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» Why Don’t They Just Say “Fat”?

holytaco.com — You know your life already sucks when you’re on the run from the Feds. But you know it probably doesn’t get any worse when you click on CNN.com from your hideout and see that you’re also being referred to as “jowly.”

Who dugg this? Made popular Aug 7, 2008

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103 Comments

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  • liah, on 08/07/2008, -1/+72Dugg simply because I love the word "jowly." It's right up there with "portly" in the rankings of Awesome Ways to Describe Fatties.
  • ileftfark, on 08/07/2008, -5/+67"Fat" is hate speech, as is "Jewish" and "black". You have to use more roundabout euphemisms and elongated titles so as not to offend. Actually, the more vague the description, the better off you are. I'm surprised they used the word "man". Way to pigeonhole us X-chromosomally challenged humanoids.
  • shutaro, on 08/07/2008, -0/+43Tell that to Michael Jackson.
  • sockpuppets, on 08/07/2008, -1/+34You can't go on a diet and become un-black.
  • Dunnion, on 08/07/2008, -1/+33So if both my parents are "jowly" does that make me part jowlish?
  • dnields, on 08/07/2008, -0/+29I have always enjoyed the terms "rotund" or "rubenesque".
  • sockpuppets, on 08/07/2008, -0/+28No that makes you 100% Jowlish.
  • merripen, on 08/07/2008, -2/+28The constitution of the United States does not protect anyone from being called fat.

    You do NOT have the right to not be offended.

    Read that again. Remember it. Embrace it. Stop being a pussy.
  • Orsenfelt, on 08/07/2008, -0/+23Dude, I'm a fat black jew and I take offence to that!

    :P
  • borez, on 08/07/2008, -0/+22Jowly: having sagging folds of flesh beneath the chin or lower jaw

    Not necessarily fat.

  • Jowsley, on 08/07/2008, -0/+18I AM NOT on the run from the Feds!!!
  • sdellboy, on 08/07/2008, -0/+15You jowly bastard!
    You jowly bastard!
    You jowly bastard!

    Yeah...just doesn't have the same ring from the football terraces.
  • Typhoon2009, on 08/07/2008, -0/+15Rubenesque eh? I'll have to try that.
  • Hnnnnnghhh, on 08/07/2008, -0/+14I always preferred the term "Fat *****", too PC?
  • krnldmp, on 08/07/2008, -1/+14Jowly is the best.
  • ghostfaceDX, on 08/07/2008, -0/+12If there was ever a reason to say 'F that' to the afterlife and haunt someone to insanity, it's being killed by a jowly man.
  • barcelona10, on 08/07/2008, -0/+12hahaha... oh... I might have to use that word today.
  • WhoPharted, on 08/07/2008, -0/+11I am fat... and I find it much more annoying when people refer to me as "husky, stocky, chubby" (or in this case jowly)... just a fat man's two cents.
  • Albumen, on 08/07/2008, -2/+13"Jewish" and "Black" are only considered hate speach by bigots and racists..

    WTF?
  • Torley, on 08/07/2008, -0/+10You know how animal groups often have intriguing plurals? Like a "murder of crows"?

    Well, this is a multiplication of chins!
  • fadetoone, on 08/07/2008, -4/+14Jowly != Fat

    My friend's pit bull has huge jowls and he's quite lean.
  • ultrafez, on 08/07/2008, -0/+9Exactly, what are we supposed to say people are - tinted?
  • ErickStevenson, on 08/07/2008, -1/+10People are going over board with being PC... if you look Fat then your Fat, its a description of a fact... How come noone is offended when they say someone is skinny? It's the same thing... if your 300+ of Fatty tissues, and not muscle, then your fat.
  • psylemon, on 08/07/2008, -0/+8i really don't think any of these words are hate speech.

    I'm going to go color with my black crayon. I ***** hate that thing.
    I'm going to go pick up my fat paycheck. ***** thing sucks.
  • shutaro, on 08/07/2008, -5/+13Fat is not the preferred nomenclature, dude...
  • jstem1994, on 08/07/2008, -1/+8Maybe it's a misspelling. Be on the look-out for that jolly old St Nick!
    (Sorry, long day. It's all I got.)
  • FDL1, on 08/07/2008, -0/+7You know, I've always liked that word...”gargantuan"... so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence.
  • Albumen, on 08/07/2008, -0/+6If you're not completely jowly, you're jowl-ish
  • inactive, on 08/07/2008, -0/+6Letterman always used to call Bill Clinton tubby.
  • ChesapeakeBaybe, on 08/07/2008, -2/+8Actually I don't believe fat is not a protected class under the law. True story: I did a short stink in government work. There was this "jowly" guy who used to snore so loudly he disrupted the other cubicle dwellers. A supervisor wrote a disciplinary action. He immediately called the union rep and filed a counter complaint asserting that he was being picked on because he was fat. Because fat is not a protected class under the law, they eventually had to add Jewish to the complaint. In the end chubby was given his own private office and ordered to keep the door shut. Your tax dollars at work.
  • cam0man, on 08/07/2008, -0/+5you actually have a finite amount of fat cells, they just swell to make you fat.
  • sockpuppets, on 08/08/2008, -0/+5Caucasianly challenged.
  • gasoline, on 08/07/2008, -0/+5No, it's Rubens, a painter.
  • mangosinslo, on 08/07/2008, -0/+5So a double or triple chin?
  • Virgule, on 08/07/2008, -0/+5Jowly:
    jowl |joul|
    noun (often jowls)
    the lower part of a person's or animal's cheek, esp. when it is fleshy or drooping : she had a large nose and heavy jowls.
    • the cheek of a pig used as meat.
    • the loose fleshy part of the neck of certain animals, such as the dewlap of cattle or the wattle of birds.
    DERIVATIVES
    jowled |dʒaʊld| adjective [in combination ] : ruddy-jowled.
    jowly |ˈdʒaʊli| adjective
    ORIGIN Old English ceole (related to German Kehle ‘throat, gullet’ ), partly merged with Old English ceafl [jaw] (related to Dutch kevels ‘cheekbones’ ).
  • shutaro, on 08/07/2008, -1/+6In all fairness, dude, it could be a cake addiction... You don't know.
  • shutaro, on 08/08/2008, -0/+4@CosmicJustice: Hey, a lot of people go to college for 7 years!
  • Aaronontheweb, on 08/07/2008, -0/+4I've always thought that the correct scientific term for fat a person was "oversized organic triglyceride vessel"
  • mustang460, on 08/07/2008, -2/+6@anaxa

    jews are an ethnic group of people, their religion is Judaism

    you can be a jew and atheist for example as jew can describe both ethnicity and religion
  • Kenzan, on 08/07/2008, -1/+5"Jabba the Hut" pretty much says it all in my book.
  • NexusV2, on 08/07/2008, -0/+3Classic!
  • shutaro, on 08/07/2008, -1/+4Rubenesque? As in resembling the sandwich? Or former Texas Ranger's slugger Ruben Sierra?
  • pappyblueribs, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3You're a little bit too subtle, it appears. I thought it was pretty funny.

    p.s. I hope you're not offended by the word "subtle". Since I am subtle also, I'm allowed to use the word.
  • CosmicJustice, on 08/07/2008, -0/+3YOU'RE! Damn it, it's you're. Contraction of "you are."
  • tech42er, on 08/08/2008, -1/+4Wow, you're a real prick. It's one thing to not be politically correct, but to go out of your way to be a douche? ***** you, man.
  • Depravo, on 08/07/2008, -0/+3Is it now acceptable to use the term 'N Word'?
  • tech42er, on 08/08/2008, -0/+3Only if your mother is jowlish.
  • anaxa, on 08/07/2008, -2/+4You can't change your religion anymore?
  • SixOrSoPapers, on 08/07/2008, -1/+3Rotund!
  • 0x0000ff, on 08/08/2008, -0/+2I love you.
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