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- tastypaste, on 09/14/2009, -3/+505Wake up, you nerf herders. The Death Star was an inside job. Darth Vader was a sleeper cell. You think it's a coincidence that his own son blew up the Death Star or that he used to be a part of the Jedi Order? Thousands of force-sensitive people were told to stay home on that day. And look at the Emperor's response after he was told. He kept reading My Pet Bantha for 7 minutes. He knew it was going to happen.
- phazonsuit07, on 09/14/2009, -6/+473Randal: So they build another Death Star, right?
Dante: Yeah.
Randal: Now the first one they built was completed and fully operational before the Rebels destroyed it.
Dante: Luke blew it up. Give credit where it's due.
Randal:And the second one was still being built when they blew it up.
Dante: Compliments of Lando Calrissian.
Randal: Something just never sat right with me the second time they destroyed it. I could never put my finger on it-something just wasn't right.
Dante: And you figured it out?
Randal: Well, the thing is, the first Death Star was manned by the Imperial army-storm troopers, dignitaries- the only people onboard were Imperials.
Dante: Basically.
Randal: So when they blew it up, no prob. Evil is punished.
Dante: And the second time around...?
Randal: The second time around, it wasn't even finished yet. They were still under construction.
Dante: So?
Randal: A construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I'll bet there were independent contractors working on that thing: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
Dante: Not just Imperials, is what you're getting at.
Randal: Exactly. In order to get it built quickly and quietly they'd hire anybody who could do the job. Do you think the average storm trooper knows how to install a toilet main? All they know is killing and white uniforms.
Dante: All right, so even if independent contractors are working on the Death Star, why are you uneasy with its destruction?
Randal: All those innocent contractors hired to do a job were killed- casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. (notices Dante's confusion) All right, look-you're a roofer, and some juicy government contract comes your way; you got the wife and kids and the two-story in suburbia-this is a government contract, which means all sorts of benefits. All of a sudden these left-wing militants blast you with lasers and wipe out everyone within a three-mile radius. You didn't ask for that. You have no personal politics. You're just trying to scrape out a living. - michaelrsa, on 09/14/2009, -1/+305Honestly, Storm Troopers are the best characters to center skits on. They're one of those few characters where you can put a mundane every man existence on them and they just get better.
It's like 21 and 24 from the The Venture Brothers. You take these characters who have to go through all this ***** that nobody else has to deal with, taking orders from a guy in a costume and dressing up themselves and then you superimpose a normal existence over them to give the audience a way to relate to them. It makes for such versatile and interesting characters. - TobiasParker, on 09/14/2009, -3/+265Hilarious, but also nice reference with the Blue Milk, subtle nods can make or break a skit like this.
- InglouriousTerd, on 09/14/2009, -1/+257"One guy, hiding in some cave on Dagobah" classic
- redmyse, on 09/14/2009, -5/+247LOL @ the comparison between Bin Laden and Luke Sky Walker
- DMCrimson, on 09/14/2009, -0/+220"I think it was an inside job just so the emperor could invade Hoth"
Holy moley what a great parody. - fragsta, on 09/14/2009, -3/+184Hahaha, brilliant. Some surprising parallels.
- Xaevier, on 09/14/2009, -0/+176Don't even get em started on whether or not the Emperor was born within the galactic federation planets.
- jakash, on 09/14/2009, -2/+155Kinda makes me hate the Jedi now...
- Hetman, on 09/14/2009, -3/+152Not to mention the fact that two missles were able to blow up the entire death star. Seriously in all of recorded history no death star has ever been brought down by just two missles. There had to be explosives planted inside the death star. There is no way to two missles could have brought down the death star.
- richmomz, on 09/14/2009, -8/+153The Truther bit was hilarious:
Stormtrooper 1: "You know, honestly I think Palpatine knew about it all along and just let it happen so he could go to Hoth."
Stormtrooper 2 & 3: "Aw come on, jeez. Here we go..."
Stormtrooper 1: "No, no I'm serious! I mean, Darth Vader just *happens* to be in a tie fighter when the whole thing goes down? Please!
Stormtrooper 2: "Whatever."
Stormtrooper 1: "I've read the engineering reports, okay? I mean, there's *no* way one X-Wing could have taken this thing down. It *had* to be a controlled demolition!"
Stormtrooper 3: "Man, nobody wants to hear this..."
Stormtrooper 1: "You're BLIND! You're just a bunch of DRONES!"
ROFL - GregLoire, on 09/14/2009, -0/+128The movie's been out for 32 years.
- Sevenfeet, on 09/14/2009, -3/+114It's really hard to make anything about September 11th funny. But this was funny.
- kitsua, on 09/14/2009, -0/+111-I'm a contractor myself. I'm a roofer."Done And Ready Home improvements."
Speaking as a roofer, l can tell you a roofer's personal politics...comes into play heavily
when choosing jobs.
- Like when ?
-Three weeks ago, l was offered a job up in the hills. Beautiful house. Tons of property. A simple re-shingling job. They told me if l could finish it in one day, l would double my price.Then l realized whose house it was.
- [ Dante ] Whose house was it ?
- Dominic Bambino's.
- Baby Face Bambino ? The gangster ?
The same ! The money was right, but the risk was too high. I knew who he was, and based on that, I turned the job over to a friend.
- Based on personal politics.
- Right ! The next week, the Foresie family put a hit on Baby Face's house. My friend was shot and killed.
Didn't even finish re-shingling.
- No way.
-I'm alive because l knew the risk involved in that particular client. My friend wasn't so lucky. Any contractor working on that Death Star knew the risk involved. If they got killed, it's their own fault. A roofer listens to his head, not his wallet. - Gravey9, on 09/14/2009, -2/+110You don't hate the Jedi...
- TheDrewboy64, on 09/14/2009, -0/+104can anyone explain how Star Destroy 7 blew up?
- Taiyoryu, on 09/14/2009, -0/+99http://www.atom.com/funny_videos/blue_milk/
- norwegianlegion, on 09/14/2009, -0/+99Oh. I guess not. I'm going to go and rethink my life.
- TheDrewboy64, on 09/14/2009, -1/+96"Especially the drones!"
- kirbyriw, on 09/14/2009, -0/+91I like the effort even if it's not quite word for word.
"Any contractor working on that death star knew the risk involved. If they got killed it's their own fault. A roofer listens to this, not his wallet." - Scopalamine, on 09/14/2009, -3/+94We only went to Hoth for the Tauntauns
- richmomz, on 09/14/2009, -1/+89I heard Jabba the Hutt took out an insurance policy on the Death Star the week before it blew up - explain THAT!
- inactive, on 09/14/2009, -0/+79LOL... one of the Stormtroopers was a truther.
- LordStryker, on 09/14/2009, -8/+85Dugg because it actually was worth the read.
- Pakivelli, on 09/15/2009, -0/+65yeah it's Usāmah bin Muḥammad bin `Awaḍ bin Lādin... get it right next time.
- tweaq, on 09/14/2009, -0/+54You mean just 21
RIP 24 :(
But yes, awesome. - MatzahMan, on 09/14/2009, -0/+51The Death Star was an inside job.
- Baronvontito1, on 09/14/2009, -0/+51I love that scene so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n6lzEhoXads - richmomz, on 09/14/2009, -1/+50The Jedi hate us for our freedom!
- richmomz, on 09/15/2009, -2/+48I guess that would make him a StormTruther!
- Hetman, on 09/14/2009, -0/+45I cannot relate to brock Samson. He kicks ass.
- WeberWK, on 09/14/2009, -0/+42Your nerd card is hereby revoked.
- barandon0D9, on 09/15/2009, -2/+34Not only that, but it's based on events that happened a long time ago...
- bubbameister33, on 09/15/2009, -1/+32Religion of peace my ass!
- makkaveli19, on 09/15/2009, -2/+33knock knock
Who's there?
9/11
9/11 who
i thought you never forget. - Imissnaptime, on 09/14/2009, -0/+30If it hadn't been for that space traffic!
- photochopped, on 09/14/2009, -1/+30I agree, they needed a spoiler warning.
- richmomz, on 09/15/2009, -1/+30Vader's story about how he survived is such bantha ***** - I mean seriously, some random guy in a tricked out FREIGHTER ship came swooping in out of freaking nowhere and blasted his wingman in a way that just happens to deflect his ship in the perfect direction to survive the massive explosion of the Death Star? Does anyone actually *believe* that crap?
And don't even get me started about Order 66! - Ockniel, on 09/14/2009, -0/+29Can I please get a tshirt of this?
- SirBruce, on 09/14/2009, -1/+28Brilliant!
- Morac, on 09/15/2009, -0/+27Line from video
ROFL - richmomz, on 09/15/2009, -0/+26I dunno but I heard they found thermal detonator residue in the rubble!
- BrewBeau, on 09/15/2009, -0/+24Has anyone noticed that the "official" footage of the death star blowing up shows a halo expanding from the explosion, yet when I look back at my original VHS tapes from that day, no halo. Only a controlled demolition would create an explosion with no halo.
- trixyfox, on 09/15/2009, -1/+25Cool story bro
- tmaniac, on 09/15/2009, -5/+29LOL @ not spelling the main characters name right
- DhalsimHibiki, on 09/14/2009, -1/+23Hell if I were a storm trooper I wouldnt believe either that that ***** huge Death Star could be destroyed by one single tiny x-wing and that Darth Vader coincidently left it in time.
- BongWaterSmells, on 09/14/2009, -3/+25Wow I never thought about it like that! lol, genius
- LPfmAAF, on 09/15/2009, -6/+26LOL @ you not caring enough
- morefrommoe, on 09/14/2009, -0/+19that was actually really amusing
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