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Plastic Surgeon General Warns Of Small Breasts Epidemic

theonion.com — ccording to a report released Monday by U.S. plastic surgeon general Dr. Louis T. Saddler, an alarming number of American women are suffering from dangerously small breasts...

Who dugg this? Made popular Oct 22, 2008

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  • inactive, on 10/20/2008, -2/+173This is serious stuff... we need to come together and find a cure. That's why I'll be holding free breast exams at my place all weekend.
  • Trekhawk, on 10/21/2008, -1/+168If we don't act soon large, voluptuous breasts will be only a distant mammary.
  • imacoder, on 10/22/2008, -0/+148Ron Paul warned us of this in 1991.
  • diggpatt, on 10/20/2008, -2/+100"Sen. Wayne Allard (R-CO), head of the recently formed Itty-Bitty Titty Senate Subcommittee."

    Awesome.
  • elizabethb221, on 10/22/2008, -2/+71He just needed to get it off of his chest.
  • Merendino, on 10/22/2008, -2/+55You're really milking that pun for all its worth.
  • honthraj, on 10/22/2008, -4/+49Fake boobs suck.
  • Buckeye17, on 10/22/2008, -1/+43K I'll be over. You do males too right?
  • sunburner, on 10/22/2008, -1/+34The boy scouts beat you to it.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/video/12_year_old_ ...
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -4/+34BOOBIES!
  • kevinmotel, on 10/22/2008, -0/+27Why is this categorized as 'comedy'?? Don't you people know an epidemic when you see one?
  • GrmRpr3000, on 10/22/2008, -4/+30What's wrong with small boobs? Some of us sort of like them ¬_¬
  • pintomp3, on 10/22/2008, -2/+27nah, he was just being a boob.
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -0/+24As long as you have breasts.
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -1/+22Uhhh... YES!
  • AtraNoxVII, on 10/22/2008, -2/+23My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun.
  • TnTBass, on 10/22/2008, -1/+21From now on, I'm getting all my news from the Onion instead of Fox/CNN. I get just as much *****, but in a much more entertaining fashion!
  • IphtashuFitz, on 10/22/2008, -2/+20http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q17/ihnrva/fark ...
  • amr05h, on 10/22/2008, -1/+18some of us sort of have them ;_;
  • galv0, on 10/22/2008, -3/+19I love big boobs.
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -1/+16some of us would like to get to know them ;)
  • yojiffyskippy, on 10/22/2008, -0/+14They'll reach puberty some day. Now have a seat right over there.
  • lilbitmoreslyk, on 10/22/2008, -2/+16I was scared, almost thought it was real. Damn Onion.
  • AtraNoxVII, on 10/22/2008, -5/+18"If your daughter, girlfriend, or secretary has small breasts, let her know that she should get the help she needs."

    Daughter? Uhhh no?
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -0/+13I agree...but only if they're real.
  • Eslamicolt3, on 10/22/2008, -1/+13These are troubling times indeed
  • Genecalypse, on 10/22/2008, -0/+12too bad shes pregnant LOL
  • sully213, on 10/22/2008, -1/+12Funny stuff. When I was in 7th grade, a friend of mine and I would classify the flat-chested girls in our school as members of the IBTC (Itty Bitty Titty Committee). I'm proud to see that our work has been carried on and is now being supported by the Senate 15 years later ;)
  • SkateorDie, on 10/22/2008, -0/+10***** that, I like the a-c sizes. anything above is not as attractive.
  • aerospacemonkey, on 10/22/2008, -4/+14Have you tried motorboating an A-cup? It sounds like baby Jesus crying!
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -1/+9yes please
  • andyb747, on 10/22/2008, -3/+11"I wish I had more hands..... so I can give them titties four thumbs down"
  • coyote1284, on 10/22/2008, -1/+9I am very happy with medium, or when they fit the rest of the body. A short, petite build with double-D's is just not right.
  • Genecalypse, on 10/22/2008, -0/+8Cause it is?
  • galv0, on 10/22/2008, -0/+8Also agreed.
  • deathbypick, on 10/22/2008, -4/+11I (L) SMall Boobies....
  • Balath, on 10/22/2008, -0/+7While I can appreciate a magnificent set of breasts, such mammaries can be ungainly. Proportion is a happy medium.
  • Cglass, on 10/22/2008, -0/+7pics or it didnt happen
  • GVR90, on 10/22/2008, -2/+9....aaaand buried for you.
  • Jimbob200, on 10/22/2008, -1/+7SOUNDS LIKE ORC MISCHIEF TO MEE
  • cdigioia, on 10/22/2008, -1/+7Mouthful = sub A-cup (unless you have an insanely large mouth).

    Maybe you meant handful? Even then, visuals are worth something, no?
  • Icetype, on 10/22/2008, -0/+6I lost my number, can I have yours?
  • ReyX, on 10/22/2008, -0/+6There are mounds of evidence to support the danger of this condition.

    Forget it. Boobs.
  • Zirdante, on 10/22/2008, -0/+6"Females with this disorder may also experience a troubling absence of back pain."
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -0/+6and yet you're still reading it and commenting on it
  • inactive, on 10/22/2008, -2/+8Haahahaha, I'm in class and I almost burst out laughing.
  • Rikushix, on 10/22/2008, -4/+10I detect no satire.

    What? This is serious.
  • Truckondo, on 10/22/2008, -0/+5Real Boobs > Fake Boobs > NO Boobs
  • diggopolous, on 10/22/2008, -6/+11Remember anything more than a mouthful is wasted....
  • Harabeck, on 10/22/2008, -3/+8Big boobs= saggy

    Too small is bad too of course. There is a happy medium.
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