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The 25 Most Baffling Toys From Around the World

cracked.com — These are weirdest, most ill-conceived toys from around the globe. If you're about to say that they're "weird" only because of our own xenophobic ignorance of other cultures, well, we have two words for you: Poop toys. You'll see. Surprisingly, not all of these are from Japan.

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  • thestormcrow, on 11/14/2007, -7/+14My childhood was sadly lacking...
    • themastersb, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1I want #22
      • tychoides, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1You can pick them up in Den-Den Town in Osaka and probably Akihabara in Tokyo, they aren't too expensive. I saw them when I was in Japan a few weeks ago. :)
    • tychoides, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1Wrong reply, sorry.
    • Katrin20den, on 11/16/2007, -0/+1You can still get one of those ;)
  • MikeonTV, on 11/14/2007, -4/+30I didn't know that Asia was considered 'Around the World'!
    • MrZaiko, on 11/14/2007, -1/+3There were some Russian limited time David lee Roth dolls if recall...
    • kakwakas, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1That just happens to be where the most disturbing/weird toys are...
    • koweja, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1I didn't know that the UK was in Asia.
  • saltywings, on 11/14/2007, -8/+33I now suddenly feel compelled to never visit Asia... ever.
    • Jimzip, on 11/14/2007, -2/+6You kidding? I'd go there just for the girls with jet legs!
      Pure gold...

      Jimzip :D
    • skyfire1, on 11/14/2007, -9/+2Between this, lead poisoning, dolphin slaughtering, and trannie, I can't see why anyone would.
      • Matri, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1Ever seen the schoolgirl uniforms?
      • ShrimpCrackers, on 11/14/2007, -0/+3Please don't confuse China with Japan. While China is mostly 3rd world, Japan's standard of living is a bit higher than the USA. Add the fact that everyone has TV on their cellphone, super duper fast internet connections, and the chicks are hot, I'd personally say considerably higher. Oh and everyone gets medical care.
    • MrNexus, on 11/20/2007, -0/+1I now suddenly feel compelled to visit Asia... now!
  • Natural20, on 11/14/2007, -34/+6The person above me is totally gay.
  • dynacrylic, on 11/14/2007, -1/+22I don't know what is worse- the child "sled", the putter, or the "David Lee Roth" look-a-like dolls.
  • TheNorris, on 11/14/2007, -11/+2Your toys from China! They look great, just don't call us about the lead.
  • NYC83, on 11/14/2007, -5/+32the 'God-Jesus' robot, which wields a weaponized cross, would probably sell quite well in certain parts of America
    • hiPpymIck, on 11/14/2007, -3/+3i once saw on tv a mechanical nun doll.. that showered sparks from her mouth
  • dunnylovehun, on 11/14/2007, -1/+32"Yes, that's a gun that fires teddy bears. Although crime is rare in Japan, when it happens, it is absolutely hilarious." But the faces on the stuffed pee and poo is what got me. They look so...sad.
  • p0ss, on 11/14/2007, -2/+20Sweet robot Jesus!
  • p0ss, on 11/14/2007, -0/+17"The Japanese version of the Scooby Doo team is made up of Sadslab, Baby Sauron, Raging Emo, Yellowturd and Soulglutton." mwuhahaha those are hillarious, I want baby sauron and raging emo. Classic Gold!!
  • DeviantDragon, on 11/14/2007, -2/+37Seen in this article: The only golf club that adds strokes to your games.
    • tamareesoeres, on 11/14/2007, -0/+2I see what you did there.......
  • yomamaisfat, on 11/14/2007, -0/+21The poop hat is from the 2 Girls 1 Cup collection at Target.
  • PawFox, on 11/14/2007, -1/+9I would love to own #22.. but the Teddy Gun would be cool
  • GruntGrunt, on 11/14/2007, -7/+6Some of those were just sick, who the hell would by a kid a "sled" with a giant dildo on the front. Seriously wtf.
    • thebellmaster1x, on 11/14/2007, -1/+2...That's why they're baffling. I don't see the problem here.
  • LastSight, on 11/14/2007, -19/+1hmm....so most of the diggers out there are white. we already said that theyre men but theyre also white men.....umm so to not be racist
    WHITE POWER....plz
    • Crimsoneer, on 11/14/2007, -1/+10what?
    • Murdats, on 11/14/2007, -2/+2if you are wanting 'white power' what matters their gender? unless you dont want 'white power' but you just want your social group to be deemed superior, however by the fact you are in that social group, it would indicate otherwise.
  • burstaneurysm, on 11/14/2007, -0/+19Where can one buy the Hazmat Playmobil toys?
    • samsonthesaxman, on 11/14/2007, -1/+2I just bought one on eBay, get them while you can!
  • icegoddess13, on 11/14/2007, -1/+10"We're told this is some sort of child's sled, and that thing sticking out of it is a handle, upon which the child can hang on while enjoying an exciting winter adventure."

    riiiight.....we'll just go with that.
  • burstaneurysm, on 11/13/2007, -1/+2I think #14 is a Wombat
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wombat
  • jennmae, on 11/14/2007, -1/+10And I thought I knew what I wanted for Christmas...
  • BolognaFire, on 11/14/2007, -2/+0#16 is a katamari.
    Also, teddy bear gun. I need one of those for next Halloween. Keep the mindless candy zombies at bay.
    • linzichan, on 11/14/2007, -1/+2No, #16 is a toy for small kids. It says the design lets them carry it easily.

      But I'd rather think it's a herpes virus.
  • cowtown, on 11/14/2007, -2/+1Dugg for getting a list of 25 items on only two ad-filled pages... And yes, my standards HAVE been lowered.
  • hiPpymIck, on 11/14/2007, -0/+8gotta say the practice pole dancing (newish thing in UK) kit

    complete with garter and fake dollar bills was hilarious
    • merreborn, on 11/14/2007, -0/+6It's worth noting that it was never intended to be marketed to children. It's an adult toy, designed for sale in sex shops. All components are sized for adults.
      Some stupid British e-tailer screwed up and put it in the kid's toys section of their site, which lead people to believe that they were actually trying to sell them to kids.
      • SupaSolly, on 11/14/2007, -2/+0If they were in the kids toy section they were trying to sell them to kids
  • total1337ness, on 11/14/2007, -1/+10"Hey can I play with your ***** blocs?"
  • MutatedNantuko, on 11/14/2007, -0/+15Dugg for "***** Block Super"
  • kosai, on 11/14/2007, -1/+7Funny they say thet mention all aren't from Japan... then proceed with 85% having Japanese writing on them.
    • SeventhShoelace, on 11/14/2007, -2/+1 I think the article was saying that contrary to popular belief, not ALL of the toys are from Japan. One of them is said to be from the UK.
    • Cenobite, on 11/15/2007, -2/+185% != all
  • SeventhShoelace, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1 Pardon my obvious lack of an artistic mind, why would someone design a golf club with a golden penis. That just goes right over my head. Also; if the person who wrote the article was correct about number sixteen, showing little kids what it's like to catch a disease?
    • p0ss, on 11/14/2007, -0/+5who doesn't like getting together with their executive mates and slapping some balls around with a gold plated wang?
      • MarkusGarvey, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1Wang!......what the hell is that up there in the sky...wow,..... it looks just like a huge.........
  • MarkusGarvey, on 11/14/2007, -0/+4***** Blocks....i find them in bars all over my town......
  • Fizban140, on 11/14/2007, -0/+9I laughed so hard I cried, what an amazing list.
  • DarkDays, on 11/14/2007, -0/+11These things were pretty normal when I was growing up in Japan. I feel awkward...
  • skyfire1, on 11/14/2007, -2/+3I want piss and *****.
  • mepawl, on 11/14/2007, -1/+2They missed the Russian Roulette Toy Gun :(
  • blup3ace, on 11/14/2007, -5/+1what a bunch of *****
  • huwy, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1I don't know what he's on about with no. 17, it's blatantly the plastic cape of a valiant toy-knight.
  • sock2828, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1can anybody tell me where i can get that giant hamster plus toy?
  • RubberBinder, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1Is it just me or does that sled look horribly inefficient. The front would just dig into the snow instead of gliding across the top.
  • Shughes01, on 11/14/2007, -2/+0Those are hillarious!
    www.skyelist.com
  • crossmr, on 11/14/2007, -2/+1#17 is a ***** cape. Its not rocket science.
    The helmet is ***** up though.
    • crossmr, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1it IS a cape, someone want to explain the digg down?
  • Jrepass, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1Who wouldn't want their kids playing with a Pope Robot?
  • dstz, on 11/14/2007, -1/+2I got the Playmobil Hazmat disposal crew to put in the growing area of my "cannabis garden", if you see what I mean.
  • Majorkerina, on 11/14/2007, -0/+1Jesus bot loves you...with a flame-throwing eyes!

    There's some really good ones in here. The trap dolly is weird. The Jet-tans rock. I love anthropomorphizations.Everything else scares me...except the Teddy Bear Gun. That's just plain awesome.
  • SupaSolly, on 11/14/2007, -2/+0The ***** Bloc Super is great & who the hell thought a stripper pole for kids was a good idea it even had fake money & a garter.
  • kashem, on 11/14/2007, -1/+2#5 -- do NOT make fun of Geh Geh Geh no Kitaro!!!
    • s0nicfreak, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1Yeah, it's older than Scooby Doo, and at least 10 times more awesome.
  • sbuali, on 11/14/2007, -1/+0hhahaha possibly the funniest article i've ever read. loved the USB in a bondage mask one
  • mahdaeng, on 11/14/2007, -1/+1Dugg for David Lee Roth jab.
  • mitypen, on 01/30/2008, -0/+1I don't even know where to begin except with a huge burst of laughter. From bondage to female/male dolls -- just to funny.
  • nicos00, on 02/07/2008, -0/+0Yes.. I can imagine my father coming like a psycho, bringing me the robo-jesus, saying "Pray to the Robot young man! Worship it, or I'm gonna hit you with this weird golden penis golf bat!!!"...
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