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The Onion Sold To The Chinese

theonion.com — Be sure to browse the page after reading this article :)

Who dugg this? Made popular Jul 21, 2009

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225 Comments

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  • rcchennnnnnn, on 07/21/2009, -0/+360Dugg for "Nothing At All Happens To 28 Tibetan Protesters, Their Families"
  • dvsbastard, on 07/21/2009, -2/+338I have always wondered if The Onion had some serious news to release about their site, how the hell would they do it?!
  • sondatch, on 07/20/2009, -1/+329The Onion is now brought to you by: Yu Wan Mei, global leader in fish technologies.
    http://www.yuwanmei.com/

    “Fish Time Is Success Time”
  • HellaHelgi, on 07/21/2009, -1/+234"Yao Ming is perfectly healthy and, in fact, cannot be injured."
    The Onion has done it again!
  • grahamholloway, on 07/20/2009, -0/+217my favourite is "Police Still Searching for Missing, Productive, Obedient Woman"
  • nshady, on 07/21/2009, -0/+181Love it. I wonder how long they'll keep this going for and what their exit strategy is.
  • bdh008, on 07/20/2009, -1/+140It Fish Time!
  • D14852001neko, on 07/21/2009, -1/+119I <3 The Onion
  • arTech, on 07/21/2009, -0/+116Can you imagine if The Onion had to announce that they're closing down the shop, how would they do it? No one would believe them. We'd be coming back day after day to a parked domain page chuckling at their genius.

  • 49CentTacos, on 07/21/2009, -12/+117I for one, welcome our new Chinese overlords in handing our news. I'm gonna have some Yu Wan Mei now.

    Meh, better than Fox News does it anyway.
  • smackert, on 07/21/2009, -1/+100Haha. The 鱼 symbol the articles end with is "Fish."
  • enkideridu, on 07/21/2009, -6/+97That's not 'trying to speak Chinese'
    That's 'being an *****'
  • perrycarter, on 07/21/2009, -2/+87Star Athlete Signs Contract For Millions Of Weak U.S. Dollars
  • MogusMaximus, on 07/21/2009, -20/+94"CHINA STRONG"

    I have a (former) Chinese roommate and I amuse myself by trying to speak Chinese to him, which happens to be just gibberish in a Chinese inflection. He is usually, actually never as amused as I always am by this exercise.
  • vinomatt, on 07/21/2009, -3/+69Free Tibet? I'll take it!
  • boredco, on 07/21/2009, -0/+65I, for one, find The Onion even funnier now that it is written by our honoured comrades in Beijing
  • Bangaarang, on 07/21/2009, -0/+59"YANTAI, CHINA—In a non-news event, which did not occur and therefore warrants no coverage, nothing at all happened to 28 Tibetan protesters and their screaming families this Monday."
    rofl
  • sooperdooper, on 07/21/2009, -2/+61With purchase of equal or greater value.
  • SmallBalls, on 07/21/2009, -1/+57hopefully not iraq
  • orbish, on 07/21/2009, -1/+48They're even selling Yu Wan Mei Miscellaneous Tasty Paste $13.99
  • babyheadout, on 07/21/2009, -3/+46This is ridicurous.
    (goes back to fish time)
  • mathyu21, on 07/21/2009, -1/+44"According to all sources, the People's Republic of China is strong. The nation is united, the military unmatched, the economy vibrant, and the people ever joyful."

    well that goes without saying
  • rabidjester, on 07/21/2009, -1/+43/facepalm
  • vinomatt, on 07/21/2009, -1/+41The onion is brilliant!
    Dugg for the op-ed

    http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/american_c ...
  • trs21219, on 07/21/2009, -4/+44dugg for "chinky dinkery" hahaha
  • protogenxl, on 07/21/2009, -0/+39China Will Grow Larger.
  • monsterenergy, on 07/21/2009, -4/+39Shut the ***** up already.
  • RansomHoldiay, on 07/21/2009, -0/+33whoooosh
  • Jordan117, on 07/21/2009, -0/+29I am an American, and I agree with this statement, fellow American citizen.

    Now, let us go enjoy the base ball match.
  • orbish, on 07/21/2009, -1/+29op-ed
    Know Any Good State Secrets?

    Dave Sampson


    GOLD!
  • jfield1, on 07/21/2009, -0/+28This is some good *****.
  • jts10, on 07/21/2009, -0/+27Yao Ming, who at 28 will soon be the only active player ever to be inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame, learned to play basketball when he was 3 years old after finding an untamed cobra in the mountains, a cobra of ancient legend whose very breath was poisonous. The cobra was taller than a full-grown tree, and beat Yao in one-on-one basketball competition every day for 19 straight years. Then, the very night before their final game, Yao prayed deeply to his ancestors and ingested more than 20 pounds of Yu Wan Mei fish by-products, and behold! Yao grew three feet while he slept.

    Yao beat the cobra 11-0 the following morning, beheaded it with a great spear, fashioned a graceful sailing vessel from its colossal body, and rode this vessel across the Pacific Ocean to play professional basketball in the United States. There, Yao Ming became leader of the Rockets after receiving the Mandate of Heaven from previous team captain Hakeem Olajuwon.
  • vinomatt, on 07/21/2009, -0/+24is this a joke?
  • zip000, on 07/21/2009, -0/+24Oh that is terrific!

    Best thing I've found so far:

    Under Products:
    Yum-E-Freez Eel Milk
    From nature’s breasts comes an appetizing and vigorous frozen eel-milk product. It soothes the mouth on a hot day and fills one with strength! Available in male or female.
  • deadpoetic333, on 07/21/2009, -0/+24http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/know_any_g ...

    This guy seems legit. I've been dying to tell someone about the secret probes we have in foreign governments, thank God Dave is such a reliable guy.

    What are you guys gonna get off your chest?
  • KooperG, on 07/21/2009, -5/+28FREE TIBET FROM CHINESE INVADERS!
    china is moving poor people from all over china into tibet, so they can later claim that a large percentage of inhabitants is chinese and should belong to china.
  • Chaotyk, on 07/21/2009, -0/+22Seconded.
  • Amlethus, on 07/21/2009, -1/+22The exit strategy will probably just be to return to normal as if nothing happened.
  • inactive, on 07/21/2009, -1/+22China will grow larger.
  • Bleahdom, on 07/21/2009, -1/+20That's more than likely because your "Chinese inflection" doesn't even sound remotely Chinese.
  • blitzkriegpunk, on 07/21/2009, -0/+19Glorious Yu Wan Mei Tasty Paste! YOU BUY NOW!!!
  • DerryQuinn, on 08/17/2009, -0/+19Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Injection Polymer Group are super happy fun time. Fish Time are Success Time! Fish Time Gel for diminished manhood in bedroom, plentiful procreation bounty success.

    Show loyalty and dedication to your friend - Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Injection Polymer Group - With the official Yu Wan Mei Amalgamated Salvage Fisheries and Injection Polymer Group twibbon: http://twibbon.com/join/Yu-Wan-Mei
  • vinomatt, on 07/21/2009, -0/+18you have no soul
  • orbish, on 07/21/2009, -2/+20theonion.com
  • teamr, on 07/21/2009, -1/+19NASCAR: Why Is It Not Done On Thousands Of Bicycles?
  • rjshatz, on 07/21/2009, -1/+19The Onion! Brave stories bringing prosperity of mother nation!
  • TheNik, on 07/21/2009, -0/+17You really don't see that it's satire?

    Do you know what The Onion is?
  • fascistpig, on 07/21/2009, -0/+17Somebody has to archive every bit of the page right now. This is an instant classic.
  • remakeru, on 07/21/2009, -1/+18China it's not the first country to do this :) The sad part is that it will probably work...
  • inactive, on 07/21/2009, -1/+16Soon your base will glow general, like the sun!
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