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How Does Your Favorite Superhero Measure Up? Hero Checklist

io9.com — And let's face it, some heroes do a better job of hitting your escapism sweet spots than others. We've put together a chart comparing the great action heroes, and seeing which ones hit most of the sweet spots of escapism

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  • fbogner, on 07/25/2008, -12/+13SSSSSSSuuuuuupppppeeeeerrrrrrmmmmmaaaaannnnnnn ;-)
  • Lucas123, on 07/25/2008, -2/+6Looks like a tie between Superman, Miles Vorkosigan, Paul Atreides and Barbarella. Just as I suspected it would be. I'm going with Barbarella.
  • fcruz1331, on 07/25/2008, -1/+43C'mon, how many people really consider Sam Witwicky and Wall*E Superheroes?
    • joegibes, on 07/26/2008, -0/+6I'd go for Optimus Prime as a superhero.
    • Justice101, on 07/26/2008, -0/+5Ellen Riply from Alien, and Juan Rico from Starship Troopers :
      This guy has a very loose definition of superhero.
    • ry4nsm1th, on 07/26/2008, -0/+5The article says hero, not superhero. The Digg submitter changed it for some stupid reason.
    • MacSuxWindozSux, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Man it says he got laid. This IS Digg.
    • tweaq, on 07/26/2008, -2/+1no Green Lantern (or Green Arrow), no digg.
    • rebirf, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Well the actual page only says "Hero", the submitter might be the only one who thinks they're super.
    • 801NvizioN, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1According to the chart he got laid.
      Any robot that gets laid is a super hero in my eyes.
  • Origin415, on 07/25/2008, -2/+29I don't believe Wall-E got laid...not yet anyway.
    And Reynolds hasn't gotten laid? His love interest was a prostitute.
  • PinkChicken, on 07/26/2008, -1/+26Dugg for calling Arthur Dent a superhero.
  • RSS14, on 07/26/2008, -10/+9I don't take Superman seriously. He is unstoppable, which makes him uninteresting, so screw him.
    • Briii, on 07/26/2008, -1/+12Kryptonite
    • suminona, on 07/26/2008, -1/+7Superman's unstoppable?

      He's vulnerable to kryptonite -- which isn't a big secret -- and makes decisions based off a predictable, almost absolute moral compass; therefore, unless the villain's intellect fails to exceed the level of a mild retard, Superman is anything but unstoppable.
    • twiztidsinz, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2Doomsday?
    • joshuagor44, on 07/26/2008, -1/+1He's just insanely strong. And keep in mind, he was the first superhero, so before DC and Marvel starting pumping out other big names, I'm sure everyone thought he was very interesting.
    • carl25, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2idiot

      3 weaknesses
      1. Magic
      2. Kryptonite
      3. Someone who is physically stronger than him (doomdsday, superboy prime, magog)
    • Parkinsons, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1I have had little contact with Superman but in 'The Dark Knight Returns' Superman almost dies.
  • SugarCoatedSalt, on 07/26/2008, -4/+9half of them I don't even know
  • theman8631, on 07/26/2008, -7/+1[Comment about how this graph proves a certain superhero is awesome]
  • Briii, on 07/26/2008, -2/+16Wall-e gets LAID!
    • tehknotte, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1:o
    • Chebsi, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3SPOILER ALERT
    • 801NvizioN, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4According to the link:
      "Gets laid" doesn't just mean your hero hooked up one time.
      Wow. Wall E > your average Digg user.
  • redxninja, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2I am jealous of these super heroes.
  • ultraJesus, on 07/26/2008, -3/+4INACCURATE! Malcolm Reynolds gets laid in the episode: "Heart of Gold"
    • jave8u, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3From ze article:
      "Gets laid" doesn't just mean your hero hooked up one time.
  • SeventhSon, on 07/26/2008, -1/+18Dugg for Ender.
    • Blakestone, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Agreed.
    • teh_spazz, on 07/26/2008, -2/+2They should have made his "Get's Laid" an NA. He's too young!
      • busterti, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2finish the series...
      • TheUnlearn, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3there are two other books in which he gets/is married and presumably gets laid. He also becomes insanely rich from the interests on his military pay that is accumulated over roughly 3000 years. But i don't recall any super powers he was just a really good tactician.
      • leontes, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4I think having versions of his brother and sister sprout from his mind when being teleported across space counts as a special power. No one else was carrying around two others inside of them when they jumped.
      • CM23099, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1I'm so glad that I stopped reading after the first book.
      • bagboyrebel, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1@ TheUlearn
        there were three other books not two. Speaker for the dead, Xenocide, and Children of the Mind.
      • TheUnlearn, on 07/26/2008, -0/+0bagboyrebel:
        this i know however, in the final book his wife has joined "the children of the mind of christ" and taken a vow of celibacy so mentioning that book as an example of him getting laid doesn't make sense.
    • jexdawg, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2What are Ender Wiggin's supernatural powers? Being really smart? Kicking ass in alien space war-sim games? Also, he doesn't become a god or a king... he becomes a recluse and a "speaker for the dead".
      • TedTschopp, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2His ability to be the only person (outside of maybe Bean) to defeat the buggers.

        He is also the only person who has contact the Buggers after he defeats them. So he is their King, and their new Queen is one of his "children"

        As for getting laid, he did have a family right?

        Also, he is very wealthy.... His AI invested his money he recieved for his service to the government. Also I think Peter made sure he and his sister were taken care of in the end.

      • nmcphee, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1It wasn't just him and bean, there was an entire jeesh.

        And let's not forget that whole -other- invasion that Mazer Rackham defeated the buggers in.
      • Disgod, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1He becomes governor of the first colony where he finds the Hive Queen if I remember correctly which is close to king
    • RenaChan, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2Needs more Bean.
  • xyzhuntr, on 07/26/2008, -2/+4Not to mention Ironman with Superhuman Power? When did Superman become Insanely Wealthy? Someone correct me, Please!
    • fasda, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Iron man upgraded himself with extremis
      • cielo23, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that.....I have that comic too.
    • hardwareguy, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Superman has the fortress, containing remnants of a civilization far more advanced.
      Add his mad diamond making skills to that and he is wealthy.
  • h4mx0r, on 07/26/2008, -1/+1I never realized Jack O Neill was so closely related to Malcom Reynolds. Kickin Rad!

    Too bad Ellen Ripley doesn't really measure up.
  • tehknotte, on 07/26/2008, -3/+1If you're going to analyze superheroes this much and how they make you "feel", why bother with them in the end.
  • Tyrghast, on 07/26/2008, -2/+12Buried for claiming that James T. Kirk doesn't have superpowers.

    And even though Superman and Paul Atreides have the same score, I'm sure Paul could make Superman cry like a baby.
  • purplesawdust, on 07/26/2008, -2/+3Dugg for including Arthur Dent
  • mediaspree, on 07/26/2008, -2/+4sucks on 1024x768... i forgot what the categories were as I scrolled down the list.
    • diggdiggerid, on 07/26/2008, -0/+6ugh, i know, it sucks in 320x240.
      • MavRevMatt, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Welcome to... 1980?
      • DaHuuuuuudge, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2You guys are lucky. I just have a lamp that flashes the color of each pixel, one-by-one.
  • Labyrinth336, on 07/26/2008, -6/+1WHAT! No Al Simmons / SPAWN ?!?! This is no list!
  • krnldmp, on 07/26/2008, -3/+2I'm completely sick of the new "super hero" fad.
    • TheMachine1, on 07/26/2008, -3/+1The insanity of the world naturally has people slipping into more fantasy to cope.
      • Polly, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4Not really. Just another digg trend cycle that'll be gone in a couple weeks when they find something else to ooh and ahh over.

        DARK NIGHT WOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  • CAisBacK, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Dugg for Wall-E getting laid and Superman being the winner...
    • erichansenchao, on 07/26/2008, -0/+0Congrats for Neo and Superman but WTF Wall-E getting laid? by who? i mean Wall-E may look kind and gentle but underneath its actually a twisted sex fiend
  • avisotin, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2No Frank Castle? Buried. And if you seriously think O'Neal is a superhero... you need to stay in more and watch more movies.
    • Rocksea24, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1If you DON'T think Jack O'Neal is a superhero you should watch more Stargate SG-1.
  • i4mt3hwin, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Gordon Freeman = win.
  • Bamont, on 07/26/2008, -0/+6Dugg for clever and cool icons.
  • raw10, on 07/26/2008, -1/+3You're an über-nerd if you actually recognize most of these. Miles Vorkosigan? Ender Wiggin? But dugg for stretching the boundaries of what defines a superhero. I kinda like it.
    • eohano, on 07/26/2008, -2/+1 Knowing who Ender Wiggin is doesn't mean you're a nerd. It means that there's still a possibility of you NOT failing at life completely.
    • brainboy77, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Knowing who Ender Wiggin is means you read books.
  • Spliced88, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3I don't care why kind of powers my superhero would have, as long as she's as hot as Hayden Panettiere
  • LostinService, on 07/26/2008, -1/+6Batman shouldn't be up there. If TDK taught us anything its that "he's not a hero,
    he's a silent guardian, a watchful protector, a dark knight."
    • brainboy77, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Technically he's a hero, "not the one that Gotham deserves, but the hero Gotham needs."
  • xtal3, on 07/26/2008, -2/+2What the hell, all these people and no John McClane, or Hauser from Total Recall

    Bleh, dugg anyway.
    • brainboy77, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1hayden pannettiere is hot, but is no way a real hero. john mcclane, on the other hand, is the ultimate badass.
  • Dimalinch, on 07/26/2008, -0/+6Wouldn't the force be considered a super power?
  • leladax, on 07/26/2008, -2/+1Superman is a celebration of the superiority complex of the average sad person; as most superheroes.

    Batman is the rape of the Rule of Law in the name of "justice", just like Georgy W. Bush.
  • spookyttws, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Dugg for Starship troopers.

    And, (take this with a grain of salt, I've read only more mainstream series i.e. Civil War, Secret Invasion, Ultimates etc..) But how does Iron Man have super powers? Sure he's extremely intelligent, and built 5 (or so, depending on what comic) Super Suits, but that's not a super power. Is it?
  • Saulidus, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1'Not tied down' should be marked for Spidey after the recent One More Day arc
  • VinnieDaMac, on 07/26/2008, -1/+1Jack Shepherd is considered a superhero? Honestly, that list was pretty lame.
    • Hoogs, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2"We've put together a chart comparing the great ACTION heroes..."

      Even so, he's still no "action hero". Jack Bauer should've made the list instead.
      • VinnieDaMac, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2To be fair, the title of the digg article said Superhero.
      • Hoogs, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Fair enough.
      • romeyinfc, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Dammit, Jack Bauer is still a super hero, more than Luke Skywalker
  • Ageroth, on 07/26/2008, -1/+2Reynolds does get laid, in Heart of Gold.
  • Mongoose, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1I love how the symbol for Ellen Ripley is the Wayland-Yutani logo.
  • Exbzurq, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Um, assuming they mean the Doctor from Doctor Who, I'm sure he gets laid. Also he should have marked for greatness, as he is a ***** Time Lord.
    • starf, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2True. He does start off the original series with his granddaughter.
      Although I suppose her mother or father could have been born through artificial means.
    • fasda, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1and since the new series started the only time lord out side of the the jenny (remember time lords only have titles not names) and possibly the rani and the master.
  • Ageroth, on 07/26/2008, -2/+2well... Rule 34 does demand it
  • jave8u, on 07/26/2008, -3/+1Dugg for Jack Shephard from Lost being recognized as a superhero! :)
    • Ratteler, on 07/26/2008, -2/+1I think they meant Shepard from Stargate Atlantis, but I could be wrong.
  • rmeddy, on 07/26/2008, -1/+8Dugg for Paul Atriedies and Jack Oneil.
  • leontes, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1If I had to pick. I'd want to have the doctor in my corner. That dude is ***** powerful, yo.
  • Needles13, on 07/26/2008, -0/+2Where's Super King?
    • goblindegook, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Ah, Super King, the best one of all.
  • Aurabolt, on 07/26/2008, -2/+2Superman is underrated!
  • CrimsonBlur, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3Before more people complain about this, note that the title is inaccurate. This is a list of heroes, not superheroes. The superheroes are only identified in the list by having superhuman powers.
  • HanSolo69, on 07/26/2008, -2/+5Traditionally, Batman isn't "tied down," Iron Man doesn't have superhuman powers, Superman isn't insanely wealthy, Yorick Brown is basically tied down, that's one of the main plot points of the whole story.
    This chart blows.
  • SoullessPoet, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1They should do a villain version.
  • Zzone, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4Sam Witwicky does not get laid, he practically begged for pussy!
  • fuzzynyanko, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Some form of "really messed up mentally" should be on there
  • hermslice, on 07/26/2008, -0/+3wait superman is rich??
  • Krodis, on 07/26/2008, -2/+0Just a few tidbits:

    James Bond would qualify for 6 out of the 9, missing out on Insanely Wealthy, Superhuman Powers, and becomes a god or king.

    King Arthur would qualify for 7, missing superhuman powers and not tied down. Excalibur is close enough to a cool gadget for me.

    Thrall would qualify for 8, assuming he gets laid. I'd have to assume he does. Missing cool gadgets.

    However, I don't think it would be too big of a stretch to say Link from LoZ would qualify for all of the categories. Go Link Go.
  • dkmccue, on 07/26/2008, -0/+4Paul Atreides listed as super hero? Totally dugg for that alone!
    • nascentia, on 07/26/2008, -0/+1Definitely. And hey, his jihad DID kill 64 billion people! Go Feydakin!
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