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Rebuttal: Why Superman Doesn't Suck

bamkapow.com — Response to yesterday's article about Why Superman Will Always Suck. Superman's the Defender of Truth, Justice, and the American Way. How can that suck?

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  • Cowgodx, on 04/10/2008, -7/+17It's all about Deadpool!
    • sterntastic223, on 04/10/2008, -5/+4"It" being "nothing related to this article at all."
  • LegendaryHitman, on 04/10/2008, -4/+6Deadpool is pretty bad@$$, no doubt.
  • vik16, on 04/10/2008, -4/+23Superman is pretty crazy, but Batman doesn't have any crazy superpowers, he's all natural.
    • trevorjez, on 04/10/2008, -3/+3what about in Superman II when he gave up his powers? man that trucker kicked his ass...
    • Daiken, on 04/10/2008, -1/+4Who's natural doesn't decide who's better. There are times I liked Superman better, and there are times I like Batman.
    • cquinnd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2Batman is a Sherlock Holmes class detective, world class martial artist, escape artist and acrobat, and recovered from a crippling back injury to the peak of his abilities by sheer force of will.
      He may not have "super" powers, but he's definately not normal. (not to mention being a billionaire on the side).
  • Genshinx, on 04/10/2008, -19/+57Buried as inaccurate, superman is lame.
    • dinostabOMG, on 04/10/2008, -1/+4Yeah. Haha - if you have to entitle the article "Why x doesn't suck" you're kind of fighting an uphill battle.
  • KnightMareInc, on 04/10/2008, -12/+22no, he sucks.
    • kingfoot, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2he will always suck because its LAME to be so abnormally powerful. now, batman and ironman and characters alike will always be better because they dont have any super powers. they're just normal people who take crime fighting into their own very capable hands.
      • kenok, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1No, they're not normal at all... they wear masks and costumes!

        Other characters are better than Superman is that they have flaws!
  • evilunleashed, on 04/10/2008, -16/+30Buried as inaccurate. Superman will always suck.
  • jmkiii, on 04/10/2008, -4/+10
    No longer "the American Way." Now it's "all that stuff."
  • jkr801, on 04/10/2008, -11/+4He's not that cool....x-men FTW
  • Alix7, on 04/10/2008, -13/+3Punisher > All
    • pe5t1lence, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1No, its true. He killed the Marvel Universe.
  • ChrisWickenscom, on 04/10/2008, -16/+46Exactly why superman sucks, he fights for the American Way.
    If the past 10 years have taught us anything, that's not the right way at all.
    • truthhammer, on 04/10/2008, -20/+7piss off...if you live in America ..PLEASE LEAVE if you hate it so much
      • gwhardyiv, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3res ipsa loquitur
      • orangefly, on 04/10/2008, -1/+13i like how people say that....if you don't like it leave....don't you dare stay and voice your opinion in the hopes of changing things for the better....
        you just made the most unamerican comment possible....
      • Stemnin, on 04/10/2008, -2/+1Leave what? The planet, hell, gotta get past Mars, someone move to Titan with me? I don't want to be lonely..
      • boobsbr, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2There was a government slogan during the ***** in Brazil that went like: "Brazil, love or leave it."
        Nice to know you sport the same opinion as my authoritarian, totalitarian and intolerant military dictators. Way to go.


        last one to leave, please turn off the lights...
      • abuelos84, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4Or he can be a grown-up and try to change it for the better. You know, it's not always about pride.
    • Mahoney07, on 04/10/2008, -12/+2***** you hippy.
      • daEvan, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Whats with the sudden flood of conservative trolls?
    • JSager, on 04/10/2008, -0/+5Bush and his people haven't been fighting for the American Way if that's what you mean. They've pushed our beliefs to the side in order to pursue their own ends.
      • 533n, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2The American way, is what the American people do. What do they do to stop Bush? Nothing
  • d0ugfunny, on 04/10/2008, -12/+6You realize that he's not real, right?
    • omgJOHN, on 04/10/2008, -0/+7No ***** *****! You just blew my god damned mind away.
    • TheMadPoet, on 04/10/2008, -1/+2but... but (sniff)... he's my imaginary friend...
    • Synn, on 04/10/2008, -1/+7Just like your girlfriend.
    • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3Welcome to reality. Watch your step.
  • ericdano, on 04/10/2008, -12/+2Funny that we tend to highlight people who are born with natural abilities, like little kids who can do this or that, but the original author seemed to skip over that and insist that working hard to achieve the goal is more worthy. Not at all. I think both this article and the one from yesterday are pretty darn lame.......
    • SpaceMonkeyZero, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3No. It's about how you USE your abilities. Superman would have been one hell of a bad guy...
  • 533n, on 04/10/2008, -13/+16The American way? What is that torturing POWs, illegal wars?
    • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -1/+6No. Spending the bank's money and then getting the government to bail you out.
    • HouseofEl, on 04/10/2008, -6/+11Because we are the only country to ever elect the wrong person and get ourselves into a mess? Thanks for lumping the entire history of my country into a ***** stretch of 8 years.
      • 533n, on 04/10/2008, -3/+9IDIOT, 8 years? Try the last 100. Slavery? Oh man you are so ignorant, you really think America hasn't done F*cked up ***** in the last 100 years, just because CNN doesn't tell you, doesn't mean it didn't happen you ignorant fool.
        • cquinnd, on 04/10/2008, -1/+2And again you act like this one country is the only ones to do so thruought history.
          • cowman, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1No, but it is as far as I know the first country that was founded on ideals that was against the "***** up *****". Because of that, I'm afraid your country will always be held to a higher standard.
          • 533n, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1I never once said other countries didn't. But America acts so self righteous and acts as if other countries are 10x worse. When the fact of the matter is that America is just as bad
      • abuelos84, on 04/10/2008, -1/+2Well, tell that to the people of Nicaragua, Panama, Cuba, Vietnam, Hiroshima; learn about Plan Condor and the economical & logistic support that the Govt. of USA gave to dictatorships in South America. Learn about Saddam & Osama, old "pals" of your Government, etc, etc...
        Bush is ***** up, but HE IS NOT AN EXCEPTION...
    • RaiderWolf, on 04/10/2008, -3/+3A'yup! And that is why Superman still sucks.
  • Amadeus2490, on 04/10/2008, -6/+8Even Spider-man 3 wasn't anywhere NEARLY as bad as any of the Superman movies. At least Spider-man never threw a giant, transparent Comic Code symbol at them to subdue anybody.
  • johnchaney3, on 04/10/2008, -4/+5If an animated icon is that crucial to the position of any entity the entity is really weak.
  • Tapewormz, on 04/10/2008, -7/+11Well for one thing...His slogan is dated. When you read the words "the american way", the rest of the world shudders.
  • pe5t1lence, on 04/10/2008, -7/+3So tell me this. Does the back of your throat hurt after Supes blows his load in your mouth?
  • disher91, on 04/10/2008, -5/+1zomg that website hurt my eyes.
  • racco, on 04/10/2008, -4/+1if he did suck, he'd suck it right off
  • jcroweall7, on 04/10/2008, -1/+17Not as strong an argument as the original. And I don't see how Batman is "operating in his own best interests." "His own best interests," I think, would be to donate a ton of money to the Gotham police department so they can do their jobs with the best training and equipment. To be fair, though, Superman is only about half as lame as this "rebuttal."
    • cquinnd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Donating a ton of money doesn't give closure over the circumstances that caused his parents deaths.
  • fearlessfx, on 04/10/2008, -5/+28Soooo... who is psyched for Ironman?
    • xOKxWhy, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Robert Downey Jr.
      • OpaqueMurdock, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Who better to play a smart mouthed, arrogant, yet brilliant, substance abuser? (the brilliant part might be a stretch, but he can be a very good actor and he is clever.)
    • OpaqueMurdock, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1*Raises hand
    • CarStan, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1I AM
  • rudy23, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2cos wonder girl does it for him
  • LaughingMan11, on 04/10/2008, -3/+11It's been pretty well established : Superman is a dick.

    http://www.superdickery.com/
  • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -4/+18Superman has no values. Batman fight for justice, and sometimes vengeance.
    Superman was born with powers. Batman had to create himself.
    Superman is made of steel. Batman is more human, he can get hurt, and it takes more balls for him to fight.
    Superman is boring and a wimp as Clark Kent. Batman kicks ass as Bruce Wayne also.

    Outside undies are gay.
    • navster15, on 04/10/2008, -2/+6They both have outside undies...
    • clak, on 04/10/2008, -2/+1But Batman is a freaking Billionaire. I wouldn't go as far as to say he created himself. He doesn't have to work for a living and has all these cool devices that were reject projects at Wayne Enterprises, like the Bat Mobile.
      • SSCrow, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Did you miss the part where Batman went to Japan to train himself in all the martial arts. Wherehe also made some pretty badass rivals.
        Yeah he didn't just happen to spend money and tada you can has Martial arts ability. NO he ***** trained for years on end to become what we know as batman.
        • clak, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Yeah, and if he was a regular joe he would have to work for a living. He wouldn't have the time or money to go into training. So Batman is as much a result of inherited wealth as Superman is of inherited powers.
    • grey580, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Superman has values. He fights for truth and justice.
      Superman is an alien with powers. Batman is a raving psychotic that plans for every contingency.
      Superman is flesh and blood. He's very weak when fighting magic. Batman is just a badass. Even Lobo is scared of batman.
      Superman is a low key guy as clark kent. he's supposed to be that way.
      • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Truth and justice as defined by governing bodies and ruling classes.
        Batman is a raving psychotic. So what?
        Define flesh and blood.
        Clark Kent sucks. The character makes no sense, wuss. What happened to the man of steel?
    • NewPatriot, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1yeah. and batman didn't create himself, an act of violence created batman
      • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1Yup.

        A robber killed his parents and then a young Bruce Wayne instantly gained; 200lbs, 20 years, martial art skills, weapons & gadgets, a underground layer.... etc.
  • Kenzan, on 04/10/2008, -2/+6Moon Knight FTW.
  • Swish, on 04/10/2008, -2/+10EPIC FAIL... Batman > Superman
  • SketchaMPM, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3There's some pretty cool alternate versions of Superman out there. 'Red Son', for example, shows an alternate-reality Superman being raised in the Soviet Union.
  • Laughto, on 04/10/2008, -1/+9"Superman operates as a servant to humanity, operating with honor and humility. Batman is a costumed vigilante with a chip on his shoulder and an adrenaline fueled death wish."
    Yeah, and which would you rather hear stories about?
    • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3The Dalai Lamma.
    • PawnsOfJoshua, on 04/10/2008, -4/+0Jesus Christ was the ultimate servant to humanity and they haven't stopped telling stories about him for 2000 years. Let me know when Batman can say that.
  • Slybri, on 04/10/2008, -7/+2If Superman sucks so much, why do I constantly see his "S" sheild logo everywhere, on cars, hats, and t-shirts?

    I think it's because Superman is basically Jesus, but with a cooler costume and powers.
    • Hiki, on 04/10/2008, -0/+5there's no denying that he's popular, but that doesn't make his character any more badass
    • SpencerMc, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1I think a more interesting article would be examining Superman as a Christ analogue. He comes from on high to save humans from themselves, he abstains from sexual congress for the sake of his mission, he's adopted by a human family. I'm pretty sure I could go on.
  • konamicode, on 04/10/2008, -3/+9Case Closed: Superman is lame.
    This post pretty much proves it.
  • Willravel, on 04/10/2008, -4/+3Whoa, who said it had to be either or with Batman and Superman? Can't they both be awesome in different ways? Besides, of all the invincible superheroes, clearly Jesus was the one who was born with his powers.
  • Bungo, on 04/10/2008, -1/+10I was gonna digg, but then you went into spewing anti-Batman sentiments. Buried for hate crimes.
  • dhvl, on 04/10/2008, -4/+5Dude you sick mother-******* son of a ****. Batman had to watch his parents DIE in front of him. And so he got REVENGE on them by saving the lives of other people by fighting crime. He doesn't let what happened to him happen to ANYONE else. "But this is all very easy if you have nothing but time and money at your disposal. For that matter, what kind of a man puts on a bat costume and jumps off of buildings to face guys with guns? A sick one''. And how the F*** can you call him a junkie. COMMON! He could Fu**** skydive for "excitment". Dude, such a comment, is unacceptable because, its inhuman, and WRONG man. I'm not saying your opinion is bull****. Everyone can have an opinion, but you cannot say such things. That will be like calling the guy who beats the rapist who raped his daughter insane.
    • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4PCP?
    • ZombieKiss, on 04/10/2008, -0/+4Cocaine's a helluva drug.
    • foofoobee, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1I want to reply back with something inflammatory, just to hear dhvl continue going off on this amusing rant.
    • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1**u** you you *u***ing ***** of ***34* *****!!!
      Go ****** a doNKeY'S anAL sPHIncTEr!


      You understand? I don't.
  • stanfy86, on 04/10/2008, -2/+5Wasnt Captain America the defender of truth, justice, and the american way????
    • nblsavage, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2and a far more interesting character than either Supes or Bats
  • BruceDude, on 04/10/2008, -3/+5Batman is a billionaire playboy. Superman got hung up on this Lois Lane chick, and then stalks her after they break up. Creepy.
  • budgetguitar, on 04/10/2008, -2/+3They didn't even go into the fact that Superman was raised as a farmboy which would shape and dictate the kind of person he will become when he gets older. Another reason Superman isn't as urban and hip as Batman.
    • cquinnd, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2Clark Kent went out and travelled the world as a young man to learn much of what he applies to being Superman. So did Bruce Wayne in his own way.
  • lyxxen, on 04/10/2008, -2/+3superman's a fag, get over it.
  • AsadM, on 04/10/2008, -1/+8Defend Superman all you want, but DON'T DISS THE BATMAN!!
  • SnowCrashv5, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3Well "the american way" has always been over-hyped and romanticized. The American way is just as much about the "good values" superman supports, as it is about aggressive wars, capitalism at all costs, slavery, genocide of the natives, moral majority holier than thou-*****-don't-stink assholes. T

    Truth? Truth is good, but come on, even superman lies. Clark Kent anyone?

    And sorry, in the comic world, and in the real world.. some people deserve to die. No justice will ever fix, rehabilitate what some people have done, and will continue to do. Sad but true.

    Oh, and one dimensional characters (and real people) suck.
  • Kruez, on 04/10/2008, -1/+3American way?? That ***** lives in Toronto!
  • freezerburn666, on 04/10/2008, -4/+2american way? i could care less. but he does always stand for whats right and has strong moral values. superman is my favorite superhero. even though batman looks more appealing, and is darker, which is cool, he just can't match superman's strength and abilities. superman is the ultimate "good guy" or the boy scout of superheros, and thats what makes him so great.
    • rmxz, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2No - Superman fights for "The American Way" regardless of whether it's right or wrong, and regardless of whether it's against any sane moral values.

      As evidence - consider how often Superman covers were used with the vilest racist propaganda the US produced http://www.superdickery.com/propaganda/1.html .
  • RaiderWolf, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1He used to sucks but now he blows.
  • sorensilk, on 04/10/2008, -1/+1Care Bears FTW!
  • punkcat, on 04/10/2008, -2/+2superman is a sad case, in that he has to give up his own life for the sake of humanity.
    due to his immense powers he is forever an outsider but still devoted to saving that same group he can never really be a part of.

    there is a turmoil in his head that we are only sometimes a part of which is interesting, but for crash, bang, boom, Batman is your man.


    • SpencerMc, on 04/10/2008, -0/+1If by Crash, Bang, Boom you mean action without internal conflict, than you, sir, are sadly mistaken.
  • zomgwaffles, on 04/10/2008, -1/+4Good idea trying to prove Superman doesn't suck by bashing Batman, FAIL !
  • ryeland, on 04/10/2008, -3/+0Superman is the least lame of all superheroes. Here is a man who can hear calls for help from around the world. They never really touch on it in the movies, but imagine what superman sees in a day. Some poor kid screaming for help during a genocidal war in africa, and supes shows up. And he still manages to show some restraint and destroy the entire human race for it. Superman sees the worst of humanity all the time. A collection of humans are constantly trying to off him and he can still trust some humans. The guy could rule the world with an iron fist, but doesn't.

    No one else shows the restraint, or the commitment of superman to do what he does. To see what he sees on a daliy basis and keep doing it is crazy.
    Props to supes!
  • Gerz1219, on 04/10/2008, -0/+6The author offers a valid rebuttal to many of the anti-Superman arguments in yesterday's article, but quite possibly misunderstands Batman worse than anyone I've ever seen.

    "Batman is described as the pinnacle of human achievement, having pushed himself to the limits, studying all realms of human knowledge, being the equivalent of a surgeon with the steadiness of his hands or having the precision of a safe cracker…But this is all very easy if you have nothing but time and money at your disposal"

    "If you have money and are priveleged, you can do anything that your sick, crazy mind desires"

    Yeah, except that most rich and priveleged[sic] teenagers tend to travel around the world doing coke and banging models on their yacht. Most people with a lot of time and money would not choose to spend their adolescence and early adulthood becoming a master detective, scholar, and martial artist. Just as Superman's real virtue comes from what he *doesn't* do with his powers (i.e., pull a General Zod), Batman is to be admired precisely because it would have been so easy for him to sit around his mansion and do nothing.
  • Alkemist69, on 04/10/2008, -3/+0Did you hear the one where Superman sees Wonder Woman sprawled out seductively on a rooftop? He comes down to have his way with her ... opens his suit.... starts to have his way ... when suddenly he hears a scream!!! Wonder Woman opens her eyes ... Invisible Man? Where did you go?
  • insomniacal, on 04/10/2008, -0/+5Considering all his strength and supposed indestructibility, you'd think Superman's writers would throw him more problems and antagonists that can't be beaten through brawn alone.
    I'd like to see Superman used to explore the theme that some things power (metaphor for money) _can't_ fix.
    • OpaqueMurdock, on 04/10/2008, -0/+3Interesting, I know the writers involved with Superman have tried things like this but they always seem to cheap out to me and make him able to solve the issue with his powers eventualy.
  • Ansem, on 04/10/2008, -0/+2Thank you!
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