What is Digg?330 Comments
- jggube, on 11/25/2008, -3/+232#2 should be #1.
- inactive, on 11/25/2008, -5/+216Sure...
The other night I went down to Brew Co. in Westwood and I was already *****. About three hours into the night I ordered two shots of 151 for myself and a reluctant buddy. When the shots arrived, I asked a girl at the bar next to me for her lighter, she obliged and lit the shots for me.
Moments later the bartender came rushing over. She was the real butch type - the kind that hadn't been laid in a couple of years.
She told me to "put those out, NOW!" and for the sake of not wanting to compromise my flaming moe's, I picked them up and turned to give one to my friend.
As I turned my right elbow knocked a passer by in the jaw and the flaming alcohol spilled all over my arms which made me look like Mario from the original SMB. White outfit, arms ablaze.
Needless to say, I was ejected like Lou Piniella when he was a Mariner.
Fast forward an hour...
I was knocking on this girls front door wearing a custom sleeveless sweatshirt. She opened and I said happy birthday and walked into her room where she was hanging out with some girls.
I took my shoes off and took a seat on her bed while she played Clair De Lune on her piano. She was sightreading from her macbook pro that was sitting on top of the digital piano and she played well, at least as well as my state of mind allowed me to think.
Then all of a sudden, the music stopped. Whimpering replaced Claude Debussy and soon the birthday pianist started bawling. I didn't know what was going on, partly because she was crying but mostly because I was so drunk that I could barely see.
She turned to her MacBook Pro and picked it up. About a cup and half of water poured out of the keys and onto her lap.
I didn't know what to do so I got up and headed for the door. As I went for my shoes, I looked down and her little ***** ***** was pissing inside my ***** shoes.
I peaced.
Walked out of her complex and up the street. My sleeves were burnt off and I was holding my shoes like a freshman chick that had just been gangbanged by sigma chi in entirety. - cle2105, on 11/25/2008, -4/+198#11: You pee in your girlfriend's vagina during sex. Happened to a buddy of mine in college.
- Gmadd, on 11/25/2008, -6/+182Nobody sleeping next to a fat chick? Inaccurate.
- WiretapStudios, on 11/25/2008, -2/+173You're supposed to pee in her butt.
- suckonthat, on 11/25/2008, -3/+162why the crap were you mixing wine with soda?
- Oline61, on 11/25/2008, -5/+164Inm nyt ad srunk sd u thidnk y an
- DeathRay2K, on 11/25/2008, -0/+93I've never done anything stupid when I was drunk. Only truly awesome things.
- bitsculptor, on 11/25/2008, -9/+10111. You wake up from a 10 year blackout and find yourself born-again and US president.
- NtHammer, on 11/25/2008, -0/+86"buddy"...right
- inactive, on 11/25/2008, -0/+81What kind of pussy mixes wine and soda... you have a lot to learn friend
- nonstop87, on 11/25/2008, -1/+78Would someone care to share a story about when they were drunk and did something stupid?
- AmyVernon, on 11/25/2008, -3/+70I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
- dajuggernaut, on 11/25/2008, -1/+66getting plastered at a marina
+
needing to take a monster dump
=
someone getting a huge surprise in their live-well tank the next time they took their 45 foot boat out for a fishing trip. - Tyrghast, on 11/25/2008, -8/+69Must... not.. click... *****... top 10... list...
- inactive, on 11/25/2008, -6/+67whats wrong with u... for me the only difference is, it just shoots further than normal.
- AmyVernon, on 11/25/2008, -0/+56Yeah, I agree... I'd rather be passed out in the street than passed out head-first in a urinal.
- inactive, on 11/25/2008, -7/+62I have a quick one too.
I was over at my friends house and had a bottle of wine mixed with coke (the soft drink) because it's the only ***** we could get our hands on. We had the brilliant idea to walk to a Baskin and Robins ice cream shop about 2-3 miles away. We were so smashed that we forgot they weren't open on a Saturday morning at 2 am. So we stumble back to my friends house (this felt like an eternity, because we were drunk), about block away we start running because we think someone is chasing us. Up was down and down was up, everything was ***** spinning.
I crashed on his couch and realized that i was going to puke from all the running. So I ran in the direction of the bathroom, faceplanting into the doorjam, and started bleeding from a gaping tear in my forehead while simultaneously throwing up all over the wall. Fast forward to the ER and I'm puking in the Hospital bathroom, can't remember my telephone number or social security number, and a had lot of stitches and a bunch of other *****.
Overall, it was a good "first-drunken experience" - MattB123, on 11/25/2008, -1/+52Healthy pee is sterile, so yes, it might help with her butt infections.
- spitfire5637, on 11/25/2008, -0/+47dugg for *****
- vashth3stampede, on 11/25/2008, -2/+46be warned. this is very long. and yes, this was me. our accounts are registered to the same email address.
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54/poker-beats-b ... - reuscel, on 11/25/2008, -0/+42When I was in college, I drank myself into a complete blackout one night, so the story I'm about to recount is only known to me via other peoples' accounts of the night.
So, I was bombed beyond belief in my dorm room after a near fatal mix of tequila and several beers. My good friend Liz lived across the hall from me at the time. Somehow, I got her room mixed up with the bathroom. So, I walked in, said hello to my friend Andy, who was in her room playing GTA (the first one) on her computer, and took a nice long piss behind her couch, onto a pair of pants that she was sewing for a friend of hers. I had no idea until I was told about it the next day.
Man, I really miss college sometimes. - 2Pharcyded, on 11/25/2008, -0/+39i got lost in a stairwell for 6 hours once
damn you popov...
damn you - Gharial, on 11/25/2008, -1/+40mmmmmm urinal cake
- Jektal, on 11/25/2008, -0/+392+ people sharing a bottle of diluted (WITH SODA?!) wine, and that's the night that resulted?
Are you 12? If so, mad props on the soda ingenuity, but you've got a lot to learn. - inactive, on 11/25/2008, -3/+41lol, they must have left it out because its too commonplace
- jseres, on 11/25/2008, -12/+50I don't know about you.. but it hurts like a ***** to piss with an erection.
- fuzzy889, on 11/25/2008, -6/+42Yep, something is definately wrong with your penis. It shouldn't hurt. Sort it out.
- StigNordas, on 11/25/2008, -0/+34I never get tired of looking at these, or waking up head down in a urinal.
- VanishingLex, on 11/25/2008, -7/+41ur not supposed to be able to pee with an erection, thats what the valve in your prostate is for.
if it hurts its cos you are forcing your prostate open when it wants to stay switched to sperms.
If you can pee when erect you are doing it wrong! - iPood, on 11/25/2008, -0/+32I bet he wishes he said coke the drug now...
- daimposter, on 11/25/2008, -3/+34dugg for the "coke (the soft drink" comment. i don't think any of us assumed otherwise.
- cle2105, on 11/25/2008, -2/+33She got an infection and they eventually broke up
- l2digg, on 11/25/2008, -0/+31One night at about 3am, I took my pants off and stood in the middle of a street spinning in circles with a paintball gun apparently screaming, "Say hello to my lil' friend!!". I woke up the next morning and everything was splattered with paint, including my car.
- Hortinstein, on 11/25/2008, -0/+30i made out with a homeless chick wearing a pikachu backpack in front of a car dealership in seattle
- Nistelrooy, on 11/25/2008, -2/+31Haha. Nice.
- inactive, on 11/25/2008, -1/+30I think I'm am not as drunk as you
- ncrep, on 11/25/2008, -0/+28man down...man down.. can we get a mirror over here stat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- xChunk, on 11/25/2008, -2/+30A real drunk doesn't remember the previous night.
- cle2105, on 11/25/2008, -0/+27Why am I getting dugg down? That's really what happened, and Aadain asked. Tough crowd
- gratefuldutch, on 11/25/2008, -1/+26What seems to be the officer, problem?
- GoodbyeHorses87, on 11/25/2008, -1/+2511. your body tells you "throw the ***** up!" but there's nothing left in you to throw up, you already threw it all up goddamnit... that ***** kills.
- fuzzy889, on 11/25/2008, -0/+24So what's the deal with the grim reaper street sign in #10?
- latexsolarbeef, on 11/25/2008, -0/+24mmmm butt pee
- logicalfallacy, on 11/25/2008, -2/+24What's with all you Jesuses getting drunk?
- inactive, on 11/25/2008, -0/+22Yeah, #2 makes me cringe.
- kcolwell24, on 11/25/2008, -0/+21I remember the second time I drank was right before my senior year in high school. I went to a friend's house and was drinking some mystery liquor (bad idea) from a coke bottle. Approximately 5 minutes later I crash onto the floor and hit my head on her boyfriend's xbox... I remember yelling "I CAN'T SEE! I CAN'T SEE!" and once I open my eyes I witness my friend and her boyfriend having sex on the couch.
...insert 6 hours of being blacked out here.... (my friends tell me that they came over to my other friend's house and saw the state I was in so they brought me to another friend's house where her stepmother took care of me. *and other terrifying embarrassing situations that I don't want to think about*)
I find myself in my mom's car puking into a trash can and repeating "I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid"... then I fall asleep/blackout again.
The next morning I wake up to see that my two front teeth are practically missing. Like giant chips. Obviously I freaked out because the next day was my first day of senior year. So I go to the dentist and have to get like an hours work of dental work done with literally the worst hangover of my life.
Also, I was grounded for a month. And I totally deserved it.
Most terrible experience I have ever had. Hands down. - iPood, on 11/25/2008, -1/+22Not the worst thing that could have resulted from a night of drinking, but this is probably the dumbest thing I've personally done while hammered.
I was at a bar one night with a few friends getting pretty bombed. I went out to my car (no intention of driving it home that night, a friend who lives around the corner from me told me he would drive home because he wasn't going to drink much) to grab a pack of cigarettes. After I lock my car via remote, the horn honks (I guess to confirm that it locked). My friend hears this and goes "Oh, I didn't know your car had an alarm". I insisted it didn't, but he wasn't convinced because the horn sounded when I locked it, and to be honest I really don't blame him in this thinking.
After arguing for a few more minutes, I said ***** it, if my car has an alarm it would go off if I kinda run in to it. So I proceeded to slam against my car with my side to prove my point. All in all, I proved my car didn't have an alarm system, and I also left a nice dent on the front driver side of my car. Talk about a ***** buzz kill, I was pissed off the whole night and part of the next day because of that error in judgment. - NonLeftistDiggr, on 11/25/2008, -1/+21You still can't drive when you wake up in the morning
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