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  • dtele, on 05/19/2008, -9/+792I love the signature... and then the printed name underneath (just in case she wasnt sure who it was).
    • NucleaRR, on 05/19/2008, -1/+56He was trying to make it a formal business letter. It is after all a solicitation for a contract. Isn't it?
    • HHP2K, on 05/19/2008, -0/+288That was a rockin' signature. Wtf.
      • mrASSMAN, on 05/20/2008, -1/+13Seriously.. the whole letter has crappy handwriting and then suddenly it turns into a beautiful signature and then back to ugly..

        My signatures look almost as ***** as Bill Gate's.
      • CthulhuDawn, on 05/20/2008, -0/+10We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union...
    • punkcat, on 05/19/2008, -1/+61he is a doctor.
    • teambosun, on 05/19/2008, -2/+30--T (Tobias)
      • DatoeDakari, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1XD If I could double digg that, I would, I love that show
    • arcanesmile, on 05/19/2008, -3/+35the sig rocked. and the letter was so cute!
    • defy, on 05/19/2008, -1/+119Great signature, I hope he's not 32 or something.
      • dopplerdog, on 05/20/2008, -2/+21He is, in fact, a 32 year old digger. He's obviously one of the more experienced with women among us, as he clearly managed to get a girlfriend. Good thing he's showing us how it's done.
        • WallnutBoy, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1Hint: Submitters do NOT submit original content.
    • Fordi, on 05/19/2008, -2/+26Yeah. Completely adorable!

      By the by, why is it that we, as humans in general, find the earnest missteps and ignorance of youth to be the cutest thing in the world?
    • wickensworth, on 05/20/2008, -0/+44Jonathon is better known in history by his full name, John Hancock
      • Dzonatas, on 05/20/2008, -18/+0John is not a short name for Jonathan. Two different names with different meanings.
    • sdfguy, on 05/20/2008, -7/+5Hello my future girlfriend.
    • brundlefly76, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1that note brings up so many memories - ALL OF THEM ENDING IN PAIN. ;)
  • halobender, on 05/19/2008, -15/+1161It's painfully awkward just reading that.
    • wild, on 05/19/2008, -4/+122Its painfully awful just remembering that.
      • amirman, on 05/20/2008, -2/+19it's painfully awkward receiving that.
      • redmyse, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2It's painfully awkward trying to forget it.
      • gyrfalcon, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3It's awkward painfully screwing up the string.
    • seth123qq, on 05/19/2008, -4/+220its painfully awkward knowing that that guy probably has an account on digg.
      • yaddayaddayoda, on 05/20/2008, -2/+39What's painful is that he wore his heart on his sleeve and someone scanned it in... and the whole world can now see that gangly teenager in the glory of his awkwardness. If this had happened to me back in the day, instead of Suzy Jenkins just showing the letter to her friends and having a gigglefest at my expense, I think I'da jumped in front of a train. Give the guy a break
        • miggie, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3Why would someone put this on the net that poor kid.
          :-(
        • andburn1, on 05/20/2008, -1/+9I'm thinking elementary or middle school. Probably not high school. High schoolers are too self-conscious to do this kind of *****.
        • iheartrendering, on 05/20/2008, -1/+6Yeah seriously. *****, 15 years ago that could've been me!
        • legoalert33, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Star Wars kid anyone?
        • mikephimikephi, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3I did Suzy Jenkins!
        • Solis, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1Why can't this person be in his 20's? Why must he be a kid?
    • drewedman, on 05/19/2008, -5/+57it's even more painful that the user probably is 18
    • xtinamo, on 05/19/2008, -7/+113Worst part is that guy was her teacher.
    • smizacks02, on 05/20/2008, -3/+5Indeed.

      +1
    • funkedup, on 05/20/2008, -7/+6He can probably get more girls than most diggers...
      • nolemonplease, on 05/20/2008, -0/+4Well he managed to get at least one.
    • da_bradler, on 05/20/2008, -3/+7It's painfully awkward that he references other girls shooting him down, thus implying he is scraping the bottle of the barrel.
      • dancantone, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3That would be the BOTTOM of the barrel! How would you have a bottle of the barrel? The way some people perceive things, I bet there's some really confused folks wandering around hating life for the dumb sayings like bottle of the barrel not making any sense. lmao
      • samgab, on 05/20/2008, -0/+4"bottle of the barrel". I lolled. :D
    • Janv1er, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2I thought it was really sweet :)
  • SeaweedWater, on 05/19/2008, -7/+503I put the final copy on a letterhead, get off my back..
    • juniorb, on 05/19/2008, -3/+33Dugg for rough drafts.
    • sarixe, on 05/20/2008, -0/+34Dugg for rough drafts with elaborate signatures.
    • samgab, on 05/20/2008, -0/+6Dugg for rough drafts with elaborate signatures and footnotes.
  • UBERMAN5000, on 05/19/2008, -26/+640Someone wont be getting laid for a very long time
    • BoonTobias, on 05/19/2008, -5/+135we all know what that's like, what's your point?
    • czeman, on 05/19/2008, -13/+2...or ever!
    • wild, on 05/19/2008, -6/+298This is Digg, not your diary.
      • brkhobowriter, on 05/20/2008, -1/+39Would you like some ice with that burn?
      • MixMasterK, on 05/20/2008, -3/+8i think ointment would go to better use...
      • mrASSMAN, on 05/20/2008, -0/+19God DAMN.. rush this man to the ER burn unit stat!
    • jawagas, on 05/19/2008, -6/+43Oooh Burn.
    • glock22ownr, on 05/19/2008, -5/+23Betcha he will if he asks REAL nice! And says please !!
      • BlackMask, on 05/20/2008, -9/+1saying please is a bit gay if u ask me
        • RxDaniel, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8I don't think asking a woman to have sex with you can ever be gay,unless you are a woman.
      • andburn1, on 05/20/2008, -0/+10Which is why you'll never be getting laid, assbag.
      • sarge96, on 05/20/2008, -0/+5Dugg for assbag
    • greenblob, on 05/20/2008, -1/+5Me?
    • Moses410, on 05/20/2008, -1/+14Aww, if he just gets with someone who will teach him how he'll be fine
      • itsgotyou, on 05/20/2008, -5/+1And I'm sure you're ready to step up the the plate right? Have a seat over there.
    • NitrousFlare, on 05/20/2008, -2/+7Dude sounds pretty sweet, he'll most likely get laid.

      No *****.
    • jimjoke, on 05/20/2008, -0/+7It might take a while to get to third base with all this paper work.
  • suzywang3000, on 05/19/2008, -53/+9i'm surprised this hasn't hit failblog.org yet...

    and who the hell can't spell "too"?
    • franklymister, on 05/19/2008, -1/+45Um, perhaps a sixth grader, you know, the kind who would write a note like this?
      Leave the kid alone. What's next, are you going to tell us how you could totally kick his ass at dodgeball?
      • shutaro, on 05/19/2008, -0/+27...I bet he totally could. I've seen him play dodgeball, that kid wouldn't stand a chance.
      • IllBeBack, on 05/19/2008, -10/+8Hmmm, both my fourth and second grader know the difference between to, too, and two.

        If you don't know basic spelling and grammar in your native language, it's because you have lazy and/or stupid parents who did not deem it necessary to put in the time necessary for you to be a literate individual but instead someone that is completely dismissed by other intelligent people every time they have to read your poorly-written crap on the Internet or elsewhere that fails to meet even fourth-grade standards.
        • spaulo, on 05/19/2008, -1/+15Ditto if you write long-winded gas bag run-on sentences, douche.
        • Onyxblaze, on 05/19/2008, -2/+1Precocious bastards. (They know what that means?)
        • elmafudd, on 05/19/2008, -1/+2You mean, grammar, like not having really long sentences?
        • tutfire, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1I'm not sure you know what a run-on sentence actually is, but I'll tell you that's not one. It's perfectly fine grammatically, but still annoying to read on the internet. For example look at MLK's "Letter From Birmingham Jail." He has HUGE sentences in there, but it's all perfectly correct grammar.
    • philippbock, on 05/19/2008, -1/+36Yeah, it’s not to hard too spell, is it? (Though I must admit I used too make that mistake to.)
      • se1zure, on 05/19/2008, -1/+22You to made the mistake more than too times.
      • matt646, on 05/19/2008, -1/+24Adding my comment too this thread was just to tempting two pass up.
      • skyroket, on 05/20/2008, -9/+1I wish I could Digg you guys two times.
        • Danby123, on 05/20/2008, -1/+6you mean too times?
        • skyroket, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2I was going for the [Dumb * -1 = Smart] and you guys didn't get it!!
        • Danby123, on 06/03/2008, -0/+1skyroket....

          really sorry.
    • twiztidsinz, on 05/19/2008, -3/+15"and who the hell can't spell "too"?"

      Greetings susywang3000,
      Since you seem to be new here let me welcome you to teh internets.
    • artfiend77, on 05/20/2008, -9/+0"and who the hell can't spell "too"?"

      Umm, you're standerd dig user.
      *errors placed on purpose to illustrate point*
    • LeonidasStokely, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1/sarcasm

      Please, please let suzywang3000 be sarcastic. Otherwise, my faith in humanity may be shattered for ever.
      • artfiend77, on 05/21/2008, -0/+0Read her other posts, and you'll see that sarcasm is not in her vocabulary.
  • BeeArePro, on 05/19/2008, -4/+146I love the ending...


    please !
    • computerusr, on 05/20/2008, -12/+1Its not really the ending, its a note.
    • IglooBurner, on 05/20/2008, -0/+0haven't had a lot of girlfriends... yet...
      that might give Jessica the wrong impression.
  • PinkFloydFan, on 05/19/2008, -9/+489What's the honey point? Sounds kinky!
    • halobender, on 05/19/2008, -22/+2Honey pot...
      • Modestexcuse, on 05/19/2008, -2/+14I think he's referring to calling each other honey. Now I'm curious if you were serious. I lose either way.
      • JacksonYaya, on 05/19/2008, -1/+9They didn't show page two (too, to?) where he asks if it's too (two, to?) soon for anal.
    • punkcat, on 05/19/2008, -13/+85point where you call each other Honey i think is what he is saying.
      • anaesthetica, on 05/20/2008, -3/+41WHOOSH!------>joke
        ------------------------------
                           O
        punkcat->   /|
                           /
        • po43292, on 05/20/2008, -0/+18Is he on a pogo stick?
        • punkcat, on 05/20/2008, -0/+61no i have a bad back, misaligned spine.
        • anaesthetica, on 05/20/2008, -1/+10Apparently Digg strips about backslashes. Makes punkcat look one-sided with no left arm or leg...
        • EllimistX, on 05/20/2008, -2/+13Either that or he's looking down to discover his penis is gone....
    • drewedman, on 05/19/2008, -16/+10the "honey" point; u know.. when you call each other "honey"
      • geoboy, on 05/20/2008, -3/+3And here I thought it was the part of the relationship where things get... sticky.
      • Issius, on 05/20/2008, -2/+2As in like...the we're married stage?
        Who the hell calls each other honey anymore except for the old ladies working as cashiers...and creepy guys.
    • LtXenodite, on 05/19/2008, -19/+7Honey I shrunk the kids!
      • wjackson, on 05/19/2008, -3/+5..fail.
      • nedev, on 05/19/2008, -4/+5Honey I tied that joke down and raped it!
      • skyroket, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2Oh please. The Digg community failed on this one. We give props to Nintendo and Goonies, but we bury "Honey, I Shrunk The Kids"???

        Hey didn't it have that one guy from Ghost Busters that put the coat in the closet on that devil dog thing? We should at least vote it up for that guy!
        • Pulch, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2Rick Moranis. He's my guy, he's my Elvis.
    • n0sferatu, on 05/20/2008, -2/+50I still say it's some sort of food fetish.
    • mostfynest, on 05/20/2008, -15/+4No he knows what it means, the metaphor being honey point, as in a penis that squirts out honey instead of cum. You silly billys!
      • Smoo930, on 05/20/2008, -0/+9There was a line with a "no crossing sign" about 10 feet back.
    • vulkan, on 05/20/2008, -8/+2hahahahaha
      the head of the peeeenisssss. honey... point... lol
    • turkoftheplains, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1I think it involves running an apiary.
    • Jacolyte, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3It's when you poke her with your honey pointer.
  • sougly, on 05/19/2008, -10/+606Good looking people can get away with ***** like that. It's cute and adorable when a good looking guy does that, but creepy and awkward when an ugly guy does it.
    • ladon86, on 05/19/2008, -5/+248It's the same with sexual harassment in the workplace.









      I should know.
      • consoneo, on 05/19/2008, -2/+33That's a great comment. Cause it's pretty true. :)
        • Issius, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1Also there's a short with that joke on youtube...
          But if it made you laugh then more power to ya.
      • TomTruelle, on 05/20/2008, -1/+13Best comment ever.
    • shutaro, on 05/19/2008, -4/+158...it's even creepier when Grandpa does it.
    • ThReAtEnEd, on 05/19/2008, -10/+4you would know sougly?
    • Kronos6948, on 05/19/2008, -1/+17Hey, wait...I've been told my letters like that were creepy and awkward!
    • Oea420, on 05/19/2008, -9/+93you know... 'good looking' is easier to achieve than you think...

      first and foremost your attitude and how you think of yourself will determine a good portion of what other people think of you


      keep clean, shave, comb and cut your hair.... brush your teeth, don't get too overly fat (a little is workable, trust me, i know)...

      present yourself with gusto and bravado, be bold, whacky, life of the place

      make people laugh


      omg you're attractive suddenly, and not just to women! you'll notice a lot of guys will start looking up to you and want to be your friend...

      am i creepy yet?
      • jftitan, on 05/20/2008, -0/+55You are so creepy that I want to be your new friend.

        /creepy
      • ahthrift, on 05/20/2008, -1/+6So true!
      • akamurph, on 05/20/2008, -1/+10You don't need to shave to be 'good looking', lots of chicks digg the scruff on your face... note: scruff > long-ass beard.
        • darkshadowfor, on 05/20/2008, -1/+2Truly said...lots of girls digg beards. ;)
        • Issius, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2Depends. You have to be able to actually grow one...
          And not everyone pulls off scruffy. Some guys try and fail miserably. You basically just have to know what suits you and you'll be fine. There are some people however...that are just ugly and nothing can be done, but it's a small percentage.
        • Oea420, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3yeah you're right, I was just saying.... don't go about sporting the hobo look... doesn't bode well

          I like the 2-day shadow look myself, but when kissing and such, a lot of girls totally hate stubble, worse than full hair.. sandpaper
        • EatMeat, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2scruffy=weak-in-the-knees

          and if you're ugly, it works to cover up a bit of your face. see? works for everyone.
      • shadovvman, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Yes.
      • muffinmonk, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1Cue the "Do I make you feel creepy" song by Weird Al
        • Pulch, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3It's "Do I Creep You Out". Jesus man, you're on the internet, Google it before you post.
    • MarvinGalaxy, on 05/20/2008, -2/+50Be Handsome.
      Be Attractive.
      Don't be Unattractive.

      Follow these simple rules and you too can have sex with women at work without losing your job.
      • Kronos6948, on 05/20/2008, -0/+10Or...

        Forego your first 3 rules, and be rich. You can be rich and a disgusting cripple, with a third eye and one huge tooth coming out of your mouth, and some hottie will want to have sex with you. Especially if you're old.
      • ultrasparc, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1I can account for that. I do it all the time :-D
    • Identity4, on 05/20/2008, -1/+2Damn!
    • rypic7, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3i think your comment will speak worlds to diggers. thanks for reminding us.
    • mason215, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8actually good looking guy wouldn't even have to do that
    • holiday, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1and it's awesome!
    • moush, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3You have alot of experience with ugly guys writing you letters?
  • davebots, on 05/19/2008, -55/+270Dude all you need to know is: two in the goo, one in the poo.
    • wild, on 05/19/2008, -7/+69Ever tried it? Sounds like a great idea. Until the next day when you are surfing digg, chin resting in your hand, and you absent-mindedly start digging for boogers with your pinky.
      • TacticalPenguin, on 05/19/2008, -2/+51Obviously diggers don't shower
        • Patori, on 05/20/2008, -0/+4"You know how long it takes for that smell to come off? Scrub all you want, it'll stick around for at least two days. How does he explain it to his colleagues and family? They'll think he doesn't know how to wipe his ass properly."
      • sadsadrobot, on 05/19/2008, -1/+36You described exactly what I am doing. Bravo.
      • Patori, on 05/19/2008, -7/+4Been there, done that.
      • mrhedges, on 05/20/2008, -1/+5That's what soap is for.
      • TokenWhiteGuy, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8You never go ass to mouth! or nose.
    • Akraz, on 05/19/2008, -18/+152Actually, its 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink. Idiot.
      • smokeydbear, on 05/19/2008, -2/+125Damn, did the International Shocker Commission finally agree on pink/stink as the canonical rhyme of shocker explanation? I know the debate has been raging; I'm so glad a consensus was finally reached.
      • TheFinaleofSeem, on 05/19/2008, -6/+93No, it's two in the grass, one in the ass. Jagoff.
      • Scaryclouds, on 05/19/2008, -4/+102No it's two in the hairy one in the scary.
      • quisph, on 05/19/2008, -3/+79Two in the cooter, one in the tooter.
      • hitdrumhard, on 05/20/2008, -6/+42Two in the cooch, one in the pooch?

        eh. It was a stretch. (Insert 'That's what she said' joke here.)
      • vickers500, on 05/20/2008, -10/+5*insert lame joke that ends up in an epic buzzkill*
      • ladon86, on 05/20/2008, -2/+5Two in the growler, one in the howler.
    • gfxl, on 05/19/2008, -6/+169ALL IN THE POO!!
      • TheFinaleofSeem, on 05/19/2008, -3/+26Someone has been watching a bit too much porn over at Fistinglessons.com...
        • Gizza, on 05/20/2008, -0/+26Alright, show of hands, who just went to that url?
        • dumpyhumpy, on 05/20/2008, -0/+12i didnt, but mind telling me what you found?
        • jawbreaker4fs, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2 , - - . - - . _
          ------" _, ___)
          / _/____)
          //(____)
          ------ (__)
          `- - - - - "

          Edit: new comment system doesn't like my ASCII art :(
      • greenlight2001, on 05/19/2008, -0/+51Everybody outta the poo!
      • danthemanhan, on 05/20/2008, -0/+5you just made me spit mountain dew all over my keyboard you ass!
    • burketo, on 05/19/2008, -12/+6two in the pink, one in the stink.
    • TheFinaleofSeem, on 05/19/2008, -7/+200Two in the coot, one in the boot.
      Two in the slut, one in the butt.
      Two go to town, one in the brown.
      Two in the grass, one in the ass.
      Two in the trap, one in the crap.
      Two in the gash, one in the trash.
      Two in the pie, one in the eye.
      Two in the bush, one in the tush.

      I could do this all day...
      • Wolfspirittt, on 05/19/2008, -1/+43"I'm going to rock out with my ***** out and you're going to jam out with your clam out"

        --NPH
        • scojerroc, on 05/20/2008, -0/+21i'm just gonna hang out with my wang out.
      • tomjm5000, on 05/19/2008, -1/+30Thanks for cutting yourself off, then.
      • danr2c2, on 05/20/2008, -2/+3Two in the pink, one in the stink.
      • JerseySlam, on 05/20/2008, -10/+6Two in the *****, one in the knot.
      • pault107, on 05/20/2008, -1/+134Two in the vagina, one in the rectum.
      • TheGooseyOne, on 05/20/2008, -0/+6no one has taken two in the snapper one in the crapper yet?
    • nard3456, on 05/19/2008, -11/+3immature all of you
      • strangewill, on 05/19/2008, -1/+5Hey we're past that point of the whiny bitch in high school that would say that in her whiny bitch voice as if she's better than everyone else.
      • TheFinaleofSeem, on 05/19/2008, -2/+6You're on Digg and you're whining about immaturity? That's like a gay Jewish black guy in drag whining about all the jerks at the KKK convention.
      • itsgotyou, on 05/20/2008, -0/+7Oh yeah?! Well, you're a poophead.
    • pdarg, on 05/19/2008, -0/+11dont forget the lobster claw
    • SwitchXFactor, on 05/19/2008, -3/+4VAGOOOOO
    • Indarios, on 05/19/2008, -6/+32 in the meat 1 in the skeet
    • Junpei, on 05/19/2008, -2/+93Two in the beaver, one checkin' for fever.
      Aw right.
    • jebaird, on 05/20/2008, -7/+12 in the pink, 1 in the stink
    • themonkman, on 05/20/2008, -9/+5I just call it "The Shocker".

      .!!.!
    • DixonPro, on 05/20/2008, -0/+25Two in the pink, one in the stink (Classic); Two where she expects them, one in the rectum (hence the name "Shocker");Two in town, one in the brown; Two in the beaver, one checking for fever; Two in the grass, one in the ass; Two near the *****, one in the *****; Two in the boomer, one checking for tumors; Two in the pubes, one Gleaming the Cube (80's); Two where you get nookie, one in the Wookie (Star Wars); Two in the coot, one in the chute; Two in the womb, one in the tomb; Two in the snapper, one in the crapper; Two in the hoo-haa, one in the ca-ca; Two in the honey, one where it ain't sunny; Two where there's sentiment, one where there's excrement (College prep); Two in the rye, one in the brown eye; Two in the cat, one in the scat; Two in the city, one where its *****; Two in the cooter, one in the pooter; Two where its fishy, one where its squishy; Two in the pipe, one where its ripe; Two where it's kinky, one where its stinky; Two where she shaves, one in the cave; Two in the clam, one in the ham; Two in the clinker, one in the sphincter
    • beldenge, on 05/20/2008, -0/+15two in the jelly, one in the smelly
    • moush, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2Goo?
    • bulleryan, on 05/20/2008, -1/+6Two in estrogen's womb, one in digestion's tomb.
    • Black6x, on 05/20/2008, -0/+27Variations:
      Teaser - 1 in the pink
      Pleaser - 2 in the pink
      Shocker - 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink
      Spocker - 2 in the pink, 2 in the stink (live long and prosper)
      Rocker - 3 in the pink, 1 in the stink
      Show Stopper* - 1 in the pink, 3 in the stink.

      *This may not only stop the show, but will probably cancel all future shows.
    • tyywebb, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2Man this just goes on forever...
    • TupacFan07, on 05/20/2008, -0/+32 in the slit, 1 in the pit.
    • MemeWarrior, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Two in the bud, one in the mud.
      Or if it's that time of the month:
      Two in the blood, one in the crud.
  • Thoric, on 05/19/2008, -13/+188Don't screw with him, he's just a nerdy guy in love. Half of you probable have been there sometime in your life..
    • greenblob, on 05/20/2008, -0/+19I'm not there yet...
    • jerichobp, on 05/20/2008, -2/+3I'm sorry, you must be new. Welcome to Digg.
    • turkoftheplains, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3This letter reminded me what it was like to have a heart-- and even what it was like to have a soul.'

      it was worth it, though, those salt and vinegar chips were delicious.
    • bonedead, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1If I was my handwriting wasn't nearly as good as that.
    • Buckybrain, on 05/20/2008, -0/+0This is DIGG. Most of us have been there half of our lives!
  • svtspeed, on 05/19/2008, -6/+602I cant tell if this came from a 10 year old kid or a fellow Digger. I'm betting the latter.
    • Modestexcuse, on 05/19/2008, -1/+66Either way, it surely is a future digger.
    • Hoov, on 05/20/2008, -1/+19Considering he had to make a list to get his point across I'd wager he's a digger.
      • greevar, on 05/20/2008, -0/+14Impossible! Diggers only deal in a ten point list.
        • kuyman, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8Don't forget seven point lists a la Cracked.com
      • julianrod, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3Yeah, but he didn't tag them correctly
        <ol>
        <li>
        </li>
        </ol>
      • luke374, on 05/20/2008, -0/+5The point is it's all on one page, so it's good to go.
    • bs0l, on 05/20/2008, -7/+9What's the difference?
    • Johnny1337h4x0r, on 05/20/2008, -3/+13It was most likely a 10 year old kid Digger, probably the same one that thinks the ant-eater pictures are funny.
      • bracketdash, on 05/20/2008, -1/+2With such a fancy signature? I don't know about you, but I hadn't caught on to the fancy signature writing until I got a credit card.
    • electroze, on 05/20/2008, -1/+2Yes, probably a publicity stunt.
  • czeman, on 05/19/2008, -45/+24Dude, just follow her lead. Kiss her when she moves in towards you. When she says,"I'll do something for you if you want me to", pull your ***** pants down! But whatever you do, don't make yourself look like a pansy by writing a note that like that!!!
    • dylio, on 05/19/2008, -5/+31PIHB:

      Pee
      In
      Her
      Butt
    • TheFinaleofSeem, on 05/19/2008, -4/+17And "no" really means "yes"!
    • requiem4themind, on 05/19/2008, -4/+5Yeah no one wants to be a pansy. I wish I was as macho as you are.
  • drader, on 05/19/2008, -17/+42Anyone else think this has to be in an episode of The Office next season?
    • Kayakityak, on 05/20/2008, -0/+0It would fit in nicely with what Dwight did to Kevin last week..

      "Oh, you can drive your own car?"
  • PolarBearCa, on 05/19/2008, -10/+420Awww. Wasn't that cute???

    I bet she dragged him into the backseat and rocked his world after reading that.*

    *SEE: Sympathy *****
    • wild, on 05/19/2008, -4/+151I prefer to call out another girl's name in the middle of the act.

      *SEE: Hate *****
      • shutaro, on 05/19/2008, -2/+201I prefer to call out the name of my favorite vegetable.*

        *SEE: Mind *****
        • TacticalPenguin, on 05/19/2008, -4/+117I prefer to program in complex languages.*

          SEE: Brain *****
        • shutaro, on 05/19/2008, -7/+37@TacticalPenguin: My hats off to you, good sir, for being able to program in complex languages while engaging in sexual intercourse (and, by extension, for being able to find yourself a woman who does not mind you programming in complex languages whilst engaging in sexual intercourse).
        • BlueSkyfish, on 05/19/2008, -0/+73After that happens, she usually ***** bricks.
        • max420, on 05/20/2008, -1/+46This entire thread is just awesome...
        • FadieZ, on 05/20/2008, -2/+16I prefer to submit stories to Digg.

          *SEE: This_is_why_I_love_Digg_379
        • NodOfficer, on 05/20/2008, -8/+3Semi-Epic Thread.
        • TacticalPenguin, on 05/20/2008, -1/+19Sadly I don't think many of you got the joke. ***** is a programming language and it only has eight commands which are >
        • TacticalPenguin, on 05/20/2008, -0/+11Oh crap, stupid HTML filter. The other one is a less than and then ,.+-[]
        • Synapse84, on 05/20/2008, -0/+10you mean these...
          > < + - . , [ ]
        • TacticalPenguin, on 05/20/2008, -0/+4yes, those. *slaps forehead for not thinking to use spaces*
        • Synapse84, on 05/20/2008, -0/+5wasn't spaces :P
          ><

          gotta use (without the spaces)
          "& gt ;" for greater than
          "& lt ;" for less than
      • Modestexcuse, on 05/19/2008, -1/+24That is called the rodeo. Hold on for eight seconds?
        • TacticalPenguin, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Better version is Polish rodeo
        • danwallace, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Oh I recall that one. It involved grape jelly and repeated punches to the face, no?
        • TacticalPenguin, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3No. Get it in a polish girl, tell her you have AIDs, and then try to keep it in for 8 seconds
    • requiem4themind, on 05/19/2008, -1/+15Where can I get one of those?
    • Dylan47, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2No, i don't think so.. that never happens...
    • publiclurker, on 05/20/2008, -3/+3"SEE"?

      You mean there are pictures?
    • turkoftheplains, on 05/20/2008, -0/+4I doubt it. Women like a bad boy. One with a roll of duct tape, a switchblade, a blister pack of Rohypnol, and all the time in the world-- or, uh, that's at least what I'm told.
    • rukeypoo, on 05/21/2008, -0/+0If by backseat you mean that last seat in the schoolbus that was smaller than the other 39 or so.

      Then yes.
  • Ninjao, on 05/19/2008, -14/+261You laugh.. but at least he's trying. I bet the little "yes" he got from Jessica is more action than some of you have or will ever have.
    • KingGorilla, on 05/19/2008, -0/+17Who's the real 7 billion ton robot monster here? Not I... Not I...
      • Nappuccino, on 05/20/2008, -1/+6INTERESTING STUFF!!!
        • acdcfanbill, on 05/20/2008, -0/+12You watched it... You can't un-watch it!

          Stay tuned for more Tales... of... Interest!
        • aigulf, on 05/20/2008, -4/+2you mean "Tales of Interest!!!"?
    • Ikulus, on 05/20/2008, -0/+4Well it's more than I've ever got.
  • chkdg8, on 05/19/2008, -2/+278"I haven't had a lot of girlfriends yet but just teach me what to do and what not to do! Please!"

    For the sake of the internet, give Jonathan a break Jessica.
  • JoeB4ever, on 05/19/2008, -4/+141This reminds me of my favorite pick up line at the bar.
    Grab a piece of paper/napkin and write on it "will you sleep with me?" Then make a box for yes and no. And pass it to her.

    It never works but always a good laugh.
    • oatdc, on 05/19/2008, -1/+193or only have a box for yes and if she doesn't check it off you can reuse it.

      reduce, reuse, recycle!
    • UtopiaInTheSky, on 05/19/2008, -2/+64You forgot "maybe".
    • solonGFX, on 05/19/2008, -18/+2Your favourite pickup line is to write on a napkin? I'm not surprised it never works!
      • scubaman5000, on 05/19/2008, -2/+2It's not the fact that it's on a napkin that it doesn't work... If he was good looking, attractive, funny, confident and had a large bank account I'm sure it would work just fine.
    • neko6, on 05/19/2008, -1/+46Will you sleep with me?
      Yes/No/Abort/Retry/Fail/Ignore
    • anagoge, on 05/19/2008, -1/+52Or, first you cut a hole in the box...
      • juniorb, on 05/20/2008, -9/+72. Put your junk in the box.
        3. Make her open the box.
        And that's the way you work it.

        Remember, children, finish what you start.
      • elbarto89, on 05/20/2008, -9/+3Step two, put your junk in the box....
    • MiamiRox, on 05/19/2008, -4/+16[ ] YES
      [X] NO
    • macxprt, on 05/19/2008, -2/+25[ ] YES
      [ ] NO
      [ ] Go F**k yourself
    • Jeepy, on 05/20/2008, -1/+114Would you like to dance?

      [ ] Yes
      [x] No
      ...

      Does this smell like chloroform?
      [ ] Yes
      [ ] No
    • moush, on 05/20/2008, -0/+12I wonder if that counts as consent if she puts it in yes?
  • ToastedZergling, on 05/19/2008, -53/+83Formula for Digg Success:
    Step 1. Write something pathetic
    Step 2. Put it on something physical
    Step 3. Add something quirky
    Step 4. Create an Image of Message (because diggers are so quirky unique and different, they'll catch it and be so excited they did and tell everyone in the comments how special they are)
    Step 5. Submit and become famous!
  • ChaosProfessor, on 05/19/2008, -4/+173he doesn't know if he is to the honey stage yet but he drops the "L" bomb
    • arobicha, on 05/20/2008, -1/+11What was he supposed to put? "Eternally grateful", "Like", "u r cumplete awesumxorz"? ... I kind of like the last one actually...
      • redneckblues, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Sincerely?
        • arobicha, on 05/20/2008, -0/+0Please... I put that on my correspondence with my supervisor. She's not his supervisor, she's some chick who's throwing him a bone.
    • thielen24, on 05/20/2008, -6/+0Implying anything with the cum in "cumplete"???
  • TheLoneWolf071, on 05/19/2008, -15/+58Aw. That's so cute. I miss High School
    • afidler, on 05/19/2008, -3/+68or Middle School
    • bracketdash, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3or Elementary School
    • turkoftheplains, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3I miss whenever it was that my heart was something other than an atherosclerosis-laden blood pump.
  • OffPiste, on 05/19/2008, -37/+9He needs to learn the fact the all women like sex. Some you just have to choke harder than others.
    • itsgotyou, on 05/20/2008, -1/+2It is true. You do learn something new each day.
  • famula, on 05/19/2008, -15/+7The workings of a future playaaaa!~~
  • Newportbeachguy, on 05/19/2008, -14/+16High school= great memories.

    /aging..:(
    • thetanbark, on 05/19/2008, -8/+3Forget not kissing the girls--you spelled like that in High School?
    • Newportbeachguy, on 05/20/2008, -1/+1I dugg you down, cause I spell like that now
    • gforce051, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3High school = great mammaries
    • Dylan47, on 05/20/2008, -3/+1High school = great mammal ears
    • diggrnumber1, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1how did someone who liked high school make it onto digg?
    • Asheis, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1High school = great monkey beers
  • DeskFlyer, on 05/19/2008, -6/+523Bitch uploaded my letter.
  • JosefH, on 05/19/2008, -12/+1Aww, sweet young love. Wait... what?
  • wukillabee, on 05/19/2008, -38/+146***** THING SUCKS!
    • Flea08, on 05/19/2008, -6/+33This will NEVER get old
    • uhhNo, on 05/20/2008, -1/+11i think it should written like this: "***** thing SUCKS!" I actually watched that video a few more times today and it was still funny :)
    • elbarto89, on 05/20/2008, -2/+32***** IT WE'LL DO IT LIVE!!
    • Nollykin, on 05/20/2008, -6/+5Am I the only one getting sick of someone posting this back to *every* digg?
      • bracketdash, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3Yes. Yes you are.
      • turkoftheplains, on 05/20/2008, -4/+1Digg needs robot9000-- er, I mean, I for one welcome our ***** THING SUCKS facepalms. I see what you did there. Ron Pa-- no wait, Obama 4 prez. Scientology sucks. Capitalism doesn't.

        (Digg me down mercilessly, I deserve it for being a smartarsed, self-referential *****.)
    • shagg187, on 05/20/2008, -0/+13I CANT READ IT, THERE'S NO WORDS ON IT!
    • baNd1t, on 05/20/2008, -3/+2how bout just FTS, or FIWDIL
    • Jacolyte, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1To play us out? What does that mean?
  • macfan93, on 05/19/2008, -0/+23That kid definitely goes on digg. He's gonna be pissed.
  • DJWingMan, on 05/19/2008, -13/+2how dose he have ***** a nice signature and this handwriting ***** sucks....WTF?
  • STPZ, on 05/19/2008, -2/+27What is in a name.....Mr. John Handcock
    • fr34k5h0w, on 05/19/2008, -1/+23Handcock huh? Try Hancock. Or Footpenis.
  • Hiltonizer, on 05/19/2008, -9/+29"I find your level of fail disturbing."
  • StarWarsFever, on 05/19/2008, -13/+8i just can't get "Hello My Future Girlfriend" (http://www.2atoms.com/comedy/worstoftheweb/blount. ... out of my head when i read that note

    same person perhaps?
  • MikeFallopian, on 05/19/2008, -1/+23Wow, what a rookie. Everyone knows the "honey point" question should be asked via facebook.
    • crazyjake, on 05/19/2008, -0/+3hey man, It's complicated!
    • acroyear2, on 05/19/2008, -2/+3what the hell is the honey point?
      • MikeFallopian, on 05/20/2008, -1/+11I think it's just made up, like unicorns or the clitoris.
    • Asheis, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1meh... it just sort.. happens.
  • bmcnally, on 05/19/2008, -6/+162Fake.

    I know it's fake 'cause there are no boxes to check for response.
    Also the shadows are off.
    • Moses410, on 05/20/2008, -0/+16And the reflections are all wrong!
    • cambob76, on 05/20/2008, -0/+19what kid has a signature like that?
    • SpeedSteamBoat, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3I can tell by some of the pixels.
      • yeskia, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1Yeah those pixels are definitely doing something shady...
    • ParanoydAndroid, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1... and from having seen a lot of 'shops ...
    • DefaultGen, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1"I know it's fake 'cause there are no boxes to check for response."

      You sir, need to be dugg many more times than my single digg up.
  • Dan11023, on 05/19/2008, -2/+6preschool was a fun time
    • acroyear2, on 05/19/2008, -0/+5Middle school was a fun time...
      and high school...
      and I guess for me, it carried over into college...
  • NickLB, on 05/19/2008, -8/+19That is officially adorable. Seriously.
  • AndrewDB, on 05/19/2008, -6/+56Do you like me check one..

    YES OR NO.


    *OR.

    DAMN IT!



  • spamcrusher, on 05/19/2008, -16/+65It would of got double the diggs if it ended .."PS, Obama '08!"
    • kcirtap6075, on 05/20/2008, -0/+7would've*
    • ElAmo, on 05/20/2008, -0/+2**would have got*ten*

      have indicates conditional tense, therefore you need gotten as opposed to got which is past perfect.
      • ParanoydAndroid, on 05/20/2008, -1/+2In being a grammar Nazi, you've opened yourself up for it:

        1.) "Have" does not indicate the conditional tense, as an auxiliary verb it only ever indicates the perfect tense.
        2.) Past perfect is the same as pluperfect, which would be "had got" not "have got." He used the present perfect.
        3.) "Would" implies the conditional, but the conditional perfect, so the required conjugation would be that of the conditional present perfect. This is formed in English the same as the indicative present perfect, since the conditional would only theoretically change the conjugation of "have" and not of that which follows; however, in English there exists no conditional form of the auxiliary "have."
        4.) Being the present perfect tense, the following word should always be the past participle of "to get," which is got; therefore, he was correct.
        5.) You would be correct only in the case that "to get" was conjugated in the purely conditional sense, not the conditional perfect sense. Though I can't think for the life of me right now of a good example.
      • turkoftheplains, on 05/20/2008, -0/+3"Have got" is quite acceptable English (even if "of got" isn't.) For those who don't speak American (i.e., limeys, aussies, kiwis, scots, irish, and possibly canucks), it is actually the only valid participle of "to get."
  • dstachio, on 05/19/2008, -6/+4He forgot the "Circle One - Yes or No or Maybe".
  • mangosinslo, on 05/19/2008, -7/+2the sad part about this is that it is actually possible for someone to use as a template.
    it IS digg!
  • archerOFloaf, on 05/19/2008, -14/+118She is going to have eating pussy 24/7. That poor kid is only going to be taught one position. His face will be a permenant glazed donut.
    • AngelX, on 05/19/2008, -1/+37Well at least that means he'll be getting more ass than most diggers
    • ajde, on 05/20/2008, -1/+36...wow, that's a terrible mental image. I don't think I'll ever enjoy a glazed donut again.
    • lizwearstights, on 05/20/2008, -5/+5"She is going to have eating pussy 24/7."

      Wow, I wish I could have eating pussy.
    • brdude, on 05/20/2008, -0/+25Tell me whats wrong with that again?
      • krisp9751, on 05/20/2008, -2/+0that terrible. The lady has to put in her work!
      • Eganj, on 05/20/2008, -1/+3If he's doing it right she'll be putting in plenty of work ;)
    • julianp, on 05/20/2008, -0/+6dugg for glazed donut
    • 4LeggedtriPod, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1I wish I could Digg that comment up twice.
  • astronomical, on 05/19/2008, -13/+1Is he young or stupid?
  • dampeal, on 05/19/2008, -18/+2this is on Digg why exactly?
    • arizonabay, on 05/19/2008, -0/+8Oh God. I was afraid of this.

      *****. Okay. Have a seat son. Sometimes when a person really, really likes something that they meet on the internet, they want to make that experience even more intimate and enjoyable. One way many people choose to do this is by submitting it to a social networking site. Now if other people decide that they also really, really like this article, they express their feelings by engaging in "digging" of the article -- just to show everyone their true feelings! Now if enough people express their feelings this way, a front page article is born.

      And that's how Digg articles are made. Now, be a good boy and fetch me a PBR.
  • AngelX, on 05/19/2008, -3/+42At least she won't have to worry about him cheating on her
    • joeTaco, on 05/20/2008, -2/+1At least he won't have to worry about her cheating on him.

      ...
  • myem, on 05/19/2008, -11/+10This is so adorable!
    • Frisbinator, on 05/19/2008, -3/+6Yeah right if a guy gave you a letter like that you would be like "What the? This is sooo creepy, this guy is like a total stalker, I'm just going to not tell him how strange I think he is and ignore him from now on."
  • StealthMonkey, on 05/19/2008, -7/+15These are some of the best comments I've read in a while. I almost fell out of my chair laughing!
  • punx, on 05/19/2008, -3/+34That was really sweet. That's why I love geeks.
    • Pfkninenines, on 05/20/2008, -0/+8Hey there, how's it going?

      Do I have a chance?
      [ ] Yes
      [ ] No
      [ ] I'm a guy
      • thoatt, on 06/01/2008, -0/+0[v/ ] Yes
        [ ] No
        [v/] I'm a guy


        (lol internet)
    • Mindsurfert, on 05/20/2008, -0/+1[ ] *****
      [ ] GTFO

      (lol internet)
  • Josky, on 05/19/2008, -1/+13Awwwww!
  • SSCrow, on 05/19/2008, -5/+124Kids got more game than me. :P
  • CynicSight, on 05/19/2008, -23/+171. Cute, somewhat awkward, love note
    2. ???
    3. Profit
    • kr3mliyn, on 05/19/2008, -3/+3I think you meant: -

      1. Adorable, somewhat cringe worthy note
      2. Add Diablo Cody's seal of o-so-innocent quirkyness
      3. ???
      4. Pussy?

      One day he'll put the Mac in MacDaddy. For now it'll have to stay emblazoned on his MacBook.
    • krakkinem, on 05/19/2008, -2/+7I think you mean:

      1. Cute, somewhat awkward, love note
      2. ???
      3. Pussy
    • Fadakar, on 05/20/2008, -2/+7No no, he clearly meant.

      1. Love note
      2. Butt *****

      Nothing in between, just butt *****.
      • skyknight304, on 05/20/2008, -0/+0The underpant gnomes will have you all.
  • ThePet, on 05/19/2008, -8/+1Heh... I was thoroughly confused until I read it a second time and realized it was a letter to JESSICA and not a letter to the supposed son of god, JESUS.
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