What is Digg?Sponsored by Travelzoo
Take Advantage of Ridiculously Low Holiday Airfares view!
travelzoo.com - Flights $52 and up for Thanksgiving, Christmas & New Year. But move on it now.
115 Comments
- ani625, on 12/01/2008, -1/+78Dugg for Winston Churchill
- mbatterham, on 12/01/2008, -2/+70Is it just me, or did "What We Would Have Said" almost ruin the article?
Also, just want to say this is one of cracked's best articles, a step up from the more recent ones - Foxprowl, on 12/01/2008, -2/+69Your mom is a devastating insult.
- notoriousbob, on 12/01/2008, -1/+49Warning: The following comeback burn is much better than most on the list that has been dugg.
It is a portion of an ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma’am, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you? - pstroll, on 12/01/2008, -2/+43"The jerk store called, they're running out of you!"
- MikeFallopian, on 12/01/2008, -0/+35I thought the "l'esprit d'escalier" was the perfect comeback that you invent too late to use - in other words it comes to you as you're leaving and haunts you on the way down the staircase because you didn't get to actually say it.
- jer21, on 12/01/2008, -0/+26"What's the difference? You're their all-time best seller!"
- tizzleG, on 12/01/2008, -0/+22"Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!"
- protogenxl, on 12/01/2008, -0/+18I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8yjNbcKkNY - inactive, on 12/01/2008, -1/+18Astor: “If you were my husband, I’d poison your tea.”
Churchill: “Madam, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”
I nearly ***** my pants. - HenvY, on 12/01/2008, -2/+18Also, Einstein wasn't religious.
- ncapone, on 12/01/2008, -0/+15"His wife is in a coma."
- TetchyTony, on 12/01/2008, -1/+16"Staircase ghost"? NOT! - in FrogSpeak esprit means 'wit'. So... the kind of clever riposte you think up too late, only when you're back out on the stairs. Equivalent: "The Englishman's wit is in his afterthought". Staircase ghost, indeed!
- ator1, on 12/01/2008, -0/+12"I could have been your daddy if I'd had change for a dollar."
- bennyshoham, on 12/01/2008, -0/+11that divine and tender coincidence of all the universe's comedic forces at the perfect moment.
- hiPpymIck, on 12/01/2008, -0/+11what do you think of Western Civilization
Ghandi - i think it would be a good idea - Serenity101, on 12/01/2008, -0/+10You're absolutely right. And the correct translation has nothing to do with ghosts. "Staircase wit" is more like it.
- imwithpony, on 12/01/2008, -0/+10Dugg for Baboons with capes.
- ileftfark, on 12/01/2008, -1/+11You are actually correct, but I don't fault cracked.com for not being up to snuff on French euphemisms.
- borninda818, on 12/01/2008, -1/+10They got dumber and dumber as I scrolled down.
- JustLetGo, on 12/01/2008, -3/+12But it has no impact like a well worded and witty comeback.
It takes no intelligence to use profanity. - Regulator980, on 12/01/2008, -1/+9Dugg for being all on ONE page. :)
- AmyVernon, on 12/01/2008, -2/+10I agree with the latter, but what I thought was funny about the "What We Would Have Said" was that it totally underscored how funny the intelligent insults were.
- kiiwii, on 12/01/2008, -0/+8Dugg for the Cambridge brothel girl.
- demodawid, on 12/01/2008, -0/+8How appropriate, you fight like a cow!
- KingBabi, on 12/01/2008, -1/+9As awesome as that is:
http://www.snopes.com/military/reinwald.asp - inactive, on 12/01/2008, -0/+7Dugg for the only valid situation where you can say Keith Moon was pwned.
- Scira, on 12/01/2008, -0/+7Somewhere there is a person who thinks noob is a devastating insult.
- MrFurious2k, on 12/01/2008, -0/+7I happened to like the little exchange between Ms. Potts and "Miss Brown" (Christine Everheart) in IronMan:
Pepper Potts:"I've got your clothes here. They've been dry cleaned and pressed. And there's a car waiting for you outside that will take you anywhere you'd like to go."
Christine Everheart:"You must be the famous Pepper Potts."
Pepper Potts:"Indeed I am."
Christine Everheart:"After all these years, Tony still has you picking up the dry cleaning?"
Pepper Potts:"I do anything and everything that Mr. Stark requires. Including occasionally taking out the trash. Will that be all?" - borninda818, on 12/01/2008, -0/+6"This video is not available in your country."
bummer - darkism, on 12/01/2008, -1/+7You fight like a dairy farmer!
- Mannyy, on 12/01/2008, -5/+11***** you is an insult
- spritom, on 12/01/2008, -1/+7Bah...no Ronald Reagan in the '84 Presidential debates?
The setup:
Reagan vs. Mondale in the '84 election.
Zing:
Mr. Trewhitt (reporter for The Baltimore Sun) : Mr. President, I want to raise an issue that I think has been lurking out there for two or three weeks, and cast it specifically in national security terms. You already are the oldest President in history, and some of your staff say you were tired after your most recent encounter with Mr. Mondale. I recall, yes, that President Kennedy, who had to go for days on end with very little sleep during the Cuba missile crisis. Is there any doubt in your mind that you would be able to function in such circumstances?
Comback:
Not at all, Mr. Trewhitt and I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent's youth and inexperience.
Video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoPu1UIBkBc
The video cuts off early, but even the person that asked the question couldn't stop laughing.
Some more of the Gipper:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zD8Y4SPpIU - Testiculese, on 12/01/2008, -0/+6Or it's an invite
- Zippo, on 12/01/2008, -0/+6Churchill was one crass *****.
- teebird, on 12/01/2008, -0/+5Here's one I heard in the dialogue of a TV sitcom:
A smart-mouthed rich kid is objecting to having to stand in line behind the "velvet rope" and says haughtily to the woman holding the guest list: "Do you know who my father is?"
The woman, unimpressed, looks him up and down and says: "Why don't you ask you mother?. Maybe she knows." - prompel, on 12/01/2008, -5/+10Very good insults, witty, stylish, deadly. As near perfection as possible. Then Cracked shat all over it.
- adriaaan, on 12/01/2008, -0/+5It's not just you, those were lame as hell. But otherwise good article!
- Travelsonic, on 12/01/2008, -1/+5It certainly does take intellignce... to use profanity well, and effectively, not just slinging it around without care.
- HenvY, on 12/01/2008, -1/+5“l’esprit d’escalier" doesn't refer simply to a comeback, you cracked douchebags.
- Goochman, on 12/01/2008, -1/+5Greatest comeback
"If I wanted a joke, Id follow you into the mens room and watch you take a leak"
Planes, Trains and Automobiles - deviantbono, on 12/01/2008, -0/+4Dugg for the Zep
- JohnLawson, on 12/01/2008, -0/+4something I noticed...
Why does, Winston Churchill, have a United States flag behind him...
secondly, who the hell wrote the ,"What We Would Have Said:"?
I need to go meet that guy to kick his ass for being so stupid.
All and all, this is definitely worth reading. - jakash, on 12/01/2008, -3/+7I know I might get buried into oblivion, but this scene from the movie 'In Bruges' has to be one of the best comebacks:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPuxPhPUwjk
There's lots of witty scenes like that throughout. - bonk2k, on 12/01/2008, -0/+4idioms*
- jer21, on 12/01/2008, -0/+4"You're an inanimate ***** object!"
That movie was awesome..."Ooh, they're filming midgets!" - darkism, on 12/01/2008, -0/+4I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle!
- kouchan21, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3exactly... "avoir l'esprit d'escalier" means you always find the perfect comeback 5 minutes too late. in the stairs
- NJank, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3ahh getting it too late... kind of like being the seventieth person to point this out...
- cowsgonemadd3, on 12/01/2008, -0/+3I am going to cry on my bed with my mommy because you said that.
-
Show 51 - 100 of 115 discussions
© Digg Inc. 2009
— Content created and posted by Digg users is