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The Sexiest Truck on the Planet!!! (photos)

thrillingwonder.blogspot.com — Words fail me as I gaze on the audacious curves of these full-size trucks, some of which seem to float above the ground. First "Colani Trucks" (based on Mercedes platform) appeared at the end of the Eighties, and several variations were made since then.

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  • yakpimp, on 10/12/2007, -18/+366I think you meant "ugliest".
    • netburnr, on 10/12/2007, -2/+45Looks like a catfish
    • Petronski, on 10/12/2007, -4/+124I agree about the "sexiest truck" if by "sexiest" you mean "most likely to get you ass-raped at a truckstop on your first OTR run..."
    • TheWestExit, on 10/12/2007, -3/+21Like a catfish with one eye due to those ultra-kick-ass windshield wipers. Look at those things, they won't wick away the water, instead they'll make it into a frozen daiquiri.
    • drakethegreat, on 10/12/2007, -5/+34Trucks were not meant to be sexy.
    • alamandrax, on 10/12/2007, -1/+27thank god. i thought i was going to be the only one who thought that was ugly.

      functional, but ugly nonetheless.
    • Wamzlee, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10Looks like a Stormtrooper to me.
    • kasted, on 10/12/2007, -1/+78looks like a big dildo
    • Cloud7654, on 10/12/2007, -12/+17Holy crap, its Optimus Prime!
    • cooldudevamsee, on 10/12/2007, -13/+1But I used to think trucks run on road right ?
    • Dmitrik, on 10/12/2007, -8/+37Marked as inaccurate.
      It is really ugly.
    • artish, on 10/12/2007, -1/+25Reminds me of the Homer Simpson car.
      http://perso.orange.fr/Jas-n-Geoff/Geoff/homer.jpg
    • voisine, on 10/12/2007, -4/+5No not ugliest. He meant Fugliest.
    • dvdave, on 10/12/2007, -7/+0Agreed, fugly!
    • baalzebub, on 10/12/2007, -4/+10yes! i agree those things are ugly,

      if i was to buy a new 18 wheeler i would want a long-nose Peterbilt like this one:

      http://parts.dietersaccessories.com/images/Image-Welcome-Peterbilt.jpg
    • Caviarmy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+13PENIS-TRUCK, AWAAAAAY!
    • mutatron, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4You people probably thought Citroëns were ugly too. Philistines!
    • falstaff, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Looks very aerodynamic. Which will give the driver an edge as he tries desperately to speed away from the mobs that are trying to kill him for subjecting them to this monstrosity. Those things are hideous.
    • stappawho, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Great googly moogly!

      That thing is hideous.
    • dpcamp, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6all it needs is a rainbow bumper sticker on it and it's set!
    • qeek, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Does it vibrate?
    • flashboy131, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8it is a bit dildoesque.
      I guess that would be the cockpit up front? (oh I know thats bad.)
    • Tolzmaniac, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2was anyone else reminded of transformers?


      or power rangers?
    • ZeroMP, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2It is an abomination to be sure, but the spinning three-blade wiper system is interesting.

      Remind anyone of this post: http://digg.com/mods/Photos_Crazy_Japanese_Gangster_Car_Mods ?
    • chaddc, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6This looks alot like the truck I remember from a TV show in the 80s. I think it was called the Highwayman. In fact here is the Wikipedia link with a pic. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Highwayman_(TV_series)
    • broeks, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2Also, you must wear a pink jumpsuit to drive this truck
    • digitalbuzz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Orgazmo's truck of choice!
    • melophobia07, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1looks like cyclops laying down
    • SniperX, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1It's Subaru's new 2008 model of the Wiener Mobile
    • mikeazorin, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1World's biggest Weinermobile!
    • veracon, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3If I were to get my truck pimped, I'd rather avoid the whole dildo-with-flames-on-the-side look.
    • opcenter, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1As somebody who drives trucks for a living, I find myself wondering how something like that would be to drive. Since they don't show the inside, I have to try and imagine what the view would be like. The visibility looks excellent. The only problem is sitting up so high (higher than a normal semi, anyways), and not being able to SEE any part of the truck from the cab. I think it would give me a feeling that I was really top-heavy, like sitting on a nine-foot kitchen stool going around freeway entrance ramps. I'd like to drive one, just to see if it's as tippy as it looks.
  • UCBearcats, on 10/12/2007, -11/+4Ohh the curves, they are so sexy...lol
    • tablecloth007, on 10/12/2007, -1/+20I am quite aroused.
    • linkinpark342, on 10/12/2007, -1/+18Anyone else think it look like a gigantic dildo?
    • KibibyteBrain, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Please girls, help this poor guy out! Can't you feel some sorrow for him?
    • sbrown, on 10/12/2007, -10/+1if that is sexy then I am a LOLLERSKATING HAXOR

      Its ugly
    • sbrown, on 10/12/2007, -35/+2it looks like a peice of ***** i saw in the toilet one day and quickly flushed it
















































































      .
  • Vasdeference, on 10/12/2007, -6/+14I think I throw up alil in my mouth.
    • UCBearcats, on 10/12/2007, -12/+3What is your beef with the truck? Or is that what you had for dinner last night?
    • nox327, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15Doesn't it look like the truck from the TV series 'Highway Man'
      Take a look

      http://www.coucoucircus.org/series/images-series/highwayman.jpg
    • tresk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2@nox327
      I was going to say the same thing, I loved that show, and the fact that the cab of the truck was also a helicopter!
      You wouldn't happen to know where i could get the episodes?
    • nox327, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1@ tresk
      No, It seems average people didn't like the series, I though it was amazing (I was young then, everything seemed nice), That was actually the largest image I could find of the truck.
  • simpleid, on 10/12/2007, -1/+38Lol after seeing that I don't think I want to see the loading dock for it. ;)
    • Dpack1, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5These trucks dont carry loads, the trailer on the back is where the 20,000 D size batteries go to make it vibrate.
  • astrocreep2k, on 10/12/2007, -3/+18That truck should be shot.
  • MJ420, on 10/12/2007, -13/+1I find them quite sexy. Good to see that truck-manufactorers are pushing design and RD to the limits. Have no doubt that we´ll these on the roads in the future (5-10 years or so)
    • cyberdork, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7LOL, they were designed by Colani in the late 1970s and some prototypes were build in the early 80s as far as I remember!
    • FalseProphecy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15....Despite the 2 or 3 separate "Check Spelling" buttons, he still manages to post "truck-manufactorers".
  • UCBearcats, on 10/12/2007, -1/+22Hopefully they also get sexy truck drivers too.
    • detlev409, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4That is the definition of an oxymoron.
    • jer2eydevil88, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1They would be amazing props in a porn movie
  • slowmo, on 10/12/2007, -3/+14The circular windshield wipers are effing awesome.
    • scatfly, on 10/12/2007, -7/+2probably gonna give some type of royalty fee to mercedes for the resmeblence!
    • frej, on 10/12/2007, -3/+2Agree. But they are probably more of a trademark than a design element since Mercedes seems to have a great part in this project.
    • dr00, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6they look like some sort of demented clock to me.
    • adolfojp, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4scatfly

      They will not get sued by Mercedes because it is a Mercedes truck. So much for you rtfa guys. ;-)

      "First "Colani Trucks" (based on Mercedes platform) ..."

    • Dpack1, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1they also double as a propellor to save gas mileage

      /sarcasm
    • DreKor, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I agree that the circular windshield is a sweet looking concept and the 3 wipers make an obvious call the the Mercedes connection, but they're not that cool. If you look closely, you'll see that they are standard blades fixed at 120 degree offsets and they each have their own pivot point so they move independently. If all 3 rotated about a center axis, then we have some new stuff to talk about.
  • Oskaruth, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Those are trucks? They look more like trains!
  • FalseProphecy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Well, it turns out John Hodgman was wrong. People can masturbate to a truck.
  • KaPowtheFOB, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2this is like the "Homer" car designed by Homer Simpson on the show. absolute failure.
  • Glugory, on 10/12/2007, -3/+3I guess if you enjoy trucks that look like giant penises then this is the thing for you. For us straight folk, not so much.
  • punchingjudy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Nerdgasm!

    *faking*
  • dak1486, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14Calling these trucks sexy is like calling one of Britney Spears' crotch shots sexy.

    Shiver
  • tokkio, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3Is it just me or does it sort of look like a Cylon's head?
  • jcaino, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4yea...by sexy he meant a large phallic symbol


    speaking of symbols...the Mercedes symbol on the windshield (part of it) is badass
  • Hensworth, on 10/12/2007, -2/+11Boy, that's a nice looking *****.
    • Petronski, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7You . . . uh? . . . . Are you still talking about the trucks?
    • MegaHyster, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5From the list of things not say in the public restroom?
  • MrZop, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Trucks were meant to have big wheels, lots of dents, no creature comforts, room for the dog, a lot of dust on the dashboard, and completely covered in dirt and mud.

    ...And be a Chevy
    • JimDinger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3And big tires!!

      sorry Im just a redneck from Wisconsin.
    • robtowne, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1uhm, i think you spelled "Ford" wrong...haha it almost looks like you wrote "Chevy"!
  • NanoStuff, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2I would assume they were designed with fuel efficiency in mind. I'm surprised it hasn't caught on, it should significantly reduce fuel costs.
    • ultraelite, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8really? You're surprised it hasn't caught on... I'm not
  • Domza, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6Its a giant phallus with wheels...
  • gaijin, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10Is that a windshield wiper or a propeller?
  • gabizzeras, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0It`s so... so... ugly. Sure, it`s very dificult to design and manufacture, but it`s horrible to look at. It's so organic that reminds me of a hydrocephalic child, which is horrible.
    Not sexy, just admirable.
  • jewdiknight, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Hey everyone, its the damn 21st Century. Its about time our cars start looking like it. First we need our cars to have crazy curves, then once we have that we can add the hover technology to it.
  • poseitom, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2gotta see it for real, it's not really a good looking truck (on the pics) but it's neither an ugly one…
  • green1152, on 10/12/2007, -2/+2That truck looks like a tall fat woman with saggy boobs! FUGLY!
  • Arkonnan, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Oscar Mayer Wienermobile 2.0?
  • MrSunshine, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1It's Colani, it can't be beautiful. Although the 4th from the bottom has something Alien/H.R. Giger-like.
  • wassah2200, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1They look like giant bugs...

    so if hornets, and spiders turn you on, these are the trucks for you ;)
  • Ocelot13, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1the top looks like freaking bubble boy's bedroom...

    or possibly something that belongs on a hamster cage...
  • Saeros, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0It's a shame to ride it..
  • nacs, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Reminds me of the Oscar Weinermobile:
    http://thumbsnap.com/v/nrM26Btr.jpg
    • cameron074, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1i was thinking the same thing, like a high tech futuristic weiner delivering silver bullet
  • flamingmb, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Who else expected the pussy wagon?
  • moovitz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3okay, what scares me is that you know that hundreds and maybe even in the lower thousands of people had to say "That's a wicked idea! lets make a model of it, then a prototype and perhaps even production!"

    At least if Family Guy's Peter existed, he could really have his own penis car.
  • jasocahill, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0Those are the ugliest things I have ever seen. I agree with those who refer to these things as gigantic dildos. I feel sorry for the trucker who is forced to take a long haul riding in one of these.
  • Inqu, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1Why does this non-tech related junk keep coming into my reader? Put this crap in the right area for crying out loud.
  • sbrown, on 10/12/2007, -16/+1LOL










































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































    lol i thought my web browser was ficking up too lol
  • Shamrock13, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1What the hell is that thing?! Also, can we limit how many characters one can post or something? I don't like the fact that people think it is funny to spam the space.
    • Fordi, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Actually, I think it's called 'flooding', re IRC.
  • Aalenox, on 10/12/2007, -3/+1I had clicked on the article thinking to myself "damn rednecks and their trucks..."

    But I have to admit - that is a pretty cool truck
  • sbrown, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5if i saw that thing coming behind my car, then i would

    ***** my pants
    plough off the road
    scream
    run

    not necessarily in that order
  • NoHardFelines, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2i don't think "sexy" is the word
  • oslointhesummer, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3penises.

    they all look like penises.
  • BatterseaPS, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0I don't think it's sexy, but I don't see what makes it ugly, either. Vehicles are vehicles; that's all. I like this one but I don't pretend to have some understanding of style in motor-transport. I like it because it's something different than what we've had for decades, and I like different things.
  • chapinmesa, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Looks like the Wiener Mobile on meth!!
  • wolf203, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I'm waiting for it to transform! AUTOBOTS TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT!!!
  • judgeFire, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Necris Viper, Nemesis, Darkwalker, Fury and .... Truck?

    Yes, I suppose it can happen, why not.
  • flap, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Jesus!

    it looks like they are built to house small marine life.
  • aristoFON, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1If you think this truck is sexy, then you're a pork chopper.
  • H011yJ3susB411s, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2this truck is so sexy ................................................ NOT
    (c)BORAT
    • UCBearcats, on 10/12/2007, -2/+1this truck is so sexy...................................PAUSE............................................ NOT
      (c)BORAT
  • mancat, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1It's a god damn Cylon!
  • KCinWisc, on 10/12/2007, -2/+0Not one single PETERBILT reference...you guys are slipping!!!
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