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How to Shame a 419 Scanner Into Retirement

cracked.com — At least you'd hope it ended her career.

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  • mrwizard14, on 05/04/2008, -6/+44Epic!
    • vatd112, on 05/04/2008, -7/+5I like to masturbate to emails....
    • dinostabOMG, on 05/04/2008, -1/+10Meh, she caught on pretty quick. It's only funny if you can string them along like the Anus Laptop guy.
    • SuperWinner, on 05/04/2008, -0/+14scanner = scammer
    • nerdherder, on 05/04/2008, -1/+10Firefox needs an add-on that can block certain words of my choice. First word, epic.
      • G4M3R, on 05/04/2008, -1/+3Epic win!
      • Mononuclear, on 05/04/2008, -0/+13you can do it with firefox and greasemonkey. Both are epic pieces of software
      • nmnnotmyname, on 05/04/2008, -0/+23pic.

        Now thank yourself that people just say Epic.
    • synthoid, on 05/04/2008, -3/+1Not more epic than GTA4 you wildly wacky banana!
    • Spudster, on 05/04/2008, -0/+2Nigerian Scam Baiting: The new internet bloodsport!
    • picsectionpleez, on 05/05/2008, -0/+1It's important to realize that gaming with the scammers does not always turn out so happy lucky and fun. I used to do it, and one time somehow one of them managed to gain my identity- which resulted in phone calls to my cell phone threatening to come to my house in Houston if i did not send some money to New York. It was pretty scary. Of course I refused, but still who knows what these people are capable of.........
  • analreceiver, on 05/04/2008, -0/+64Nice thumbnail
  • EmitStop, on 05/04/2008, -1/+28*Bookmarks JuvenileComedy.com*

    This must be one of the funniest things I've seen on Cracked.
  • DeskFlyer, on 05/04/2008, -1/+23Google 419eater.
    • cgbspender, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1Google thescambaiter & anus laptops ;)
    • jud420, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1yeah, although this is pretty good, I've seen much better ones than this. Gotta love when the scambaiter actually gets the scammer to send back a picture, or even money. THOSE are epic.
  • JJCDAD, on 05/04/2008, -4/+163scanner?
    • PolarBearCa, on 05/04/2008, -1/+4Maybe she is a Cronenberg fan?
    • einstein2k8, on 05/04/2008, -3/+12I don't remember the 419 scanner. Is it from HP? I think I saw it in some of the spam they sent me.
  • Andrewbot, on 05/04/2008, -1/+85When I buy a house someday, I will make sure it has a crying room, a UFC cage in the backyard, and of course, a spanking room.

    Dugg.
  • yauhin, on 05/04/2008, -1/+92Shaniqua 31:12
    hahaha
    • nerdherder, on 05/04/2008, -1/+4Xanadu and Jemeriquiah were much better.
  • cave, on 05/04/2008, -5/+15I've never gotten any of these scams in my mail, I must be doing something right.
  • lukas88, on 05/04/2008, -23/+5"18!?!?!"

    Way to take it out of context. Listen to her words, she is not saying she sent an 18 year old.

    If there is any conspiracy going on, most likely it is that infowars is actually run by the government to make conspiracy theorists look crazy and stupid.
    • GeyserShitdick, on 05/04/2008, -0/+26Somewhere a bunch of infowars fans are scratching their heads, trying to figure out why the guy they were having a debate with responded to one of their arguments with "I liked the part where he said the horse bit his wife to death."
      • wrongonce, on 05/04/2008, -0/+2Mr. *****, you hurt me with your funny-ness.
    • theeldest, on 05/04/2008, -1/+3o.0
    • wrongonce, on 05/04/2008, -0/+3I so bad want this to make some sort of sense.
  • Pilomotor, on 05/04/2008, -1/+48That really was the perfect way to end it.
    • stuffradio, on 05/04/2008, -0/+6Now I want to know what happens :(
  • GlennLThompson, on 05/04/2008, -0/+69I like how the scammer gets all ***** with the allcaps at one point.
    • g0dfather, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1And now the spammer added him to the "Spam" list. How ironic.
  • aforsberg, on 05/04/2008, -0/+35"The fires of Heaven will rain down upon the wicked. And the wicked will scream with their mouth holes. And God will laugh."

    Awesome!
  • omnithought, on 05/04/2008, -0/+56"I wish to slap you in your mouth hole" hahahahaha
  • skoops, on 05/04/2008, -12/+7WTF... SCANNER?... Dude!
  • ElBeh, on 05/04/2008, -0/+22Serves that scammer right for not using FireFox and its God-given spellcheck.
    • CapeKid, on 05/04/2008, -1/+13And on the first version Firefox gave us tabbed browsing and it was good.
      And on the second version Firefox gave us spell check and it was good.
      And on the third version Firefox gave us improved bookmarks and it was good.

      • homeagain1, on 05/04/2008, -0/+5...and so it was written in The Book of Mozilla.
    • SpookyPig, on 05/06/2008, -0/+1To be honest... i don't like the spell checker that much. I mean it's a god send, because i spell like *****. But there are a lot of words that i struggle with (like immediate) where when i misspell it, it gives me "megadeth" as a suggestion.
  • vatd112, on 05/04/2008, -8/+18This story appeared on my local news station:
    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LbvP7dT3Dx0

    I laughed so hard, i almost ***** myself
  • johndajap56, on 05/04/2008, -6/+0looks like the broken english is from KevinFederline lol
  • ichbeineinrcg, on 05/04/2008, -0/+7The ending to the saga is full of win. Great article!
  • LotusWolf, on 05/04/2008, -6/+1419 scanner?
  • Breticus07, on 05/04/2008, -4/+9funny but loooooong
  • mal1964, on 05/04/2008, -6/+1Shame is COOL!
  • T8erT0T, on 05/04/2008, -1/+42An A+ punchline and well worth the read!
    RIP John Cheeseman
  • itsradBrad, on 05/04/2008, -3/+2I still like the Order of the Red Breast one better but this is pretty awesome.
  • graciouspatty, on 05/04/2008, -5/+3oooh the title isn't even close
  • rentmitchum, on 05/04/2008, -0/+30I've always favored the book of FlavaFlav.
    • BTConan, on 05/04/2008, -1/+3FlavaFlav talks about killing too much. I prefer the imagery of the Book of Shaniqua.
  • nusuni, on 05/04/2008, -7/+6Gotta watch out for those scanners - their flashy lights will mind control you and try to steal your money ;)
  • tgunner, on 05/04/2008, -7/+9Which company makes the 419 Scanner?
    • MtheoryX, on 05/04/2008, -0/+2HP. Got it on Newegg for 50 bucks and free shipping.
  • BurningSky, on 05/04/2008, -1/+2That was awesome. I've Juvenile Comedy to my blog and I look forward to collapsing with laughter again in the near future...
  • xz9925, on 05/04/2008, -0/+47"If you love the Lord as I love the Lord, you would kill yourself without haste." -Flavaflav 13:69
  • JabberBody, on 05/04/2008, -3/+2I still don't understand why he didn't just give the poor woman his bank account information. It seems to me that this would be a great way to make money!
  • SHv2, on 05/04/2008, -3/+0http://www.emailscamsarefun.com/

    http://www.emailscamsarefun.com/2008/02/terry-orr- ...
    My favorite is: "Why do you keep changing your freaking ***** name. You are dubious. Why havent you called me up till now."
  • palmdoc, on 05/04/2008, -3/+2Dunno if it's just me but I read that as John Cleese :)
  • punkrockscks, on 05/04/2008, -1/+4holy crap that was way funnier than I was expecting.
  • BrokenLaptop, on 05/04/2008, -0/+19"And he ate with glee, the nuts of The Maker." -Dextrose 14:89
    "And Jezariqua did tell them, 'Hark unto thee. For I am thou ye'est. Feast in the Lord and pick dry thine thoust.'" -Squancho 7:14
    "The fires of Heaven will rain down upon the wicked. And the wicked will scream with their mouth holes. And God will laugh." -Constalias 34:18
    "Wipe clean your nipples of motherhood and enter My Kingdom with clean breasts anew." -Shaniqua 31:12
  • sq2shooter, on 05/04/2008, -2/+12It's SCAMMER ya moran.
  • JakeyG14, on 05/04/2008, -2/+2If you found that funny, then you should appreciate the following:-
    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5MTFauI8INY
  • bigfatphony19, on 05/04/2008, -0/+0"If you continue this line of thinking, you and your daughter will certainly burn in Hell, and you will suffer an eternity of crying and being thirsty. Since you will be dead soon, you must repent so that you can enter Heaven and not scream with the rapists of Hell."


    I laughed so hard at that
  • JulyZerg, on 05/04/2008, -6/+1The sad thing is, "she" was probably a man... ahahhaha!
    This was VERY funny... and it is a SCAMMER, by the way! I'm still laughing...
  • mongushu, on 05/04/2008, -2/+1yes.
  • TecK415, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1This is ***** brilliant.
  • univerio, on 05/04/2008, -0/+3Forgive me for being naive, but is this real?
    • Javlington, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1we'll never know.
    • Rinxix, on 05/04/2008, -1/+0Naive? I think the word you are looking for is skeptical. A naive person would not consider the story being false.
    • MawBTS, on 05/07/2008, -0/+0yes, it's real. the author of the article, John, was talking about how he was stringing one along on the forums
  • Portagine, on 05/04/2008, -15/+4Tedious, lengthy, and predictable. Is that the recipe for a cracked.com story nowadays? I've seen a million scammer scams and this one may have had a punchline, it just took 10 ***** minutes to get to it. Next time send the bait earlier and maybe I'll give a *****. Waste of time with little payoff.
    • RadiatedAnt, on 05/04/2008, -1/+5You're retarded, minus 10 diggs for you.
    • GeyserShitdick, on 05/04/2008, -0/+5I hate when the internet makes me read!
    • Portagine, on 05/04/2008, -0/+2Seriously, if you really like cracked.com articles and equate that with "good reading" you must hate when literature make you read.
  • RadiatedAnt, on 05/04/2008, -1/+2Oh my god I haven't laughed at a digg article so bad in a long time. Excellent read!
    • Portagine, on 05/04/2008, -2/+2If that made you laugh your sense of humor and taste in all things amazing ***** baffles me.
  • tehknotte, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1It was like the modern day Streetcar.
  • Low023, on 05/04/2008, -0/+7"If you love the Lord as I love the Lord, you would kill yourself without haste." -Flavaflav 13:69

    Comedy gold.
  • tehknotte, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1Here I go. :(
  • nattybohman, on 05/04/2008, -3/+3Do these guys submit so many digg articles that they can't afford the 2 seconds it takes to proof read their titles?
    Scanner?
    Come on!?!?
    • Laughto, on 05/04/2008, -0/+2Don't think submitter is affiliated with Cracked
      • aladrin, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1Nobody said they were. They said the submitter can't afford an extra 2 seconds to proof read their titles because they submit so many articles to digg. He never said 'cracked articles', just 'articles'.
  • krytz86, on 05/04/2008, -0/+2This is genius...
    "For that, I will be killing myself within the next 24 hours"
    LOL'd many times
  • CarbonAndroid, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1So, she's stealing from Christians. What's new.
  • dudio, on 05/04/2008, -0/+4the biblical quotes were the best.

    Good stuff
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