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Vatican Buys Palm for $800 Million

gizmodo.com — ROME (Agencies) - The Vatican has bought Palm Inc in a $800-million cash, stock, and souls deal, a move that analysts are calling a bold bid to reconvert the Catholic Church into the number one mobile operator for communication with God. The purchase is the culmination of Pope Benedict XVI's new push into the mobile arena.

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maxthreepwood 53 days ago, made popular 53 days ago

304 diggs
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deliciouspoison, on 05/12/2008, -15/+37This has got to be a hoax...
- yokozuka, on 05/12/2008, -1/+9Yeah! I know something was up when it was filed under " All » Offbeat » Comedy " :-)
- maxthreepwood, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8Palm shareholders wish it wasn't
- RanIntoTheDevil, on 05/12/2008, -0/+17I was kinda tipped off by the whole "fakemodo" thing. That and the end where it says its all fake. I could be wrong though.
- santaliqueur, on 05/12/2008, -0/+11No, a hoax fools lots of people, not just idiots. This is called a "joke".
- jkizzle, on 05/12/2008, -0/+3sometimes actually reading the article helps.
- sailadayaway, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2"NOTE: In case you are wondering, this is all fake—although Palm shareholders may be wishing the contrary."
- CrazedLeper, on 05/12/2008, -3/+3No more so than the catholic church, itself.
FonixDunMeGood, on 05/12/2008, -2/+59Text Message Prayer, the new craze.

"4giv me lord 4 i hav sin'd"
- Denneval, on 05/12/2008, -1/+9"Lvtcus 4:3 LOL"
- mklopez, on 05/12/2008, -1/+12"We're sorry, the customer you're trying to reach is outside our service area"
JoeLeo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+20How can this be fake when the last sentence says: NOTE: In case you are wondering, this is all fake—although Palm shareholders may be wishing the contrary.
- antonyphillips, on 05/12/2008, -0/+4That last sentence must be fake.
- consoneo, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1"Fakemodo: Vatican Buys Palm for $800 Million." kinda gave it for me.. the whole "fake" part.
Denneval, on 05/12/2008, -0/+25Google Buys Vatican for $3.6Q; Now Supporting 'Confessional Caching'
- kingmanic, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1My confessions do seem to be repetitive.
  "forgive me father for I have sinned, I have touched myself inappropriately rather a lot...."
  I'm sure Digg can relate.
darkchild82, on 05/12/2008, -1/+76I was expecting this story to be from 'The Onion'
- diggerdong, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Me too...then I read it was from Gizmodo, and I thought I might have misread that as Gizmondo.
ricamon, on 05/12/2008, -4/+14Looks like I'll be sticking with Engadet for actual gadget news.
- maxthreepwood, on 05/12/2008, -7/+4You mean "for actual regurgitated marketing press releases". Yeah. Do that.
  - ricamon, on 05/12/2008, -1/+8Better than reading actual made up crap!
    - maxthreepwood, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1If you are a sad person with no life, yeah.
BarbaraKolbe, on 05/12/2008, -1/+5Not even *my* beloved Pope Benedict XVI could save Palm now. Sad really. I loved me my Palm... ;(
- blakeage, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2There's just no need for that love anymore : ). Sometimes we just fall out of love, it is the natural state of things. Good thing is, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Best of luck in finding a new love : )
- davidlow, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2I was a Palm zealot. I had many models since 1995.
  BUT THEN...
  
  1. Graffiti was dropped in favor of the inferior Graffiti 2.
  2. Rated battery life went from 3 months to 3 days.
  3. Palm Desktop stagnated.
  4. Hotsync went from rock solid to flaky.
  5. HandEra chose not to market their superior software to consumers anymore.
  6. Palm Desktop for Mac was abandoned.
  7. Core Palm features were compromised to accommodate a false need for multimedia.
  8. The Treo was released with a Windows based OS, demonstrating Palm's lack of confidence in itself.
  9. I bought an iPhone.
withremote, on 05/12/2008, -7/+1no frickin' way.
suzywang3000, on 05/12/2008, -14/+5I think I hate the Pope more than I hate anyone else... even the last Pope.
- santaliqueur, on 05/12/2008, -0/+8Nobody cares who you hate.
- CrazedLeper, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2Agreed. He rules an army of pedophiles and the people still want to believe that he is associated with God in some way. That has to be the epitome of stupid.
zephyr42, on 05/12/2008, -3/+3from: Fakemodo...
dxprog, on 05/12/2008, -1/+6This is something I'd expect out of the Onion, not gizmodo.
sockpuppets, on 05/12/2008, -2/+5The waterproof version is good for shower confessionals. It's tentatively called "pope on a rope."
- MadEnvoy, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Don't drop the pope...
vodkataime, on 05/12/2008, -2/+2Dugg for ""Besides, we have to stop the Anti-Christ. Yes, you know who I'm talking about. The one with the black turtleneck and his false JesusPhone."
- Enochrewt, on 05/12/2008, -0/+0That man is looking towards the long awaited roll out of the iStormtrooper armor before he dons his full Darth Vader suit.
xoticpt, on 05/12/2008, -3/+1the breadcrumb on the site even says FAKEMODO
seastobble, on 05/12/2008, -1/+9gizmodo=the onion?
HaSatan, on 05/12/2008, -7/+4lol stupid Church, God uses an iPhone.
- webcrumb, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1That would be a GPhone.
  
  And before you complain, I'm pretty sure He gets prior art.
nynexla, on 05/12/2008, -3/+3Read the title of the page. Fakemodo.

And adding gaussian noise always makes the photoshop image look more realisitic. NOT
- masbestiaquetu, on 05/12/2008, -3/+1shut up
- nynexla, on 05/12/2008, -0/+0make me. masbestiaquetu. what does that mean? you masterbate to cute animals?
imightbewrong, on 05/12/2008, -1/+4just in case you didn't realize this is a joke
888gavin, on 05/12/2008, -6/+1Fake news doesn't belong in Digg.
bcamp1973, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2kind of like an onion article, just not nearly as funny...yawn...
mojoel, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2"NOTE: In case you are wondering, this is all fake—although Palm shareholders may be wishing the contrary."
jerrycurley, on 05/12/2008, -1/+3This has the be the lamest attempt at humor ever.

yet another area that Gizmodo's has failed at.
SkippyDoorknob, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1Is it April Fools day again?
muniak, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2"God was unavailable for comment."
shroominbal, on 05/12/2008, -2/+3the head of the jew community came to visit the pope he saw a palm device on his table and asked him what it is. the pope says its phone to god. let me see ask the Rabbi and the pope indeed let him. after 10 sec of whisper into the device the Rabbi admits: yes it is god there talking to me.
how much for the call? the pope say: oh about 20,000 , so the Rabbi pay and go.
Next year the Rabbi has birthday in Jerusalem the pope comes to visit see a palm device on the table and ask: what is that? oh thats to talk with god says the Rabbi.
the pope ask to check and he get to check as well. After admitting it is indeed god on the other side of the line he ask: how much for the call? Oh thats for free, says the Rabbi, we don't charge for local calls.
- InfinitySnatch, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Your grammar is the real joke here.
TheG2, on 05/12/2008, -4/+1I personally think the Vatican should purchase this site, they'd make millions.

NSFW: http://www.divine-interventions.com/
jefuchs, on 05/12/2008, -1/+5Palm Sunday will never be the same.
jeebus, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2Pope Benedict XVI was quoted saying.
"Who's got the Jesus phone now, Apple?"
kurtwinter, on 05/12/2008, -2/+1Okay, not funny.
ElecBoy, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1God was unavailable for comment. WTF? lol
Makurosu, on 05/12/2008, -1/+1I'm holding out for the Mormon church to buy the Nokia N8x0 series.
isiz, on 05/12/2008, -2/+1What the ***** is wrong with the vatican? I mean come on.
Typhoon2009, on 05/12/2008, -1/+2"Palm is dead."
Diggs to whoever gets the reference...
dragoonkain, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Still waiting for a "fake news" digg category that I can unsubscribe from...
geniusNOTatWORK, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2since when did gizmodo do Onion-like stories?
plizard, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1seriously? wtf and this isn't from the onion
Duositex, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Obviously Gizmodo is pandering to the digg crowd that will read every Onion story posted. I hate The Onion and I hate Gizmodo even more. This is a double spam sandwich.
monkeyrun, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1wow, wtf!? really? okay... got it. bury.
levitron, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1Onion Article: Pope Stays up All Night Telling God About Trip to America:
http://www.theonion.com/content/radio_news/pope_st ...
FredFredrickson, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2God I hate Gizmodo.
flytronix, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1buried as lame
Premier, on 05/12/2008, -0/+1why do people digg this without reading?
NeoCortex, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2I guess Gizmodo is merging with The Onion in order to combat the joining of Digg and 4chan.
PaganHeathen, on 05/12/2008, -1/+0Palm would have been better off ordering up the resurrection special.
Plus I have no idea why Gizmodo would even do a story that doesn't mention Apple in it somewhere.

Example Gizmodo story.
- New electric shaving gadget so cool. Of course we wrote about this on an Apple iphone - which rules.... Yay apple.
bulazeem, on 05/12/2008, -0/+0God damn it, you're using up all of my anytime minutes!
aristobrat, on 05/12/2008, -1/+0Click the story link and help the article author (Jesus Diaz) make more money:
http://www.portfolio.com/views/blogs/market-movers ...
Phigg, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2RTFA!
returnofthemac, on 05/12/2008, -0/+2will you people stop crying about the fact that its a joke?! it's OBVIOUS it's a joke, it's a monday and we could all use a giggle or 2, and if you're surfing these sites you obviously don't have anything urgent to deal with. scrape the sand from your vaginas and loosen the ***** up.
jsilver123, on 05/13/2008, -0/+0This may be fake, but media consolidation is happening all the time across print, broadcast, and mobile networks. Take action at stopbigmedia.com: https://secure.freepress.net/site/Advocacy?&id=243
ReneLimjoco, on 05/13/2008, -0/+0No more gizmodo for me
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Vatican Buys Palm for $800 Million

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