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Michael Phelps Returns To His Tank At Sea World

theonion.com — Fourteen-time Olympic gold medalist and SeaWorld main attraction Michael Phelps returned to his seven-million-gallon water tank Wednesday to resume his normal schedule of performing in six shows a day for marine park crowds every day of the week.

Who dugg this? Made popular Aug 21, 2008

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179 Comments

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  • inactive, on 08/21/2008, -9/+401The onion never fails. Very appropriate article. Love it.
  • IamNOTmrT, on 08/21/2008, -12/+387The internet would suck without The Onion
  • sockpuppets, on 08/21/2008, -1/+240http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v474/NovaSk/MJ2Z ...
  • inactive, on 08/21/2008, -2/+230Don't tap on the glass!
  • aralls, on 08/21/2008, -8/+163"Raised in captivity by Mark Spitz and Dara Torres".... love it
  • kevman459, on 08/22/2008, -1/+121http://i33.tinypic.com/nqwqwg.jpg
  • jessem19, on 08/21/2008, -3/+102Tomorrow will be the announcement of the box office smash, Free Phelps.
  • Cancerous, on 08/21/2008, -4/+99Dugg for Michael cupping the little girl's breasts through the glass. That takes skill.
  • fascistpig, on 08/21/2008, -2/+58The Onion existed before the internet.
  • Jeffler, on 08/21/2008, -0/+54won too
  • koldmilk, on 08/21/2008, -1/+54Baby dolphins learn to swim from watching Michael Phelps...
  • AnotherEdd, on 08/21/2008, -3/+54Hey, he looks just like the Michael Phelps I saw in San Diego.. what gives? There are 2?
  • SitPoMk, on 08/21/2008, -2/+45Finally, I guess that it's from The Onion from the title correctly.
    We had some pretty wild ***** on Digg the past week.
  • bunker6, on 08/21/2008, -2/+43I'm buying a "Phelps' Happy Harbor" shirt next time I'm at Sea World
  • Seaton, on 08/21/2008, -3/+43A Michael Phelps flip turn is the only thing in the universe that can counter a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
  • str3ama, on 08/21/2008, -6/+45lol I'd pay to see that, it'd sure beat looking at some really poor fish and animals living in apalling conditions, as children and idiots gawk and tap on the glass endlessly in some vain attempt to get the creature to acknowledge their presence and perform tricks.

    But anyways, totally unrelated to this ..just came across a weird digg error - http://digg.com/page/6 (title: Says Buy One Jamba Juice, Get One Free) - ughh..honest glitch or secret page??
  • sexysindee84, on 08/21/2008, -4/+37we all one that race
  • BetterOffEd, on 08/21/2008, -0/+25Hmm... I dunno...

    But check *these* out...

    http://digg.com/page/1

    http://digg.com/page/2

    http://digg.com/page/7

    http://digg.com/page/8

    http://digg.com/page/9

    http://digg.com/page/11

  • lanalachat, on 08/21/2008, -0/+25screw shark vs. octopus, i wanna see phelps vs. octopus!!
  • inactive, on 08/22/2008, -0/+23You sir are my new favorite hero. "and this sperm is at new world record time, but just watch after this next turn he will swim way fast away"
  • Brassbud, on 08/21/2008, -5/+28Once, when I stayed late after the show at SeaWorld, Phelps talked to me. I mean it, he really talked, said something about having to get back to the moon...
  • TripcodeMel, on 08/22/2008, -0/+20Not even ANOTHER Chuck Norris roundhouse kick?

    Let me ask you this: Could Chuck Norris kick his own ass?
  • BetterOffEd, on 08/21/2008, -0/+19I dunno... I actually like the tabloid newspaper format that comes out...
  • chrispeters, on 08/21/2008, -5/+23You fail at the internet.
  • FATEorFORTUNE, on 08/21/2008, -2/+20i heard they hold gold medals above the water and he jumps out and catches them with his mouth. word on the street...
  • Jauladeoro, on 08/27/2008, -1/+18I'm ashamed to say that I didn't think it was the Onion until I looked closer at the source. It seemed conceivable to me that he worked at Sea World.
  • protyus, on 08/22/2008, -1/+17On Chuck Norris' final mission in the bays of North Korea, he round house kicked a dolphin which in turn got it pregnant. 72 hours later, Phelps was born from it's womb. He was later shipped to Sea World which he is still there today.
  • subliminalurge, on 08/21/2008, -2/+18A swing and a miss.....
  • ZachTorpy, on 08/22/2008, -1/+17...you wouldn't like Phelps when he's angry.
  • Darkaged, on 08/21/2008, -0/+15The full pages are loading for me now. They all seem to originate from the beginning of Digg. Maybe the engineers are changing the url to access the pages.
  • diddlebunny, on 08/22/2008, -0/+15So funny. Every time my 3 year old sees him on TV she yells FISHMAN.
  • recruz, on 08/21/2008, -0/+15i hate it when i'm reading through the article first, without looking at the source (which i basically always do), and then half way through the first few paragraphs, i'm like ... what the hell? this can't be real! ... then I look up at the icon, and badang, there is the little green onion with the white background ... gets me every time!!
  • turner050, on 08/22/2008, -0/+15So lemme get this straight. The article actually fooled you for a moment into believing Michael Phelps lives in a tank a sea world?
  • Licurgo, on 08/21/2008, -0/+14the other one give up and that's why im here
  • Seaton, on 08/22/2008, -0/+14There is no such thing as Global Warming, it's the Earth making more water for him to swim in.
  • gcnaddict, on 08/22/2008, -0/+12You should take sex education a third time. It's clear you don't know how Phelpsies are made.
  • WebDaemon666, on 08/22/2008, -0/+12Holy crap that made me laugh out loud.
  • BossKey, on 08/21/2008, -1/+12Too bad the Onion already proved you wrong years ago...
  • diggit23, on 08/22/2008, -0/+11my head just a 'sploded
  • fascistpig, on 08/21/2008, -3/+14I knew it!
  • Nextwave, on 08/22/2008, -0/+11I'm guessing you're getting dugg down by people who don't watch South Park. That was a hilarious episode.
  • reyfin, on 08/21/2008, -1/+12This quote is better!
    "I liked it when he played dead and floated in the water," added McKay's 8-year-old son Brandon, who was clutching a Michael Phelps stuffed doll. "I also liked when he blew water on everyone."
  • Seaton, on 08/22/2008, -0/+10Tidal waves do not exist, it's just the wake from Michael Phelps' morning workout.
  • steezyyy, on 08/21/2008, -3/+13At least this time it's the onion. Everyone needs to get off Michael Phelps nuts.
  • Airforcefalco, on 08/21/2008, -0/+9Do they take people from the stands and let them swim with Phelps?
  • rinote, on 08/21/2008, -0/+9I'd love to be in his splash zone!
  • Lewie, on 08/21/2008, -0/+9The tides change according to Michael Phelps’ training regimen
  • grey580, on 08/21/2008, -1/+10Raised in captivity by Mark Spitz and Dara Torres. Little does Michael Phelps know his true heritage. He is a King, The Warrior King of Atlantis! Also known to the surface world as Aquaman.

    All Phelps now needs is someone to cut off a hand so he can have Star Labs attach that hook to it.
  • thebrokenlight, on 08/21/2008, -0/+8You have issues.
  • wibambau, on 08/22/2008, -0/+8The loch ness monster has never been found because it is hiding from Michael Phelps.
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