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Friend Somehow Bad At Hanging Out

theonion.com — According to local resident Jay Reagor, his longtime friend Geoff Scovell, 25, is somehow not good at hanging out, the low-pressure recreational pastime in which skill and ability are generally not considered to be factors.

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  • Lawrencesss, on 07/13/2008, -9/+49I wish the onion's articles were as funny as their headlines.
    • sponeil, on 07/14/2008, -1/+2Yeah. It really is too bad the guy from SatireWire stopped writing new articles. Those articles were actually funny.
    • championchap, on 07/14/2008, -0/+6Used to be, back in the day eh?
      Archaeologists discover ancient race of skeleton people!

      That's a favorite of mine.
  • obliviousfool, on 07/13/2008, -2/+10I have a friend who is awful at hanging out. He always has to be doing something. He can't sit still. It would be comical if it didn't give me a headache.
    • Fighter2a, on 07/13/2008, -0/+5There's medication for that.
      • MariusAgricola, on 07/14/2008, -0/+5The headache or the ansty friend?
      • obliviousfool, on 07/14/2008, -0/+2I've been telling him that for years. He needs some anti-anxiety stuff. He's the only person I know who can make hanging out stressful.
      • bg2500, on 07/14/2008, -0/+2Alcohol?
    • tedrock, on 07/14/2008, -8/+1great story
      A++
      do tell again.
    • championchap, on 07/14/2008, -1/+10..that sounds like my girlfriend.
      Can we go for a walk?
      Should we go to Birmingham for the day?
      Lets get outside at least!

      Damnit woman! Sometimes i just want to relax!!
      • nbcaffeine, on 07/14/2008, -5/+2She should be saying "lets get the F out of Alabama!"
      • championchap, on 07/14/2008, -1/+2No, Birmingham in the UK.
        It's actually quite nice.
      • Onji, on 07/19/2008, -0/+1***** women...
  • spence798, on 07/13/2008, -0/+20this article describes my own social interactions accurately. sadly, i've had friends remark, "you make me feel so awkward."
  • Phoros, on 07/13/2008, -1/+43i thought this was about me..
  • AanaknSkywalker, on 07/13/2008, -0/+18The Onion is the most truthful and accurate news source available.
  • pingpants, on 07/13/2008, -0/+2yeah, but his MMORPG etiquette = WIN
  • SmellyFingers, on 07/13/2008, -3/+30My friends and I just circle jerk. There's a lot of things hanging out if you know what I mean.
  • piattorney, on 07/14/2008, -6/+1What a loser
  • Eavesdropping, on 07/14/2008, -4/+2Maybe he laughs like a girl. That can be a real deal breaker for hanging out. Hang in there, Geoff. I'm sure there will be a self-help book for hanging out like a pro soon.
    • Eavesdropping, on 07/14/2008, -1/+1Hey why's this comment getting undugg? It appears I have struck a cord. What do you guys have issues with, the girly laugh or the self-help book? Digg is hilarious.
      • Inaktivist, on 07/15/2008, -0/+0Whoooooooooosh... Not to mention the fact that you made a comment about people burying your comment.
      • Eavesdropping, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Love it! Is it sudden death to comment about burying your comment? I simply seek first to understand, then to be understood, whoooooooosh master.
  • sh0rtstop00, on 07/14/2008, -7/+2Have you had your Onion today?
  • minigig, on 07/14/2008, -1/+7I did not even look that it was the onion and did not notice until the end which has the little green onion logo. which shocked me cause this describes exactly what its like one person I know.
    • BitKid, on 07/14/2008, -0/+1I don't think there is a psychological discipline geared toward "interpersonal hang-out deficiency".
    • DteK, on 07/14/2008, -0/+2yes the onion is good at that. You should check out the onion movie, pretty dam funny
    • wertach, on 07/16/2008, -0/+1You know me?
  • Blademan88, on 07/14/2008, -8/+1well that sucked
  • TheMightyDane, on 07/14/2008, -9/+1This gotta be a joke..
  • Thecatman11, on 07/14/2008, -18/+0For those of you who actually read the entire thing: Get A Life
  • tommy8748, on 07/14/2008, -2/+8...but amazing at world of warcraft
  • Akraz, on 07/14/2008, -9/+1The picture caption confuses me. It says that Geoff (right) makes the simple act of relaxing with a beer and watching TV an uncomfortable experience. Well, the guy on the right (assuming from our PoV) is wearing an orange shirt, who is Geoff. But he doesnt have a beer in his hand, and is the one with the tv remote.

    Now, the guy on the left, who you would assume to be Geoff may be the guy the caption is referring too from their PoV; he does have a beer and has a certain look on his face that only reads the simple expression of being uncomfortable.



  • homah, on 07/14/2008, -0/+29These comments, including mine, are horrible.
  • solique, on 07/14/2008, -0/+4The news may be fake but the problem is terrifyingly real.
    May I suggest we let this article inspire the creation of a self help group.
    "Hi, I'm Sol and I'm bad at hanging out"
  • DteK, on 07/14/2008, -0/+6"...bonded with him over their mutual interest in baseball, the Kinks, and Chuck Palahniuk novels"

    I found that pretty funny. Isnt that the gay guy who wrote fight club and some other pretty disturbing novels?
    • Acglaphotis, on 07/14/2008, -2/+1What about it?
    • Jones82, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1I don't think that was meant to be that funny, being into Chuck Palahniuk isn't too rare.
  • scottinks, on 07/14/2008, -5/+2Maybe he's gay and rather make out than hang out.
  • Sommerlost, on 07/14/2008, -0/+9I played in a band with a guy like that. He was a good guy, brought his share of the beer, we had a few things in common, but I never truly felt like I was having fun when we hung out away from practice.

    I dunno, maybe it was his beard.
  • BarneyXP, on 07/14/2008, -0/+3Maybe he's always paranoid... that can be annoying.
  • ReyX, on 07/14/2008, -4/+1I love how people are coming up with all kinds of diagnoses and theories about this guy.

    IT'S A ***** ONION ARTICLE!
    • WiretapStudios, on 07/14/2008, -0/+1Wow...you must actually be the guy that sucks at hanging out, because you totally missed the point of all the comments....
    • Jones82, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1The reason why the Onion is funny is because it relates to real life
  • dfwlinuxguy, on 07/14/2008, -4/+4ok if I wanted to read another onion article, I would go to theonion.com. I'm sick of clicking on stories, only to be sent off to that stupid website yet again.
    • WiretapStudios, on 07/14/2008, -0/+3Clue #1 - It says 'the onion.com' beside it.
  • soniyashrma, on 07/14/2008, -1/+2He can't sit still. It would be comical if it didn't give me a headache.
  • juniorb, on 07/14/2008, -0/+3@ReyX: Yeah, it’s The Onion, but satire usually contains a kernel of truth.

    I know people like this, who don’t do anything “wrong” exactly, but make other people uncomfortable. People should pay more attention to this, because I think the basis of most friendships is not shared interests or mutual friends, but how you feel around that person.

    It mainly comes down to the “vibes” they’re giving off, whether through body language, inflection in the voice, the eyes, attitude, etc. Some people give off a good, comfortable vibe, and those people are usually comfortable themselves. Others give off an uncomfortable vibe because they are uncomfortable. It’s the rare person who is perfectly comfortable but makes everyone else uncomfortable. Those people are aliens.
  • CluckerMcDuck, on 07/14/2008, -2/+1i thought this was the most idiotic ridiculous thing I had ever read and couldn't believe it was an article till I relised it was the onion then all made sense with the world again....well sort of
  • frazier117, on 07/14/2008, -2/+1half-eaten candy corn at the bottom-left of this page.
  • sure13, on 07/14/2008, -0/+3I have a friend like this. He makes comments on the most irrelevant things while we're just sitting there watching TV. No wait..I watch the TV while HE comments on things that are on TV or whatever. And he doesn't just comment, you can see him staring at you out of the corner of your eye while you're trying to focus on the game, show, or whatever is on. He's a good guy and about 1/4 of the time he actually talks about interesting things but sometimes I just want to turn and yell "Dude, you don't always have to comment on irrelevant *****! Can't you just chill out and shut up! And stop staring at me when you talk JESUS!"

    It's like he doesn't realize that it makes people uncomfortable when you attempt to maintain constant eye contact while conversing. It's ok to look around the room or let your eyes wander when you're speaking. Seriously, I can hear you without looking at you chief.
  • dk2hint, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1Love The Onion. Love Digg. I don't confuse the two. Buried.
  • JMellissa, on 07/15/2008, -0/+1I can totally relate. I have trouble "hanging out" and not doing something.
    I can watch only so many movies in a row.
  •  

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