That's the point, in a way. The world is a perfect thing - it is exactly what we need it to be to express those parts of ourselves that define us. What would you rage against if there was no machine?
  • fireheadklepto, on 02/28/2008, -6/+0stoners...
  • JoaoPe, on 02/28/2008, -4/+1I've always lived my life this way. So far so good!
  • dano420, on 02/28/2008, -5/+1That happened to me the other day, I woke up and my water pipe burst in the bathroom but it was ok, I went with the flow and rolled a joint instead.
  • drywaller79, on 02/28/2008, -0/+7What's with all of the terrible comments? Anyways, if your really enjoyed this article, I would recommend reading Tao Te Ching. I know there are other things to read as well, but Tao Te Ching is one of my favorites. ;)
    • santiago1, on 02/28/2008, -0/+5Digg: the website where kids can be kids, and adults can also be kids.
      Remember our Motto: Anonymity is your friend!
    • chrisaug18, on 02/28/2008, -0/+3Yeah I agree. It seems like people that don't like an article will still go in and try and add a witty or funny comment when they are actually just being, for the lack of a better term, a douche. Ah well, just have to go with the flow and be thankful we have the bury button.
    • Hangly, on 02/28/2008, -4/+1It's too bad 99% of the English translations of the Dao De Jing are written by damn hippies who twist the wording.
  • ramalama, on 02/28/2008, -3/+0In mine and Einstein's opinion we can't really control anything. Physics makes us all it's bitches(determinism). Quantum mechanics doesn't effect higher levels of organization. Even if it did it would not account for free-will. Knowing this does imply that I should become completely complacent, but that is not in line with my natural inclinations and demands of society. It does, however, allow me to chill the heck out at least a little bit.
    • ksande, on 02/29/2008, -0/+0Did you really just equate your opinion to Einstein's?

      ps. my pass code was BJ4AJ. does anyone know what an aj is?
  • Ihatenicks, on 02/28/2008, -7/+5Yeah, right..
    Lao Tzu preached to the chinese about "going with the flow" and now they live under a communist dictatorship.... Americans are "going with the flow" and they are seeing their basic human rights eroded every day..
    Seeing a patern? "Going with the flow" is propaganda preached by those with a vested interest in the status quo, the last thing they want you to do is actually make a stand about something.
    So sure... go with the flow if you want to, but don't expect to be taken seriously, no-one ever got anything worthwhile by surrendering.
    • drywaller79, on 02/28/2008, -0/+6I think you need to do a little more research if you think Lao Tzu is the reason China is under a communist dictatorship.
      • Ihatenicks, on 02/28/2008, -4/+0Did I say that?
        What I DID say was that going with the flow.. WILL NOT achieve anything.. to make actual gains in this world, socially, ethically and morally, one MUST make a stand.. Ignoring what goes on around you isn't helpful to anyone.
        Try keep up next time.
        • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1Politics is for children.
        • ksande, on 02/29/2008, -2/+0no, Kurl, tickle me elmo is for children. politics wants to make you it's bitch. it wishes to rule over us. revolutions.... civil wars.... do they ring a bell?
          • Kurlumbenus, on 02/29/2008, -0/+2The world doesn't exist to be what the ego wants it to be. It exists as a classroom to teach us to be who we are. Revolutions, civil wars - just lessons to be learned.
          • ksande, on 03/03/2008, -0/+0really? tell this to any human being under the subjugation of a government force. politics is war.
    • dylio, on 02/28/2008, -3/+6Flow of life, not flow of poltiics. Idiot.
      • zephc, on 02/28/2008, -1/+7Indeed, Taoism advocates that leaders follow the will of the citizens, not the other way around.

        ihatenicks, if you want to blame a Chinese Communism on something, try Confucianism. That one is all about law, order and rigidity.
        • Sprung, on 02/28/2008, -2/+1+1, I was just gonna suggest the same thing.
    • Sprung, on 02/28/2008, -0/+3Note to self: Ihatenick doesn't understand philosophical Taoism.
    • Hangly, on 02/28/2008, -0/+3Mao wasn't exactly a Daoist. Actually Daoism hasn't been a dominant philosophy in China for a very long time.
    • expatcatalyst, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1You totally missed the point and your comparisons were wacked too!
  • johanm, on 02/28/2008, -5/+5does drinking until you pass out constitute meditation? because if so i totally meditated last night on my bathroom floor
  • sqwirl, on 02/28/2008, -6/+1Yeah, that's what we need. More complacency.

    If only those silly people during the WWII era had simply 'gone with the flow' of fascism...
    • Sprung, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2Philosophical Taoism isn't about being passive. There is a subtlety you are missing.
  • XmenArt, on 02/28/2008, -2/+1There once was this guy, and all the other guys they used to do stuff for him.
    Til this time upon which all the other guys, they didn't do stuff for him no more.
    But this guy see, he still recalls a time when all the other guys, they used to do stuff for him. So you know what he says?

    He says "you've gotta go with the flow"
    • razorsedge555, on 02/29/2008, -0/+2That's so inane, it might actually be profound.
  • drevil55, on 02/28/2008, -2/+5I have to say, these zenhabits articles keep popping up on digg, and I absolutely love them. Always insightful.
    • thatsmyaibo, on 02/28/2008, -1/+3I think they are paying MSaleem a good amount. He's the one that always submits them.
  • dylio, on 02/28/2008, -1/+12As a person who leads their life in a Buddhist/Taoist/Sihkist view on life I whole heartedly agree with the author's philosophy.
    • Hangly, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2Buddhism isn't at all compatible with Daoism. One is a philosophy of denying the world, the other of embracing it.
      How you worked Sikhism into the mix is another mystery. What would the pacifist Buddha have thought of your mandatory kirpan?
      • Sprung, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1You are generalizing. Zen Buddhism, specifically, and Philosophical Taoism are considered by many to be 2 sides of the same coin. Both emphasize a broad, universal mindset in order to help put away the petty attachments of one's personal situation.

        Sikhism, however, does not compute.
        • Hangly, on 03/06/2008, -0/+1Oh, Zen and philosophical Daoism, one being an adaptation of the other, are practically identical. I would argue that Zen is hardly Buddhist at all.
      • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1Dude, that's how eastern philosophy works. Your mind has to be flexible enough to deal with any situation, paradoxical or physical. Hail Eris.
        • Hangly, on 03/06/2008, -0/+1That's how most people think Eastern Philosophy works. Yet the late Tang dynasty still purged Buddhism from the government.
      • CanoeBuilder, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1RAW ka ra Té ¡CHOP!
      • dylio, on 03/01/2008, -0/+1I threw Sikhism in because, from what I learned (which is little) about Sikhism it's the belief in 1 god. So I accept that part of the religion, although I know nothing more about it. However; As Sprung said. I refuse 'petty attachments'.
  • Odopoddie, on 02/28/2008, -1/+9We could use more of this thinking in our mad-rush every-man-for-himself western views.
  • jm4847, on 02/28/2008, -8/+2wow I gotta hand it to zenhabits, every article they make manages to piss me off a bit for some strange reason.
  • ender52, on 02/28/2008, -1/+2Eat all the smaller organisms.
  • centerstage816, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1thanx for the digg...I'm always trying to rearrage things to fit what I 'think' is supposed to happen....going with the flow more often :-)ha, yeah right, but I'll try
  • invisiblehat, on 02/28/2008, -0/+3In general, going with the flow is a good way to approach life (especially when dealing with negative mofo's like phre3k187.)
    Hey phre3k187, I hate people like you. Negativity is for batteries and bitch-ass punks.
  • AidensMommy2008, on 02/28/2008, -0/+6I probably ought to read this first thing in the morning and right before bed every single day. I tend to overthink things that I cant control in some way which only causes me more stress/aggravation-- and it not only influences me, but my family. Great article. :)
  • AidensMommy2008, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2Woah, I just noticed all of the negative posts in regards to this article. Just a thought-- if you feel this negatively towards "going with the flow" which actually is a lot harder than it sounds and IS NOT an act of complacency, then maybe instead of getting worked up/sarcastic enough to write a negative comment, you should "not go with the flow" by reading whatever appears under your nose-- but read only what interests you (in which case, there would appear to be a lot of interest in smoking weed).
    • crazynbrav, on 03/05/2008, -0/+0lol...way to go aiden's mommy : )
  • mikehill33, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2Pretty good. I am going to practice these while golfing.
  • Spoomeister, on 02/28/2008, -1/+1Yeah, well, they're just photos after all. I can't make you hang around. I can't wash you off my skin.
  • mooseofshadows, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2The ability to let that which does not matter truly slide.
    -
  • Hangly, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1The superior gentleman is a Daoist at home, and a Confucian at the office.

    I hope this is followed up by "12 Practical Steps to Rectifying Names and Straightening Your Mat Before You Sit." At the moment I think we could use fewer people going with the flow and more people following the goddamn rules (bankers and politicians especially.)
  • pbgswd, on 02/28/2008, -3/+1why not fight back, raise hell, protest, complain, dispute, debate, compete? Why cant that be all part of the same flow? This kind of philosophy made all of chinese civilization completely docile and subservient by the time the british and japanese arrived.

    • Sprung, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1Wrong, wrong, wrong. Philosophical Taoism is not the same as being passive. Confucianism has a lot more to do with a docile and subservient mindset and is generally considered to be in many ways the polar opposite of Lao Tzu's Taoism.

      You know the Serenity Prayer? It's kind of a good example of what I'm talking about...
  • Ell3, on 02/28/2008, -4/+0"go with the flow"

    Probably the primary reason that America's educational system is so dysfunctional. Sad that America has lowered it's expectations to such low levels. How about we not "go with the flow", and instead, get in someone's face about fixing the problems.
  • jasonross, on 02/28/2008, -0/+2Lot of negative comments that's pretty disappointing. I think that's a great article, good rules to go by in life. smoking weed helps sure I'll be the first to agree with that statement, but your not always gonna have weed around to bail you out of a bad situation. Or maybe you will. If you think all this is for pussy's and tree huggers cool, that's your own personal opinion. my personal opinion is that if you follow any of those 12 steps your going to lead a happy, & better life, but hell what he ***** do i know? Great article!
  • insinuate, on 02/28/2008, -1/+1ha, I was expecting guitar lessons for Queens of the Stone Age...too much Rock Band...
  • Kurlumbenus, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1Flow isn't about passivity. It is wu wei, action without thought, doing what comes next without having to stress and freak about it. It's about being adaptable, like water. You have to be able to let go of ANY aspect of yourself. Let go of love. Let go of hate. Let go of YOU and be the ideal person in whatever situation you find yourself in. That is the nature of flow. If the flow is violent, be violent, even if a pacifist. If the flow is peaceful, be peaceful, even if you'd rather rage.
    • tgc1, on 02/28/2008, -1/+1I don't particularly agree with the violence thing. I think the mantra this entire article is trying to promote is harmony and balance. Sort of like Tao.
      • Kurlumbenus, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1Just because your ego doesn't like violence does not mean that violence ceases to be a part of Tao. Violence/struggle/conflict are all useful tools - how can there be a harmony without a cacophony? How can there be peace without war?
  • gauravcreations, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1This is an amazing article, perfectly logical, and does not need any +ve "comments" for support..
    The "negative comments" however clearly prove that lessons like these are not for everybody. It requires a much higher level of consciousness to grasp these things, which sadly seems to be lacking widely.

    Forget 12 just implementing 1 tip out of this article will drastically improve the quality of life...
    • AidensMommy2008, on 02/29/2008, -0/+0I couldnt have said it better myself. It takes extreme concentration and mental training to allow yourself to "let go" of these things in life. Its SO MUCH EASIER to let it succumb your spirit and spoil your energy.
  • Kevin108, on 02/28/2008, -0/+1There's people who make news and there's people who report news. We are in control of our own destiny. Our lives are what we make them. Tribulation is the rungs on the ladder of success. ***** going with the flow!
  • LucasVB, on 02/28/2008, -1/+1Only dead fish go with the flow!
  • marcosmark, on 02/29/2008, -0/+0great article...
  • exoendo, on 02/29/2008, -2/+3Ok I'm getting pretty sick of these vapor websites that pretend to offer something of substance when in reality it's just *****. Open your eyes people..

    #1 - "Realize that you can’t control everything. "

    O RLY? I thought I could...

    #10 - "Realize that you can’t control others"

    Ok so basically the first point just re-listed.

    #12 -"Enjoy life as a flow of change, chaos and beauty. "

    Next time I get into a car accident and there is chaos I'll remember thats it's all a matter of the flow of change, then I'm going to feel better.

    #7 - "Laugh. "
    "Oh gee golly gosh, I forgot to unlock little susie from the punishment closet and I haven't fed her in 3 days, lol life is so absurd."
    "Oh no I have cancer and no medical insurance, OOPS I guess i really dropped the ball on that one, oh ha ha ha how absurd, at least I have detached myself from this cirumstance"

    #6 - "Baby steps."

    This is illogical. This is an article about how to do X. So when describing how to do X, it's pointless to say "in order to do X, take baby steps to do X gradually. It has nothing to do with the process of X.

    It's basically recursive advice.

    #5 "Practice"

    NO *****. More pointless and recursive advice.

    #4 - "Get perspective."

    This is basically same as the laugh option, detaching yourself from a situation, get perspective, blah blah blah

    #3 - "Breathe."

    K diggers, remember to breathe, DON'T FORGET TO CALM DOWN when trying to go with the flow. I know you thought you should be angry and aggressive when trying to go with the flow - but NO, that's NOT THE CASE, contrary to POPULAR BELIEF.

    #11 - Accept Change

    It says the following: "But [circumstances] will change. It’s a fact of life. "

    Oh wow, this sounds kinda familiar, oh yeah, it's sorta like number 12, you know, the one where life is all about chaos beauty and change and things are stagnant?

    - In conclusion -

    Almost every article on zenhabits and a few other similar websites basically just rehash the same concept over and over again. Be calm, relax, detach. In such an article, the same point is made essentially over and over again written in different ways. For the few pieces of advice that stand out, it's usually painfully obvious (relax when trying to go with the flow - no ***** *****) and a waste of time anyway.

    Thank you.
    • BabyWookie, on 02/29/2008, -2/+1Amen. I'm sick of this banal self-help BS as well. Any one who can't figure this ***** out on their own is pathetic.
  • ultraJesus, on 02/29/2008, -0/+2This might stave off my lingering obsession with gunning down images of co-workers while shouting "Yah! You like that don't ya bitch!"
  • Metasquares, on 02/29/2008, -0/+1This is excellent advice if you want to be happy, but very poor advice if you want your life to have significance. Learn to think of everything as perfect? If that's the case, why change them?
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