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116 Comments
- Mangotastic, on 09/06/2008, -1/+91thou shalt get thy bus money ready BEFORE getting on, otherwise thou shalt get a kick up thy anus
- a1cd, on 09/06/2008, -1/+51I take public transport everyday from a university.. and it is amazing how stupid people are there
- Group of loud girls with shrill voices-
"Oh my god! I cant believe they charge $500 a semester for parking!"
"I know eh!, I mean if you parked there everyday illegally and got a $15 ticket each day you would pay less a year!"
Or once our bus stooped at one of its largest terminals, this old lady walks up to the driver and asks
"Where Can I buy a ticket?"
"That big blue box lady, you put your money in and get a ticket"
The lady then walks BEHIND the ticket machine, stares at it for a few min, comes and asks
"I cant find out where to put the money in!" - kd420, on 09/06/2008, -0/+42Two days ago I saw some guy asking for change because he got off at the wrong bus station. He asked about 10 people while I was there and the whole time his pants were jingling with the sound of how much change he scammed out of people. Most of these things are pretty common sense, because if you don't follow one of these you'll usually get a death stare from those around you, like Ms. Mad Preggers in the comic.
- BoneheadFarker, on 09/07/2008, -0/+41I think I can top this.
One day, I'm sitting at the back of the bus when this weird guy dressed in shorts and a Hawaiian shirt sits on the opposite side. I just ignore him at first while I was reading the paper. And then I noticed he was staring at me with a big dumbass grin on his face. I just turned back to my paper and ignored him again. He then picks up this flyer laying in front of him and holds it like I'm holding my paper, all the while staring right at me. At this point I figure ***** it...I'm close enough to walk the rest of the way home, I'm getting away from creepy dude. So I get off.
A year later, I'm sitting in the back of the bus while waiting for it to leave. As I'm looking around, I see creepy dude walk out of the terminal. He looks at me, stops dead with big grin on his face, and then runs to get on the bus. He comes jogging to the back, then sits on me and just starts jiggling on top of me like he's having a seizure while repeating "hey buddy...hows it goin..." over and over again. I push the creep off me and go sit at the front of the bus, making sure I still had everything on me. Thankfully creepy dude stayed at the back and annoyed the other guy sitting back there.
That's just one of the many strange things I've experienced while riding the bus... - edwartica, on 09/07/2008, -1/+37Hmm. Maybe, maybe not. When I see this happen on the bus, often times the girl just wants to be left alone. I guess one amendment to this would be "thou shalt read body language and take cues well."
- cl2yp71c, on 09/07/2008, -0/+33Reminds me...there was this one time, I was taking the subway home, and this homeless person throws down his hat and says "there's the hat and now here's the show", then he starts singing "Imagine" while playing his guitar- quite proficiently in fact. I couldn't help but throw him a 5$ in his hat.- Keep in mind that this was the subway, and he was standing while playing his guitar and NOT holding on to anything.
- shto, on 09/06/2008, -5/+33Thou shalt take a seat next to a beautiful girl and start a conversation. more people need to follow this one
- ModernChem, on 09/07/2008, -3/+31dugg for "mad preggers" shirt
LOL - thrillki1l, on 09/07/2008, -2/+30the 11th rule should be if you weigh more than 300 lbs you can't sit down because your ass takes up 2 seats.
- edwartica, on 09/07/2008, -2/+29Thou shalt notice if a passenger is limping, and offer them your seat. As someone who has deformed feet, I cannot stress this enough. I can't count the ammount of times I've had to stand, despite being in excruciating pain while the Jr highers take up the priority seating.
- Whackly, on 09/07/2008, -2/+24vuthy,
I don't disagree that men don't always read a woman's body language well but then again my experience that women wouldn't have to worry about men catching their signals if they'd just speak up and actually say what they mean or what they are thinking once in a while. - CobaltBlue, on 09/07/2008, -0/+22I first read that as he threw up in his hat. It made the rest of the story much more intriguing.
- vuthy, on 09/07/2008, -2/+23When I'm on my way to work early in the morning, the last thing I want to deal with is trying to be nice (because I usually am a nice person) while some guy tries to make small talk. Seems that most men do not get pretty clear body language such as me keeping my arms crossed, not making eye contact, giving one-word answers, or hell, even me putting my earbuds in! One guy asked me "How are you?" and all I said was "Fine." He then waited a minute and said "That's pretty rude of you not to ask me back how I'm doing."
Ugh! Get a clue!
It's fine to try to talk to a girl if you have something to talk about (interesting t-shirt, book, magazine, etc.), but learn to take cues. - BrewBeau, on 09/07/2008, -0/+17True enough, but if they don't sit then you can't get around them. I've gotten stuck on a train because a fatty and a stroller were in the doorway.
- mauso, on 09/07/2008, -4/+20You're an idiot.
- colonels1020, on 09/07/2008, -0/+12I dont drive, I use public transportation, I read until i reach my destination, sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book, the amount of money i save, this *****'s off the hook.
- JohnFlux, on 09/07/2008, -0/+12I once really did get off the wrong bus station and then had to ask people for change. Nobody gave me any, and the station master called cops :(
- d3sapar3cid0, on 09/07/2008, -0/+12I ride CTA in Chicago almost every day and these are definitely rules that more people need to abide by. 5 needs to be amended to include people who think they are R&B singers or that hitting a bucket with sticks is some kind of skillful performance.
- mastazed, on 09/07/2008, -2/+13They need these up on every train.
***** School kids talking way too loud in the morning and ***** old people for having nothing better to do than hold everyone else up. - edwartica, on 09/07/2008, -1/+12I do, but sometimes its a matter of pulling teeth getting them to give up their seat even if I ask nicely. I get reactions like "well, why don't you have a cane or a wheelchair or something?"
- kenplaysviola, on 09/08/2008, -0/+10Check out Craigslist's "missing connection" posts. There are always girls (in San Francisco) on there posting subjects like, "To the cute guy with a bike riding BART..." or "The shy guy staring at me with a blue shirt reading Shakespeare on BART this evening..." (BART is our public subway)
Some girls want you to talk to them, and some girls don't. Might as well take the shot and see what happens. If you annoy girls like vuthy, then thank them for their time and find your next victim. Never hurts to try. - imLissy, on 09/07/2008, -0/+10riding the bus at school was always an adventure. Especially when you're short and you can't really reach the bar to hold on. I spent 15 minutes swinging into people one time before someone offered me their seat.
what really mad me mad though, when the bus was packed, there were about 30 people standing, and some kid is using up a perfectly good seat for his BACKPACK! I never wanted to hurt someone so badly. - ncapone, on 09/07/2008, -1/+11What about the people who have their knees and feet in the aisle and you have to walk to the back of the bus/subway because a ton of people are getting on and you have to walk over their flabby knees and sausage toes while carrying a heavy computer bag with books in it and people don't bother to move their feet out of the way so you don't stumble and break your face on the filthy floor?
(gasp for air) - digghasnoethics, on 09/07/2008, -0/+9If thou ist a tall busty Swedish blonde thoust shall stand directly in front of me on a crowded train. particularly if thoust is likely to fall forward as the train jerks to a stop.
- cl2yp71c, on 09/07/2008, -2/+11But...but......I have a pimple.
- JohnFlux, on 09/07/2008, -3/+12lol, jer21 is an idiot too :P
- inactive, on 09/07/2008, -2/+11Thou shalt have your money or pass ready BEFORE you get to where you pay.
thou shalt NOT sit on the aisle seat when the other one is empty. - pintomp3, on 09/07/2008, -0/+9happened to me once, but someone eventually did give me a couple dollars. having to ask strangers for money was a terrifying experience for a shy teenager.
- ref-d, on 09/07/2008, -0/+8But ***** school kids is fine with you?
- DoctorFaust, on 09/07/2008, -1/+9It's more like a comic, actually...
- sinkhead, on 09/07/2008, -0/+8I wish I could Digg you up so many times...
- Murrabbit, on 09/07/2008, -0/+8***** having rules of politeness for Mass Transit, I live in Phoenix Arizona, I'd ***** kill just to have any mass transit at all! They could flog me with flaming hot cactus the entire time and it'd still be an improvement over this car-mandatory urban sprawl.
- PathDaemon, on 09/07/2008, -1/+9No, see, 90% of the time, someone is blocking your way (or whatever) unknowingly. Asking nicely will end better for both of you.
Being in NYC doesn't give you the right to be an *****. - kenplaysviola, on 09/08/2008, -0/+8What about the horrific body odor? ALWAYS someone on the bus smells like B.O..
- TheSabre, on 09/07/2008, -0/+7In the New Testament, these 10 Commandments were replaced by the one, most important commandment the FSM can give to us: Thou shalt be considerate of others. That would solve all public transportation woes.
- feliks2, on 09/08/2008, -0/+7I think its funny listening to other peoples stupid phone conversations.
- Judacious, on 09/08/2008, -0/+7you're fat
- pilot3033, on 09/07/2008, -1/+8In NYC you shouldn't be afraid to just yell something like "hey move it!"
People are dumb sometimes and trying to be polite about it isn't going to get you anywhere. - chriso1281, on 09/07/2008, -0/+7I think every transit agency in the world should post this in every station and vehicle.
- Brad324, on 09/07/2008, -0/+7I'd normally defend cracked... but this one was stupid indeed.
- thrillki1l, on 09/07/2008, -0/+6ya you do have a point BrewBeau. maybe the bus should charge double like the airlines. maybe then they'll walk and will loose some weight.
- wrzhydr, on 09/07/2008, -0/+6I guess it would be funnier if I could relate to any of these. Public transport in Tampa is almost non-existent.
- chriso1281, on 09/07/2008, -2/+8Thou hast not used public transportation, apparently.
- kamikaze134, on 09/07/2008, -3/+9$15/day * 3 months/semestre (minimum) * 4.3 weeks/month * 7 days/week
= $1354.50 /semestre
Better to buy the $500 parking pass. - afruff23, on 09/07/2008, -0/+55 days/week if you're commuting.
- vuthy, on 09/07/2008, -1/+6What irks me is how those exiting often push and rush to get out so they can run to the escalators. They end up making a big traffic jam and blocking the stairs. The stairs are often faster but still tons of people wait in the crowd to go up the escalators. And many of those people SHOULD be taking the stairs!
- jbak, on 09/07/2008, -0/+5http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1acbKvMA8uc
- ssreject, on 09/07/2008, -1/+6As a train rider, I carry earplugs and scented air spray to guard against the loud and smelly. I also avoid sitting next to anyone on cell phones.
Here are more commandments to add:
Thou shalt not talk about your cheating boyfriend, bowel impactation or your 12 step program on your phone for the whole train to hear.
Thou shalt not fart, clip your nails, or stick your nasty, callousy feet up on the seat next to someone.
Thou shalt not argue loudly with police in riot gear who have to inspect the train you are on that just hit a car and killed a family. (Real Life Experience! Stupid Miami yuppie!)
Thou shalt not play with the MP3's loaded onto your cell phone as if you are listening to a real radio. - kalleanka, on 09/07/2008, -1/+6You really should have the courage to tell the guy sitting "excuse me, my legs are hurting, do you think I could sit in disability chair", I'm sure 98% of all people would apologize for sitting there and give the seat to you.
Most people just sit there and go away if they see an elderly or disabled person entering the bus. They don't know you are in pain.
I know, ideally they would not take the seat at all, but most people (me too probably) would take it and be happy to give it up if someone else needs it. - borez, on 09/07/2008, -2/+7Though shalt not wear heavy perfume or eat smelly food.
Though shalt not use your cellphone unless it is urgent.
Though shalt learn the principles of basic hygiene.
Though shalt not play hand held games with the sound turned on.
etc. etc. etc. -
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