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236 Comments
- empath, on 04/29/2009, -7/+367too wordy:
Girl Says:
Relationship Talk - Do I Look Fat?
Real Talk - I look fat, but don't you dare say it.
Guy Says
Relationship Talk - Do I Look Fat?
Real Talk - I'm gay. - EastCoastGnar, on 04/29/2009, -9/+351I laughed. And we all know, laughter is the best medicine. It doesn't cure swine flu, though.
- j0hnglist, on 04/29/2009, -8/+279Girl says:
Relationship Talk - Do I look Fat?
Real Talk - I gained 10 pounds and hoped you didn't notice despite you being a visual creature who thinks with his other head first. I am hoping I am so special that I am exempt from this reality.
Guys says:
Relationship Talk - Do I look Fat?
Real Talk - I am asking you the same question you just asked me in order to pretend that I too share your insecurities. However, I am actually proud of my newfound ability to consume unlimited beers without having repercussions, since you love me already and won't leave me as long as I don't cheat on you - charlieville, on 04/29/2009, -38/+306Wow can HolyTaco try any harder to be Cracked?
- EagleRufio, on 04/30/2009, -13/+261Ya this is totally spot on... if your girlfriend's a snobby bitch and your a fratboy...
Arg, its such a comedic cop out to play off the same TIRED relationship stereotypes. Next they'll do an article detailing the differences between boys and girls, because we've NEVER seen that before. - lokee73, on 04/30/2009, -6/+169Girl Says:
Relationship Talk - Fine.
Real Talk - You ***** up now and I'm going to bring this moment up every chance I can rub it in your face *****!
Guy Says:
Relationship Talk - Fine.
Real Talk - I just want to forget about this as quickly and painlessly as possible...bitch! - BDOUG, on 04/30/2009, -5/+163
Predictable Digg post #1: but diggers don't have girlfriends / relationships / can't get laid (just go ahead and set up a keyboard macro for this one dudes, OK?)
Predictable Digg post #2: this offends my liberal sensibilities and wanting to feel superior I must point this out to everyone, rather than just burying / ignoring the article.
Predictable Digg post #3: why is <one of ten standard rotating sites> on the front page AGAIN?
Predictable Digg post #4: what the hell is wrong with the comment box? PLEASE FIX. It looks like it's humping my text.
Predictable Digg post #5: I'm drunk as hell and everything be's hilarious, all the time!
Predicitable Digg post #6: yet another godamned unfunny, unoriginal numbered list mocking predictable Digg posts. - Black6x, on 04/30/2009, -3/+136At least Holy Taco put the whole thing on one page.
- minnecrapolis, on 04/30/2009, -0/+81For that you need Oinkment and hogwash.
- borez, on 04/30/2009, -6/+83Girl: I think we should take a break.
Translation: That's it, I'm done but I don't have the guts to tell you straight, although I am keeping my options open in case I can't find anyone better.
Boy: I think we should take a break.
Translation: I'm bored of you and feel the need to go shagging about without feeling guilty about it afterwards + you won't be able to use it against me because we were on a break. - directedition, on 04/30/2009, -2/+77She says:
"Do you think she's pretty?"
What she means:
"No matter how you answer, this relationship is ending in about three seconds." - inactive, on 04/30/2009, -0/+74empath knows his relationship talk.
Girl Says:
Relationship Talk - Come hang out with my new friends.
Real Talk - You better like my new friends, but if you say more than "hi" im going to be mad all night thinking you wanted to took up with one of them.
Guy Says:
Relationship Talk - All my phone numbers got erased, call me and I'll add yours in again.
Real Talk - What is your name? - vwvwvw, on 04/30/2009, -5/+71Girl says:
Relationship Talk - Did you have fun tonight?
Real Talk - Do you think I'm pretty? Did I wear the right shoes? Am I thinner than your ex-girlfriend? Did I order the right thing at dinner? Did I say anything wrong? Did I come off as crazy at all? Do you totally hate me?
Guys says:
Relationship Talk - Did you have fun tonight?
Real Talk - Are we going to have sex? - Maka697, on 04/30/2009, -1/+63I laughed at the anal one. My girlfriend didn't. Sad.
- Scrappy1850, on 04/30/2009, -0/+59what she means: can we take her home with us tonight?
- sh2ta, on 04/30/2009, -0/+55Your username suggests otherwise
- DustinMichaels, on 04/30/2009, -11/+64this is the best xkcd ever!
- mwerks, on 04/30/2009, -1/+40What girl?
- chuckDontSurf, on 04/30/2009, -0/+36Don't forget the obvious:
In response to being asked 'What's wrong?':
Girl Says:
Relationship Talk - Nothing.
Real Talk - You're in such deep ***** right now.
Guy Says:
Relationship Talk - Nothing.
Real Talk - Nothing. No really, nothing is ***** wrong. I just want to watch TV. Stop bugging me. - HemlockEcho, on 04/30/2009, -0/+35Oh, I get it. It's funny because men like sex and women like to talk and don't like sex.
- inactive, on 04/30/2009, -0/+33That's when you resort to the donkey punch.
- freestyleski4, on 04/30/2009, -0/+31If there is one thing that Friends taught me, it's that this is not a good excuse.
- Dakobah, on 04/30/2009, -17/+48Nobody really thinks like that..same old boring stereotypes of men and women.
Try harder. - chriscim, on 04/30/2009, -23/+53This is retarded. Stereotypical crap that some people actually believe. Buried.
- takamalak, on 04/30/2009, -12/+40Only a woman would say that.
- Praystation, on 04/30/2009, -25/+52But most diggers have no girlfriends. :(
- Maxwell1234, on 04/30/2009, -0/+26I think she is cheating on me with a man named 'Hermano'...
- jgtg32a, on 04/30/2009, -0/+25Nicely done
- commentposted, on 04/30/2009, -2/+26But the comment box IS humping my text!
- inactive, on 04/30/2009, -3/+27Bacon, why would you do this to us? :(
- Igrift, on 04/30/2009, -6/+28Internet rule#1, Only Cracked.com may attempt to be funny.
On a side note, can websites have fanboys? - MrMayBeBanned, on 04/30/2009, -0/+19Boys have a penis.
Girls have a vagina. - nepidae, on 04/30/2009, -1/+18Holytaco is like the Dane Cook of comedic web sites.
- inactive, on 04/30/2009, -3/+19But I've had these conversations.. they are pretty spot on.
- Gareth321, on 04/30/2009, -3/+18You guys go out with some firebreathing she-monsters.
- ImYourRealDad, on 04/30/2009, -5/+19Don't forget #7: complain about how every comment follows the same template with almost every article on Digg.
- inactive, on 04/30/2009, -2/+15Most girls have no girl friends..
- MaddieCakes, on 04/30/2009, -8/+20Buried for sexist stereotypes. Not all guys are stupid drunks who only want to *****, and not all women are hostile, frigid shrews.
- hilo4321, on 04/30/2009, -1/+13i don't think i can agree that it's better, this was really pathetic and added nothing new to the tired genre of relationship "humor"
at least with cracked i laugh sometimes - failtrain, on 04/30/2009, -0/+12This is the internet.
All men are boys.
All women are men.
All kids are police officers. - DemiRonin, on 04/30/2009, -0/+12Because we have not worshiped pork and it is angry. Do not mock the economy
- rnawky, on 04/30/2009, -0/+11Nice, this might save me one day.
...Who am I *****, By the time I get a girl friend I'll completely forget this. - theword12, on 04/30/2009, -1/+12It didn't work for Ross, it won't work for you.
- RaulMuadDib, on 04/30/2009, -0/+9Hot Jennifer Aniston....mmm
- AstroDomine, on 04/30/2009, -0/+9The guy sounds like the biggest Douchebag on earth
- mattrmcg, on 04/30/2009, -1/+9Steals jokes and does them in a more spaztastic manner?
- netdroid9, on 04/30/2009, -0/+8¡HOLA! ¿TÚ GUSTARÉS MIS FAMILIA, SÍ? MÍ HERMANA ES DIEZ AÑOS, ¿TÚ GUSTO? ¡SOLO SEIS PESOS!
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