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Waitstaff Tired Of Sleeping With Each Other

theonion.com — MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA —After years on the job, members of the Manilla Grill waitstaff reported Monday that they are tired of having sex with each other.

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  • alapoet, on 08/04/2008, -3/+20Time to make some new hires.
  • DaveClarkOne, on 08/04/2008, -27/+6If I want to read satire, I'll pull up the Onion. Buried
  • Ozzsanity, on 08/04/2008, -28/+9I have never seen anything from The Onion that was funny.
    • itsthebrod, on 08/04/2008, -5/+11Perhaps they should throw in more fart jokes and "you know you're a redneck when..." lines so you'll feel more at home.
  • RegalGSX, on 08/04/2008, -3/+25The Onion articles make me cry now, kind of like real onions.
    • NJank, on 08/04/2008, -9/+3bury 'lame', people. that's why the button is there.
    • Abatrour, on 08/04/2008, -9/+4I wish the onion website would be banned from digg forever. I bury every onion article as SPAM!
      This site is supposed to be about REAL news, not MADE UP news... but I guess that would mean no more CNN also :P
      • Origin415, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3Then take off everything but World & Business/*News in your settings if thats what you want.
  • Apocalyptic0n3, on 08/04/2008, -17/+30Why is it that so many Onion articles make it to the front page? http://digg.com/news should not have completely false, satirical articles on it. It's ridiculous.
    • chaos7, on 08/04/2008, -4/+20i so agree. fake news should not be mixed in with real news.
      • uruururr, on 08/04/2008, -11/+8why so serious?
      • enclaved, on 08/04/2008, -6/+5boohooboohoooooooo theonion got in my digg again. I hate onions. waawawaaaaaaa
    • FlyingPhotog, on 08/04/2008, -7/+29Because some of us are tired of "The Dark Knight" and iPhone fanboy articles.
      • Apocalyptic0n3, on 08/04/2008, -9/+6I am tired of both too. But... The Onion? Seriously? It's garbage. Stuff like this is not news and should not be submitted to a site like Digg. Anyone want to make a GreaseMonkey script that will block all Onion articles on Digg?
      • Namco, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5News you say... hang on let me check which section this got submitted to... well the URL says "http://digg.com/comedy/Waitstaff_Tired_Of_Sleeping ...", so it appears to be under comedy by looking at the URL. Next let's check the breadcrumbs as web designers like to call them.... hmmm. It reads "All » Offbeat » Comedy". Wow, That's strike two. Doesn't look like it's submitted under news so far. Finally let's check the tabs. They say Popular > News > Offbeat. Well, it does say news there, but that's more of an ambiguious description of any link that isn't a video, image, or podcast.

        So my conclusion, quit your bitching and filter the offbeat news or comdey from your profile. Click on your profile link and go look for it.
      • dragon76, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2If people on Digg did not want to read Onion articles, it would not have ended up on the front page. As of my posting 427 people dugg it. So at the very least, 427 people wanted to read an article from The Onion. The bury feature is there for the community to vote. Use it.
      • Origin415, on 08/04/2008, -2/+1Go to your settings and take off Offbeat/Comedy if you don't want to see it.
    • revjustin2, on 08/04/2008, -3/+14I believe your brain comes pre-installed with an Onion-filter extension. When you look at a submission, be on the look-out for "theonion.com" and then don't read the article. It works pretty well and can be customized to work for other digg submissions.
      • lordthor, on 08/04/2008, -2/+2revjustin2:
        +1 internets to you, sir
      • Peko, on 08/04/2008, -0/+3My higher brain function extensions don't always work. They are in conflict with the drunk extension. I'm also experiencing occasional "between chair and keyboard errors".

        This article was written for me.
    • mithrasinvictus, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5Its in the comedy section. You can turn that off in your preferences if you want.
      profile->settings->customize topics
  • libertao, on 08/04/2008, -5/+48An onion article from 2005? Really?
    • Aaronontheweb, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2Man... I already own the book that contains this article. Let me go back and submit the "Clinton Deploys Vowels to Bosnia" article while I'm at it.
      • saisumimen, on 08/04/2008, -1/+1Please don't. Don't encourage the habitual dupers.
    • BossKey, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1I loved this article, but to see it show up today is like WTF, time machine?
    • DragoonWraith, on 08/04/2008, -0/+0That was my thought when I saw it. I saw this article back when it was in print (yes, the Onion gets printed, it's not just a website), and that had to be in high school since the printed version isn't available where I go to college.
  • mattcarreiro, on 08/04/2008, -2/+9this is ridiculously old. i have one of the onion books from a couple years ago and this is in it.
  • Sandboy76, on 08/04/2008, -7/+3What a world without morality!
    • tidu, on 08/04/2008, -2/+1hey puritan, go back to your.. butterscotch mills and fancy looms with your missionary *****
  • richbleak, on 08/04/2008, -12/+8Who are these people that want to read every Onion article? Half of them, like this one, are lame as *****. Every once in a while they will have something that is smart about politics, but even then the joke should be half as long.
    • Gryffydd, on 08/04/2008, -1/+1You must never have worked as a waiter. If you have this is hilarious.
  • mogawowo, on 08/04/2008, -7/+2I'm sure the onion must hire a bunch of indians to digg this crap!
  • Crath, on 08/04/2008, -1/+13i didn't realize it was from the onion until after i read it

    i was getting excited about going into the work force
    • mrjit, on 08/04/2008, -1/+8I don't get your point.. it's satirical, yes, but the entire point of it's humor is poking fun at the fact that wait-staff of restaurants typically HAVE slept with each other over and over.
      • mrlost117, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1and it was alllllllllllllll gooooooooood /waiter
  • spillwater, on 08/04/2008, -1/+8that title smelled like an onion
  • Enkairi, on 08/04/2008, -8/+3Seriously an Onion article on front page?
  • AJKenny84, on 08/04/2008, -1/+4I was hoping that this was going to be an actual news report...
  • jeremyduffy, on 08/04/2008, -3/+2I assume this is supposed to be funny for some reason, but I'm not seeing it. Is this related to some old news story or something or is it completely random?
  • doctordbx, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5The Onion was funny when you didn't anticipate it being The Onion.

    Now, whenever there's a semi offbeat headline, I check the URL first and sure enough...
  • rex84, on 08/04/2008, -0/+17I'd never grow tired of sleeping with that Asian chick.
    • iPood, on 08/04/2008, -0/+5Sleep with her all you want...i wanna ***** her.
      • rex84, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2Hey, if I go through all the pins and needles in my arms, and the hot, sweaty cuddling; I'd better get to ***** too.
    • byobyob, on 08/04/2008, -1/+0*goes back to check out the asian chick*

      Hey, what are you looking at? I was just looking for some... I mean... RAAAR GET THEIS ONION CRAP OFF MY DIGG RAAAR!
  • mlvassallo, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2I love the onion.
  • CrazyDEX, on 08/04/2008, -2/+4Onion article from 2005? really?
  • tinkafoo, on 08/04/2008, -2/+4Quit your bitchin, The Onion is awesome.
  • Jmorris5ten, on 08/04/2008, -4/+1Jan 19, 2005
  • PrinceMissile, on 08/04/2008, -2/+4I'd totally bang the asian chick.
  • TheGibson, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2Seriously. Old as Service Pack 2. Come on.
    • Typhoon2009, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2I think SP2 is a bit older, actually. Came out in 2004.
  • dlm85, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1I think this story may be true. There seems to be a lot of this going on at the bar I go to.
  • RideDaMountain, on 08/04/2008, -1/+6What a dumbass article, who diggs this *****?
  • fuckingusername, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2 wow this site turned into the National Enquirer
  • jamieb122, on 08/04/2008, -8/+3....................../´¯/)
    ....................,/¯../
    .................../..../
    ............./´¯/'...'/´¯¯`·¸
    ........../'/.../..../......./¨¯
    ........('(...´...´.... ¯~/'...')
    ..........................'...../
    ..........''............. _.·´
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    ..............................
    The Onion
  • Kenzan, on 08/04/2008, -0/+2I don't get it.
    Restaurant staff members regularly have sexual relations with one another?
    Is that the joke?
  • livbit, on 08/04/2008, -1/+2absolute bullsh*t...junk 'made of' news....
  • jkasquires, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1jesus stop with the onion posts. they suck.
    • PimpinOnWelfare, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1Don't bring the tooth fairy into this, you suck.
  • acroyear2, on 08/04/2008, -1/+1onion onion onion
  • Porfidio, on 08/04/2008, -2/+0I used to work at a strip club in the Caribbean...at least there people were worth having sex with!

    www.caribbeanstripclub.com

    "Caribbean Dreams: True Story of an Ivy League Couple who Bought a STRIP CLUB in the Caribbean"
  • JPollet85, on 08/04/2008, -0/+1The Onion is cool enough, but I didn't even notice how old the article was. If you've ever worked in restaurants you have to Digg this because it's ridiculously true. Restaurants are like low paying swingers clubs with bad music and slightly less cocaine(only slightly). And if you're not sleeping with someone from your restaurant then you're sleeping with someone from the restaurant across the street that you met out drinking. Servers are an incestuous bunch, it's good to be the bartender.
  • Inaktivist, on 08/05/2008, -0/+0Haha... I clicked this link in a "wtf could this be" moment; in the same moment I realized this could only be Onion's doing.
  • wtanut, on 08/05/2008, -0/+0Ridicoulous.....Everyone knows the restaurant business is riddled with homosexuality.
  • DanH, on 08/05/2008, -0/+1why are onion articles from 2005 making it on the front page?
  •  

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