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Storyboards from Michael Bay's The Great Gatsby

cracked.com — Hey, Michael, thanks for sending over these storyboards, we're super psyched to have you on board for 'The Great Gatsby'. We did have a couple of issues. Nothing major, just some... Well, let's just get right into it.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jun 26, 2009

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97 Comments

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  • dlequyer, on 06/26/2009, -2/+97Really, anyone with even a cursory understanding of the difference between film and real life will be horrified when they see what you’ve done.

    We’ll give you $280 billion to make this movie by next summer.

    I really believe this is how all meetings with Bay end.
  • MegaSmack, on 06/26/2009, -5/+96"You kidding? I put the 'Gat' in 'Gatsby,' *****!"
  • itsmikey, on 06/26/2009, -0/+80Dugg for lots of things but especially Gatsby speaking exclusively in explosions.
  • Reebee52, on 06/26/2009, -0/+60I quite literally laughed until I cried. I was in my cubicle area, trying not to laugh out loud, tears pouring from my eyes, and doubled over in laughter. I think my spleen has ruptured. Do you think I can sue?

    "She has all the titties. It's so awesome."
  • FallenTurtles, on 06/26/2009, -1/+59Dear Cracked,

    Thank you for the hardest laugh I've ever had at my office. Ever. May the force be with you... in spaaaaaaace!

    Brian
  • commodorius, on 06/26/2009, -1/+58That mayor Wolfsheim part had me laughing out loud. At work. People are looking at me now....
  • lnxfi, on 06/26/2009, -1/+45In the past 6 months, Cracked.com has really stepped up their game. This article was awesome.
  • Flatearth112, on 06/26/2009, -2/+38This article is great because it is the goddamn truth.

    I've never found a way to articulately explain why I refuse to see his movies, but I think I will be using "offensive on all levels to anyone who is even vaguely aware of not just [fill in the blank], but of books in general and basic plot structure" from now on.
  • inactive, on 06/26/2009, -1/+33Well, nothing's going to top that today. Congratulations, Cracked, it took me an hour to get my 21-month-old to take a nap, and now I just woke her up with my idiot laughter.

    Boner explosion FTW.
  • dafragsta, on 06/26/2009, -1/+29"I really wanna stop giving that ***** guy dumptrucks full of cash that I know only lowers the general IQ of the populous, but goddammit, they keep going to see these ***** things, and somehow we always make it back twice over. *****!"
  • SkippyBiffles, on 06/26/2009, -2/+29Shia Labeouf was very slow on that first bite of the banana.
  • Hraes, on 06/26/2009, -0/+27Cannot digg this enough for "Do you think that all books are the same book?"
  • Gustomucho, on 06/26/2009, -3/+29Best xkcd ever !!!!
  • inactive, on 06/26/2009, -1/+26michael bay= blowing ***** up, linking park and titties..

    " a black dj at the gatbsy party he has Gold TEETH! FOOD STAMPS and is playing black music on his turn table"

    LOL omg

  • pyrextester, on 06/26/2009, -2/+25Freakin' Awesome!
  • davidsmero, on 06/26/2009, -0/+21This was better then Transformers 2.
  • akaakc, on 06/26/2009, -0/+20Seriously, probably one of the greatest pieces of work I've seen from Cracked. Absolutely hilarious. I probably look like a fool over here at my desk trying to conceal my laughter...but it was totally worth it.

    "Are you in this movie now?"
  • steelersfan7roe, on 06/26/2009, -5/+24***** linkn park.
  • luke374, on 06/26/2009, -0/+15And she has titties while doing it?!
  • inactive, on 06/26/2009, -0/+13So was the dump that I just took a while ago. Where's my $200 million budget for that BM?
  • Suilenroc, on 06/26/2009, -0/+11If you're a troll: Screw you.

    On the off chance that you're not: The Great Gatsby is one of the most respected pieces of American Literature produced in the 20th century. It's a story of power, money, love, and the movie has Sam Waterston. (AKA the old guy in Law and Order). It's a great read, and the movie is excellent.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_great_gatsby
  • protogenxl, on 06/26/2009, -0/+11This Reminds me of

    http://www.livevideo.com/video/099102C809C545CF9FA ...
  • jake1337, on 06/26/2009, -0/+10Ramen
  • ShoggothDreams, on 06/26/2009, -1/+11Yeah, I am glad at least Cracked somewhat brought to light the thinly veiled racism of most of Bay's movies: unless required otherwise, any non-white character will be subservient and/or ineffectual. Out of the numerous primary characters in Bayformers, every non-white character is either a buffoon, or must consistently be overshadowed by their white counterpart.
  • jawbreaker4fs, on 06/26/2009, -0/+9I was extremely worried until I saw it was from cracked.
  • Sulla72, on 06/26/2009, -2/+10Michael Bay is a complete fn' hack, he can't direct, and he has no taste. I'm glad I'm not the only one that feels this way, because this article cracked me up! ;)
  • darkphenox, on 06/26/2009, -0/+8DecoyQ you havn't seen transformers 2 yet have you
  • jayhawk88, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7Does Gatsby only speak in explosions now? Lol.
  • Jeepy, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7"Now, instead of Gatsby and Daisy being separated from the general population by their considerable wealth, they’ll be separated as a byproduct of them being the only property owners in an apocalyptic desert wasteland."

    I think this might be the funniest thing ever written on the interwebs. Hope more people have actually read the book as it makes the article 1000 times funnier.
  • mountain1488, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7Titties: Everywhere
  • chuckDontSurf, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7I'm still laughing. The only way to make that funnier would be to put him in the three-wolf T-shirt (that still says 'Mayor', of course).
  • Mittens27, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7^ Michael Bay fan.
  • inactive, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7MC Baha Men lol
  • cleric04, on 06/26/2009, -0/+7"I put the GAT in Gatsby"
  • Dronez, on 06/26/2009, -0/+6I thought this was real for a moment...
  • jake1337, on 06/26/2009, -1/+7"And then we put more explosions is like 'boooosh' whaaaah' 'crrsh."
    "Uh Mr. Bay, thats not a plot, those are just cg effects."
    "I don't see the difference"
  • Sunscreen, on 06/26/2009, -1/+7So we beat on...

    I ***** loved The Great Gatsby.
  • ShoggothDreams, on 06/26/2009, -0/+6No, sorry, you are thinking of Reddit. An easy mistake.
  • inactive, on 06/26/2009, -0/+5Cool story, drunkirish
  • samezies, on 06/26/2009, -0/+4Dugg for "Boner" Explosion
  • styx31989, on 06/27/2009, -1/+5You guys need to dragged out back and shot.
    I REALLY hope you don't breed.
  • onederboy, on 06/26/2009, -0/+4http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_bay_s ...
  • Hraes, on 06/26/2009, -0/+4Looking at his history, I think he's a troll.
  • inactive, on 06/26/2009, -0/+3^ Agreed....also...
    ^ *****-knocker
  • petethepanda, on 06/27/2009, -0/+3So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
  • T8erT0T, on 06/26/2009, -1/+4Cue: Linkin Park
  • Vindexus, on 06/26/2009, -0/+3I want some ASCII art of the bonersplosion.
  • loneraver, on 06/26/2009, -1/+4Daaaaaamn!
  • Vindexus, on 06/26/2009, -0/+3Dongtactular.
  • drmangrum, on 06/26/2009, -0/+3Needs more Boobs, Booty and Booms.
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