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The 11 Most Unnecessary 'How To' Guides on the Web

cracked.com — Who says there's nothing useful on the Internet? From Yahoo Answers to the countless How-To sites, the web is full of non-experts telling you how to do everything from change a muffler to castrate a llama. But some of these 'how-tos' seem so grossly unnecessary, we're wondering if these people aren't just getting paid by the word.

Who dugg this? Made popular Feb 3, 2009

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  • JonTheGoose, on 02/03/2009, -0/+80howdoyouguysputthelittlespacesbetweenyourwords?
  • tyrran, on 02/03/2009, -0/+61Let's remember the important lesson, kids: never do anything without consulting the internet first.
  • NeedlerFanPudge, on 02/03/2009, -0/+57THAT'S HOW YOU USE A MOUSE! I always just slammed my head into the buttons and then gazed at the magic happening in the screen. Now I wont have to use ASPRIN!
  • Miche1987, on 02/03/2009, -0/+45WHOA HOW DO YOU TYPE IN LITTLE LETTERS? MINE ARE ALWAYS BIG AND STUFF!
  • alpharaptor, on 02/03/2009, -0/+43i have NEVER seen anyone snap their fingers using their index finger, i tried it and it sounds 'impotent'. we use our middle fingers to snap over here in civilized parts of the world, ***** savages.
  • BrandonR717, on 02/03/2009, -2/+34Cracked is on a roll this week, this is one of the funniest articles I've ever read there. I actually laughed out loud during most of it.
  • vinceislegend, on 02/03/2009, -0/+28I want to Digg this up, but I can't seem to figure out how I do that.

    Dammit Cracked, you have left me high and dry!
  • SeanyMac, on 02/03/2009, -0/+23I no longer have to store my entire collection of office pens in my bathtub! World, here I come!
  • cyrix, on 02/03/2009, -0/+21¡¿¡¿¡¿¡¿dn ǝpıs ʇɥƃıɹ ǝdʎʇ sʎnƃ noʎ op ʍoɥ ƃɯo
  • starexplorer, on 02/03/2009, -0/+18here's the brilliant part - cracked.com making fun of wikihow.com - oh, by the way, cracked.com is owned by Demand Media, which runs eHow.com...

    Over half of the articles on this page have identical matches on eHow.com - and they rank in search.

    throwdown time.
  • sofunnyithurts, on 02/03/2009, -3/+17very good article, actually laughed out loud in the middle of class
  • diggnidy, on 02/03/2009, -0/+14how to write a how-to-article
  • coldkill3r, on 02/03/2009, -0/+12NO KEEP IT ON. THE BIG LETTERS ALWAYS GET YOUR POINT ACROSS AND MAKE YOU SEEM COOLER!
  • abarysh2, on 02/03/2009, -1/+13...so where's my check?
  • RaulMuadDib, on 02/03/2009, -0/+12Your monitor is upside down.
  • hiPpymIck, on 02/03/2009, -0/+11how is babby formed?
    http://www.somethingawful.com/flash/shmorky/babby. ...
  • Altair27, on 02/03/2009, -0/+9Which is the exact opposite of what would happen if those same people enjoyed cracked articles and read them regularly.

    Wait a sec...
  • inactive, on 02/03/2009, -1/+912. How to find the 11 most unnecessary ones.
  • Spymodhf, on 02/03/2009, -0/+7what about how to get to pen island?
  • ihatediggcom, on 02/03/2009, -0/+6same here, i was almost rolling on the floor, good thing the teacher was away.
  • jshpro2, on 02/03/2009, -0/+6Hey guys I can't figure out how to digg this, can one of you write me a tutorial? Thanks
  • Fustigations, on 02/03/2009, -0/+6Try the middle finger. I can't do it with the index finger either...
  • Altair27, on 02/03/2009, -0/+6Usually they stick to whole numbers. Haven't seen any top -5 lists from them in a while.
  • roostersheep, on 02/03/2009, -0/+6That's pretty hilarious, though they misspelt "How to look like a dick right before stabbing yourself in the spleen".
  • i4ybrid, on 02/03/2009, -0/+5How do I make a babby? Seriously.
  • TKDGIT, on 02/03/2009, -0/+5I thought most of the article as fairly amusing, but I have to admit that I pretty much lost it when I got to "Blinking". I actually stopped midway through to see if the guy in the next office was in or not because I was trying to hold in my laughter and was making horrible snorting noises because of it. The snorting stopped once I knew I could just laugh without being heard :)
  • jsauter, on 02/03/2009, -0/+5Compiler warning. Incompatible type cast.
  • CCCPSpy, on 02/03/2009, -0/+4I found this one pretty unnecessary:

    http://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Champagne-Bottle-wit ...
  • inactive, on 02/04/2009, -0/+4Is it bad that I shampoo after washing my body?
  • i4ybrid, on 02/03/2009, -0/+4I actually can't snap my fingers. Even with this stupid guide!
  • yetAnotherCroc, on 02/03/2009, -0/+4I think Cracked got trolled
  • inactive, on 02/03/2009, -1/+5basically, ***** you. i did learn to snap my fingers through the internets.

    but i still suck cause i don't really like to snap them all the time. that's for harlots.
  • stellamaris, on 02/03/2009, -0/+3There was an article in Glamour magazine a few months ago, I kid you not: How to take a shower. First shampoo, then condition, then wash the body, then the face (which i figured out on my own years ago.) It shows what they think about their audience.
  • protogenxl, on 02/03/2009, -0/+3I having some trouble with these pop-tarts are there instructions available?
  • meltingcube, on 02/03/2009, -0/+3Now I know how to pet a cat properly! Dugg.
  • Sylocat, on 02/04/2009, -0/+3Unnecessary, sure, but at least that one's AWESOME.
  • FieldAnonymouse, on 02/03/2009, -1/+4Reminds me of the time I saw a book titled "Absolute Beginner's Guide to iPod and iTunes"

    Out of curiosity I opened it to a random page in the middle, and found the section on adjusting the volume... If you need that book, you need to go back to your walkman.
  • wonkavsn, on 02/03/2009, -0/+3"how to connect to the internet"
  • inactive, on 02/03/2009, -0/+3After my girlfriend realized yesterday (after 10 years together) that I can't blink I wish that I had found that guide on how to blink before!

    (well, I can, but apparently my "open" eye is nearly closed, even if I see with it like if it was open. I have rather small eyes...)
  • roostersheep, on 02/03/2009, -0/+2Somebody needs a 'how to use digg' article. Also, suck my balls. Hugs and kisses.
  • lordwow, on 02/03/2009, -1/+3I lost it at:

    "Make sure your fingers are slightly moist."

    Oh, *****. No. Freaking. Way. Courtesy of WikiHow, we are now going to teach every girl we meet how to snap their fingers. That's right, make 'em moist first, ladies, and then Cracked will show you how it's done.
  • Smokeydabear, on 02/03/2009, -1/+3That pic of the 1950s movie robot looks an awful lot like Bender from Futurama.
  • Sylocat, on 02/04/2009, -0/+2They CLAIM they chose that URL by accident...
  • WibWobble, on 02/03/2009, -0/+2I was trying to learn how to snap my fingers for about an hour yesterday, and still can't do it. That guide IS necessary!
  • asnider, on 02/09/2009, -0/+2That one was my favourite, for the simple fact that, not only is it a useless how-to, they didn't even get it right.
  • Fustigations, on 02/03/2009, -0/+2and Jets.
  • inactive, on 02/04/2009, -0/+2Well, first, you need to do way instain mother.
  • Sm0k1R, on 02/05/2009, -0/+2-5 is still an integer. But im looking forward to "Top 7.25 worst math jokes."
  • MacEnvy, on 02/03/2009, -0/+2STOP SPAMMING, DICKFACE.
  • Fustigations, on 02/03/2009, -0/+2My co-workers are looking at me funny.
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