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How To Handle The Jerk Next To You On An Airplane

boortz.com — 1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case. 2. Remove your laptop. 3. Start up 4. Make sure the guy who is annoying you can see the screen. 5. Close your eyes, join your palms together, tilt your head up to the sky & move your lips as if praying 6. Then hit the link

Who dugg this? Made popular Apr 10, 2008

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  • db0255, on 04/10/2008, -4/+1884aka how to get arrested on a plane.
  • insomniac8400, on 04/10/2008, -2/+988I prefer the title, "How to earn a free ticket to Guantanamo bay."
  • goldenghost, on 04/10/2008, -12/+744my arabic friend didn't like this too much when i showed it to him.

    he translated the text into, "BRANDON IS A FAG".
    coincidently, brandon just so happens to be my name. so whoever made this thing doesn't like me too much.
  • vsujohn2, on 04/10/2008, -20/+549I'm sick of these ***** JERKS ON THIS ***** PLANE!!
  • hypnotoad32, on 04/10/2008, -5/+419I was waiting for the Rickroll at 00:00:00.
  • eavesdrop, on 04/10/2008, -50/+438Or your arabic friend played a joke on you.
  • doshindude, on 04/10/2008, -3/+343How to mysteriously disappear from society.
  • sungoddess808, on 04/10/2008, -24/+340That's priceless!! =)
  • Gabberwok, on 04/10/2008, -4/+280If the jerk next to you is an undercover air marshal, this is a great way to get shot on a plane.
  • jcroisant4, on 04/10/2008, -2/+261 . . . apparently somebody likes having their rectum inspected by the Federal Authorities . . . FUNNY AS HELL!
  • Coolone84, on 04/10/2008, -3/+224Brilliant Sherlock, simply brilliant :-/
  • colin8651, on 04/10/2008, -1/+207May also get an all expenses paid trip to the beautiful island of Cuba.
  • GemStar38, on 04/10/2008, -3/+206definitely going to be arrested.
  • inactive, on 04/10/2008, -11/+195it helps if you're brown lookin
  • trogdor282, on 04/10/2008, -1/+181GET THIS MAN A NOBEL PRIZE STAT!!
  • dofkex, on 04/10/2008, -1/+163CAPTAIN OBVIOUS SAVES THE DAY
  • DarthDaddy, on 04/10/2008, -27/+188ABSOLUTELY BEST story description EVER....makes the flash video much more interesting! DUGG!
  • doctechnical, on 04/10/2008, -5/+154Taze him, bro.
  • praneym, on 04/10/2008, -2/+145You will be on news the next day and of course, not for any good reason and I am sure you will not be watching it either.
  • HawkeyeMatt, on 04/10/2008, -2/+132Imagine the poor traveling digger who is killing some time right now waiting for his connecting flight, and clicks this link.
  • atdigg, on 04/10/2008, -3/+132with free medical care and free food
  • J3EBS, on 04/10/2008, -2/+131I DON'T GET TO TYPE IN CAPS VERY OFTEN, EITHER.
  • LumpOfCole, on 04/10/2008, -1/+122This would be much better as a virus that infects those using airport WiFi networks.
  • anonjcg, on 04/10/2008, -1/+121I opened that up in the airport right now and immediately closed it. I hope they don't arrest me!
  • DeskFlyer, on 04/10/2008, -2/+119How to get your name on the no-fly list.
  • praneym, on 04/10/2008, -9/+108it should be titled "how to get manhandled by the jerk next to you on the airplane"
  • Falldog, on 04/10/2008, -1/+99It's called Goatse and will have the same reaction with out that whole 'interrogated by the FBI' nuisance.
  • finista, on 04/10/2008, -0/+94Buried: my laptop didn't explode.
  • airwalkery2k, on 04/10/2008, -1/+92No, what you gotta do is get on his laptop when he's in the lavatory and put that on his screen.

    Problem solved.
  • hollywoodphony, on 04/10/2008, -5/+95You're a real hero. It took a lot of guts to say that on the internet.
  • NinjitsuStylee, on 04/10/2008, -0/+85Put the coffee down, man.
  • Ahnteis, on 04/10/2008, -0/+79Equivalent to yelling "FIRE" in a crowded theatre anyway. It's funny in your imagination, but don't ever do it.
  • lebruf, on 04/10/2008, -6/+84Jihad me.... as in ji had me at hello
  • jumico, on 04/11/2008, -1/+73THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY
  • NathanielJ, on 04/10/2008, -0/+68You don't need the internet to run an SWF file.
  • KMartSheriff, on 04/10/2008, -2/+70A BEER AND A MEDAL TO YOU SIR
  • shortyjacobs, on 04/10/2008, -1/+68Well that's pretty stupid. He should at least ask where the bomb IS first. Otherwise he'd have a dead pseudo-terrorist and no idea where to look.
  • thisissami, on 04/10/2008, -0/+64being a fluent arabic speaker/reader, i can definitely say that the text is just random arabic letters put together. in fact there are some forms of characters (unlike english each letter in arabic has numerous forms) that are supposed to only appear at the end of words that appear in the very middle... it literally reads: "ladabit nama'ila tawt na teersam" (where the ' is a glottal stop). it makes no sense at all in arabic either.
  • DarkDx, on 04/10/2008, -5/+64PULITZER; NOBEL; OSCARS; WHATEVER PRICE FOR THIS GUY OMGFG
  • hollywoodphony, on 04/10/2008, -7/+66Hey, this should have been titled "Here's an awesome joke that's about to be ruined by 15 idiots needlessly pointing out that it's not a good idea to take fake advice about how to handle yourself on an airplane seriously!"
  • inactive, on 04/10/2008, -3/+61Are you kidding me?! That is a sure fire way to get get tackled have the pane diverted and be on every single news station in a matter of 5 min.

  • terencec, on 04/10/2008, -1/+58its gonna be so great you can't leave!
  • dotlizard, on 04/10/2008, -4/+61might also be nice for when that annoying coworker is peering over your shoulder.
  • BevansDesign, on 04/10/2008, -1/+53"How to find out what waterboarding feels like".
  • schwartzwithyou, on 04/10/2008, -3/+54its cool too because you would have all this suspense, and then nothing would happen...but then he would think that it still might happen, like when you go to pick up a "dud" firecracker and it blows off your thumb
  • blademanx, on 04/11/2008, -1/+48CAPS LOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL
  • doctechnical, on 04/10/2008, -3/+48Speaking from experience, are we?
  • Renuvian, on 04/10/2008, -6/+51The first word is definitely not Brandon.
    I took a year of Arabic in college and thats about the extent of my knowledge.
  • Tyr86, on 04/10/2008, -2/+47Or peeing over your shoulder.
  • Jabertsohn, on 04/10/2008, -1/+43I did the same thing a week ago.
    I hope they didn't arrest me!
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