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Why I Took This Crummy Newsweek Job (by Stephen Colbert)

newsweek.com — No, your eyes aren't deceiving you. You're reading Stephen Colbert. And for that I apologize. The last thing I want is to contribute to the corrosive influence of the print media. I prefer to yell my opinions at you in person.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jun 8, 2009

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  • Quicksilver4648, on 06/08/2009, -3/+200Dugg for the second page consisting of only two sentences.
  • jezsik, on 06/08/2009, -4/+150Best Newsweek editorial EVER.
  • sparkplug890, on 06/08/2009, -10/+143Using an entirely separate page for two lines of text? c'mon Newsweek.
  • chriswastaken, on 10/27/2009, -1/+130FTA: " And by August of next year we'll withdraw every single one of our troops, leaving behind only memories and 50,000 troops."

    That definitely reads like Stephen Colbert.
  • Amlethus, on 06/08/2009, -2/+124We've reached a sad and wonderful time when the comedian news anchors are more informative and honest than most major network news anchors.
  • dagnabbit, on 06/08/2009, -0/+121Behind all the jokes, this issue actually sounds pretty good. They should let the fake newsman do the real editing more often.
  • buu2, on 06/08/2009, -2/+93Stephen Colbert is one of the few comedians that is incredible in any media
  • PxCxG, on 06/08/2009, -4/+87"I just figured the insurgents were wiped out because they were heavily invested in Lehman Brothers"

    Classic!
  • ModX, on 06/08/2009, -5/+76The fact that Conservatives take him seriously boggles my mind. The sarcasm is just dripping off my monitor.
  • MondayJBlack, on 06/08/2009, -0/+71Good move of the part of Newsweek.

    Step 1: Hate on Oprah
    Step 2: Love Colbert
    Step 3: Profit! (or, more like, new demographic!)
  • kevincredible, on 06/08/2009, -0/+67He does the same thing at the end of every one of his shows after all.
  • snagglefoof, on 06/08/2009, -0/+64Maybe that was Colbert's idea.
  • DaveAtDigital, on 06/09/2009, -1/+61Anyone else read this in Colbert's voice ?
  • SirVenro, on 06/08/2009, -1/+57Dugg for truthiness.
  • absentmindedjwc, on 06/08/2009, -0/+38you should really get that checked out
  • TheDudeDean, on 09/13/2009, -1/+37Have someone shout it at you. LOL
  • nicodemus26, on 06/08/2009, -1/+36I read it yelling at myself in my head. It was very good.
  • diemunkiesdie, on 06/08/2009, -2/+28Think of the printing costs!

    /s
  • Memitim, on 06/08/2009, -1/+24Even in the heydays of the Roman Empire, it was the fool that was the most informative and honest. As a bonus, the comedy has improved.
  • wpc33, on 06/09/2009, -0/+22I read everything in Colbert's voice.
  • Memitim, on 06/08/2009, -0/+21He didn't sell out, he bought in!
  • nathanbutnet, on 06/08/2009, -1/+20Kudos to Stephen Colbert for truly supporting the troops in so many ways including, but not limited to, shaving his head. He is a great American.
  • lostczech, on 06/08/2009, -1/+19yes
  • holzp, on 06/08/2009, -2/+20Newsweek really has a staffer named Opus? I thought that name was retired like Homer, Archie, Kermit and Adolf.
  • thesonofdarwin, on 06/08/2009, -1/+19It's because if conservative media personalities had any integrity, Colbert is what they'd sound like. They'd spew their hyperbole and misinformation as usual, but then they'd correct the aforementioned hyperbole with the truth. Colbert is funny not in his hyperbole, but in his presentation of facts. If telling the truth was the norm in conservative television Colbert would be out of a job.
  • deetank, on 06/09/2009, -0/+17I love how reading Colbert is exactly like watching Colbert.
    If any of you haven't read his book yet, get on that.
  • scotchw, on 06/08/2009, -0/+17"Next Page" has one sentence?
  • Ecuno, on 06/08/2009, -1/+18Are you upset because you are to ignorant to get what he is saying? Or because you're a republican finding out that he is a character that slams you night after night?
  • Memitim, on 06/08/2009, -0/+16When in reaction to Colbert, it's a feature, not a bug.
  • contradictator, on 06/08/2009, -1/+16When I read it, the voice in my head saying the words sounded like him.

    So yes, it was definitely him.
  • yigmaw, on 06/08/2009, -1/+15Hey, shut up.
  • piieerrrree, on 06/08/2009, -0/+14You were yelling in my head, Stephen <3
  • Jektal, on 06/08/2009, -2/+12The Colbert Report does have a -team- of writers, ya know...
  • inactive, on 06/09/2009, -0/+10I agree with the letter from Sir Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.
  • deboerpa, on 06/09/2009, -1/+10His articles should be in caps.
  • OhGigi, on 06/09/2009, -0/+9Ditto, I even heard audience laughter at one point. Hulu is right, TV really IS rotting my brain. <laugh track>
  • kr3mliyn, on 06/09/2009, -0/+9Had to.
  • nathanbutnet, on 06/08/2009, -2/+11'Both the character Colbert (silent "t") and the real Colbert (pronounced "t"), a Catholic family man, are ardent supporters of the troops. He has raised hundreds of thousands of dollars for the Yellow Ribbon Fund (a charity that assists injured service members and their families), and he's a board member of DonorsChoose.org, which is raising money for the education of children of parents in the military.'

    Don't be afraid to look into some of the 'including' for yourself as well.
  • solboldi, on 06/08/2009, -0/+8Art has many applications.
  • inactive, on 06/09/2009, -0/+8And counting the characters is definitely something a Digger would do.
  • inactive, on 06/08/2009, -1/+8I remember stephens true punk days, recording shows in basements
  • Bamboozled, on 06/09/2009, -0/+6Surprisingly it was worth the click.
  • glberns, on 06/08/2009, -1/+7Why can't I digg this twice?
  • jezsik, on 06/09/2009, -1/+7EXCELLENT point!
  • NJSlacker, on 06/09/2009, -0/+5"it's funny because it's true" has been the comedy mantra for a LONG time.
  • joe8pack, on 06/09/2009, -0/+5Did you mean to type Rush Limbaugh, and typed Steven Colbert by mistake? Colbert is as fresh as a middle school kid on his 1st date. He's as fresh as a fresh made bed with the sunbeams dancing on it. He's as fresh as a freshman freshening his drink before he opens a fresh can of whoopass.

    Btw the Onion is not meant to be funny, it should simmer in your brain for 6-12months before all the essence can be gleaned from it.
  • stevealford, on 06/09/2009, -0/+5You really do have no idea what satire is, don't you?
  • nedev, on 06/09/2009, -0/+5The running jokes, like him hogging the applause of his guests, have gotten old. He makes up for it with lots of fresh jokes and material. Just ignore the meta-joke and enjoy the show.
  • mf2112, on 06/08/2009, -6/+11Don't sell out, Stephen!!! We love you the way you are.
  • slashdotordigg, on 06/09/2009, -0/+5Colbert should take over and CNN and turn them into Colbert Nation Network. Now that's going to worth every penny that i pay to the cable company. Everything should be written this way on news broadcast.
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